"Leslie What - Clinging to a Thread" - читать интересную книгу автора (What Leslie)

the house feeling foolish for having spent good money on such garbage; I had yet to
do my shopping and now had only a few dollars left. I went to the grocery and
bought what I could тАФ a carrot, an onion, celery, and a day-old loaf of bread.

I was exhausted by the time I returned home, though I knew I had done
nothing to deserve such fatigue. I could not stop yawning as I measured out a pot of
coffee. I buried the stockings in the back yard, then chopped vegetables to start the
soup, but weariness soon overcame me. Telling myself it was just for a minute, until
the coffee brewed, I sat on the couch and fell asleep.

I see a soldier cloaked inside a dark brown haze. He watches the girl at play
with her toy dog. His eyes open wide. тАЬIтАЩll have that,тАЭ he says, and laughs as the
child cries when he takes her toy.

тАЬThe dead do not need playthings,тАЭ the soldier says. тАЬMy daughter will use
this better.тАЭ

I follow him into haze. When I come out on the other side, I am in the next
day. I look around until I spot the limp gray dog lying in a rubbish bin. Its stuffing is
torn out, and a button eye dangles from the painted socket.

тАЬI donтАЩt want it,тАЭ someone screams from inside a house. тАЬIt smells like a
Jew.тАЭ

I pick up the stuffing and fabric, and run backward through my dream to find
the child. I am desperate to give her something, anything, but though I hold what
remains of her childhood, the girl is now nowhere to be found.

I opened my eyes and got up to check the coffee. It was bitter and needed
nearly a quarter cup of milk to lighten it to my taste. The pot had bubbled over on
the stove. The soup was darkтАФ the vegetables cooked to pulp. Still, when we sat
down for dinner, I was consumed with such a hunger that I felt as if I had not eaten
in a week. I picked up the bowl, and downed the soup in several gulps. And then,
feeling possessed, I licked the bowl clean.

David began to laugh. тАЬLook at Mommy! SheтАЩs so silly.тАЭ

The telephone rang and I stood to answer it. Sarah was on the other end.

тАЬCome quickly. Right away,тАЭ she said. тАЬMother has had another stroke.тАЭ

Ruth had been moved to a different room. I was directed to the end of a long
hallway. Nervous, I walked quickly, and pretended not to notice the old man who
clutched the rail along the wall and asked for help as I passed him.

Sarah was crying. I held out the basket I had hastily prepared, and she took an
apple without paying me the least bit of attention. Then I looked at my mother,
shocked to see her propped up in a chair, her hair dirty, something white around her
mouth.