"S. Andrew Swann - Zimmerman's Algorithm" - читать интересную книгу автора (Swann S Andrew)

No one said the words "screw up."
The first time he saw the funeral, televised live on CNN, all he could think of was that no one had
bothered to tell him that they were burying his brother, and that he wasn't there. Halfway in, the nurses
realized what was on TV and came in and shut it off. He protested, yelling until he was sedated. . .
However, the following week gave him ample opportunity to see the images of the funeral again and
again. By the day of his release he had seen his sister-in-law take the flag from Raphael's coffin about
twenty-five times on seven different networks.
The last day, he watched it again, as part of a special on the whole Daedalus disaster. The tube was
out of his nose, he had a fresh cast on his arm, and he was more lucid than he had been through most of his
stay. Which meant that there was little reprieve from the numb sense of loss he felt, staring at the screen,
at a funeral they didn't let him attend.
He watched the camera pan across the first row of the mourners. Next to Monica, Raphael's widow,
stood Alexander Lloyd, the Attorney General of the United States. He was one of a half-dozen white faces
in the crowd other than Conroy, and he looked very uncomfortable. Gideon thought he should look
uncomfortable. He was probably there to offer some gesture of apology, but Gideon thought his presence
there was in horrid taste. It gave the appearance of being some cynical attempt to reclaim the political
capital Lloyd had lost when his agents shot up Rafe.
Gideon was glad that Lloyd never got up to speak. He could tell Lloyd's presence was a strain on most
of the attendees. Gideon noticed that the Director of the Bureau, stood far away from Lloyd, and carefully
avoided referring to him, or the Secret Service, during his short eulogy.
"Damn." Gideon whispered.
As he watched the funeral, the door to his room opened.
Gideon turned, expecting to see an orderly with a wheelchair ready to take him down to a waiting taxi.
Instead, he saw Monica, his sister-in-law. He felt his breath catch and his hand shook the remote as he
tried to shut off the TV. The remote tumbled out of his hand and clattered to the wall, dangling on its cord.
Monica stood there looking at him, her expression set into a hard mask as the TV continued with Mayor
Harris' speech, "тАФa man who paid the ultimate sacrifice in the service of his fellow manтАФ"
"Oh, God," Gideon said after a moment, trying to gather his wits about him. "I'm sorry." The words
sounded so weak and lame as they fell out of his mouth. He wanted to say that he felt the loss, too, that he
mourned for his brother as she did for her husband, but he couldn't bring himself to say itтАФ
"You're sorry?" she said. She almost spit the words. "Is that it, Gideon? You're sorry?"
Gideon was at a loss. He felt himself tied up in a knot of guilt and grief that kept his voice from working
right. "I wish I could do something."
 "Like what?" Monica asked softly. She looked around the room. Her face was angry, ready to tear into
him, but her eyes were shiny with grief. She walked to a pile of cards and flowers that the staff had been
piling on a dresser opposite the door.
Gideon watched her, and felt a need to justify himself. "From people on the force, the rest is just from
people who saw me on the news."
Monica stood with her back to him. Her shoulders started shaking.
"Are you all right?" Gideon asked her.
"How dare you," Monica whispered.
Gideon sat up, but couldn't move any closer because of the cast on his leg.
"How dare you survive." She spoke so low that Gideon didn't know if he was meant to hear the words.
Even so, he could feel them rip a hole inside him. What could he do? She was right. It was his fault. He
was the one who should have died.
Monica turned around, and the hardness was back in her face, and her eyes were drier. "I came here
because I knew Rafe loved you, and I know he would wantтАФmore than anything in the worldтАФfor me to
forgive youтАФ"
"You don't have toтАФ"
"Let me get through this," she spoke through clenched teeth, harshly enough that Gideon winced. "I