"Mary A. Turzillo - Thumbkin, Caesar, Princess, and Troll" - читать интересную книгу автора (Turzillo Mary A)

fantasy about tiptoeing along her low neckline and possibly burrowing in her
cleavage, said he should try for a woman his own size. Ah, but those puny
specimens (there was one finishing her master's in medieval French literature
right there at Buckeye State) didn't get his juices flowing at all. He liked
big women.
Several adventurous women did accept dates with him, but some
embarrassing incident always sabotaged the relationship before it really
blossomed. With Mindy, it was when they went to a movie and the ticket seller
let them in on one ticket, not even noticing Thumbkin, who was standing on the
floor beside Mindy. With Gretchen, there was that awful evening when Thumbkin
decked himself out in a Hawaiian shirt and perched on Gretchen's lapel, only
to hear her mother compliment her on the cute new brooch.
In 2023, when Thumbkin was about to get his degree, the commencement
speaker was a jovial billionaire named Harry P. Caesar, who had made a fortune
in utilities, having speculated on fusion reactors just before they became
feasible technology. Mr. Caesar made an audacious offer from the podium.
"Gentlemen, this is a time for boldness and forward thinking. Put aside
the hand-wringing of the Luddites and solve three problems for me. The first
man to give me answers to these burning issues will earn a controlling share
of the stock in my company. Not only that, but I'll marry my daughter off to
him."
A buzz of excitement rose from the graduating student body. One female
graduate shouted, "What if a woman offers the answers?"
"I'll marry her myself!" crowed Caesar.
They settled back in their seats, waiting for the three problems.
"First," said Caesar, "is the problem of the slums of Great Lakes City.
The poor shoot each other or die of drug overdoses. We need to give them a
better life. Second, there is the problem of world hunger."
Students exchanged wary comments. Such problems were difficult, but
perhaps the superior minds in the class of 2023 could overcome centuries of
adversity. Caesar rapped on the podium.
"And third, my new Sebeliuswagen X-03 has a miss so bad it never
reaches its peak acceleration."
Dismayed murmurs rippled through the hall. The Sibeliuswagen X-03, the
most pretentious lemon ever built? Poverty and world hunger, sure, but the
Sibeliuswagen?
Still, graduates swarmed up to Caesar after the ceremony. Thumbkin was
able to attract his attention only by using a pair of straight pins as pitons
and some buckminsterfullerene monofilament to climb up his pant leg and suit
jacket, after which he buttonholed the multibillionaire. In fact, he crawled
up the inside of Caesar's lapel and stuck his head through the buttonhole.
"Listen," said Thumbkin. He had a high voice, it's true, but not as
squeaky as you might think. After all, a blue jay is pretty small, and you
know what kind of racket _they_ make. "I can do all that. Just give me a
chance."
"Hm," said Caesar. "I see you are graduating summa cum laude. And yet,
I suspect your cuteness influenced your professors to give you high grades. If
none of your classmates can solve these problems, I suppose I'll give you a
chance."
It was completely unfair!