"Sheri S. Tepper - The Fresco" - читать интересную книгу автора (Tepper Sherri)

despondency. The doctor prescribed antidepressants, but Carlos refused to take them.
"There's nothing wrong with me. Leave me alone.тАЭ
Two years like that. He was nineteen going on twenty when Angelica graduated, proudly presenting
her mother not only with her diploma but also a letter from a California university granting her a
scholarship! One of her teachers had applied for her, and she had saved the news for a surprise.
"I didn't want to get your hopes up, Mama. Isn't it wonderful? I've always wanted to go to California.
The scholarship won't be enough, all by itself, but I'll get a job, and maybe a student loan . . .тАЭ
That was when Benita held her close, crying happily, and told her about the secret bank account.
Don't tell Daddy, dear. You know why. But shortly thereafter, Angelica, all unthinking innocence, told
Carlos.
He was waiting for Benita when she came home from work, his nose pinched, his face haughty.
"Angelica told me you'd been saving money for us. I think I deserve half of it!"
"I saved it for my children's education," she said, her own cheeks pink with resentment at his tone.
"And if you're in college, you'll get half of it.тАЭ
"I prefer to take it in cash, now. Dad and I can use it to help start the gallery.тАЭ Haughty, that I prefer.
Arrogant.
She swallowed deeply, hating his tone, his resentments, his pomposity, hating the fact she could not
meet any of it without tears and pain. She hated the way he resented anything she did for Angelica, as
though his sister were negligible, not worth the investment. He got that from his father. Bert was big on
the worthlessness of women. The books said sibling rivalry was normal, that confrontation was an
ordinary thing, a difference of opinion, it should not hurt like this!
"The gallery plans are between you and your father, Carlito. I was never part of them, so it's up to
you and him to make those plans come true. My plan has always been for your education. The money will
be used for that only, for one or both of my children. If you don't want to go on to school, if you aren't
ready to do so, then Angelica can use the money.тАЭ
He hadn't accepted this. Carlos never accepted no. He had done what he always did: badgered her,
harassed her, talked her down, kept after her, but this time it didn't work as it always had before. There
were too many years of hard work in that bank account. Too many years of doing without and making do
and, more important, Angelica deserved the help and would damned well get it. And something else
happened she hadn't counted on ever, hadn't even conceived of. She went inside herself looking for the
love she'd always felt for both the children and wasn't able to find it for her son. He had done something
to it, or she had, or it had dried up, all on its own.
Strangely enough, throughout it all, Carlos never told Bert about the money. He was smart enough to
know that would have killed it for all of them. A month later, all his harassment unavailing, he had said he
would go to college as well, but not to the state university. He wanted to attend the school in California,
the one Angelica planned to attend. They should, he said, be treated equally.
Benita had cried, "I've always treated you equally, Carlos.тАЭ
"No, you haven't. When Angelica needed help with reading, you had her read to you while you fixed
supper. When I needed help, you had somebody at school do it!"
She stared at him, unbelieving. "Angelica was in the second grade, you were in fourth. All she
needed was practice. You had a problem with dyslexia. I can listen while someone practices, but I don't
know anything about helping dyslexia. The school had a specialist who knew all about it. Equal doesn't
mean identical! It's impossible to treat different people as though they were identical.тАЭ
Again the sulks, the depression, the endless hating silences.
Goose asked what was the matter, and she told him. "He's digging up old, silly resentments from
when he was seven or eight years old, Goose. And it's been two months. It's like breathing poison gas,
being around him. He's perfectly capable of keeping it up for months, even years, and I can't take it.тАЭ
"Well, I can't stand to see you this upset," Goose drawled in his lofty, patrician voice. "It's extremely
enervating. I've got some family contacts in California. Let me see what I can do.тАЭ
He came up with the name of a Latino foundation that provided loans, tutoring, and counseling for