"Arkady & Boris Strugatsky - The Ugly Swans" - читать интересную книгу автора (Strugatski Arkady)

"Four-eyes," said Victor. "A good old word. Since time im-memorial."
Dr. R. Quadriga was approaching. In front he was sopping wetтАФsomebody had probably washed him
over a sink. He looked tired and disillusioned.
"Goddamnit," he grumbled, still some distance away. "That never happened to me before. There wasn't
any entrance. No matter where you turn, nothing but windows. ... I seem to have made you wait,
gentlemen." He fell into his chair and saw Pavor. "He's here again," he informed Golem in a
The Ugly Swans 23
confidential whisper. "I hope he's not disturbing you. But you know, the most amazing thing just happened
to me. They got me all wet."
Golem poured him some cognac.
"Much obliged," said R. Quadriga, "but I think I'll skip a few rounds. I've got to dry out."
"In general," said Victor, "I'm for good old things. Let four-eyes stay four-eyes. And in general I don't
want to see any changes. I'm a conservative. Attention!" he said in a loud voice. "I propose a toast to
conservatism. One minute." He poured himself some gin and stood up, leaning on the back of the chair.
"I'm a conservative," he said. "And every year I get more conservative, only not because I'm getting older,
but be-cause I feel that way."
Pavor, sober, his glass suspended in midair, was looking at him with pointed attention. Golem slowly ate
his marinated eel, and Dr. R. Quadriga seemed overwhelmed by the problem of who was talking.
Everything was fine.
"People love to criticize the government for being too con-servative," Victor continued. "People love to
extol progress. This is a new tendency, and it's stupid, like everything else that's new. People should pray
God for the most sluggish, back-ward, conformist government possible."
Now even Golem raised his eyes and looked at him, and Teddy stopped wiping bottles at the bar and
strained to lis-ten. But then the back of his head began to ache, and he had to put down his glass and rub
his lump.
"The government apparatus, gentlemen, has throughout time considered its primary task to be the
maintenance of the status quo. I don't know to what extent this was justified before, but now it's absolutely
necessary. I would formulate it as follows: do everything possible to prevent the future from extending its
feelers into our own time, chop off these feelers, or sear them with hot iron. Make it hard for inventors, but
encourage wind-bags and pedants. Institute an exclusively classical education in
24 The Ugly Swans

all schools. All candidates for the highest government posts should be old codgers burdened with families
and debts, mini-mal age fifty, to foster bribe-taking and sleeping at committee meetings."
"What's all this bullshit for, Victor," said Pavor reproachfully.
"Why, what's wrong with it?" said Golem. "It's a rare plea-sure to hear a speech of such moderation and
loyalty."
"I haven't finished yet, gentlemen! Talented scientists should be turned into highly paid administrators. All
inven-tions are to be accepted and then shelved. Inventors must be poorly paid. Draconic taxes should be
extracted for all com-mercial or industrial innovations." "Why am I standing up anyway," thought Victor
suddenly and sat down. "Well, how do you like it?" he asked Golem.
"You are absolutely right," said Golem. "We have nothing but radicals around here. Even the director of
the middle school. Conservatism is our only salvation."
Victor tossed off his gin. He was starting to get pathetic. "There isn't going to be any salvation. Because
all these idiot radicals don't only believe in progress, they love it, they think they can't live without it.
Because progress, in addition to every-thing else, means cheap cars, domestic gadgets, more for less. So
every government is forced to use one handтАФthat is to say, not a hand, of courseтАФto use one foot to step
on the brakes and the other to step on the gas. Like a racing car driver on a curve. The brakes keep you
from losing control and the gas keeps you from losing speed, so that some demagogic champion of progress
doesn't shove you out of the driver's seat."