"Charles Stross - Trunk and Disorderly" - читать интересную книгу автора (Stross Charles)

of days or maybe a week or twoтАФтАЭ

Jeremy was FionaтАЩs pet dwarf mammoth, an orange-brown knee-high
bundle of hairy malevolence. Last time IтАЩd looked after Jeremy he puked in
my bedтАФunder the duvetтАФwhile Laura and I were hosting a formal orgy for
the Tsarevitch of Ceres, who was traveling incognito to the inner system
because of some boring edict by the Orthodox Patriarch condemning the
fleshpits of Venus. Then thereтАЩs the time Jeremy got at the port, then went
on the rampage and ate Cousin BranwynтАЩs favorite skirt when we took him
to Landsdown Palace for a weekend with Fuffy Morgan, even though weтАЩd
locked him in one of the old guard towers with a supply of whatever it is that
dwarf mammoths are supposed to eat. You really canтАЩt take him
anywhereтАФheтАЩs a revolting beast. Not to mention an alcoholic one.

тАЬMust I?тАЭ I asked.

тАЬDonтАЩt whine!тАЭ Fi said brightly. тАЬNobody will ever take you seriously if
you whine, Ralphie. Anyway, you owe me a favor. Several favors, actually. If
I hadnтАЩt covered up for you that time when Boris Oblomov and you got
drunk and took Uncle FeatherstonehaughтАЩs yacht out for a spin around the
moon without checking the anti-matter reserve in the starboard gravity
polarizer....тАЭ

тАЬYes, Fi,тАЭ I said wearily, when she finally let me get a word in
edge-ways: тАЬI surrender. IтАЩll take Jeremy. But I donтАЩt promise IтАЩll be able to
look after him if I die on the drop. You realize itтАЩs under mortal jeopardy
rules? And I canтАЩt guarantee IтАЩll be able to protect him from Laura if she
shows up again running that bestiality mod your idiot pal Larry thought it
would be a good idea to install on her when she was high on pink noise that
timeтАФтАЭ
 тАЬThatтАЩs enough about Larry,тАЭ Fi said in a voice dripping liquid helium.
тАЬYou know IтАЩm not walking out with him any more. YouтАЩll look after Jeremy
for two weeks and thatтАЩs enough for me. HeтАЩs been a little sulky lately but
IтАЩm sure youтАЩd know all about that. IтАЩll make certain heтАЩs backed up first,
then IтАЩll drop him off on my way to S├гo Paolo skyport, right?тАЭ

тАЬWhat ho,тАЭ I said dispiritedly, and put the phone down. Then I
snapped my fingers for a chair, sat down, and held my head in my hands
for a while. My sister was making a backup of her mammothтАЩs twisted little
psyche to ensure Jeremy stayed available for future torments: nevertheless
she wouldnтАЩt forgive me if I killed the brute. Femmes! U or non-U, theyтАЩre
equally demanding. The chair whimpered unhappily as it massaged my
tensed-up spine and shoulders, but there was no escaping the fact that I
was stressed-out. Tomorrow was clearly going to be one of those days,
and I hadnтАЩt even scheduled the traditional post-drop drink with the boys
yet....

****

2. The New Butler Calls