"Destroyer 011 - Kill or Cure (v.1, htm)" - читать интересную книгу автора (Williams Remo)Richard
Sapir and Warren Murphy The
Destroyer: Kill or Cure With the
exception of the House of Sinanju, any resemblance between characters
and events and any persons living or dead is purely coincidental. CHAPTER
ONE JAMES
BULLESTGSWORTH had entertained few original thoughts in his life, but
his last one was good enough to get him an ice pick in his brain,
send a multitude of government agents fleeing to obscure outposts,
and leave the president of the United States gasping: ‘Why do
these things always have to happen to me?’ This
particular doozy of an idea came to James Bullingsworth one morning
in late spring while doing volunteer work for the Greater Florida
Betterment League where he had been volunteering nine to five, Monday
through Friday, for the last two years. That Bullingsworth tended not
to probe too deeply into the reasons of things was why he got the
job, and before he started thinking new things, he should have
remembered how he had volunteered. The volunteer
ceremony had been brief. The president of the bank where
Bullingsworth worked had called him into his office. ‘Bullingsworth,
what do you think of improving the government of the greater Miami
area?’ the president had asked. Bullingsworth
had thought improvement was a good idea. ‘Bullingsworth,
how would you like to volunteer your time and effort to the Greater
Florida Betterment League?’ Bullingsworth
would like to do that, but it might interfere with his career at the
bank. ‘Bullingsworth,
that is your career at the bank.’ So James
Bullingsworth, who was known to mind his own business, went to work
for the League while he drew his paychecks from the bank. He should
have remembered the strangeness of his appointment that spring
morning when he noticed a computer printout was incomplete. He said to
his secretary, a young Cuban woman with very high breasts: ‘Miss
Carbonal, this computer printout is incomplete. There are great gaps
in it. It’s just a bunch of random letters. We can’t
forward it in this condition.’ Miss Carbonal
picked up the greenish printout and stared at it. Bullingsworth
stared at her left breast. She was wearing the see-through bra again. ‘We
always send it out like this,’ said Miss Carbonal. ‘What?’
said Bullingsworth. ‘We
been sending out printouts like this for two years now. When we mail
to the Kansas City office, it’s always like this. I speak to
the other girls at other Betterment League offices all around the
country and they say the same. At Kansas City, they must be some
crazy people, yes?’ ‘Let me
see that breast,’ said Bullingsworth, with authority. .
‘What?’
said Miss Carbonal. "The
printout,’ said Bullingsworth, covering up his slip quickly.
‘Let me see it.’ He busied himself in the random letters
with the big gaps. ‘Hmmmmmm,’ said James Bullingsworth,
former assistant vice-president of one of the larger banks in the
greater Miami area. The idea was born. ‘Miss
Carbonal, I want you to get me all the printouts shipped from our
office to Kansas City.’ ‘What
you want that for?’ ‘Miss
Carbonal, I gave you an instruction.’ ‘You be
in plenty trouble, asking questions. You want to look at those
printouts, you go yourself.’ ‘Are
you refusing a direct order, Miss Carbonal?’ ‘You
betcha, Mr. Bullingsworth,’ ‘That’s
all I wanted to hear,’ said Bullingsworth menacingly. ‘You
may leave.’ Miss Carbonal
fluffed out undisturbed. A half-hour later as Bullingsworth left for
lunch, she called to him: ‘Mr.
Bullingsworth, don’t go rocking the boat. You got good money.;
I got good money. We don’t ask questions. What do you want?’ Bullingsworth
approached her desk with great gravity. ‘Miss
Carbonal,’ he said. ‘There are ways to do things. Proper,
businesslike, thorough ways to do things. There are American ways to
do things and that means knowing what you’re doing and not just
dumbly - animal-like -sending off garbled printouts for two years. It
means, Miss Carbonal, understanding what you are doing.’ ‘You’re
a nice man, Mr. Bullingsworth. Take my word for it. Don’t go
rocking the boat. Okay?’ ‘No,’
said Bullingsworth. ‘You
can’t get those other printouts anyway. Henrietta Alvarez is
the girl who does them. She feeds them into the computer, checks the
printout to make sure it’s accurate and then destroys it.
That’s what she was told to do. And she was told to report
anyone asking questions about the printouts.’ ‘You
don’t understand Yankee pluck, Miss Carbonal.’ James
Bullingsworth exercised Yankee pluck that night after all the other
League employees had left the office. He broke into the locked desk
of Henrietta Alvarez and, as he had suspected, found inside a
foot-high compression of light-green printouts. Amused at his
secretary’s apprehension, Bullingsworth took the thick pile of
printouts into his office for inspection. His confidence soared as he
read the first line of each printout. They
obviously were in code and he, James Bullingsworth, would break that
code for his amusement. He needed a diversion, in a job that occupied
only two hours of each working day. Incredible that anyone could
think such a thing could escape his notice for long, he thought. Were
they fools at the National Betterment League’s headquarters in
Kansas City? The code
proved to be quite simple, almost like a crossword puzzle. Putting a
week’s printouts together at once, the gaps on the lines were
filled. The only question was which order the letters must be read
in. ‘Tragf
pu,’ scribbled Bullingsworth, and with that he rearranged the
sheets again. ‘Fargt up,’ and he rearranged them again. ‘Graft
up,’ wrote Bullingsworth. Without rearranging the computer
printouts again, he began to copy down the contents of the sheets. He
worked all night long. When he was finished, he scrambled the sheets
and read his handiwork.; ‘Jeeezus
H. Christ,’ he whistled. He looked through the glass door
connecting his office with outside, saw Miss Carbonal arriving for
work, and waved her to come inside. ‘Carmen,
Carmen. Look at this. Look at what I figured out,’
Carmen
Carbonal stuck her fingers in her ears and rushed from the office.
‘Don’t tell me nothing,’ she yelled. He followed
her to her desk. ‘Hey, don’t be afraid,’ he said. ‘You
muy stupidp,’ she said. ‘You big, stupid man. Burn
that stuff. Burn that stuff.’ ‘Aren’t
you interested in what we’re really doing?’ ‘No,’
she cried, sobbing. ‘I don’t want to know. And you
shouldn’t want to know either. You so dumb. Dumb.’ ‘Oh,
Carmen,’ said Bullingsworth, placing a comforting arm around
her heaving shoulder. ‘I’m sorry. If it’ll make you
feel better, I’ll burn everything.’ ‘Too
late,’ she said. ‘Too late.’ ‘It’s
not too late,’ he said. ‘I’ll burn it now." ‘Too
late.’ With great
fanfare, Bullingsworth brought all the copies of the printouts to the
private bathroom in his office and burned them, creating lung-choking
smoke. ‘Now
are you happy?’ he asked Miss Carbonal. ‘Too
late,’ she said, still weeping.; ‘I
burned everything,’ he smiled. But
Bullingsworth had not burned everything. He had saved his notes,
which, among other things, told him why his bank was willing to pay
him a salary for volunteer work with the Greater Florida Betterment
League. It also told him why so many Florida officials had suddenly
been so successfully indicted for kickbacks and extortion. It even
gave him a hint as to how the upcoming local elections would come
out, and why.: Bullingsworth
suddenly felt very proud of his country, secure knowing that America
was doing more to fight the disintegration of the nation than met the
eye. Much more. Only one
thing in the notes bothered him. That was the section on proposed pay
raises for approval by Folcroft’, whatever or whoever Folcroft’
was. Everyone at
his level in the League was getting a 14 percent raise and his was a
non-inflationary 2.5 percent. He decided he wasn’t going to let
it bother him, because he shouldn’t have been aware of the
injustice anyway. He would put it out of his mind. And if he had done
this thing as he had planned, he would have lived to collect his
non-inflationary 2.5 percent pay raise. But his
resolve disappeared later that day when he met the President of the
Greater Miami Trust and Investment Company and wondered why he had
received only a 2.5 percent raise. The president, who considered
himself an expert in industrial and human relations, told
Bullingsworth he was sorry but no one on loan to the Betterment
League was getting more than 2.5 percent. ‘Are
you sure?’ said Bullingsworth. ‘I give
you my word as a banker. Have I ever lied to you?’ The first
thing James Bullingsworth did was have a drink. A martini. Double.
Then he had another martini. And another after that. And when he
arrived home, he told his wife that if she mentioned he had been
drinking, he would punch her heart out, noted that she had been right
all along about how the bank was using him, put on a fresh jacket -
carefully transferring his notebook to the inside pocket - and
flailed out of the house yelling how he was ’going to show
those sons of bitches who James Bullingsworth was’. At
first he played with the idea of exposing the Betterment League in
the Miami Dispatch. But that could get him fired. Then he
thought of confronting the president of the bank. That would get him
the increased money, but somewhere along the road the bank president
would make him suffer. The proper
course of action came to him when he switched to bourbon. Bourbon
focused the mind, elevated it to awarenesses of human relationships
not understood in mere gin and vermouth. Bourbon told
him that it was every man for himself. It was the law of the jungle.
And he, James Bullingsworth, had been a fool to think he lived in a
civilized society. A fool. Did the bartender know that? ‘We’re
cutting you off, Mister,’ said the bartender. ‘Then
you’re the fool,’ Bullingsworth said. ‘Beware the
king of the jungle,’ he said, and remembering a Miami Beach
official who once spoke at a church picnic and said he was glad to
see young men like James Bullingsworth get involved hi civic affairs,
he phoned that official. ‘Why
don’t we talk this over in the morning, huh, fella?’ said
the official. ‘Because,
baby, you may not be around in the morning. They’re going to
indict your ass next. Parking meter receipts.’ ‘Maybe
we’d better not talk about this on the phone. Where can we
meet?’ ‘I want
a million dollars for what I have. A cool million, buddy, because
this is the law of the jungle.’ ‘Do
you know the Mall in Miami Beach, the end of the Mall?’ ‘Do I
know the Mall? Do you know what you people are planning for
construction on Key Biscayne? Do I know the Mall?’ ‘Look,
fella, at the end of the Mall, on the beach near the Ritz Hotel. Can
you get there in an hour?’ ‘I can
get there in fifteen minutes.’ ‘No,
don’t get in any accidents. I think you’ve got something
very valuable." ‘A
million dollars valuable,’ said Bullingsworth, drunkenly
slurring the words. ‘A million dollars.’ He hung up
and, while passing the bar, informed the bartender that he just might
come back, buy the bar and fire his Irish ass the hell out of there.
He waved the notebook with the scribbles in front of the bartender’s
face. ‘It’s
all here, sweetheart. Gonna fire your Irish ass the hell out of here.
Gonna be the biggest political cat in the political jungle. You’ll
think another think before you cut off James Bullingsworth. Where’s
the door?’ ‘You’re
leaning on it,’ said the bartender. ‘Right,’
said Bullingsworth and sailed out into the muggy Miami night. The air
had a bit of a sobering effect on him and by the time he reached the
beach he was only drunk. He kicked the sand and breathed the fresh
salt-air. Maybe he had been a bit precipitous? He looked at his
watch. He could use another drink. He could really use another drink.
Maybe if he went to the president of the bank, explained what he did,
maybe everything could be worked out. He
heard the strains of Bette Midler from an open hotel room window. He
heard a small power-boat approaching. The beach was supposed to be
lit at this hour. All the other sections were indeed well-lighted,
but this section was dark. The Atlantic was black out there, with a
lone ship blinking like an island afloat. Then came a
whisper. ‘Bullingsworth.
Bullingsworth. Is that you?’ "Yeah.
Is that you?’ said Bullingsworth. ‘Yes.’ ‘Where
are you?’ ‘Never
mind. Did you bring the information?’ ‘Yes, I
have it.’ ‘You
tell anyone else?’ Sobering up
all too quickly, Bullingsworth thought about an answer. If he told
them someone else knew about it, then they might think he was
blackmailing them. Then again, that was what he was doing. ‘Look,
never mind,’ said Bullingsworth. ‘We’ll talk about
this some other day. I’m not going to tell anyone else. Let’s
meet tomorrow.’ ‘What
do you have?’ ‘Nothing.
I didn’t bring it.’ ‘What’s
that notebook?’ ‘Oh,
this. Jeez. Just to take notes. I always carry one.’ ‘Let me
see it.’ ‘No,’
said Bullingsworth. ‘You
don’t want me to take it, do you?’ ‘Just
notes. Notes I have.’ ‘Bring
it here.’ ‘They’re
nothing, really. I mean, nothing. Look, my friends are going to pick
me up here any minute. I’ll be seeing you. Tomorrow is fine,’
said Bullingsworth. ‘I’m really sorry to have bothered an
important man like you tonight anyway.’ ‘Bring
the notebook over here, James,’ came the voice, soft and
ominous and tinged, Bullingsworth realized for the first time, with a
touch of Europe. ‘You’ll be sorry if I have to go over
there and get it.’ The voice was
so threatening that Bullingsworth, like a little boy, meekly entered
the darkness. ‘Just
notes,’ he said. ‘Tell
me about them.’ Bullingsworth
smelled the lilac cologne very heavy. The man was shorter than he, by
about an inch, but broader, and there was something in his tone –
something in the way he spoke - that was commanding. He was, of
course, not the politician that Bullingsworth had expected to meet. ‘They’re
just notes,’ Bullingsworth said. ‘From a computer
printout in the Betterment League.’ ‘Who
else knows you made the notes?’ ‘No
one,’ said Bullingsworth, knowing he was saving his secretary’s
life, just as he knew his own life would be soon over. It was as if
he were a spectator to the event. He knew what would happen, there
was nothing he could do, and now he was watching himself about to be
killed. It didn’t seem horrible at all. There was something
beyond horror, like the acceptance of it. ‘Not
even your secretary, Miss Carbonal?’ ‘Miss
Carbonal is a hear-no-evil-see-no-evil, nine-to-five,
pick-up-your-check-and-go-home type. You know, Cuban.’ ‘Yes, I
know. These printouts. What do they say?’ ‘They
show that the National Betterment League is a fake. A secret
government organization that’s investigating and infiltrating
local governments in cities all across the country.’ ‘And
what about Miami Beach?’ ‘The
Greater Florida Betterment League is a cover, too. It’s been
digging into political crime in Miami Beach. Shakedowns, gambling,
extortion. It’s been setting up a case against all the city
officials, getting evidence ready for indictments.’ ‘I see.
