"Theodore Sturgeon - Shottle Bop" - читать интересную книгу автора (Sturgeon Theodore)

"I saw you when you came in and I fell down and got up and saw you again," he quibbled,
beamed. "What can I foo for do?"
"Huh?" I huhed, and then translated it into "What can I do for you?"
"Oh, I said. "Well, I saw your sign. What have you got in a bottle that I might like?"
"What do you want?"
"What've you got?"
He broke into a piping chantтАФI remember it yet, word for word.

"For half a buck, a vial of luck
Or a bottle of nifty breaks
Or a flask of joy, or Myrna Loy
For luncheon with sirloin steaks

"Pour out a mug from this old jug,
And you'll never get wet in rains.
I've bottles of grins and racetrack wins
and lotions to ease your pains.
Here's bottles of imps and wet-pack shrimps
"

From a sea unknown to man,
And an elixir to banish fear,
And the sap from the pipes of Pan.

"With the powdered horn of a unicorn
You can win yourself a mate;
With the rich hobnob; or get a jobтАФ
It's yours at a lowered rate. "

"Now wait right there!" I snapped. "You mean you actu-ally sell dragon's blood and ink from
pen of Friar Bacon and all such mumbo-jum?"
He nodded rapidly and smiled all over his improbable face. I went onтАФ"The genuine article?"
He kept on nodding.
I regarded him for a moment. "You mean to stand there with your teeth in your mouth and y
bare face hanging out and tell me that in this day and age, in this city and in broad daylight, you
such trash and then expect meтАФme, an enlightened intellectualтАФ"
"You are very stupid and twice as bombastic," he said qui-etly.
I glowered at him and reached for the doorknobтАФand there I froze. And I mean froze. For
old man whipped out an ancient bulb-type atomizer and squeezed a couple of whiffs at me a
turned away; and so help me, I couldn't move! I could cuss, though, and boy, did I.
The proprietor hopped over the counter and ran over to me. He must have been standing o
box back there, for now I could see he was barely three feet tall. He grabbed my coat tails, ran
my back and slid down my arm, which was extended doorward. He sat down on my wrist
swung his feet and laughed up at me. As far as I could feel, he weighed absolutely nothing.
When I had run out of profanityтАФI pride myself on never repeating a phrase of invectiveтАФ
said, "Does that prove anything to you, my cocky and unintelligent friend? That was the essential
from the hair of the Gorgon's head. And un-til I give you an antidote, you'll stand there from n
till a week from text Nuesday!"
"Get me out of this," I roared, "or I smack you so hard you lose your brains through the po
in your feet!" He giggled.