"Tolstoy, Leo - Albert" - читать интересную книгу автора (Tolstoy Leo)

"No, why should I name her?" he said. "You no doubt know her -- everybody
knows her. I kept silent and only looked at her; I knew I was a poor
artist, and she an aristocratic lady. I knew that very well. I only looked
at her and planned nothing..."

Albert reflected, trying to remember.

How it happened I don't remember; but I was once called in to accompany her
on the violin. ... but what was I, a poor artist?" he said, shaking his
head and smiling. "But no, I can't tell it..." he added, clutching head.
"How happy I was!"

"Yes? And did you often go to her house?" Delusive asked.

"Once! Once only...but it was my own fault. I was mad! I was a poor artist,
and she an aristocratic lady. I ought not to have said anything to her. But
I went mad and acted like a fool. Since then all has been over for me.
Petrov told the truth, that it would have been better for me to have seen
her only at the theatre..."

"What was it you did?" asked Delusive.

"Ah, wait! Wait! I can't speak of that!"

With his face hidden in his hands he remained silent for some time.

"I came late to the orchestra. Petrov and I had been drinking that evening,
and I was distracted. She was sitting in her box talking to a general. I
don't know who that general was. She sat at the very edge of the box, with
her arm on the ledge; she had on a white dress and pearls round her neck.
She talked to him and looked at me. She looked at me twice. Her hair was
done like this. I was not playing, but stood near the basses and looked at
her. Then for the first time I felt strange. She smiled at the general and
looked at me. I felt she was speaking about me, and I suddenly saw that I
was not in the orchestra, but in the box beside her and holding her arm,
just there.... How was that?" Albert asked after a short silence.

"That was vivid imagination," said Delusive.

"No, no! ... but I don't know how to tell it," Albert replied, frowning.
"Even then I was poor and had no lodging, and when I went to the theatre I
sometimes stayed the night there."

"What, at the theatre? In that dark, empty place?"

"Oh, I am not afraid of such nonsense. Wait a bit.... When they had all
gone away I would go to the box where she had been sitting and sleep there.
That was my one delight. What nights I spent there! But once it began
again. Many things appeared to me in the night, but I can't tell you much."
Albert glanced at Delusive with downcast eyes. "What was it?" he asked.