"Rajnar Vajra - Afterburn" - читать интересную книгу автора (Vajra Rajnar)

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Afterburn
by Rajnar Vajra
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Copyright (c)2003 by Rajnar Vajra
First published in Analog, January 2003

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Science Fiction


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Paul
I jump into a small black boat. Perhaps it's made of wood. I can't tell
if I'm sitting or standing. I see no oars. The boat autonomously leaves its
dock and floats away on the grim turquoise river, following some dark agenda
rather than any natural current. I am bone marrow weary but it could be
suicidal to relax. There may be enemies nearby. I don't see any, but that
doesn't mean a thing.
I am too exposed now, too far from the sandy riverbanks, gliding though
this underground purgatory lit only by Ferrari-size torches that burn red,
blue, or green. I need those torches, but God, how I hate them! Drusy
stalactites catch their light, blend it, and hurl it into my face like a
mortal insult from rainbows. My sore eyes are constantly whipped with glints
and streaks. And in this place, above all, I need good vision.
I admit that these endless caves are impressive. Tall enough for clouds
to form and rain or snow to fall. Right now, the stony skies are clear but
that could change in an instant. Everything can change in an instant.
The boat lacks a tiller, but I get a sudden sense that my right hand is
gripping something invisible that provides me a measure of directional
control, something alien to this world but obscurely related to it. I've had
this sensation before, always mingled with irrational bittersweet nostalgia.
But as a rule, I can't feel my hands. So I can't explain how one fearsome
weapon or another so consistently hovers nearby, ready for another desperate
use, as if I were holding it in front of me. And I can't explain how I manage
to change weapons at will, or aim and fire them.
Very rarely, the entire world unaccountably _thins_ and I can dimly see
my arms. That is, I think they are mine. Those are terrible moments because
there is something terribly wrong with those arms. And when I glimpse my hands
or seem to glimpse them, I dare not count fingers because so many are missing.