"Charles Stross - Missile Gap" - читать интересную книгу автора (Stross Charles)

suitcase the cabbie half-helpfully left on the front stoop.
тАЬMaddy.тАЭ He smiles tiredly. тАЬIтАЩve missed being home.тАЭ
тАЬCome on in.тАЭ She closes the screen door and carries the suitcase over to the stairs. HeтАЩs painfully thin now,
a far cry from the slightly too plump entomologist sheтАЩd met on the colony liner. тАЬIтАЩve got lots of stuff for you to
readтАУbut not until youтАЩre stronger. I donтАЩt want you overworking and putting yourself back in hospital!тАЭ
тАЬYouтАЩre an angel.тАЭ He stands uncertainly in his own living room, looking around as if he hadnтАЩt quite expected
to see it again. тАЬIтАЩm looking forward to seeing the termites.тАЭ
She shivers abruptly. тАЬIтАЩm not. Come on.тАЭ She climbs the stairs with the suitcase, not looking back. She
pushes through the door into the one bedroom thatтАЩs habitableтАУheтАЩs been using the other one to store
samplesтАУand dumps the case on the rough dressing table. SheтАЩs been up here before, first to collect his
clothing while he was in hospital and later to clean and make sure there are no poisonous spiders lurking in
the corners. It smells of camphor and dusty memories. She turns to face him. тАЬWelcome home.тАЭ She smiles
experimentally.
He looks around. тАЬYouтАЩve been cleaning.тАЭ
тАЬNot much.тАЭ She feels her face heat.
He shakes his head. тАЬThank you.тАЭ
She canтАЩt decide what to say. тАЬNo, no, itтАЩs not like that. If I wasnтАЩt here IтАЩd beтАжтАЭ
John shuffles. She blinks at him, feeling stupid and foolish. тАЬDo you have room for a lodger?тАЭ She asks.
He looks at her and she canтАЩt maintain eye contact. ItтАЩs all going wrong, not what she wanted.
тАЬThings going badly?тАЭ he asks, cocking his head on one side and staring at her. тАЬForgive me, I donтАЩt mean to
pryтАУтАЭ
тАЬNo, no, itтАЩs quite alright.тАЭ She sniffs. Takes a breath. тАЬThis continent breaks things. Bob hasnтАЩt been the
same since we arrived, or I, I havenтАЩt. I need to put some space between us, for a bit.тАЭ
тАЬOh.тАЭ
тАЬOh.тАЭ SheтАЩs silent for a while. тАЬI can pay rentтАУтАЭ
This is an excuse, a transparent rationalization, and not en-
tirely true, but sheтАЩs saved from digging herself deeper into a lie because John manages to stumble and
reaches out to steady himself with his right arm, which is still not entirely healed, and Maddy finds herself
with his weight on her shoulder as he hisses in pain. тАЬOw! Ow!тАЭ
тАЬIтАЩm sorry! IтАЩm sorry!тАЭ
тАЬIt wasnтАЩt youтАУтАЭ They make it to the bed and she sits him down beside her. тАЬI nearly blacked out then. I feel
useless. IтАЩm not half the man I was.тАЭ
тАЬI donтАЩt know about that,тАЭ she says absently, not quite registering his meaning. She strokes his cheek,
feeling it slick with sweat. The pulse in his neck is strong. тАЬYouтАЩre still recovering. I think they sent you home
too early. LetтАЩs get you into bed and rest up for a couple of hours, then see about something to eat. What do
you say to that?тАЭ
тАЬI shouldnтАЩt need nursing,тАЭ he protests faintly as she bends down and unties his shoe-laces. тАЬI donтАЩt
needтАжnursing.тАЭ He runs his fingers through her hair.
тАЬThis isnтАЩt about nursing.тАЭ
Two hours later, the patient is drifting on the edge of sleep, clearly tired out by his physical therapy and the
strain of homecoming. Maddy lies curled up against his shoulder, staring at the ceiling. She feels calm and at
peace for the first time since she arrived here. ItтАЩs not about Bob any more, is it? She asks herself. ItтАЩs not
about what anybody expects of me. ItтАЩs about what I want, about finding my place in the universe. She feels
her face relaxing into a smile. Truly, for a moment, it feels as if the entire universe is revolving around her in
stately synchrony.
John snuffles slightly then startles and tenses. She can tell heтАЩs come to wakefulness. тАЬFunny,тАЭ he says
quietly, then clears his throat.
тАЬWhat is?тАЭ Please donтАЩt spoil this, she prays.
тАЬI wasnтАЩt expecting this.тАЭ He moves beside her. тАЬWasnтАЩt expecting much of anything.тАЭ
тАЬWas it good?тАЭ She tenses.