Anything else?’ ‘No.
No. That’s about it.’ ‘Would
you like to work for us?’ ‘Sure,’
said Bullingsworth, as sober as he had ever drawn a sober breath. ‘Would
you like your money now?’ ‘Now.
Anytime.’ ‘I see.
Look at that boat behind you. Out there, in the Atlantic. Look.’ Bullingsworth
saw the boat, placid and blinking in the vast darkness. ‘I
don’t believe you,’ said the man with the heavy lilac
cologne and the foreign accent, and then Bullingsworth felt a sharp
sting in his right ear, and saw nothing else. But, in the vast
nothing that is death is often infinite wisdom, and in his last
thought he knew that his killer would face an awesome force that
would grind him and his cohorts into waste material, a force that was
at the very center of the universe. Of course, all of this meant very
little to James Bullingsworth, former assistant vice-president of the
Greater Miami Trust and Investment Company. He was dead. In the course
of normal, morning, beach-cleaning operations, Bullingsworth’s
body was discovered with what appeared to be a wooden tool handle in
his ear. ‘Oh,
no,’ said the sweeper and decided immediately he would not act
like some hysterical woman. He would walk calmly to the nearest
telephone and call the police, giving them exact details and other
useful information. This resolve
to discipline lasted three steps on the sandy beach, whereupon it was
discarded for an alternate course of action. ‘Help.
Arggghh. Dead. Help. Body. Help. Someone. Police. Help!’ The sweeper
might have stayed rooted, screaming until he was hoarse, but an
elderly vacationer spotted him and the body from her hotel window and
phoned the police. ‘Better
bring an ambulance too,’ she said. There’s a hysterical
man down there.’ The police
brought more than an ambulance. They brought photographers and
reporters and television crews. For something had happened during the
night to make the death of this man a very important matter,
important enough to call a press conference where James
Bullingsworth’s doozy of an idea - his belief in a federal
government plot to infiltrate local governments and jail key
officials - got a public airing. Waving the
Bullingsworth notes before the heavy lights of TV camera crews, who
were paid overtime for the pre-dawn work, a local politician of minor
rank talked ominously of the ’most treacherous act of
government interference in the history of our nation.’ CHAPTER
TWO His name was
Remo and he intended to interfere with local government very much. He
intended to make it do its job. He
rested his toes in the brick crevices, and with his
charcoal-blackened hands pressed flat against the rough brick, kept
his balance outside the window. He could smell the heavy fumes of
Boston. He could feel the vibrations of the traffic down below in the
dampish night street through the building wall, and he wished he were
in some place warm and sunny, like Miami Beach. But his assignment
was Boston. First things first. A passerby,
fourteen stories below in front of the hotel, would never see this
figure pressed into the wall, for he wore black shoes, black pants
and black shirt, and his face and hands were blackened with a
charcoal paste given him by the man who had taught him that the side
of a building could be a ladder if the mind knew how to use it as
one. Voices came
from the open window near his right kneecap. The window should not
have been open, but then the two detectives and plainclothesmen
hadn’t done their job very well from the beginning. ‘You’re
sure I’m okay here, fellas?’ asked a man in a rough, rock
voice. That was
Vincent Tomalino, Remo knew. ‘Sure.
You got us with you all the time,’ said another man. Must be
one of the cops, Remo thought, ‘Okay,’
said Tomalino, but his voice lacked conviction. ‘Wanna
play some cards?’ asked one of the cops. ‘No,’
said Tomalino. ‘You sure that window should be open?’ ‘Sure,
sure. Fresh air.’ ‘We can
use the air conditioner." ‘Lookit,
you guinea stool pigeon, don’t tell us our jobs.’ It
struck Remo as amusing that those officers with the heaviest service
to the Mafia were always the freest to use terms like ’guinea’,
’wop’, and ’dago’. Upstairs
probably had some psychological report on that. They had reports on
everything it seemed, from parking-meter graft in Miami Beach to
ex-Mafiosi who were going to be rubbed out because they planned to
talk. Tomalino was
going to talk. On this there
were several opinions. The district attorney promised the papers
Tomalino would probably spill, but the three policemen had promised
the local capo mafioso that he wouldn’t. These opinions
were really just opinions because it had been decided in an office in
Folcroft Sanitarium in Rye, New York, that Vincent ‘The Blast’
Tomalino not only Would talk, but he would tell everything he knew
with a pure heart. ‘I want
to check the window,’ said Tomalino. ‘Stay
where you are,’ said one of the cops. "You two keep him on
the bed. I’m going to check the roof.’ Remo looked
up to the roof. Surprise, surprise - here it came. A rope swooped out
in an arch and slapped back against the side of the hotel. It paused
there a moment, a head peered over and the rope descended, right past
Remo’s knee. He heard the hotel room door open and close, and
assumed the officer was going up to the roof to get his payoff
immediately after the job was done. A large body
grunted its way over the ledge and using hands and feet like clumsy
logs lowered itself down the rope. Remo could smell the man’s
meat-eating breath from five feet away. A carbine which could be
handled with one hand was strapped to the man’s back. And there
was something metallic around his waist. What was it? Remo peered
more closely. The man had attached a pulley to his waist so he
wouldn’t fall. Remo couldn’t
get the idea of meat out of his mind. He hadn’t had a steak for
two years. Oh, for a juicy-fat crisp steak, or rich thick hamburger,
or a slice of quivering roast beef oozing its juices from a delicious
red center. Even a hot dog would be great. Or a slice of bacon, a
magnificent slice of bacon.; The
meat-eater’s right foot touched the top of the window and still
he did not see Remo. He reached for the carbine on his back and since
he seemed to be having trouble, Remo helped him. ‘It’s
stuck,’ said Remo, reaching up, but not for the carbine. He got the
pulley with his right hand, snapping it off, and since there was no
need for loud unpleasantness, he took out the meat-eater’s
throat with a thumb on the way down. Like a
water-filled balloon from a conventioneer’s window, the
meat-eater plummeted — arms and legs flailing noiselessly - to
the pavement below. Concrete and killer were joined with a muffled
splat. Remo climbed
up the rope, which he did not need but thought appropriate for his
greeting on the roof. ‘I
didn’t hear nothing,’ came the voice from the other side
of the ledge. It was the voice of the policeman who had left the
room. ‘Hi,
there,’ said Remo pleasantly, rising over the ledge. ‘I’d
like to borrow your head for a few minutes.’ Blackened
hands moved faster than sight. There was a short, wrenching sound on
the roof. Then Remo departed through the roof door and scampered down
the steps with something in his right hand behind his back, dripping. When he got
to Tomalino’s room, he knocked. A patrolman
answered the door. ‘What
do you want?’ asked the patrolman. ‘I want
to impress upon you and your charge in the room about talking from a
pure heart. I think you will agree with me, after a few moments of
explanation, that truth is the most valuable thing we have.’ ‘Get
out of here. We don’t need religious nuts.’ The door
started to close in Remo’s face, but something stopped it. The
patrolman opened the door again to get a better slam, but something
stopped it again. This time he looked to see what the obstruction
was. The religious nut in the black suit with the blackened face and
blackened feet was holding only one blackened finger in the way, so
the patrolman decided to break that finger by slamming the door with
the full force of his body. The door
reverberated against his shoulder and the religious nut pushed it
open, and shut it behind himself with one hand. Something dripped red
from behind the nut’s back. The patrolman
went for his gun and the hand did indeed reach the holster.
Unfortunately, its wrist connection was rather weak at the time,
suffering a cracked bone and a severed nerve. The other patrolman,
seeing the speed of the hands, flattened his palms upward. Vincent ‘The
Blast’ Tomalino, a short plug of a man with a stub of a face,
begged for mercy. ‘No,
no.’ ‘I
haven’t come here to kill you,’ said Remo. ‘I have
come here to help you speak from a pure heart. All of you sit down on
the bed.’ When they had
done so, Remo lectured them as a school teacher - discussing duty,
oaths taken for duty, and an oath that would be taken at a trial
shortly where Tomalino would be a witness. ‘Purity
of heart is most important,’ Remo said. ‘The
detective who is not here had gone up to the roof to do a bad thing.
A very bad thing. The bad thing lacked purity of heart.’ The three men
eyed the growing red puddle behind the religious nut’s back. ‘What
was this bad thing? I will tell you. He was going to take a payoff
for someone to kill you. So were these two other officers. ‘The
bastards,’ said Tomalino. ‘Judge
not lest ye be judged, Mr. Tomalino, for you have been negotiating
with your former boss to perhaps not speak with a pure heart.’ ‘No,
no. I swear. Never.’ ‘Do not
lie,’ said Remo sweetly. ‘For this is what
happens to people who tell untruths and do not act with purity of
heart.’ With that,
Remo took what he had been holding behind his back, and placed it on
Tomalino’s lap. Tomalino5s
jaw dropped and tears filled his eyes as he went into shock. One of
the patrolmen vomited. The other gasped. ‘Now, I
must ask you to tell an untruth. You will tell no one about this
visit, and you two policemen will do your duty, and you, Mr.
Tomalino, will speak with a pure heart.’ Three heads
couldn’t nod hard enough. The fourth was beyond nodding and,
knowing that the lesson was well-learned, Remo left the room and shut
the door behind him. Down the
hotel foyer, three doors down, Remo opened a door he knew would be
unlocked. He went to a bathtub that he knew would be filled with
water and a special cleansing lotion, then washed his hands and face
and feet. As he washed, pods of plastic peeled from his cheeks,
changing the contour of his face until now he was almost handsome. He
dropped the black pants and shirt into the toilet where, touching
water, they dissolved. He heard the police sirens fourteen stories
below. He flushed the clothes, emptied the bathtub and went to the
closet where a once-worn suit, slightly rumpled as if it had spent a
day in the office, hung. He threw it on the bed and opened the bureau
drawer where there was a set of underwear, his size; socks, his size;
wallet with identification and money; and even a handkerchief. He
checked to see if it were clean. Who knew to what extent upstairs
would go to assure secrecy? Remo
opened the wallet and checked the wax paper seals. If they were
broken he was to discard the identification and say - if he were
stopped for questioning - that he had lost his wallet, referring all
inquiries about him to a firm in Tacorna, Washington. Should this be
done there would be a reference from that firm that, indeed, a Remo
Van Sluyters worked for the Busby and Berkley Tool and Die. Remo opened
the seals with his thumb. He looked at the driver’s license. He
was Remo Horvath and his card said he worked for the fund-raising
firm of Jones, Raymond, Winter and Klein. He checked
the closet for his shoes. The ding-dongs upstairs had unloaded
well-used cordovans on him again. As he
dressed, he mused over the morning’s headlines. HERO COP
GIVES LIFE TO SAVE INFORMER. Or MANIAC AX
WIELDER ATTACKS HERO COP. Or A BLOODY
MISS AT TOMALINO. He walked out
into the foyer which was now a confusion of blue uniforms, many of
them with brass insignia on the shoulders. ‘What
happened, officer? What happened?’ ‘Stay
in your room. No one’s leaving the building.’ ‘I beg
your pardon.’ An officer
with a broken wrist limped out of Tomalino’s room. Why a limp,
Remo would never understand. Yet injured people, when they knew they
were being observed, often limped. ‘We’re
holding people for questioning,’ said the higher ranking
officer, who looked at the injured patrolman. The patrolman shook his
head, which meant to Remo that there was no identification of him as
the killer. But there was
a brief interrogation nevertheless. No, Remo had not seen anything or
heard anything and what right did the police have questioning him? ‘A
witness was almost killed tonight and one officer was,’ the
interrogating officer said. ‘Right next to you.’ ‘Goodness
gracious,’ said Remo and then, turning to anger, he demanded to
know what right the police had to keep witnesses in hotels where
ordinary citizens stayed hoping to be safe. What was wrong with the
jails? The officer
couldn’t wait to end the unproductive questioning. Remo left the
hotel complaining about violence^ crime in the streets and safety for
the average citizen. He could not walk underneath the Tomalino
window, however, for that was cordoned off by police barricades. A
large mound was in the barricaded area. It was covered by a sheet. One
precaution Remo did not take. He did not bother to wipe his prints
off the objects in the room he used for changing. There was no need.
Police couldn’t check out his fingerprints, least of all with
the FBI file. Nobody cross-referenced the prints of men who were
certifiably dead. CHAPTER
THREE IN answering
questions of the Washington press corps, the presidential press
secretary appeared serious, yet un-worried. Of course, the
charges were serious and they would be looked into thoroughly by the
Justice Department. No, this was not another Watergate, the press
secretary said. He said that with a crisp smile. Any other questions? ‘Yeah,’
replied one reporter, rising. ‘The incumbents in Miami Beach
are charging that your government has been attempting to frame them.’ ‘That
was not a charge nationally,’ said the press secretary. ‘It may
well become one. They say they have indications that an organization
called the Greater Florida Betterment League was just a front for
secret and illegal government investigations, including wiretaps and
bugging.’ ‘The
Justice Department will look into that.’ The reporter
would not sit down. ‘This morning, when the local sheriff’s
office broke into the League headquarters in Miami Beach, they found
records leading to the National Betterment League’s offices in
Kansas City, Missouri. That place turns out to be financed by a U.S.
government educational grant. This educational grant doesn’t
appear to educate many people, but it managed to spend over a million
dollars in Miami Beach alone last year. Now what does that mean?’ ‘It
means that will be looked into also.’ ‘Another
thing. There’s the possibility that this country goes around
murdering its citizens. An employee of the Greater Florida Betterment
League, one James Bullingsworth, was found dead with an ice pick in
his ear. According to Miami Beach officials, he had been seen
previously with a notebook saying he was going to become the
political kingpin of the city. What do you have to say about that?’ ‘Same
as to everything else. We most certainly are going to look into this.
That is, the Justice Department will uncover everything.’ ‘The
Justice Department is involved in this thing, according to the
charges of the administration in Miami Beach) ‘The
local government of a minor Florida city is not the major concern of
the White House,’ the secretary said, unable to keep the edge
out of his voice. ‘And
what is this secret organization called Folcroft?’ the reporter
asked. ‘Apparently it was behind the whole scheme.’ ‘Gentlemen,
this is leading us nowhere. The Justice Department is investigating.
