"Kate Wilhelm - Deepest Water" - читать интересную книгу автора (Wilhelm Kate)

almost pleadingly that she didnтАЩt have to go back to Seattle yet if Abby wanted her to stay on a few
days.

Abby shook her head. тАЬThereтАЩs no point. In the morning the police are coming to ask more questions,
and in the afternoon Christina Maas is coming. There are things we have to talk about. ThatтАЩs how itтАЩs
going to be for a while.тАЭ Her voice sounded strange, as if muffled by layers of cotton.

Lynne looked at Brice, and he shrugged helplessly. тАЬItтАЩs been a tough few days,тАЭ he said. тАЬWeтАЩll be okay
after weтАЩve had a little rest. IтАЩll take you to the airport in the morning.тАЭ

Her mother was going to cry again, Abby thought guiltily, and she still didnтАЩt know why, and couldnтАЩt
ask. Not now. And BriceтАжShe knew she was shutting him out exactly the way she was closing out
everyone else, and she knew it was unfair, even cruel, but she couldnтАЩt help that, either. He wanted to
hold her, to comfort her, to wait on her, do whatever he could, and she was like a stick in his arms.
Silently she began to gather plates, cups, and saucersтАж Her friends Jonelle and Francesca had brought
food, she remembered; it all looked strange and unfamiliar.

тАЬHoney, please, go take a long bath, try to relax,тАЭ Brice said. тАЬWeтАЩll take care of this.тАЭ

With the unquestioning obedience of a good child, she left the room to go take a long bath. She could
hear their voices as she went up the stairs; talking about her, the state she was in, she thought distantly.
The house was usually spacious feeling, with three bedrooms, two baths, stairs with a plush, pale green
carpet, a nice Aubusson rug in the living room, a carpet in the den, drapes throughout; room enough, with
sound-deadening furnishings, so that voices carried no farther than from one room to another, yet she
imagined she could hear them all the way up the stairs, through the hallway, the bedroom, on into the
bathroom, even after she turned on the water. She went back to the bedroom for her gown and robe,
and came to a stop holding them.

The voices were not her motherтАЩs and BriceтАЩs, she realized, but her motherтАЩs and her fatherтАЩs, or her
fatherтАЩs voice talking to her, telling her something important. ThatтАЩs what he would say: тАЬThis is important,
listen up now.тАЭ

She took a step and staggered, and only then recognized her fatigue, that she was reeling, maybe even
hallucinating from sleeplessness. Tonight, she told herself, tonight she would take one of the pills her
doctor had prescribed. She would give herself half an hour and if by then she was still wide awake, she
would take a pill. Dimly she remembered that she had made the same promise the previous night, but
instead had sat huddled in a blanket on the couch in the dark living room, dreading today, the relatives,
the memorial service, remembering Jud, denying his death, willing him not to be dead, willing it not to
have happened, afraid of the pill that promised sleep, because it seemed to offer a kind of death to her.

***

Later, while Brice was getting ready for bed, Abby went to tell her mother good night, to thank her for
coming. She felt awkward, as if in the presence of an acquaintance, not her mother.

Lynne was in the guest room, the room Abby called her study. She stood in the middle of the room,
wearing her robe, holding the dress she had worn earlier, and for a moment they simply regarded each
other. Then Lynne dropped the dress and took Abby in her arms. тАЬI wanted to be with you,тАЭ she said
softly, тАЬbut I didnтАЩt know what to say, how to act with you. Abby, baby, please say something, talk to
me. Yell at me. Anything!тАЭ