"Lisa Tuttle & Steven Utley - In the Hole" - читать интересную книгу автора (Tuttle Lisa)

of the houses had never been sold, and the neighborhood, once desirable,
had quickly gone downhill; the house next door was an abandoned wreck.
But CaraтАЩs father, a proud and careful homeowner even in times of tight
money, insisted on mowing the grass once a week, planting flowers and
shrubs, keeping the gutters cleared and the trim of the house painted a
cheerful yellow. Now, when Heath saw the peeling paint, the sagging
gutters and flowerbeds full of weeds, he knew the old man must be dead.

He stood before the house where Cara had livedтАФwhere he knew
she still livedтАФhis heart racing, his mouth very dry. They had been virgins in
those days and, without a car or a place of their own, lacked privacy in
which to consummate their love. They walked everywhere together, holding
hands, leaning close as they talkedтАФand talked, and talked. They shared
everything in words, all the secrets of their hearts, even a few tentative
sexual fantasies. They hugged and kissed often, but beyond that,
nothingтАФexcept once.
 Once, and once only, they found themselves alone together in CaraтАЩs
house, her father having driven her mother to the city to see a specialist at a
hospital there; they were to have dinner before returning, so were certain to
be out until very late.

Without a word about intention, in silent accord, Heath and Cara
walked home from school that day and let themselves in, went straight to
her sunny bedroom, undressed, lay down on her big, soft bed and thenтАФ

Somehow, despite their best hopes and efforts, despite their love, it
all went wrong.

He was clumsy, she was frightened, they were both embarrassed and
shy with each other, and, finally, virgins still, they clung together, whispering
hopeful promises, ItтАЩll be okay, next time, another time ... not realizing they
had missed their one and only chance.

Heath shuddered, ashamed of his ignorant, innocent younger self,
wishing he had been bolder. He would never have forced himself on her, of
course, but with a little more experience, he might have aroused her,
relaxed her enough to make intercourse possible. Only later had he learned
from other soldiers in his unit, and from magazines and videos, of the
things women supposedly liked, tricks to make them тАЬhot and horny.тАЭ

He stood before CaraтАЩs house, aware of the heat in his cheeks and a
crawling in his belly, and he almost turned away. What right did he have to
presume? He belonged to the past, whereas she had gone on and grown
up. She must have found another, bolder lover by now. Unlike him, she
would not still be a virgin.

Then he reminded himself: Come back to me, she had written. He
had not imagined that, she really wrote those words, and whatever else
might be true, she remembered, she still wanted him.