You know where to reach the attorney general.’ ‘It’s
not the where of reaching, but the who of reaching,’ cracked
the reporter, and the press corps broke up in laughter. The press
secretary smiled wanly. In the Oval
Room of the White House, the President watched the press conference
live on television. When the reporter mentioned the word ‘Folcroft,’
the President’s face became ashen. ‘Do we
have anything like that, Mr. President?’ said a trusted aide. ‘What?’
said the President, ‘An
organization called Folcroft.’ ‘There
is no organization called Folcroft that I know of,’ said the
President. And, technically, he was telling the truth. Several
hundred miles away on the Long Island Sound, in a sanitarium called
Folcroft, one of the social researchers heard the name mentioned on
radio and wondered out loud if ’we have anything to do with
that mess in Miami Beach’? He was assured by his colleagues
that this was impossible and they must be talking about some other
Folcroft, not the Folcroft Sanitarium famous for its research in
changing social patterns and their psychological influence upon the
individual in an urban-agricultural environment. ‘But
wasn’t that Kansas City education grant one of ours?’ he
asked. ‘I’m
not sure,’ said a colleague. ‘Why don’t you ask Dr.
Smith?’ And when the
researcher heard the name of the director of the Folcroft Sanitarium
and thought of that thin, parsimonious gentleman, he was forced to
smile. ‘No,’
he admitted. ‘We couldn’t have anything to do with that
Miami Beach mess. Could you imagine Dr. Smith involved in anything
like that?’ And they all laughed for it was known that Dr.
Harold W» Smith did not approve of off-color jokes or
misspending of a penny, much less political espionage. Dr. Smith did
not eat lunch in the Sanitarium cafeteria that day and his prune-whip
yogurt with lemon topping sat unclaimed by any of the other staff.
Ordinarily, untouched yogurt would be discarded at the end of the
day, but the kitchen help was instructed to save his cup, for Dr.
Smith would eat it the next day. It was in the kitchen that he was
known to give his sternest lectures on waste not, want not. It
was also in the kitchen, usually after a salary raise had been
denied, that the kitchen help prepared the prune-whip yogurt with
liberal dashes of spit. They would
then steal gleeful looks as waste not, want not Smith ate his
lunch. Had they known the forces the stuffy gentleman commanded, the
saliva would have dried in their mouths. Dr. Smith was
not having lunch. The door of his office was locked with instructions
to his secretary that he would see no one. Dr. Smith was busy waiting
for a telephone to ring. At this stage, there was nothing more to do. He looked
through the one-way glass windows out at the Long Island Sound. He
had sailed there several times in the sunshine. From the Sound, his
windows looked like giant bright reflectors. A friend had asked him
why his windows shone so brightly and his answer was that at
Folcroft, we know how to keep them properly cleaned. He wondered if
the next tenants would replace theta with two-way glass. Smith sighed.
What had gone wrong? There were so many breaks in the chain, no one
should have been able to put it together, but here were these cheap
politicians in Miami Beach announcing CURE’s activities like so
many weather forecasts. How did it
happen? Miami Beach had been their breakthrough. For over two years,
CURE had been drawing in raw reports from FBI agents; CIA agents;
agricultural, postal, IRS and SEC investigators, and feeding them
into a computer, programmed to collate and interpret them, and then
sending its conclusions on to Kansas City in code. No one should have
known, but he realized what had happened. Smith had
become careless. He had failed to build into the system an automatic
destruction of the computer printouts and someone had filed them,
then someone had gone through them and pierced the code. Smith sighed
again. CURE had lost something important. It had been zeroing in on
Miami Beach because it had learned that it would become the nation’s
new gateway for drug imports. It had planned to let the incumbents
win the upcoming municipal election, and then wipe them all out in a
flood of indictments. In the ensuing power vacuum it would install
new leadership of its own choosing who could close the narcotics
pipeline. Now that opportunity was lost.: But more
important was the danger that CURE would be unmasked. That would be
the greater loss. For more than
a decade now, CURE had been secretly assisting overworked
prosecutors, making sure bribed officials were exposed, when
ordinarily their corruption would have meant for them a life income,
not a life sentence. CURE made sure that men untouchable by the law,
suddenly became touched very hard and very thoroughly. And what
could not be handled under the law was handled by CURE in other ways. Those were
the orders of a long-dead president to Smith more than a decade
before. Besieged by crime, internal corruption, the threat of
revolutionary anarchy, the president had created CURE, a government
agency which did not exist, and since it did not exist, was not bound
by constitutional safeguards. He had told Smith to head it and to
fight crime. That was its mission. To safeguard the country, the
president had specified that not even the president could give CURE
orders. With one exception. The president could order it to disband. Smith had
worked that out well. There were special funds of which the president
knew, whose drying up would dry up CURE. That was only an extra
safeguard. Smith, of course, would disband CURE himself any time he
was ordered. In fact, several times he had come close, even without
orders, when he felt the organization faced exposure. For exposure
was the one big flaw in the entire operation. And now, again, CURE
faced exposure. Dr. Smith
looked out at the Sound and then back at the computer terminal on his
desk. A red phone
buzzed on his desk. That was the call. Smith picked up the phone. ‘Yes,
sir,’ he said into the receiver. ‘Was
that thing in Miami Beach your people?’ came the voice. ‘Yes,
Mr. President.’ ‘Well,
it’s close. You going to close shop?’ ‘Are
you ordering it, sir?’ ‘You
know where the egg yolk is going to land, don’t you? Right on
my face.’ ‘For
awhile sir, yes. Do you want to give the order?’ ‘I
don’t know. This country needs you people, but not as a public
agency. What do you recommend?’ ‘We’ve
begun closing down, sort of a self-induced dormancy. This line will
disconnect by 7 p.m. The Network of grants that supports us is
already being cut loose. Fortunately, none of the other Betterment
League offices around the country were operational. Only Miami Beach.
The computers there are erasing themselves. They’ve been doing
it selectively for the last day. We’ll be ready to disappear at
a moment’s notice.’ ‘And
that special person?’ ‘I
haven’t spoken to him yet.’ ‘You
could transfer him into some government operation. Definitely
military operation,’ ‘No,
sir, I’m sorry. I cannot do that.’ ‘What
will you do with him?’ ‘I had
planned to eliminate him in a situation like this^ You don’t
want him walking the streets uncontrolled.’ ‘Had
planned?’ Smith sighed.
‘Yes sir. When it was possible.’ ‘You
mean he can’t be killed?’ ‘No
sir. Of course, he can be killed, but God help anyone or
anything that misses.’ There was a
silence. A long silence. ‘You’ve
got a week,’ the president said. ‘Settle this thing or
disband. I’m leaving tomorrow for Vienna, and I’ll be
gone a week. The heat won’t really build up until I get back.
So you can use that week. Settle it or disband. How can I reach you
after this line is dead?’ ‘You
can’t.’ ‘What
should I do with the phone?’ ‘Nothing.
Put it back in your bureau drawers After 7 p.m. tonight, it will be
your direct line to the White House gardener.’ ‘Then
how will I know?’ the president asked. ‘We
have a week,’ Smith said. ‘If we clean it up, I’ll
contact you. If we do not... well, it was an honor to serve with
you.’ There was a
pause on the other end of the line. ‘Goodbye
and good luck, Smith.’ ‘Thank
you, sir.’ Dr. Harold W.
Smith, director of the Folcroft Sanitarium in Rye, New York, returned
the receiver to the cradle.. He would need the offered luck^ for in a
week the most important of all links would be destroyed - himself.
That came with the job. He would not be the first to shed his blood
for his country, nor would he be the last. The intercom
buzzed nervously. Smith opened a line. ‘I told
you I didn’t want to be disturbed,’ he said. ‘Two
FBI men out here, Dr. Smith. They want to speak to you.’ ‘In a
minute,’ said Smith. ‘Tell them I’ll be with them
in a minute.’ Well, the
investigation had begun. CURE‘S compromise was well underway.
He picked up another phone and dialed through an open line to a ski
resort in Vermont, closed for the off-season. When the
phone was answered at the other end, Smith said somberly: ‘Hello,
Aunt Mildred.’ ‘No
Mildred here.’ Tm sorry. I’m
very sorry. I must have the very wrong number.’ That’s
okay.’ ‘Yes. A
very wrong number,’ said Smith, and wanted to say more, but he
no longer had any guarantee that this line was not already being
tapped. For all
practical purposes, he had said it all. The last hope of CURE, that
special person, knew now there was a ’condition red’. What Smith
had wanted to say was, ‘Remo, you’re our only chance. If
you’ve ever come through before, you’ve got to come
through now.’ Maybe the tone of his voice carried that plea.
Then again, maybe it didn’t, for Smith could have sworn he
heard laughing at the other end of the line. CHAPTER
FOUR TREE at last,
free at last. Thank God almighty, free at last.’ Remo Williams
returned the phone to the cradle and danced out of his lodge room
onto the empty carpeted foyer that a few months earlier had suffered
the constant tromping of ski boots. Now it supported the bare,
dancing feet of one very happy man. ‘Free
at last,’ he sang, ‘Free at last.’ He danced down
the steps, taking them not three at a time or four at a time, but all
at a time, one leap like a cat and landing spinning. But for his
thick wrists, he appeared a very average man, somewhere near six
feet, somewhere near average weight, deep brown eyes and high
cheekbones - the plastic surgeon, by accident, returning them to
almost what they looked like ten years earlier, before all this. He pirouetted
into the lodge lounging room where a frail Oriental sat in a golden
kimono, his legs crossed in lotus position before a television set. The
Oriental’s face was as silent as glass, not even the wisp of a
beard moved, not even the eyes blinked. He, too, looked like an
ordinary man - an old, very old Korean. Remo glanced
at the set to make sure a commercial was playing. When he saw the
soapsuds filling a tub and a woman being congratulated by her peers
for a cleaner wash, he danced before the television screen. ‘Free
at last,’ he sang, ‘Free at last.’ ‘Only
a fool is free,’ said the Oriental, ’and he, only from
wisdom.’ ‘Free,
Little Father. Free.’ ‘When a
fool is happy, wise men shudder.’ ‘Free.
F. R. E. E. Eeeeeeeee! Free.’ Noticing that
the commercial was fading into the storyline of As the Planet
Revolves, Remo quickly removed himself from the viewing line of
Chiun, the latest Master of Sinanju. For when American soap operas
appeared on the screen, no one was allowed to disturb his pleasure. Barefoot,
Remo danced out into the spring mud of the Vermont countryside,
delirious with joy. It was a ’condition red’, and his
instructions were burned into his mind by his ten years of waiting,
since he had gotten his very first assignment The
bastards had just recruited him then, a Newark policeman, an orphan
with no close friends who would miss him. They framed him for murder
and sent him to an electric chair that didn’t work. When he
woke, they told him they were an organization that didn’t
exist; that now he was their enforcement arm who also didn’t
exist, because he had just died in the electric chair. And just in
case he should happen to bump into someone who knew him when, they
changed his face and kept changing it periodically. ‘Condition
red,’ Smith had said, before Remo left on his first mission,
’is the most important instruction I give you.’ Remo had
listened quietly. He had known just what he was going to do when he
left Folcroft that first time. He would make a half-hearted attempt
at the hit and then disappear. It didn’t work out that way, but
that was what he had planned. ‘Condition
red means,’ Smith had said, ’that CURE has been
compromised. It means that we are disbanding. For you, condition red
means you should remove the compromise if possible. If not, run and
don’t try to reach us.’ ‘Run
and don’t try to reach you,’ said Remo, humoring the man. ‘Or
remove the compromise.’ ‘Or
remove the compromise,’ Remo repeated dutifully. ‘Now
chances are I won’t be able to communicate with you under those
conditions, at least not safely. So the code for condition red is
calling you, asking for Aunt Mildred, and then saying I must have a
very wrong number. Do you understand?’ ‘Aunt
Mildred,’ Remo repeated. ‘Got it.’ ‘When
you hear my voice asking for Aunt Mildred, you become the last hope
of CURE,’ Smith said. ‘Right,’
Remo said. ‘Last hope.’ He wanted to get out of Folcroft
and vanish. To hell with Smith, to hell with CURE, to hell with
everybody. It never
worked that way. It turned into a new life. Years went by, Names on
lists, people he didn’t know, people who thought that guns were
protection and suddenly found those guns in their mouths. Years of
training - under Chiun, the Master of Sinanju - who slowly changed
Remo’s body, mind and nervous system into something more than
human: a man of years without tomorrows because when you change your
name and your place of living and even your face often enough you
stop making plans. So it was
over now and Remo danced in the sunshine. The air was good and clean;
the new buds were fragrant on the hill. A young girl and her dog were
standing by the silent chairlift being put into seasonal retirement.
Vermont labor being what it was, the project was two months behind
schedule. In all of
industrious New England, Vermont somehow has escaped the Protestant
work ethic. People buying homes and land in this beautiful state find
it almost impossible to get a plumber or an electrician to do a fast
job. Land waits for houses and houses wait for service and the whole
state works off a tax base that would shame a Polynesian island. But that was
not Remo’s problem either, nor was secrecy about so many things
anymore. ‘Hello,’
said the little girl. ‘My dog’s name is Puffin and mine
is Nora and I have a brother J. P. and Timmy and an Aunt Geri, what’s
yours?’ ‘My
aunt?’ ‘No,
your name,’ said Nora. ‘Remo.
Remo Williams,’ said Remo who had been Remo Pelham and Remo
Barry and Remo Bednick and Remo so many things, but now he was Remo
Williams again and that was his name and it felt good in the saying
of it. ‘Remo Williams. Do you want to see something amazing
nobody else can do in the whole wide world, except a very few people
from a far-off land?’ ‘Possibly,’
said Nora. ‘I can
run up that chairlift.’ ‘That’s
silly,’ Nora said. ‘So can I. Anybody can run ’up
the hill.’ ‘No. On
the lines, right up over the chairs, along that steel band that goes
from support to support,’ ‘You
cannot. Nobody can do that.’ ‘I can
do it,’ said Remo. ‘You watch.’ And he ran to
a silent empty chair and with a leap was one hand on it, and without
breaking motion, pulled himself above it and onto the wire. Nora laughed
and clapped, and then Remo ran upward, keeping the balance of his
body centred, his bare feet hardly touching the metal, hot in the
late spring sun. It was not
training, not as Chiun would call it training, because he was not
using his mind, focusing his forces. Rather he was showing off for a
little girl and just running, running upward, over a little
depression in the ground that put him 45 feet above it, over the
chair hooks to the wire, up to the top of the mountain, and when he
got there, he stood surveying the now-green ski slopes, the other
mountains rising green into the blue sky. He could if he wished buy a
home right there. Or even the whole mountain. Or even an island
somewhere and throw coconuts for the rest of his life. He was,
as few men were, free. Whatever had caused the condition red was
Smith’s problem and not his. So Smitty would probably take his
own life. So what? Smitty knew what he had volunteered for. He bought
the package. And that was the difference. Remo had never volunteered.
