"Donald Westlake - SH1 - Don't You Know There's A War On" - читать интересную книгу автора (Westlake Donald E)

"I'm sure, Captain," Billy said.

So the captain pushed the button, the door opened and Billy marched out onto the platform with the
white flag high and the loud-speaker microphone to his mouth: "People of-" his voice boomed out over
the valley, and a cannon ball ripped through the white flag to carom off the silver hull.

Billy gaped at the hole in the flag. "Gee whizz," his amplified voice told the sunny day. "Don't you guys
believe in a flag of truce?"
"That ain't no flag of truce!" a voice yelled from upslope. "It's white!"

"Well, what color do you want?"

"Yellow! The color of cowards!"

"Wait right there," Billy told the two encircling armies and went back into the ship. Carom! went a
cannon ball in farewell.



"After dark," Supreme Commander Krraich said, "we'll deploy a patrol to sneak up on the thing and set
fire to it."

"I suspect, sir," said an aide carefully (Krraich was known to dislike correction), "the thing is made of
metal."

Krraich glowered. Sneaking up on things and setting fire to them was one of his favorite sports. "It's a
fort, isn't it?" he demanded. "Could be just shiny paint."

"Sir, uh, cannon balls bounce off."

"Doesn't mean it's metal. Could be rubber."

"Rubber won't burn, sir."

Krraich turned his gaze full upon this pestiferous aide, whose name was Major Invercairnochinchlie. In
the bloodshot eye of his mind, Krraich watched Major Invercairnochinchlie burn to the ground - kilt,
sporran, gnarled pipe, tam and all. "What do you suggest, Major?"

Invercairnochinchlie swallowed. "Acid, sir?"

The other aides, also in formal officers' kilts, all snickered and shifted their feet, like a corralful of
miniskirted horses; aides liked to see other aides in trouble. But then, Krraich's least favorite and most
intelligent aide (the two facts were not unconnected), a colonel named Alderpee, said, "Sir, if I may make
a suggestion?"

"You always do," Krraich said, irritated because the suggestions were usually good.

"That thing out there is a fort," Aldepee said. "A traveling fort. Think how we could use such a thing."

Krrairh had no imagination. "Your suggestion?"