"William Tenn - Lisbon Cubed" - читать интересную книгу автора (Tenn William)

"None from me," Jane Doe told it.
"Nor me," from Kelly.
"Nothing new yet," said Cohen.
The spider stretched itself luxuriously. "Same here. Nothing to report."
"Jones!" ordered the voice from the briefcase. "Get back into your uniform!"
"It's hot, chief. And we're all alone in here, sitting behind what they call a locked door. Remember,
they've got a superstition on Earth about locked doors? We don't have anything to worry about."
"I'll tell you what to worry about. You get into that uniform, Jones! Or maybe you're tired of being a
Special Emissary? Maybe you'd like to go back to General Emissary status?"
The spider stretched its legs and performed what could only be described as a shrug. Then it
backed carefully into the hole in the chest. The hole closed behind it. The body of Jones came to life and
buttoned his shirt and jacket.
"That's better," said the voice from the briefcase on Kelly's knee. "Don't ever do that again while
you're on duty."
"Okay, chief, okay. But couldn't we cool down this planet? You know, bring on winter, start a new
ice age? It would make it a lot easier to work."
"And a lot easier to be detected, stupid. You worry about the big things like con-ventions and
beauty contests. We'll worry about the little things here, in Command Central, like arbitrarily changing the
seasons and starting new ice ages. All right, Smith, how about you? What's your report?"
Alfred Smith shook the thick gathered wool out of his head, slid off the dresser, and on to his feet.
He looked around wildly.
"Re-report?" A breath. "Why, nothingтАФnothing to report."
"Took you a long time to make up your mind about it. You're not holding any-thing back, are you?
Remember, it's our job to evaluate information, not yours."
Alfred wet his lips. "N-no. I'm not holding anything back."
"You'd better not. One beauty contest you forget to tell us about and you're through, Smith. We still
haven't forgotten that boner you pulled in Zagreb."
"Oh, chief," Jane Doe intervened. "It was only a local stunt to discover who was the tallest
card-carrying Communist in Croatia. You can't blame Smith for missing that."
"We certainly can blame Smith for that. It was a beauty contest, within the definition of the term you
were given. If Cohen hadn't stumbled across a mention of it in the Kiev Pravda, all hell could have
broken loose, Remember that, Smith. And stop calling me chief, all of you. The name is Robinson.
Remember it."
They all nodded, Alfred with them. He shot a mixed look of uncertainty and grati-tude at Jane Doe.
"All right," the voice went on, somewhat mollified. "And to show you that I can hand out the boosts
as well as the knocks, I want to commend Smith on his disguise. It's a little offbeat, but it rings trueтАФand
that's the main thing. If the rest of you only spent as much time and care on your uniform, we'd be in the
home stretch in no time." The voice paused and took on an oily, heavily whimsical quality. "Before you
could say 'Jack Robinson.' "
They all laughed dutifully at that one, even Alfred.
"You think Smith did a good job on his disguise, don't you, chief, I mean, Mr. Robinson?" Jane Doe
asked eagerly, as if she wanted to underline the fact for everyone.
"I certainly do. Look at that suit, it's not just any old suit, but a tweed jacket and flannel pants. Now
that's what I call using your imagination. His chin isn't just a chin, it's a deft chin. Very good. The color of
his hairтАФfirst-rate. The only thing I might possibly object to is the bow tie. I'd say a good solid rep tie,
regular length, would be a little less chancy, a little less likely to attract attention. But it feels right, and
that's the main thingтАФthe feel of the disguise. In this business, you either have an instinct for merging with
the population of the planet, or you don't. I think Smith has it. Good work, Smith."
"Thank you," Alfred mumbled.
"All right, ohтАФer, Robinson," Mr. Jones said impatiently. "It's a good uniform-disguise. But it's not