Maybe he would return to Newark, which had been placed off limits to
him when he was dragged aboard CURE’s ship of fools. Maybe he
would see what Newark was like. So many years. He thought
about Smith again and then forced the thought from his mind. Smitty
had volunteered and Remo hadn’t and that was that. He wasn’t
going to give it one more thought. Not one. He thought
about how he wasn’t going to think about it, all the way down
the wire, past the clapping little girl whom he ignored and into the
lodge. He waited, dandling his leg nervously, while As the Planet
Revolves moved into Dr. Lawrence Walters, Psychiatrist at
Large, and various other daytime dramas where nothing ever
happened but all the actors discussed the action, Remo had long ago
attributed Chiun’s liking of the soap operas to the first
warning signal of senility. To which Chiun had replied that in all
the crassness of America, it had produced one great art form and this
was it, and that if Remo were Korean, he could appreciate beauty, but
since Remo could not appreciate anything, not even the most valuable
training in the history of mankind, how could he appreciate something
as fine as a soap opera? So Remo
steamed as Dr. Carrington Blake explained to Willa Douglaston that
her son, Bertram, faced a possible problem with Quaalude. Bertram, as
Remo remembered from years past, had faced a problem first with
marijuana, then with heroin, and then with cocaine, and now since
Quaaludes were in, it was Quaaludes. During one
commercial, Chiun commented: ‘See an
ungrateful son.’ Remo did not
respond. What he had to say required more time than a mere
commercial. When the last
show was to be continued and when Chiun turned from the set, Remo
exploded. ‘I
couldn’t care less what happened to Smith or the organization,
Little Father. I couldn’t care less. I don’t care,’
Remo yelled. ‘You know what?’ Chiun sat
silently. ‘You
know what, Little Father?’ Remo yelled angrily. ‘You know
what?’ Chiun nodded. ‘I’m
happy,’ screamed Remo. ‘Happy, happy, happy.’ ‘I am
glad you are happy, Remo. Because if you are happy now, I would be
most feared to see you when you were unhappy/ ‘I’m
free now.’ ‘Something
has happened?’ asked Chiun. ‘Right.
The organization is coming apart,’ Remo said. Chiun, he knew,
had a vague understanding of CURE, vague to a large degree because
CURE fulfilled the basic requirement of Chiun’s services by
paying regularly, and after that it meant little to Chiun what CURE
really did. He called it ’the emperor’ because it was the
tradition of the House of Sinanju to serve emperors. ‘Then
we will find another emperor to serve,’ Chiun said. ‘See
now my wisdom. Because we have faithfully served one, we always have
employment in the future.’ ‘I
don’t want to work for anyone else,’ said Remo. Korean
mutterings emanated from Chiun’s mouth and Remo knew they were
not complete sentences, just minor curses, a few of which he
recognized such as ‘White man’, ’pigeon droppings’,
and something that could only be translated into English as ’rotted
bellies of untamed pigs’. There was, of course, the traditional
casting of jewels into mud and the inability of even a Master of
Sinanju to transform rice husks into a banquet. ‘And of
your training, what of that?’ Chiun said. ‘Of the years
given you that have never been given to white men before? What of
that? You have, I must confess, in all your training, made an
adequate beginning. Yes, I will say it. Adequate. You have achieved
adequacy s.. for a beginner.’ ‘Thank
you, Little Father,’ Remo said. ‘But you’ve never
really understood why I do these things.’ ‘Understood,
yes. Appreciated, no. You say patriotism, love of country. But who
has given you the secrets of Sinanju - America or the Master of
Sinanju?’ ‘America
paid for it.’ ‘They
paid money and for that I could have given you the master of Kung Fu,
Aiki and Karate. They would not have known the difference. They would
have thought how wonderful he can break bricks with his hands and
arms and kick things with his feet. These are mere games compared to
Sinanju. You know that well.’ ‘Yes, I
do, Little Father.’ ‘We are
assassins; these people are little dancers.’ ‘I know
that.’ ‘Dr.
Smith would have been delighted with a dancer, but I gave you
Sinanju, to a white man I gave it honestly, and made even the walls
of stone but powder in the wind before your steps. These things - I,
Master of Sinanju, gave you.’ ‘Yes,
Little Father.’ ‘And
now you throw them aside like so much old clothing.’ ‘I will
never forget what you have ...’ ‘Forget.
How dare you say you will not forget? Have you learned nothing? Each
day you fail to remember, you forget. Knowing is not a question of
not forgetting, it is a question of remembering with your body, with
your mind and with your very nerves. That which is not remembered
every moment is lost.’ ‘Little
Father, I don’t want to kill any more.’ Stricken
with the statement, Chiun was silent for a moment, and Remo knew he
could get the full treatment of the benevolent master and the
ungrateful student. He would get the history of Sinanju, how this
poor village, unable to support itself, rented its assassins out to
the emperors of China, and how if a Master of Sinanju failed, the
babies of the village would be drowned, because drowning was better
than starving. It was called sending the babies home and Remo had
heard it countless times. It came down to whether you killed your
assignments or the innocent babies of Sinanju,; Remo heard it
all and when Chiun was finished, he said: ‘I
don’t like to kill people, Little Father. Not really, not
always and not often.’ ‘Drivel,’
said Chiun. ‘Who likes to kill? Does a surgeon like or dislike
a liver? Does one of your mechanics like or dislike a motor? Of
course not. And I would just as soon sit in peace with the world and
give love to one and all who passed.’ ‘That’s
hard to believe, Chiun. I mean, what with what happens to anyone
interrupting your shows and everything, know what I mean.’ ‘I am
not discussing my meager pleasures,’ said Chiun angrily. Remo
knew that when Chiun was imagining himself as a sweet, delicate
blossom, to remind him that he was the world’s most deadly
assassin was a breach of etiquette. ‘I too
would like never to raise my hand again,’ Chiun said. ‘But
this cannot be so, and so I do what every man should do. His job as
well as he can. That is what I do.’ ‘We’ll
never agree, Little Father. Not on that,’ And the
matter appeared decided, until a late night newscast where Remo saw
why the condition red. He watched the reporter question the
Presidential aide, and when the word Folcroft came up, Remo became
hysterical. ‘I wish
I could have seen Smitty’s face when he heard that,’ said
Remo laughing. But he did not laugh long for he did see the face of
Dr. Harold W. Smith. Television cameras had been denied admittance to
the grounds of Folcroft Sanitarium but a telephoto lens had captured
a look at Dr. Smith as he walked, hands behind his back, toward the
waters of Long Island Sound. His face was his usual mask of calm, but
Remo knew that underneath it was a great sadness. And seeing the head
of CURE weak and helpless like that, Remo felt a rage he never knew
he possessed. It was all right for him to hate, possibly even to
verbally abuse Smith, but he didn’t like to see anyone else do
it, particularly a country which would never know the debt it owed to
Smith. He watched the TV set until Smith vanished behind the back of
the sanitarium’s main building. Then he
called out: ‘Chiun, I want to talk to you about something. I’ve
got a little surprise for you.’ ‘I am
already packed,’ said the Master of Sinanju. ‘What took
you so long to change your mind?’ CHAPTER
FIVE GETTING
off the plane at the Dade County Airport was like walking into a hot
towel. ‘Eccchhh,’
said Remo but Chiun said not a word. He had made it clear that so
long as Remo got him to a television set by 11.30 a.m., he did not
care where they stayed or how they travelled. He did not like to talk
before his shows. Remo carried
all his clothes in a fat attaché case. For Chiun, they had to
wait at a luggage wheel inside the airport. A chute vomited the
luggage contents of each plane onto a revolving belt, around which
passengers stood, waiting, looking for their suitcases and boxes and
packages. In the
general jostle at the luggage wheel, Chiun made his way to the lip of
the revolving belt, and although he looked like a frail feather in a
herd of cattle, nevertheless he managed neither to be pushed aside
nor ignored. ‘Who’s
helping that poor old man?’ asked a hefty woman with a Bronx
accent. ‘It’s
all right,’ said Chiun. ‘I will manage.’ ‘He
doesn’t need your help, lady,’ said Remo. ‘Don’t
fall for it.’ "That is
my strong young son wh6 makes aged father bear heavy burdens,’
Chiun confided to the woman. ‘He
doesn’t look like you,’ said the woman. ‘Adopted,’
whispered Chiun. A large red
lacquered trunk with shiny brass trimmings came forth from the chute. ‘That
is ours,’ said Chiun to the woman. ‘Hey,
you. You gonna help your father with the luggage?’ the woman
cried out angrily. Remo shook
his head. ‘No. But you will.’ He turned his back on the
luggage wheel and strolled to a newsstand and it was here that he
realized how much he had come to rely upon CURE in his assignments. There would
be no reports waiting for him on who was where or doing what or who
was vulnerable because of something in his past. There would be no
new name with new credit cards and a secure house. There would be no
analysis of the problem by Smith, and as he purchased the two local
newspapers, he realized how alone he really was. The eyes and
ears of CURE had been put to sleep. Remo read the headlines. It was
now called ‘The League Affair’. What Remo
gathered from the newspapers was that somehow, notes on what the
Greater Florida Betterment League had really been doing had gotten
into the hands of a minor local politician, a functionary in the
election bureau. He was making all the charges. According
to the local politician, the secret notes proved that a secret
organization called Folcroft was conducting political espionage in
Miami Beach. The espionage was financed by the federal government and
its goal was to indict the mayor and current city administration. ‘Worse
than Watergate,’ said the local politician who said he had
access to the secret notes and would release them at the proper time.
The politician’s name was Willard Farger. Remo put down the
papers. All he knew was that the papers had printed that a lot of
people said a lot-of things. There was no
scale of verification, no scale of probability, none of the intensive
checks and counter-checks that had gone into the knowing of
something. What did he really know? That a
Willard Farger, who was a political cohort of the present
administration, had said a lot of things and probably had access to
the notes Compromising CURE. Remo shrugged. It was a good enough
beginning. He picked up
the paper again. A League employee had been murdered. The sheriff did
not deny that it could be Folcroft agents. There was an editorial.
‘Government by Assassins?’ Remo would
have to show that one to Chiun, who had once reasoned that the ideal
form of government was that where the ablest assassin ruled. Remo
smiled. The Master of Sinanju, in his governmental philosophy, was
not unlike businessmen who believed government should be run by
businessmen, or social workers who believed governments should be run
as a social program, or generals who thought that military men made
the best presidents, or even like the philosopher Plato who, while
outlining the ideal form of government, said its leader should be,
surprise, surprise, ’a philosopher king’. Willard
Farger, thought Remo, if you have ever talked in your political
career, you will talk to me. You’re a good beginning, Remo
folded the papers under his arm. If CURE were still working, he could
have had press identification if he wanted. ‘Hello,
Mr. Farger, I want to interview you.’ Wham. Bam. Press
identification. Remo mulled the thought, and discarded immediately
his first idea of a pre-dawn approach to Farger’s bedroom.
Farger himself would be deluged with reporters. He looked at the
paper again. On Page 7, there was a picture. The Farger family at
home. And there was pudgy-faced Mrs. Farger, sucking in her cheeks
and angling in at the camera to look slimmer, leaning forward, in
front’ of her husband. In front of him, Remo thought. The way
to Willard Farger^ he realized, would be through Mrs. Farger. Remo threw
the papers into a waste basket and looked over to the luggage wheel.
Sure enough, five vacationers were sweating and groaning under the
large trunks which contained Chiun’s kimonos; his television
taping machine; his sleeping mat; his autographed picture of Rad Rex,
star of As the Planet Revolves; his special rice. In all there
were 157 kimonos and six trunks. Remo had told Chiun to pack light. The hefty
woman, perspiring under one of the trunks, said to a young boy:
‘That’s him. That’s the old man’s adopted
son. Won’t even help the old man after all the old man has done
for him.’ She put down
the trunk. ‘Animal,’
she yelled at Remo. ‘Ungrateful animal. Look at him, everyone.
The animal who would make his aged father do heavy lifting. C’mon
over and see the animal.’ Remo smiled
pleasantly for one and all. ‘The
animal. Look at him,’ said the woman, pointing to Remo, Chiun
stood off to the side, innocent of the commotion, a mere aged Korean
hoping to enjoy the golden years of his life. Chiun could have, if he
had wished, taken the trunks and the volunteer porters to boot and
hurled them all back up the luggage ramp. But Chiun considered
carrying things to be ‘Chinamen’s work’, meaning
work unworthy of a Korean. It was for Chinese or whites or blacks. He had once
complained that Japanese did not like to carry things because of
arrogance. When Remo had pointed out that Chiun was not known to like
lifting, Chiun had responded that there was a difference between the
Korean and Japanese attitudes. ‘Japanese
are arrogant. They think the work is beneath them. Koreans are
not arrogant. We know the work is beneath us.’ Now Chiun had
a gaggle of tourists doing Chinamen’s work. ‘C’mon
over here, sonny, and help your father,’ yelled the woman. Remo shook
his head. ‘C’mon,
lazy bastard,’ joined in other volunteer porters. Remo shook
his head again. ‘You
animal.’ At this,
Chiun shuffled to center stage just a bit more slowly than usual.; He
raised his thin hands, the long fingernails pointing upward as if in
prayer. ‘You
are good people,’ he said. ‘So good and kind and
thoughtful. So you not realize that everyone is not so good as you,
that their decency is not so great, that it can never be as great.
You are angry because my adopted son does not share your goodness.
