"Sheri S. Tepper - After Long Silence" - читать интересную книгу автора (Tepper Sherri)

triumphant.

When it was over, Tasmin sat in the silence of the house for most of the night, staring at nothing.

"It wasn't you, Tassy. It wasn't your fault." Tasmin's mother wept, agonized by his guilt.

"In a way it was. If the Enigma score hadn't been at the house, she couldn't have given it to him. If he
hadn't had it, he couldn't have gone there." He reached for her hand, taking it in his, wishing she could see
him.

"Tassy, it was he who asked for it, and she who gave it. All you did was тАж " His mother stared in his
direction, intimidated by his silence.

"All I did was break a rule. Me. The one who was always telling her how important the oaths were. The
one who always talked about honor."

"What you did was make a mistake. Not a dishonorable one. You only wanted the score to study. It
was just a mistake, not a matter of honor тАж "

"Mother, it feels like a matter of honor to me. I can't explain it. I know I'm not guilty of having any evil
intent. I know I'm not guilty of anything perverse or dreadful, but I can't just let it rest. If I'd obeyed the
rules, there wouldn't have been a mistake. Celcy would be alive. And Lim."

"All right," she spat at him, her decade's old resignation giving way at last to something alive and angry.
"So you did something wrong. God forbid you should ever do anything wrong. Everyone else, but not
you. You're so much above mistakes. So damn good. And now you're going to punish me because you
made a mistake." She began to weep, tears running down her face in runnels from those wide, blind eyes.
"You're all I have left!"

"The money I got for the house will take care of you," he said at last, unable to meet her pain with
anything but this chilly comfort. "I bought a BDL annuity, and I've written to Betuny in Harmony. She sent
word by the last caravan through. She's coming from Harmony. One of the laymen from the Citadel will
look after you until she gets here."

"We never really got along."

"You will now. She's your sister, and she's very grateful to have a place since her husband died."

"She thinks I'm crazy." It was half a laugh.

"Let her think what she likes. And I won't be gone forever."

"I wish I understood why you have to go at all."

He wanted to tell her, but it would only have confused her as much as it confused him, so he said none
of the things he had been thinking for days. Instead he murmured, "I have to know why, Mother. I can't
go back to my own life until I know why. Right now all I can think of is questions with no answers.
PleaseтАФif you won't give me your blessing, at least tell me it's all right." He did not want to weep. He
had already wept enough.