"Lisa Tuttle - Jamie's Grave" - читать интересную книгу автора (Tuttle Lisa)

тАЬItтАЩs natural. Look, he probably saw something on television, or heard something at schoolтАжтАЭ

тАЬWhen I was little, I was afraid of dead things,тАЭ Mary said.

тАЬYou think thatтАЩs healthier? What do you want me to say, Mary? ItтАЩll pass, this craze. HeтАЩll forget about
it and go on to something else. If you make a big deal about it, heтАЩll keep on, to get a reaction. DonтАЩt
make him think itтАЩs wrong. Want me to come over tomorrow and take him out somewhere? ThatтАЩs the
quickest way to get his mind on to other things.тАЭ
Mary thought of how empty the house was when her son was gone. At least now, although he was
preoccupied, she was aware of his presence nearby. And, as usual, she reacted against her ex-husband.
She was shaking her head before he had even finished speaking.

тАЬNo, not tomorrow. I had plans for tomorrow. IтАФ*тАШ

тАЬNext weekend. He could come here, spend the nightтАФтАЭ

тАЬOh, Clive, heтАЩs so young!тАЭ

тАЬMary, you canтАЩt have it both ways. HeтАЩs my son, too. You canтАЩt complain that I take no interest and
leave it all to you, and then refuse to let me see him. I do miss him, you know.тАЭ

тАЬAll right, next weekend. But just one day, not overnight. Please. HeтАЩs all I have. When heтАЩs not here I
miss him dreadfully.тАЭ

==========

Mary stood by the window watching Jamie dig his grave, and she missed him. She could see him, and
she knew that if she rapped on the glass he would look up and see her, but that wasnтАЩt enough; it would
never be enough. Once, she had been the whole world to him. Now, every day took him farther from
her.

She thought of Heather, JenтАЩs little baby. She thought of the solid weight of her in her arms, and that
delicious, warm, milky smell of new babies. She remembered how it had felt to hold her, and how she
had felt when she had to give her back. She remembered watching Jen nurse her child. The envy which
had pierced her. The longing. It wasnтАЩt JenтАЩs feelings which made Mary reluctant now to visit her but her
own jealousy. She wanted a baby.

She went on standing by the window for nearly an hour, holding herself and grieving for the child she
didnтАЩt have, while Jamie dug a grave.

For lunch Mary made cauliflower soup and toasted cheese sandwiches. Ignoring his protests that he
could wash his own hands, she marched Jamie to the bathroom and scrubbed and scrubbed until all the
soil beneath his fingernails was gone.

Twenty minutes later, a soup moustache above his upper lip, Jamie said, тАЬI got to go back to my
digging.тАЭ

Inside, she cried a protest, but she remembered CliveтАЩs words. Maybe he did want a reaction from her.
Maybe he would be less inclined to dig a grave if his mother seemed to favour it. So, with a false, bright
smile she cheered him on, helped him back into his filthy pullover and wellies, and waved vigorously from