But you do not realize that some people from birth are denied this
goodness. I have tried so hard to teach him, yet for a flower to grow
from the seed, that seed must be planted in good soil. It is my great
sadness that my son is rocky soil. Do not yell at him. He is
incapable of your goodness.’ ‘Thanks,
Little Father,’ said Remo. ‘Animal.
I knew it. He’s an animal,’ snarled the woman. Turning to
her husband, a giant of a man that Remo estimated at six-feet-five,
325 pounds, the woman said, ‘Marvin, teach the animal some
decency.’ ‘Ethel,’
said the gigantic Marvin, in a surprisingly timid voice, ‘If he
doesn’t want to help his old man, that’s his business.’ ‘Marvin.
How could you let that animal get away with what he’s doing to
this sweet, old, precious lovely mensch?’ Ethel,
overcome by warmth, dashed to Chiun and hugged him to her overly
ample bosom. ‘A mensch. A pure mensch. Marvin,
teach the animal some manners.’ ‘He’s
half my size, Ethel. Come on.’ ‘I’m
not leaving this poor soul with that animal, Marvin. What an
ungrateful son.’ Marvin sighed
and Remo watched him approach. He would not hit him hard. Maybe just
take the wind out of him. Remo looked
up at Marvin. Marvin looked down at Remo. ‘Hit
the animal,’ yelled Ethel, clasping the world’s deadliest
assassin to her chest, while her husband faced the second deadliest. ‘Look,
buddy,’ said Marvin softly, reaching into his pocket. ‘I
don’t want to get into your family business, know what I mean?’ ‘Are
you going to hit him or are you going to talk?’ yelled Ethel. ‘You
are such a sensitive woman,’ said Chiun, who knew that
gross-sized people liked to be called sensitive because they were
called that so rarely. ‘Break
his head or I will,’ yelled Ethel, hugging tighter her precious
bundle. Marvin pulled
out of his pocket some bills, which was probably the luckiest thing
his hand had ever done for itself. ‘Here’s
twenty bucks. Help your old man with his suitcases.’ ‘I
won’t,’ said Remo. ‘You don’t know him and
you’re not the first he's homswoggled
into doing his heavy lifting. So put away your money,’
‘Look, buddy, it’s my family problem now.
Help him with the suitcases, will ya?’
‘If you don't slam that animal right now, Marvin,
you'll never know my bed again.’
Remo watched Marvin’s face light up in joyous
surprise.
‘Is that a promise, Ethel?’
Remo saw this as a good opportunity to disengage, but
Chiun, ever the gallant, said to the woman: ‘He is unworthy
of you, precious flower.’
The precious flower had always known this and putting
Chiun down, she hurled herself at her brute of a husband, slamming
his head with her pocketbook.
Remo ducked out of the way and left them squabbling with
a crowd forming to watch the family fight.
‘Proud of yourself, Chiun?’ asked Remo.
‘I brought happiness into her life,'’
‘Next time, get a porter.’
‘There were none to be found right away.’
‘Did you look?’
‘People who do Chinamen's work should look for me,
not me for them.’
‘I’ll be out tonight. I've got some work.’
said Remo.
‘Where are our quarters?’
Remo looked astonished. ‘I forgot that,’ he
said.
‘Ah,’ said Chiun. ‘Sec how valuable an
emperor can be?’ Chiun was
right of course. But what he did not realize was that their ‘emperor’
- CURE - was in danger of being destroyed and only Remo could
save it. If — and it was a big 'if - if he could straighten out
the mess of the ‘The League Affair’. CHAPTER
SIX WILLARD
FARCER, fourth deputy assistant commissioner of elections, woke up
with the first rays of sun glinting from his swimming pool into his
bedroom, the telephone receiver whining away. It had been taken from
its cradle so he could get a night’s sleep. Willard Farger
couldn’t be bothered by just any reporter anymore. It had taken
him exactly one hour and fifteen minutes, or approximately his third
interview with the press several days before, to forget how he would
formerly hound reporters to include his name in stories about
picnics, Boy Scout festivals and party fund-raising suppers. Then he would
personally deliver press releases from party headquarters, try to
tell jokes to anyone in the city rooms of the Miami Beach Dispatch
and the Miami Beach Journal, and excitedly await the next
edition home or office. Sometimes on
a slow news day, he would get: ‘Also in attendance was Willard
Farger, fourth deputy assistant-commissioner of elections.’ On
those days, he would ask his colleagues at the county administration
building if they had read the papers that day. He would wait around
the press room to see if reporters wanted anyone to go out for
sandwiches, and he never passed up a chance to buy a reporter a drink
at a bar. These chances
did not come often, since reporters thought of him as a publicity
hound and a nuisance. To be bought a drink by Willard Farger, fourth
deputy assistant-commissioner of elections, meant you had to speak
with him while downing it, and possibly longer. With one
television press conference, all this changed. Willard Farger now
stood against the government with ’proof of the most insidious
danger to our freedoms in the history of the nation.’ He was
news, growing national news, and only at the insistence of his
political bosses did he begin to talk to reporters from the local
papers. After all, hadn’t he made the front page of the New
York Times? ‘You
can’t ignore the Dispatch and the Journal,’ the
sheriff had told him. Secretly
Farger suspected the sheriff was jealous. Did the Washington Post
ever do a profile on a mere Dade County sheriff? ‘I
can’t localize my image either,’ Farger had said. ‘In
one two-minute network newscast, I reach twenty-one percent of all
the voters in the nation. Twenty-one percent. What do I get from the
Dispatch and the Journal, a fiftieth of one percent?’ ‘But
you live in Miami Beach, Bill.’ ‘And
Abraham Lincoln lived in Springfield. So what?’ ‘Bill,
you’re not president of the United States. You’re just
another guy who’s trying to re-elect Tim Cartwright as mayor
next week. So I think you’d better talk to the Dispatch and
the Journal’ ‘I
think it’s my business, not yours, Sheriff,’ said
Willard Farger, who a week earlier had offered to sweep out the
sheriff’s garage and had been refused, because it might be
construed as using public employees for personal purposes. Sheriff Clyde
McAdow had thrown up his hands, given a last warning that when the
national reporters left, the Dispatch and Journal would
still be in Miami Beach, and’ all of this reached Willard
Farger not at all. Men who were
on national television did not go taking advice from local sheriffs.
Willard Farger kept the telephone off the hook so that local
reporters couldn’t reach him. He would have to get an unlisted
telephone, he thought as he rolled out of bed. Maybe send the number
to the presidents of CBS, NBC and ABC. Perhaps Times and
Newsweek also. He couldn’t leave out the New York
Times or the Washington Post either, even though their
circulations nationally were not as heavy as the magazines. Important
in the intellectual communities, however. Farger yawned
and shuffled into the bathroom. He blinked his eyes and rubbed his
face, a somewhat fleshy face with a bulbous nose and small blue eyes,
topped by a good head of gray hair, which he thought gave the
impression of strength and wisdom and dignity. He looked
into the mirror that morning and liked what he saw. ‘Good
morning, governor,’ he said, and by the time he was finished
shaving, he was - in his mind - conducting cabinet meetings in the
White House. ‘Have a
good day, Mr. President,’ he said, applying the stinging
after-shave lotion. He bathed,
then hot-combed his hair, mentally toying with the idea of a united
world, free of war and strife, where every man could sit under his
fig tree and be at peace. He put on his
gray worsted that morning, a television blue shirt, and when he sat
down to breakfast, his wife Laura, still in curlers, put an envelope
on his plate instead of soft-boiled two-minute eggs. ‘That’s
this?’ asked Farger. ‘Open
it,’ said his wife. ‘Where
are my eggs?’ ‘Open
it.’ So Willard
Farger tore the end off the fat envelope and saw tightly compressed
bills in it. He pulled them out slowly and was surprised to see that
they were twenty-dollar bilk Thirty of them, ‘This
is six hundred dollars, Laura,’ he said. ‘Six hundred
dollars. Not a bribe, is it? I can’t have my career ruined by a
measly six hundred dollar bribe.’ Laura Farger,
who had seen her husband gratefully accept five dollars to fix a
ticket, cocked a disdainful eyebrow. ‘It’s
not a bribe. It’s mine. It was given to me for a magazine
interview.’ ‘Without
checking with me? You don’t know how to ’handle
reporters, Laura, You know nothing of the intricacies and the traps
of the media. For a crummy six hundred dollars, you may have damaged
my career. What did you tell the magazine?’ ‘I told
them you were a wonderful husband, a good family man, and that you
loved dogs and children.* Farger
pondered that statement for a moment. ‘Good.
That was all right. Did you tell him anything else?’ ‘No.
Just that I’d speak to you. He wants to interview you.’ ‘What
magazine?’ ‘I
forget.’ ‘You
give an interview to a magazine and forget? Laura, how could you do
this to me? Just as my career is taking off. An amateur handling the
media is the most dangerous thing for a political career. Politics,
Laura, is for pros, not housewives.’ ‘He
said he’d pay $6,000 for an interview with you,’ ‘Cash?’
said Willard Farger. ‘Cash,’
said Laura Farger who knew by the way her husband asked the question
that, she could count on at least a trip to Europe that year. Six
thousand dollars went a long way. ‘The guy’s name who
interviewed me was Remo something. I forget his last name.’ ‘Cash,’
mused Willard Farger. On a yacht
cruising past the famous skyline of Miami Beach, a man who smelled
heavily of lilac cologne heard complaints from Sheriff Clyde McAdow;
Tim Cartwright, mayor of Miami Beach; and city manager Clyde
Moskowitz. ‘Farger
is becoming impossible,’ said McAdow. ‘Impossible.’ ‘Impossible,’
said Mayor Cartwright. ‘Incredibly
impossible,’ said City Manager Moskowitz. ‘Idiots
usually are,’ said the man who smelled heavily of lilac
cologne. ‘And you forget that if he were not an idiot, he would
not have done what we wished.’ ‘Which
was?’ Cartwright asked. ‘To
make himself a target for the people who are trying to send you to
jail, Mayor.’ ‘Yeah.
But what can they do to him now? Under the glare of all this
publicity?’ ‘Gentlemen,
it is going to be a long hot day today and I intend to get some very
good sleep. I would suggest you get some sleep also. When you asked
my help, you said you would leave everything in my hands. Consider it
left. And don’t panic if a few more idiots get killed.’ The three
politicians exchanged glances. Jail after indictment was one thing;
murder and killing was something else totally. ‘Gentlemen,
I see by your faces that you feel somewhat betrayed,’ said the
man with the lilac cologne. He was a squarish sort of man with heavy
shoulders and a tubular waist, whose ample bulk made him appear
shorter than his six-feet two. His face had the smooth, unworried
look of old wealth; the sort of tan one does not sit on the beach
for, but acquires naturally when one lives in Palm Beach, eats
breakfast on the patio and yachts extensively. Now he sat
with a towel draped around his waist, lounging in the stateroom of
his vessel with three nervous men in business suits. ‘Let
me ask you a question,’ the man said. ‘You blanch at
killings. It offends you. Does it offend you enough, Mayor
Cartwright, that you will return all the millions in graft, the
diamonds in safe-deposit boxes, the stocks and bonds in Switzerland?’
He ignored Cartwright’s open-mouthed state, and went on.:
‘And you, Sheriff, does it offend you enough to give up your
wife’s 50 percent interest in the construction company which
gets most of the city’s building contracts? And to give back
the money which helped buy the auto dealership that you list under
your brother-in-law’s name? And you, Mr. Moskowitz, how much
does it offend you? Enough to give back all the money you have taken
by adding 10 percent to every city purchase in the last five years?’ He looked at
the three men, hard, one after another. ‘You
are surprised that I know these things,’ he said. ‘But
you forget. I have the notebook that Bullingsworth compiled and it is
only the fact that I have it, and not he, that keeps you three from
jail. The price I paid was his death; would you have me give a
refund? ‘Now
the simple fact is that a secret organization of the federal
government has been planning for two years to put you all in jail. By
following my advice, you have foiled this plan. Publicly exposing the
government has made it impossible for the government to act against
you. Now this secret organization is making its last attempt against
you. And instead of letting you three be the targets, I am using
poor, simple Willard Farger as the target. And suddenly you are
struck with remorse. It is too late for attacks of conscience. If you
wish to stay in office and out of prison, you must do it my way.
Because no other way will work.’ Mayor
Cartwright and Sheriff McAdow were silent, unmoving, but City Manager
Moskowitz shook his head vigorously from side to side. ‘If
they wanted to get us, why not months ago, before Tim’s
reelection campaign?’ he asked. ‘For a
simple reason,’ the heavyset man said. ‘If you were all
indicted months ago, there would have been a mad scramble of
contenders for your positions. The government’s plan was more
clever, more insidious. They were going to let you get re-elected,
Mayor Cartwright, and then indict you and your whole administration.
In the confusion they were going to pick their own man to run the
city.’ ‘But
now they can’t touch me,’ Cartwright said. ‘My only
opposition in the election next week is that silly ninny, Polaney.
And if they try to indict me now, it’ll be a scandal. This is
going to be bigger than Watergate. We’ve got them over a
barrel.’ ‘Watergate
was done by amateurs,’ the heavyset man said. ‘Ex-CIA
and FBI men,’ said Cartwright defensively. The man shook
his head. ‘When they worked for their former organizations,
they worked in a context that made them competent and professional.
On their own, they were stumbling, bumbling men taking risks that
shouldn’t have been taken. No, gentlemen, you underestimate
your opponents. You have uncovered a secret organization that has
obviously operated effectively for years. Do you expect them not to
cut and run? Believe me. What they are doing now is retreating to
defensive positions, while they devise a new plan of attack against
you. Farger is to be the lightning rod for that attack. That is why
the idiot is necessary.’ The
heavyset man rose from his pillows and walked to a window of his
stateroom. He looked at the Miami Beach skyline, money rising out of
sand. Cities always had been prizes of war, from the fall of Troy to
the Battle of Moscow. To take a city, that was an accomplishment. Behind him,
Moskowitz said: ‘You didn’t tell us it would be this
way.’ ‘I
didn’t tell you the sun would rise either, but what do you
expect? To have the cover of darkness forever?’ He wheeled and
faced them angrily. ‘Gentlemen, you are at war.’ He
measured the tension in their faces. Good, he thought. They are
losing the illusion of safety. Always good for green troops. ‘But,
don’t worry, gentlemen. You are at war, but I am your general.
