"Lisa Tuttle & Steven Utley - In the Hole" - читать интересную книгу автора (Tuttle Lisa)

abject misery, before, finally, achieving a sad acceptance of the truth.
 тАЬTerrible things,тАЭ she said softly. тАЬWhile the war was going on over
thereтАФyour warтАФawful things happened here, too. But thatтАЩs all past now.тАЭ

тАЬWhat happened?тАЭ

тАЬThereтАЩs no point talking about it.тАЭ Her voice grew stronger. тАЬItтАЩs wrong
to brood on what we canтАЩt changeтАФitтАЩs harmful. It only makes things worse.
You should just remember the good things. ThatтАЩs what I do. And look what
happened! You came back. And now we can have the rest of our lives
together.тАЭ

тАЬBut, CaraтАФтАЭ

тАЬHeath!тАЭ

And so he let it pass.

That night, their second together, she kissed him determinedly,
almost savagely, and ground herself against him, forcing him to respond. It
was what he had thought he wanted from her, this passionate attack, and
finally it did arouse him. He managed to sustain an erection long enough to
enter her and move himself to a mechanical climax.

She clung to him afterward, refused to let him move off her while,
within her, he went soft and shrank and crept away, it occurred to him, as
though in disgrace. He supported himself on his elbows and lowered his
head to blow a cool stream of air into the hollow between her sweat-slicked
breasts. She murmured with pleasure. It was, he thought, the single honest
moment of the evening. When she spoke, Heath cringed at the sheer inane
repetition of avowals of love even as he found himself helpless to respond
otherwise. He could think of nothing meaningful to say, and as Cara, with
excruciating forced brightness, began to speak of their wonderful, shared
future, he reflected bleakly that though now neither of them was, technically,
a virgin, nothing fundamental had changed. He suspected that, for all her
hopeful, loving words, Cara found him no more satisfactory a lover than he
found her.

Lying next to her, half-listening as she spoke of destinies entwined,
lives inextricably bound together by love, he felt shamed by his
estrangement from this girl whom he had loved in solitude for so long.

When she paused, waiting for his answer to some question he had
not heard, he said, painfully, the words bruising his throat and bringing tears
to his eyes, тАЬCara, this doesnтАЩtтАФnone of this seems real. I feel likeтАФI feel
like a ghost in my own life.тАЭ

After a long momentтАЩs consideration, she asked, тАЬHow does a ghost
feel?тАЭ