"James Tiptree Jr. - Love is the Plan the Plan is Death" - читать интересную книгу автора (Tiptree James Jr)

"Frim! It's me, Moggadeet!"
But he only quivers his legs; I see his spurs pushing out. What a fool,
Frim! I remind myself how timid he is, I try to move gently. When I get closer
I'm astonished again. I'm bigger than he is now! Changes! I can see right over
his shoulder into the ravine.
Hot yellow-green in there. A little glade all lit with sun. I bend my
eyes to see what Frim is after :and all astonishments blow up the world.
I see you.
I saw you.
I will always see you. Dancing in the green fire,
my tiny red star! So bright! So small! So perfect! So
fierce! I knew you-Oh yes I knew you in that first
instant, my dawnberry, my scarlet minikin. Red! A
tiny baby red one, smaller than my smallest eye. And
so brave! -
The Old One said it. Red is the color of love.
I see you swat at a hopper twice your size, my eyes bulge as you leap
after it and go rolling, shrilling Lililee! Lilileee-ee! in baby wrath. Oh my
mighty hunter, you don't know someone is looking right into your tender little
love-fur! Oh yes! Palest pink it is, just brushed with rose. My jaws spurt,
the world flashes and reels.
And then Frim, poor fool, feels me behind him and rears up.
But what a Frim! His throat-sacs are ballooning purple-black, his plates
are engorged like the Mother of the storm-clouds! Glittering, rattling his
spurs! His tail booms! "It's mine!" he bellows-I can hardly understand him. He
jumps straight at me!
"Stop, Frim, stop!" I cry, dodging away bewildered. It's warm how can
Frim be wild, kill-wild?
"Brother Frim!" I call gently, soothingly. But something is badly wrong!
My voice is bellowing too! Yes, in the warm and I want only to calm him, I am
full of love-but the kill-roar is rushing through me, I too am swelling,
rattling, booming! Invincible! To crush-to rend
Oh, I am shamed.
I came to myself in the wreckage of Frim, Frimpieces everywhere, myself
is sodden with Frim. But I did not eat him! I did not! Should I take joy in
that? Did I defy the Plan? But my throat was closed. Not because it was Frim
but because of darling you. You! Where are you? The glade is empty! Oh fearful
fear, I have frightened you, you are run away! I forget Frim. I forget
everything but you my heartmeat, my precious tiny red.
I smash trees, I uproot rocks, I tear the ravine open! Oh, where are you
hiding? Suddenly I have a new fear: Has my wild search harmed you? I force
myself calm. I begin questing, circling, ever wider over the trees, moving
cloud-silent, thrusting my eyes and ears down into every glade. A new humming
fills my throat. Oooo, Oo-oo, Rum-a-looly-loo, I moan. Hunting, hunting for
you.
Once I glimpse a black bigness far away and I am suddenly up at my full
height, roaring. Attack the black! Was it another brother? I would slay him,
but -the stranger is already vanishing. I roar again. Noit roars me, the new
power of black. Yet deep inside, Myself-Moggadeet is watching, fearing. Attack
the black-even in the warm? Is there no safety, are we