And the first thing I have done is to set Farger out as bait to see
what our opponents plan.’ ‘But
killing?’ said Moskowitz. ‘I don’t like killing.’ ‘I
didn’t say he would be killed. I said he would be their first
target. Now I think the meeting is concluded. I’ll have my
launch take you back to my city.’ ‘Your
city?’ asked Mayor Cartwright, but the heavyset man with the
heavy smell of lilac cologne did not hear him. He was intently
watching the back of Moskowitz as he stepped, out onto the highly
varnished deck. Moskowitz was still shaking his head. CHAPTER
SEVEN WILLARD
FARCER wanted to make one thing perfectly clear before the interview
began. ‘I
am not giving your magazine an interview just for the six thousand
dollars. I’m giving you this interview so that a broader
spectrum of the American public will see the treachery they are
pitted against. I want to return America to the principles that made
her great. Did you bring the money?’ ‘After
the interview,’ said Remo. He had noticed the two
plainclothesmen outside Farger’s home, so he might have to
leave with Farger if he couldn’t find out what he wanted in the
interview. ‘I’ll
be perfectly honest with you,’ said Farger. ‘This money
is going to go right into Mayor Cartwright’s campaign coffers.
I’m not going to use a cent of it myself. It’s going to
pay to elect a mayor with the guts to stand up against an insidious
central government. So I’m really taking the money for the
people.’ ‘In
other words, you want the money up front,’ Remo said. ‘I want
the people to be assured of their birthright as Americans.’ ‘I’ll
give you a thousand up front and the rest after the interview.’ ‘Remo,
if I may call you Remo,’ said Farger, ’this is a time of
crisis in America, polarization of the races, rich against poor,
labor against capital. Good government can bring us back to our
senses, but it costs money to elect good government.’ ‘Two
thousand up front,’ Remo said. ‘No
checks/ said Farger, and the interview began. Remo noted
that Farger must have done extensive research into this secret
government agency and this Folcroft. How did Farger do it? Farger
answered that every American should be aware of his government in
order to help improve it. That was the trouble with government today. How did
Farger find out the Betterment League was a front and how did he get
his hands on the Bullingsworth notes? Farger
answered that he was a product of an American home with American
values; decent hard-working parents had taught him persistence. Did Farger
still have the Bullingsworth notes and, if so, where did he have
them? ‘Any
man who wants to serve his community must take stock of his resources
and apply them in the most judicious and farsighted manner,’
said Farger. Who else but
Farger knew about the notes? ‘Let
me make one thing perfectly clear. Morality is the key to everything.
The little people of America, of this city where I was born and
raised, all of them are with me in standing up and crying out in a
single loud voice: Foul.’ Remo
shrugged. Perhaps reporters knew how to cut through this windage.
Maybe they knew special key questions that would unspring direct
answers. ‘You’re
not answering my questions,’ Remo said. ‘Which
question haven’t I answered?’ asked Farger innocently. ‘All of
them,’ said Remo. ‘I
never fail to answer a question,’ Farger said. ‘America
was built by forthright men who answered forthright questions with
candor. I am known for my candor.’ All right,
thought Remo. If that’s the way he wants to play it, that’s
the way we’ll play it. Remo studied
Farger’s face, peering intently into his eyes, then at his
hair. He raised his hands to frame it. ‘We
need photos for the story. A good cover shot. Front of the magazine.’ Farger shaded
the angle of his head so Remo could see the better side. ‘A
background,’ Remo said. ‘A background. We need a good
background.’ ‘With
my family?’ Remo shook
his head. ‘Someplace important: To capture your stature if you
know what I mean. Some place which best epitomizes your spirit.’ Tm not going
to fly to the White House for just one picture,’ said Farger
angrily. ‘I was
thinking of some place close to home.’ ‘It’s
a little late for the governor’s mansion, isn’t it?’ ‘Outdoors,’
said Remo. ‘A man of the land.’ ‘Do you
think so?’ asked Farger intently. ‘I’ve thought of
myself more as the answer to our troubled cities.’ ‘Land
and city,’ said Remo. Did Remo have
an idea for a good background? He most
certainly did. The
plainclothesmen followed the pair in a separate car. They drove down
Collins Avenue, Miami Beach’s main drag, turned into several
side streets, then back to Collins Avenue. The detectives were still
following. ‘Here?’
asked Farger. ‘Too
rich a background,’ Remo said. ‘If you should ever run
for office yourself, your opponents could use the picture and smear
you as the rich man’s candidate.’ ‘Good
thinking,’ Farger said. ‘Any
roads lead into the countryside?’ ‘Sure,
but we’re not on it.’ ‘The
countryside,’ said Remo, and Farger wheeled the car around
while the detectives wheeled their car around. ‘Stop
the car,’ said Remo. ‘This
isn’t the countryside.’ ‘I
know, just stop the car.’ Farger slowed his car and parked at a
curb. The unmarked police car stopped also. Remo got out
of the car and strode purposefully to the unmarked car. ‘Who
are you?! he demanded. ‘Deputy
sheriffs. Bade County.’ ‘Let me
see your identification.’ ‘Let us
see yours.’ In the
confusion and fumbling of wallets, Remo’s snake quick hands
darted through the steering wheel to the car keys, plucking them out
too fast to jingle. ‘Hey,
what’re you doing with the keys?’ ‘Nothing,’
said Remo as his thumb pressured the grooves and teeth of the
ignition key out of line. ‘Just want to make sure you don’t
run anywhere until I see that identification.’ The detective
at the wheel snatched back the keys. ‘You just watch your step
there, fella. We’re officers.’ ‘All
right. I’ll let it go this time,’ said Remo in his best,
decade-old patrolman’s voice. The two
deputy sheriffs looked at each other in confusion. They were even
more confused when Farger and the reporter who talked like a cop
drove away, and their ignition key wouldn’t work. ‘The
son of a bitch switched keys.’ But upon examination, that
proved not to be the case. They tried the key again and it did not
work again. Finally one of the deputies held the key to his right eye
and sighted along the grooves. He noticed they were bent out of
shape. As he tried to hammer the key back into shape with the butt of
his revolver, Farger’s car vanished over a hill. Miles ahead,
Remo noticed a lovely dirt road cutting into swamplands. Farger
pulled in. ‘You
see what happened to the deputies?’ Remo
shrugged. He pointed to a tree. ‘Pretty
wet over there,’ Farger said. ‘Do you think that’s
good?’ ‘Try
it,’ said Remo, So Willard
Farger in his best Douglas MacArthur wading-ashore stride went to the
tree and Remo drove the car right up to it into the wet mush. ‘What’re
you doing? You crazy? That’s my car,’ yelled Farger. He
dove for the driver’s seat. Remo snatched the ignition keys,
slid out the passenger’s door, and jammed it shut so it would
not open. He pranced over the car top and down to the other side
where he performed the same jamming operation on Farger’s door. ‘What’re
you doing, you crazy bastard?’ screamed Farger. ‘An
interview.’ ‘Open
the damned door.’ Farger struggled with the handle, but it
snapped off. The car sank into the dark ooze up to the midpoint of
the hubcaps. Remo hopped to the dry spot of moss near the palm tree.
He took a notebook out of his pocket and waited. ‘Get me
out of here,’ yelled Farger. ‘In
a minute, sir. First, I want your opinion on ecology, the urban
crisis, the farm crisis, the energy crisis, the Indochina situation
and the price of meat.’ With a sudden
belching sound, the front end of the car sank almost to the
windshield. Farger climbed over the seat to the back. He
hurriedly opened the window and tried to climb out headfirst. Remo
left the dry spot to push Farger back inside. ‘Let me
out of here,’ yelled Farger. ‘I’ll tell you
anything.’ , ‘Where
are the Bullingsworth papers?’ ‘I
don’t know. I never saw them.’ ‘Who
told you what to say, when you started shooting off your mouth about
Folcroft?’ ‘Moskowitz.
The city manager. He said Mayor Cartwright wanted me to do it.’ ‘Did
Moskowitz kill Bullingsworth?’ ‘No.
Not that I know of. The Folcroft people did. Are you from Folcroft?’ ‘Don’t
be absurd,’ Remo said. ‘That organization doesn’t
exist.’ ‘I
didn’t know that,’ cried Farger. ‘You gotta let me
out of here.’ Muck oozed up into the car window and Farger
raised the window just ahead of the slime. ‘What
was the point of you guys blabbing about the Folcroft thing?’ ‘It was
Mayor Cartwright’s idea. He said if we exposed it, they
wouldn’t be able to slap any of his men or him with phony,
trumped-up indictments.’ ‘I see.
Thank you for the wonderful interview.’ ‘You
going to let me out of here?’ ‘As a
newsman, I have a responsibility to report the facts, not interfere
with them. Representing the Fourth Estate. .. .’ Remo had no
chance to finish the sentence because with a lurching slurp, Farger’s
car dropped and now only the roof of the sedan showed. Muffled moans
came through it. Remo leaped to the roof. The car sank deeper from
his weight and the swamp began to crowd his little platform. As Chiun had
taught him so long ago, Remo focused the power on his right hand and
welding the fingers and palm into an almost straight line, slashed
down into the thin metal roofing, creating a three-foot long scar. He
ripped the thin topping off and Farger scrambled through the hole,
his face red with sweat and tears. ‘I just
want you to know I’m not fooling around,’ Remo said. ‘Now
take me to see Moskowitz.’ ‘Sure,
sure,’ Farger said. ‘I always considered the press my
friend. You know, you conduct one hell of an interview.’ When Remo and
Farger hitched a ride into the city, Remo said he would reimburse
Farger for the car. ‘Don’t
worry about it,’ Farger said. ‘Insurance will cover it.
You certainly do conduct one whale of an interview.’ In the city
Farger phoned Moskowitz. The city manager had just arrived home. ‘One
whale of a newsman wants to see you, Clyde,’ said Farger. But the
interview never took place. When Remo got to City Manager Clyde
Moskowitz’s house, the door was opened, the lights were on and
Moskowitz was staring at a television set with a half-smile on his
lips. His eyes were clouded. The lacquered wooden handle of an ice
pick stuck out of his right ear. Remo stood near Moskowitz, looking
at the ice pick, sensing the strange floral smell that it seemed to
give off. And then he
felt very helpless. For the first time, Remo feared that the art of
the assassin might not be enough. CHAPTER
EIGHT ‘MARSHAL
DWORSHANSKY, your lilac cologne, sir.’ The valet offered the
thin, silver bottle on the silver tray as the yacht lurched in the
growing hurricane winds. Marshal
Dworshansky shook seven drops of the greenish cologne on his hand,
and rubbed it between his open palms. Then he gently slapped his face
and neck. ‘Shall
I have the cook select the meat, Marshal?’ Dworshansky
shook his head. ‘No, Sasha, the important things a man must do
himself. To my sadness, I have found out that to entrust others with
a major task is to put your life in their hands.’ ‘Very
good, Marshal. The captain wishes to know when to return to port.’ ‘Tell
him to stay out here. Let us ride out the storm, Sasha, like seamen
of old. How is my daughter taking the sea?’ ‘Like a
true sailor, Marshal.’ Dworshansky
chuckled. ‘Ah. If she were a man, Sasha. If she were a man, she
would show them a thing or two, eh, Sasha?’ ‘Yes,
Marshal Dworshansky.’ With two
quick passes of a brush, Dworshansky formed his graying hair into a
neat, presentable style - not quite a crew cut, but not flowing
either. He dressed in white silk shirt and white cotton pants and
white deck shoes. Neat, presentable and functional. He looked at
himself in the mirror and slapped his hard stomach. He was in his
sixties, yet still well-muscled and fat free. When the
captain signed on new, young, crew members, Dworshansky would offer
them $100 if they could throw him in a wrestling match. When none
achieved this, he would offer $200 if two men could do it as a team.
That failing, he offered $300 for three and $400 for four. He would
stop at four, never winded or even flushed with effort. ‘Five
of you might make me work up a sweat,’ he would say. Now
Dworshansky entered the ship’s galley like a general on
inspection. ‘The meat, Dmitri,’ he ordered. ‘It
must be special tonight. Very special.’ ‘Your
daughter, Marshal?’ ‘Yes.
And her daughter, my granddaughter.1 ‘It is
good to serve your entire family again, Marshal.’ Dmitri, a
short wide man with thick Slavic features and hands like soup bowls,
hoisted a boar’s carcass to the cutting block. With obvious
pride, he waited for Marshal Dworshansky to inspect the provision. He
was not disappointed. ‘Dmitri,
in a desert you could find ice water, and-in Siberia, you could
gather warm mushrooms, but in America you are even more magnificent.
Where did you ever get a piece of real meat, hard meat without the
heavy marbling of fat? Tell* me how you did it, Dmitri. No. Don’t
tell me, for then your magic would be lost.’ Dmitri
dropped to one knee and kissed the marshal’s hands. ‘Up,
up, Dmitri. None of that.’ ‘I
would die for you, Marshal.’ ‘Don’t
you dare,’ said Marshal Dworshansky lifting the man to his
feet. ‘And leave me to starve among these savages without my
beloved Dmitri?’ ‘You
will have boar in wine as none of your ancestores’ ancestors
has ever had,’ said Dmitri, and despite protestations, insisted
upon kissing the marshal’s hands again. In the
stateroom, Marshal Dworshansky saw his daughter and granddaughter
reading fashion magazines, the mother scarcely older-looking than her
college-senior daughter, both with the fine high Dworshansky
cheekbones, both with stunningly clear-blue eyes, and both the. joy
and the light of his life. ‘Darlings,’
he called out, opening his arms. His granddaughter leaped into his
arms as though she were still a toddler, laughing and showering
kisses on his cheeks. His daughter
approached him with more mature steps, but the embrace was deeper and
stronger, a mature woman’s love for her father. ‘Hello,
papa,’ she said, and this would have surprised many people in
Manhattan, who knew her as Dorothy Walker, president of Walker,
Handleman and Daser, the queen of the cold bitches of Madison Avenue,
the woman who had battled the giants and won. -One reason
for Dorothy Walker’s success was not, as many rumored, her
ability to find the right bed at the right time, but her superior
business sense, and another fact unknown to anyone outside this calm
stateroom in a turbulent sea. Her little advertising agency was never
little at all. It opened its doors with more than $25 million in
assets, the personal dowry returned by her husband before he
disappeared two decades before. Unlike other
little shops that begin with creative talents and hopes, Walker,
Handleman and Daser began with the ability to go ten years without a
client. Naturally, not needing business for survival, the agency
found business ganging up at its front door. ’ ‘Have
you been a good boy, papa?’ asked Dorothy Walker, patting her
father’s flat stomach. ‘I have
not looked for trouble.’ ‘I
don’t like the sound of that,’ said Dorothy Walker. ‘Oh,
grandpa. Are you doing exciting things again?’ ‘Ten is
under the impression that your life has been a romantic one, papa. I
wish you had never told her those stories.’ ‘Stories?
