"What-Compatibility" - читать интересную книгу автора (What Leslie)

"Funny the doctors didn't tell you."

"Oh, they might have, but I wasn't paying attention. Too much else on my mind."

"Thought your husband would explain it, later?" He took a step backward,
probably worried that he'd upset me.

"Something like it," I said.

"We sell a lot of these units to the wives," he said, nodding his head in
sympathy. He sat to open a file. "Didn't catch your first name."

"Mrs.," I said. I gave him my credit card, then left for home.

There was work to be done before I could link up. I ironed The Suit; set the VCR
to record Arsenio; left a message on the elves' com-line, reminding them to
complete their orders by midnight; programmed the oven to convect for thirty
minutes, then switch to microwave until the cheese melted. I opened a dark
Cabernet to let it breathe, and set the table.

I unpacked the computer, plugged the trodes into my temples, and linked. The
next thing I knew I was sitting in a small room in front of a shiny metal door
marked Enter Net. My legs were unnaturally bent in the lotus position.

"Greetings," said the humanoid tech projected onto the door. "I'm your
MacOuterface Lifestyle System-38." His white coat stopped mid-thigh and he stood
with his left hip thrust forward. He held a plastic comb in one hand, his chin
in the other, shears dangling from his pinkie. "What can we do with you, today?"
he asked.

"I'm not sure," I said. "It's just that my husband doesn't notice me anymore."

"Well, well, well," he said. "I think we can make you more presentable."

He scanned my face and wagged his index finger. "There's nothing to be done with
these wrinkles, but we could do something with the gray," he said.

I noticed my reflection in the metal door. Suddenly, green fluorescent lightning
bolts surged around my head.

"I was thinking more traditional," I said.

"I doubt traditional will cut it. How about this?" He gave me green horns,
tomato worms gored on the ends. "And this .... "He made my teeth jagged, gray as
boiled chicken bones, then turned my face into inside-out cellulite, for laughs.
"I think he'll notice you now. Anything else I can do you for?" he said.

I considered my options momentarily before blurting out, "I don't know how to
get inside the Net."