"stoker-dracula-168" - читать интересную книгу автора (Stoker Bram)

soon think that he himself is God. These infinitesimal distinctions
between man and man are too paltry for an Omnipotent Being. How
these madmen give themselves away! The real God taketh heed lest a
sparrow fall; but the God created from human vanity sees no difference
between an eagle and a sparrow. Oh, if men only knew!

For half an hour or more Renfield kept getting excited in greater
and greater degree. I did not pretend to be watching him, but I kept
strict observation all the same. All at once that shifty look came
into his eyes which we always see when a madman has seized an idea,
and with it the shifty movement of the head and back which asylum
attendants come to know so well. He became quite quiet, and went and
sat on the edge of his bed resignedly, and looked into space with
lack-lustre eyes. I thought I would find out if his apathy were real
or only assumed, and tried to lead him to talk of his pets, a theme
which had never failed to excite his attention. At first he made no
reply, but at length said testily:-

"Bother them all! I don't care a pin about them."

"What?" I said. "You don't mean to tell me you don't care about
spiders?" (Spiders at present are his hobby, and the note-book is
filling up with columns of small figures.) To this he answered
enigmatically:-

"The bride-maidens rejoice the eyes that wait the coming of the
bride; but when the bride draweth nigh, then the maidens shine not
to the eyes that are filled."

He would not explain himself, but remained obstinately seated on his
bed all the time I remained with him.

I am weary to-night and low in spirits. I cannot but think of
Lucy, and how different things might have been. If I don't sleep at
once, chloral, the modern Morpheus- C(2) HCL(3)O: H(2)O! I must be
careful not to let it grow into a habit. No, I shall take none
ton-night! I have thought of Lucy, and I shall not dishonour her by
mixing the two. If need be, to-night shall be sleepless.

Later.- Glad I made the resolution; gladder that I kept to it. I had
lain tossing about, and had heard the clock strike only twice, when
the night-watchman came to me, sent up from the ward, to say that
Renfield had escaped. I threw on my clothes and ran down at once; my
patient is too dangerous a person to be roaming about. Those ideas
of his might work out dangerously with strangers. The attendant was
waiting for me. He said he had seen him not ten minutes before,
seemingly asleep in his bed, when he had looked through the
observation-trap in the door. His attention was called by the sound of
the window being wrenched out. He ran back and saw his feet
disappear through the window, and had at once sent up for me. He was