They are all true, my dear.’ ‘Which
makes them worse, papa. Now, please,’ ‘Oh,
mommy. You’re so out of it. Grandpa is so cool, so with it, and
you keep putting him down. Really, mommy.’ ‘Cool
and with it, I can buy for $25,000 a year, take your choice of
weight, size and hair styling. Your grandfather is too old and too
mature to be out adventuring around the world.’ ‘Enough
controversy,’ said Marshal Dworshansky. ‘Tell me the good
things that are happening to you.’ Ten had a
basketful of good things and she explained them in detail, each with
a tense crisis and each of great import, from a new boyfriend to a
professor who hated her. ‘Which
professor?’ asked Marshal Dworshansky. ‘Never
mind, papa - and Teri, don’t you tell him.’ ‘Ah, my
daughter is so fierce. Listen to your mother.’ After the
late dinner was over and after the granddaughter had gone to bed,
Dorothy Walker, nee Dworshansky, spoke seriously to her father. ‘All
right. What is it this time?’ ‘What
is what?’ asked the marshal with great innocence. ‘Your
happiness.’ ‘I am
happy to see my loved ones again.’ ‘Papa,
you can bullshit prime ministers and governors and generals and oil
sheiks. But you can’t bullshit me^ Now there is one happiness
for seeing me and Teri, and another when you’ve been out in one
of your street fights.’ Marshal
Dworshansky stiffened. ‘The Spanish Civil War was not a street
fight. World War II was not a street fight. South America was not a
street fight, nor was the Yemeni campaign.’ ‘Papa,
this is Dorothy you’re talking to. I know, no matter how you
plan things, you always wind up doing the dirty work yourself. And it
makes you very happy. What is it this time? What is it that would
make you break your promise to me?’ ‘I
didn’t break my promise. I did not seek this out. I was
truthfully minding my own business,’ said Marshal Dworshansky,
and then he told her about having cocktails with Mayor Cartwright in
Miami Beach when he got some bad news. And all Marshal Dworshansky
had said was a mere: ‘If I were in your shoes, I would not
panic. I would. ...’ And like so
many other campaigns, this one had begun like that. A bit of good
advice, then a promise of reward from those he served. Unlike other
soldiers of fortune however, Marshal Dworshansky was not a penniless
beggar who would settle for jewels or money. Like his daughter, he
always went for bigger game. Not needing money, he demanded and got
much more than money. ‘I’ve
never had a city before,’ he said. ‘And besides, the
campaign is all over. Mayor Cartwright cannot lose.’ ‘And
how many ice picks have you left in how many ears?’ ‘Some
things, as you know, are necessary to do, even when we do not take
pleasure in them. But it should be over now. The enemy is stumped.’ And when
Marshal Dworshansky outlined who he thought the enemy was, his
daughter looked away from him in anger. ‘You
know, papa, I used to resent those Polish jokes. But now, after
hearing this, after listening to you so incredibly happy about your
wonderful new enemy, I’m beginning to wonder if those jokes did
not make us look a bit too intelligent.’ Dworshansky
was curious. He had never heard of a Polish joke. ‘If
you’d leave this yacht other than to cause mayhem or stick an
ice pick in someone’s ear, papa, you’d find out what the
world is up to.’ Intrigued,
the marshal demanded to hear Polish jokes and to his daughter’s
reluctant good humor, he laughed uproariously at each. ‘I’ve
heard them before,’ he said, slapping a knee gleefully. ‘We
used to call them Ukranian jokes. Did you ever hear about the
Ukranian who went to college?’ Dorothy shook
her head. ‘Neither
has anyone else,’ said Dworshansky and exploded in a booming
laugh that reddened his face and brought him near helplessness
everytime he repeated: ‘Neither has anyone else.’ ‘That’s
a horrible joke, papa,’ laughed Dorothy Walker, not wanting to
encourage her father, but his laughter was too contagious for her to
resist. For the rest
of the night he told Ukranian jokes and would not stop even when his
ship’s radio operator interrupted to tell him Mayor Cartwright
was trying desperately to reach him. ‘An
urgent problem, Marshal,’ said the radio operator. "Someone
named Moskowitz is dead.’ ‘Wladyslaw,’
said Marshal Dworshansky, ‘Have yon ever heard about the
Ukranian who went to college?’ CHAPTER
NINE HURRICANE
warnings were sounded in the Miami Beach area, and a shaky Sheriff
McAdow met with Mayor Cartwright in the mayor’s spacious
one-story ranchhouse, as dark winds whipped through palm trees on the
lawn. Cartwright
turned away from his shortwave radio, his face flushed. He wore
Bermuda shorts and a white tee shirt. An open bottle of bourbon sat
on top of the set. McAdow,
ashen-faced, leaned forward. ‘Nothing?
Nothing?’ Cartwright
shook his head. McAdow, in
white shirt with shining star and light gray pants with black leather
holster, rose from his seat and went to the window. He shook his
head. ‘Your
idea, Tim. Your idea.’ Cartwright
poured himself a half-tumbler of bourbon and downed it in two gulps.
‘Good. I confess. My idea. ‘Sue me.’ ‘Jesus,
what did you get us into, Tim? What did you get us into?’ ‘Will
you relax? Just relax. The marshal says we’re in good shape.’ ‘And he
won’t answer your radio message.’ ‘He
said we should sit tight and we’re in good shape. Now damn it,
until we hear from him or reach him, that’s what we’re
going to do.’ Tim Cartwright filled the tumbler half-full
again. ‘We’re
in great shape. Great shape. Moskowitz is dead. Just like
Bullingsworth got it. Farger is shitting in his pants because he says
he met some guy who rips off car roofs, and we’re sitting tight
with orders to do nothing until further orders. Great shape. There’s
Farger out there carrying the ball, and he’s as loose as
lambshit, and Moskowitz is dead.’ ‘I
trust Dworshansky.’ ‘So why
are you drinking so heavy?5 ‘I’m
celebrating early. My victory next week in my bid for re-election.
"Mayor Timothy Cartwright last night won an overwhelming victory
in his re-election effort as he trounced one lunatic, 99 percent to 1
percent." ‘You’re
so sure? Just because Dworshansky said so? Your great friend,
military, political, organizational genius Dworshansky. The man
countries bid for. Your friend.’ ‘You
agreed,’ Cartwright said. ‘Everything
happened so damned fast.’ ‘Something
else is damned fast,’ the mayor said. ‘You forgot damned
fast that the feds were going to stick your ass in jail, and
Dworshansky’s maneuver has blown that all to hell.’ ‘I’d
rather do a stretch in jail than end up with an ice pick in my ear.’ ‘We
don’t know if Dworshansky did it.’ ‘And I
don’t know that he didn’t.’ ‘And if
he did, so what? He told us, maybe some people had to die. I don’t
like it. You don’t like it. But even worse, I don’t like
being poor and in jail.’ Sheriff
McAdow turned from the window. ‘I’ll see you. I’m
going back to headquarters. The lines will be buzzing like crazy in
this weather.’ ‘Go
to it, Clyde. That’s what you were elected for. Protect the
people.’ When the
sheriff had left, Tim Cartwright filled his tumbler full and turned
out the lights in the room. He watched the hurricane grow, the rain
coming in torrents now, the city preparing to survive nature. What had gone
wrong? He hadn’t run for office to be on the take. He had run
because he wanted to be somebody. He had come home from the second
world war with the government owing him an education under the GI
bill and a lot of thoughts about democracy and that way of government
being the best for people to live under. So how
did he end up with a big fat bank account in Switzerland, scheming to
stay out of jail? Even as a councilman, he wouldn’t take. Sure,
he needed campaign contributions and contractors who were helpful got
a little extra consideration, but nothing out of the ordinary. Was it the
first time that the campaign treasury had a surplus, and he took the
overage for himself? Or was it doing favors for nothing, and then
wondering why he didn’t do them for something? Tim
Cartwright could not place the first step toward actively seeking
extraordinary profit from his office, but he knew the later ones. And
they could send him to jail. And so, not
to go to jail, he entrusted his future to a man who claimed he knew
how espionage worked. It had seemed very simple at first. Well, not
really simple, but kind of daring-brilliant. The fed spies
had Cartwright and McAdow and Moskowitz. They knew the bank accounts
and the graft and the shakedowns. So instead of trying to deny it and
defend themselves, they were told: go on the attack. Make it
impossible for the government to use its information. And it
had worked. An expendable piece of equipment, Willard Farger, had
been sent off on a fool’s errand - to attack the government -
and it had worked, Cartwright was going to be re-elected next week,
and the government would be afraid to move against him. And by the
time the feds had gotten their wits back about them, well, Mayor Tim
Cartwright might just have resigned his office and decided to go live
out his twilight years in Switzerland. ‘I
promise you a long and happy life, free of jail,’ Marshal
Dworshansky had said. And
there was only a small price. Give him the city. Whatever the Marshal
wanted in greater Miami Beach, Cartwright had to provide. Cartwright
hoped that Dworshansky would ask for the narcotics business.
Cartwright had never wanted to be in on it, but the money was just
too much to refuse. Protect the
people. Tim Cartwright downed the last of the tumbler and wanted to
cry. He would have given anything at that moment not to have taken
that little bit of campaign overage many years before. In Folcroft
Sanitarium, a Dr. Harold Smith appeared bewildered. Did the FBI men
really believe someone with a Folcroft educational grant was doing
some sort of political espionage? Yes, was the
answer. Well, Dr.
Smith’s books and records were completely open to the FBI.
Imagine someone doing something illegal with an educational grant.
What was this world coming to? ‘You’re
either naive Or a genius,’ said an FBI agent. ‘Neither,
I’m afraid,’ Dr. Smith said. ‘Just an
administrator.’ ‘Just
one question. Why are those windows one-way glass?’ ‘They
were like that when the foundation purchased the estate,’ said
Smith, who remembered how the dating on the billing had been changed
more than a decade ago in preparation for just such an investigation.
The whole organization had been set up to work just that way, from
the computer tapes to the billing on the one-way glass. The
secret of CURE was holding. If it could hold just a little longer,
Remo might be able to pull off the little miracle. Somehow, figure
out a way to defuse the Miami Beach bomb that was blowing the cover
off CURE. It was a slim chance, but it was CURE’s only chance.
Just wait. Wait for an all-clear from Remo. In
Miami Beach, nothing was clear. Hurricane Megan had seen to that.
Even Chiun had been helpless, as his daytime serials were interrupted
by static. The Master of Sinanju looked heavenward in anger and then
to Remo’s surprise, turned off the television. ‘I’ve
never seen you do that before, and in the middle of As the Planet
Revolves.’ ‘One
cannot go against the forces of the universe. That is for fools. One
should use those forces and thus become stronger.’ ‘How
can you use a hurricane?’ asked Remo. ‘If you
need to know, you will know, when you are at peace with those
forces.’ ‘Well,
I need to know, Little Father, I need to know something.’ ‘Then
you will know it.’ ‘I will
know it. I will know it,’ said Remo, imitating the high-pitched
voice. ‘What will I know?’ He went to a large oak table
in the middle of the living room of the condominium apartment that he
had leased in Chiun’s name, using the last of the CURE money he
had. ‘What
will I know?’ he repeated and closed his right hand on
the corner of the table. ‘To focus the forces of my mind,’
he said, snapping off the corner of the table as if k were thin
plastic. ‘Hooray for the forces of the mind. We now have
a broken table and I am still helpless, ‘What
will I know, Little Father? To keep the centrality of my balance?’
And Remo’s feet hit the wall, then went to the ceiling, as if
yanked by wire cords, and then, back down to the carpet which he
caught with his neck. He rolled erect to his feet. ‘Hooray for
the forces of the mind. We now have footprints on the ceiling.
Helpless. I’m as helpless as you are. We’re helpless.
Don’t you understand. We’re just two crummy, helpless
assassins.’ ‘Just,’
said Chiun. ‘Just. Just. Just. You do not see. You do not hear
and you do not think. Just. Just. Just.’ ‘Just.
Just helpless,’ and Remo repeated how he had started his
mission to save CURE. He had gotten all that a frightened man could
tell him. Although
Chiun was deeply offended, he nodded that this had been correct. ‘And he
gave me the name of another man,’ Chiun nodded
that this, too, was correct^ ‘But
that man was dead.’ Chiun nodded
again, for there was still the alternative. ‘So I
waited for them to come after me.’ Chiun nodded,
for that, too, was correct. That was the alternative. ‘And no
one has come.’ Chiun thought
deeply and raised a long-nailed finger. ‘It is very difficult,
my son, when your enemy will not help you. This is rare, I must
admit, for most conflicts are won by those who help their foe the
least. This I have taught you. Is there another person connected with
this that you know?’ Remo shook
his head. ‘Only one,’ he said. ‘The mayor. And if I
should attack him, I would destroy myself, because it would mean that
all his stories about CURE and Folcroft have been true. So I would
gain nothing.’ Chiun thought
deeply again, and then he smiled. ‘I have
the answer. It is as simple as knowing who you are.’ Remo was
awed. The Master of Sinanju had seen through a difficult problem
again. ‘We
have lost,’ Chiun said, ’and knowing that, knowing that
our current emperor has lost his kingdom, we will seek a new emperor,
as Masters of Sinanju have done since there was a Sinanju and since
there were emperors.’ ‘That’s
your answer?’ ‘Of
course,’ said Chiun. ‘You have said it yourself. We are
assassins, not just assassins. Any man with a good mind can become a
doctor, and being an emperor is an accident of birth, or, in your
country, an accident of voters, and being an athlete is just the
happenstance of body combined with effort, but to be an assassin, a
Master of Sinanju, or a student of Sinanju - ah, that is something.
