"Ian Watson - Lambert, Lambert" - читать интересную книгу автора (Watson Ian)

the river Soar тАФ he could float with two grown men on his back. Never caught a
cold in his life, even when he used to come in soaking wet and sleep with his
window open then don the same damp clothes in the morning. He never snored.
Never panted. Perfect bronchials. His voice was a sweet, strong tenor.

IтАЩm a lot like our Dan Lambert with regard to health and vigour. Additionally,
he was a very nice bloke. So am I тАФ as you must agree тАФ saving you from slow
starvation! Really considerate to the guests in his lock-up, he was. Humane?
Benevolent? Why, he was a byword. Departing prisoners sometimes wept with
gratitude.

But in 1805 the magistrates decided that such prisoners as those would be
better employed labouring in the townтАЩs factories. So DanielтАЩs job came to an end;
though not without an annuity of fifty pounds a year for life for him, freely granted
as a mark of esteem.

Alas, fifty pounds proved insufficient to his needs. ThatтАЩs why our
man-mountain began to exhibit himself to the curious. Either that, or hide in his
house! Such was the fame of his bulk, peo-ple would knock on the door on any
pretext.

In the main, the exhibiting down in London went off really well, since our Dan
was such a damn decent fellow. More like a king of men hold-ing gracious court
than a freak. Thus there was nothing ludicrous about the occasion when the largest
man in the world met the smallest man тАФ a Polish dwarf named Count Borulawski,
whose missus used to pop him on the mantelshelf as a punishment when she was
feeling peeved with him. A single one of DanтАЩs sleevesтАЩ could easily have provided a
whole suit of clothes for the Count. This was a meeting of two civilized prodi-gies.
Ah, civilizationтАЩs taken a downturn since those days, hasnтАЩt it just?

DanтАЩs head was perfectly proportioned, by the way. No bloating or grossness
about his face! A normal, handsome head was simply dwarfed by a giant body.
 Do I hear you enquire as to his diet? Simplicity itself! Quite Spartan. A single
dish at a meal, and he only ever drank water. A little like the menu in the camps.

I can tell you, how little he ate came as a revela-tion to me. Did he convert the
whole of his modest intake of food into flesh, a hundred per cent? DidnтАЩt he ever
crap or pee? Seems as how all of his bodily secretions were quite normal! So where
did all of his bulk come from? Out of thin air?

YouтАЩve heard the old saying as to how inside every fat man thereтАЩs a thin man
crying to get out. Do I hear you crying right now? DonтАЩt bother. Wipe your sobs
away. Adjust to circumstances, thatтАЩs the ticket.

LetтАЩs put two and two together tentatively. Soon as our Dan becomes boss
of the gaol he puts on stones and stones of extra weight without any evidence of
gluttony. And he liked his prisoners; he was good to them.

Could he have been so kindly disposed that he liberated his favourites тАФ by
engulfing them? By absorbing them into himself? Now thereтАЩs a fine way to solve