"Stanley G. Weinbaum - The Worlds of If" - читать интересную книгу автора (Weinbaum Stanley G)

"Well?" he asked.

I shuddered. "Horrible!" I murmured. "WeтАФI guess we wouldn't have been among the survivors."

"We, eh? We?" His eyes twinkled.

I did not enlighten him.

I thanked him, bade him good-night and went dolorously home.


Even my father noticed something queer about me. The day I got to the office only five minutes late, he
called me in for some anxious questioning as to my health. I couldn't tell him anything, of course. How
could I explain that I'd been late once too often, and had fallen in love with a girl two weeks after she
was dead?

The thought drove me nearly crazy. Joanna! Joanna with her silvery eyes now lay somewhere at the
bottom of the Atlantic. I went around half dazed, scarcely speaking. One night I actually lacked the
energy to go home and sat smoking in my father's big overstuffed chair in his private office until I finally
dozed off. The next morning, when old N. J. entered and found me there before him, he turned pale as
paper, staggered, and gasped, "My heart!" It took a lot of explaining to convince him that I wasn't early
at the office but just very late going home.

At last I felt that I couldn't stand it. I had to do somethingтАФanything at all. I thought finally of the
subjunctivisor. I could seeтАФyes, I could see what would have transpired if the ship hadn't been
wrecked! I could trace out that weird, unreal romance hidden somewhere in the worlds of "if." I could,
perhaps, wring a somber, vicarious joy from the things that might have been. I could see Joanna once
more!

It was late afternoon when I rushed over to van Manderpootz's quarters. He wasn't there; I encountered
him finally in the hall of the Physics Building.

"Dick!" he exclaimed. "Are you sick?"
"Sick? No, not physically. Professor, I've got to use your subjunctivisor again. I've got to!"

"Eh? OhтАФthat toy. You're too late, Dick. I've dismantled it. I have a better use for the space."

I gave a miserable groan and was tempted to damn the autobiography of the great van Manderpootz. A
gleam of sympathy showed in his eyes, and he took my arm, dragging me into the little office adjoining his
laboratory.

"Tell me," he commanded.

I did. I guess I made the tragedy plain enough, for his heavy brows knit in a frown of pity. "Not even van
Manderpootz can bring back the dead," he murmured. "I'm sorry, Dick. Take your mind from the affair.
Even were my subjunctivisor available, I wouldn't permit you to use it. That would be but to turn the knife
in the wound." He paused. "Find something else to occupy your mind. Do as van Manderpootz does.
Find forgetfulness in work."