That is not for everyone.’ ‘You’re
as helpful as a hangover, Chiun.’ ‘What
is your problem? That you are what you are?’ Remo felt
frustration mount to the border of rage. ‘Little
Father. If the world were any sort of decent place to live, then I
wouldn’t be doing this. .. this.’ ‘So
that is it. You wish to change the world?’ ‘Yeah.’ Chiun smiled.
‘Better to stop the hurricane with a string. Are you speaking
truth to me?’ ‘Yes.
That’s what this organization that pays our salaries is about.’ ‘I did
not know that,’ said Chiun in amazement. ‘Changing
the world. Then we are truly lucky that we leave this kingdom, for
surely its emperor is mad.’ Tm not
leaving. I’m not letting Smith down. You can leave if you
wish.’ Chiun waved a
finger, signifying that he would not do this. ‘I have spent ten
years transforming worthless, meatpeating self-indulgent flab into
something almost approaching competence. I am not leaving my
investment.’ ‘All
right, then,’ said Remo. ‘Do you have any usable
suggestions?’ Tor a man who
wishes to change the world, no suggestion is usable.; Unless of
course you wish to stop the hurricane and transform it into little
streams that feed the rice fields.’ ‘How?’
Remo said. ‘If you
cannot make your enemies fight your fight, then you must fight their
fight, even if they should win. Because it is truly written that an
unjust man finds success to be the greatest failure of all.’ ‘Thanks,’
said Remo in disgust. He left the apartment and went downstairs,
where the aged residents were discussing the hurricane and how
hurricanes like this never happened in the Bronx, but Miami Beach was
so much nicer, wasn’t it? Most of the
people in the building were retired New Yorkers. Remo sat down in a
sofa in the lobby to think. All right. He forced his mind clear.
Farger had been a link, but he knew nothing. Moskowitz, the link
after Farger, had been broken with an ice pick. Normal tactics called
for Remo to go after Cartwright, but with Cartwright continually
screaming that the government was out to get him, an attack by Remo
would just lend weight to the charge, and CURE would be dead. Remo
felt a finger poke his arm. It was a chubby old lady in a print dress
with a warm smile. Remo tried to ignore her. The finger poked again. ‘Yes,’
said Remo. ‘You
have such a lovely father,’ said the woman. ‘So sweet and
gentle and kind. Not like my Morris. My husband Morris.’ ‘That’s
nice,’ said Remo. How could he make his opponents fight? ‘You
don’t look Korean,’ said the woman. Tm not,’
said Remo. ‘I
don’t mean to be nosey, but how could that sweet loveable human
being be your father if you’re not Korean?’ ‘What?’
said Remo. ‘You’re
not Korean.’ ‘No. Of
course, I’m not Korean.’ ‘You
should be nicer to your father. He’s too nice for words:’ ‘He’s
a real sweetheart,’ said Remo sarcastically. ‘I
detect a tone of disapproval.’ ‘He’s
wonderful. Wonderful,’ said Remo. Could Remo attack other
officials in the city government? Ones not involved with the League
papers? No. It would still be-too close. ‘You
should listen to your father more. He knows best.’ ‘Sure,’
said Remo. What could make the politicians come after him? ‘Your
father’s given you so much. We all cried when we heard what you
had done to him.’ Remo suddenly
tuned into the woman. ‘I’ve
done something to Chiun?’ he asked. ‘You have spoken to
Chiun?’ ‘Oh,
everyone speaks to Chiun. He’s so sweet. And to think his son
won’t carry on the tradition.’ ‘Did he
tell you what the tradition was?’ ‘Religious
something or other we didn’t understand. You help support
starving babies or something. Overseas relief. Right? But you don’t
want to do that for a living, right? You should listen to your
father. He’s such a nice man.’ ‘Please,’
Remo said. ‘I’m trying to think.’ ‘You go
ahead and think and don’t let me bother you. I know you’re
not an ingrate like everyone in the building says.’ ‘Thank
you for your confidence,’ Remo said. ‘Please leave me
alone.’ ‘That’s
no way to talk to the only person in this building who doesn’t
think you’re an ingrate.’ Remo looked
at his hands. They were useless. ‘You
should treasure your father. You should listen to him.’ All right,
lady. All right. I’ll listen to Chiun. What did he say? If you
can’t make your opponents fight your fight, then fight their
fight. What in the hell could that mean? Wait! Just suppose. Suppose
Remo had a candidate for mayor, and he could elect him. They’d
either have to come after Remo, or else lose the power they were
fighting to keep. Of course, because if Cartwright lost, he’d
wind up in jail. Once you’re in, you can always nail those who
are recently out. Okay. One for
Chiun. But how? Could Remo lean on every voter? Absurd. What about a
candidate? Anybody. But money? What about money? Remo no longer had
access to CURE finances. All he had were his hands. His worthless
hands. For the first
time in a decade, he had money troubles, a lot of them. ‘...
leaving that poor sweet old man alone upstairs what with all the
robberies that have been taking place.’ Remo tuned
back in on the conversation. Beautiful. That was it.
He rose from the sofa and kissed the startled woman on her cheek. ‘Beautiful,’
he said. ‘Absolutely beautiful.’ ‘Attractive,
maybe,’ said the woman, ’but beautiful, no. Now I have a
granddaughter, she’s beautiful. Are you married?’ CHAPTER
TEN THE
Bade County Airport was crowded and all flights to Puerto Rico were
booked because of two days of weather delays. Remo smiled
at the reservations clerk who had said she would try to get him out
on a flight the next day, and she said: ‘You’re cute.’ ‘So
are you,’ Remo said. ‘We ought to check this thing out
when I get back from Puerto Rico. But you’ve got to get me on
the next flight.’ ‘Let’s
check it out tonight,’ said the clerk in airlines blue. ‘You’re
not going to Puerto Rico tonight.’ ‘Not
even a standby?’ ‘Every
flight tonight has at least a half dozen standbys. You’ll never
get off tonight.’ ‘Put me
on standby,’ said Remo. ‘I feel lucky.’ ‘All
right. But you’d be better off at my place. That’s real
lucky.’ ‘You
bet,’ said Remo, winking. Who knew if she voted in Miami Beach
or not, and if he should be with his candidate, whoever he might be,
and she saw him, she just might vote for that candidate. Now he knew
why Chiun loathed politics. You had to be pleasant to people. She gave him
the flight number and Remo checked out the waiting area. It was
packed. Good. He saw the doors to the loading platform where a
uniformed clerk stood taking registrations and tickets. Good. Remo
spun around and went back down the aisle until he saw a waiting gate
which was not in use. He ducked into it and went to a loading door
which was locked. He cracked his way through it as if it were
designed to be cracked by any passerby, and then was out into the
rain-squawl remnant of the passed hurricane. Field lights blinked in
the distance and he could see the colored lights over the control
tower. How ironic, he thought. If CURE were still functioning, he
would only have to phone Smith and he could get an Air Force plane if
he wanted. And here he was trying to beat one of the peasants out of
a seat on an economy special to San Juan. He waited in
the night rain getting soaked, until an operations attendant in white
uniform with plastic ear protectors and baseball cap pulled over his
head trotted toward one of the hangars. Like a
wind at midnight, Remo was out onto the slick asphalt and he took the
man with a short slap at the back of the head, not enough for
concussions but enough to put him out. The man hadn’t even
begun to crumple when Remo spun him around, back toward the gate door
he had cracked through. Remo helped him out of his white coveralls,
baseball cap and earphones. Remo rolled the man to where asphalt met
siding and squeezed into the coveralls, pulling them on over his own
suit jacket and pants. Then he put on the earphones and cap and was
ready. He moved
along the side of the building counting doors until he got to his
Puerto Rican flight. He was standing there when the doors to the
airstrip opened. ‘This
flight 825 for Juan?’ he yelled in the area. A few
passengers, waiting for him to get out of their way so they could go
to the plane, mumbled yes. The ticket taker came from behind his
counter and looked at Remo in the disdainful manner visited on people
who work with their hands, by those in white shirts who make less. ‘This
is improper,’ said the clerk. ‘Improper,
hell. Is this flight taking off?’ ‘Of
course it is.’ Remo whistled
low and shook his head. ‘They
never listen. They never listen. All right, let them save two
thousand bucks a flight. Let them save it.’ The clerk, a
smooth-faced tedious compendium of propriety, raised his hands to
shush Remo. ‘Sure.
Let everybody know but the passengers,’ Remo said. ‘Will
you shut up?’ whispered the clerk angrily. ‘Won’t
make no difference,’ Remo said loudly. ‘That jet hits
five hundred feet, there ain’t gonna be anybody around to
compalin. Pheew. Nobody.’ ‘What’s
your name?’ demanded the clerk. ‘Just
the guy who tried to save the lives of innocent people. We’ve
had these engines in and out of the shop and we’ve been lucky.
But in this weather, no luck is gonna carry this cheap outfit.’ Remo turned
to the passengers. A young mother cradled her child in her arms. ‘Look,’
said Remo. ‘A little baby. For saving two grand on a crummy
flight, a little baby. And his mother. You bastards.’ With that,
Remo pulled his head back in, slammed the door behind him and went
back the way he came. He peeled off his coveralls and dropped them on
the still sleeping figure of the airlines man. When Remo
returned to the ticket counter, he was pleasantly surprised. There
was a sudden rash of cancellations for his flight. ‘Lucky,’
Remo said. ‘You
sure are,’ said the girl. ‘I don’t understand it.’ ‘I live
clean,’ said Remo squinching the rain from his hair. A few people
looked at him closely but none of the passengers on the ’doomed’
flight to San Juan recognized him as the flight attendant, whose
emotional outburst had left the plane with a half dozen empty seats. When the
plane landed, Remo caught a cab to a large fish packer, a specialist
in frozen fillets, who assured him that he packed for many major
American brands. But could the
man ship on delivery? Was he reliable? ‘Absolutely,
sir.’ Remo wasn’t
sure. He was in the hotel business and he had to be sure of
deliveries. If the man could guarantee him immediate air shipment,
Remo might consider him for really large regular orders. ‘In
twelve hours, you can have any order you want.’ Fine, Remo
said. Tomorrow morning would be fine. He picked out the fish he
wanted, and insisted that cartons be marked with an X painted red.
Right now. On all fifty boxes. Now Remo wanted them shipped inside
outer cartons with a good amount of dry ice. ‘We
know how to ship, senor.’ Perhaps, but
Remo knew what he wanted. He wanted red X’s on the outside
boxes also. The packer
shrugged. Remo gave the man the last of his money and said he would
pay the rest in the morning. ‘Cash?’
asked the packer suspiciously. ‘Of
course,’ Remo said. ‘We’re in a fast business. We
only pay our regular suppliers by checks.’ Remo realized that
made no sense at all, but he could tell that the packer thought there
might be something slightly illegal about Remo’s business, and
the packer liked that. He liked it so much, he added a little charge
to the shipment. ‘For
speedy delivery, senor.’ Remo feigned
mild outrage, the packer feigned mild innocence, and the deal was
consummated. When he
left the packer, Remo had only enough money left for a cab to the new
hotel strip just outside San Juan. For some strange reason, he felt
suddenly hungry when he was unable to buy food. He had not wanted for
anything since he was recruited. Remo
felt the hot sun of San Juan and let the hunger linger. That felt
good, because he had been trained to control his hunger as he
controlled his muscles and nerves. He enjoyed the pains in his
stomach until they became unenjoyable and then, as he had been taught
years before by the Master of Sinanju, he brought relaxation down his
chest and into his stomach. The Japanese
Samurai, Chiun had said, pretended they had eaten a meal and in this
way tricked their minds into tricking their stomachs. This was a bad
way to deal with hunger because it was an untruth, and he who loses
the truth with himself becomes blind in a small way, and to be blind
was to die. In Sinanju,
the masters knew their bodies and would not tell them lies. Hunger
was the body telling the truth. Do not deny the pain, but accept it
and leave it. You have the pain, but not as something that bothers
you. Remo had
thought he would never understand and never learn, but his body
learned without him, and one day he was just doing the things Chiun
had taught him, although he did not know how he did them. Remo
located the power station he wanted, and waited then until the
darkness of past midnight. He checked the very light plastic suit
folded into his jacket pocket and the rubber mask folded in the
other. No point in going ahead unprepared, he thought. Inside the
power station, Remo eloquently explained to the chief engineer what
he wanted. ‘Show
me how to turn off the power for several hours or I’ll break
your other arm.’ The chief
engineer, rolling on the floor in agony, thought this offer made
eminent sense. He mumbled something Remo could hardly understand
about backing up and currents and all the things chief engineers were
expected to know about. What it came down to was pulling the lever on
the top of the panel and the lever on the bottom at the same time. ‘The
one with the little squidget kind of thing?’ asked Remo. ‘Si’
said the engineer, moaning. Thanks,’
said Remo, and pulled both levers simultaneously. He was in darkness.
San Juan’s hotel strip, across the highway from him, was in
darkness too. ‘I will
wait here and if you so much as move,’ Remo said, ‘I will
kill you.’ And then, with the quiet of a lynx on a fur blanket,
Remo was out of the power station with the engineer still believing
that the monster was with him. The El
Diablo and the Columbia Hotels are the largest on the strip,
separated only by an alley. Their gambling rooms stay open until 4
a.m., but now in the predawn darkness, the gambling stopped, and the
men reached for candles and flashlights. Remo was into the El Diablo
by the front door as bellboys and managers searched for lights. The
night manager of the hotel knew exactly what to do in a power
blackout. When the lights went out, he slammed shut the safe,
according to regulatory precautions. He stood by
it with a pistol, according to regulatory precautions. What was not
in the regulations was the incredibly severe pain
at the base of his spinal column. He was told how he could end the
pain and since he wanted that more than anything else in the world,
he did what he was told. He opened the safe by the light of a candle,
and when it was opened, and Remo saw where the bundles and bags of
gambling money were, he blew out the candle. From his jacket pocket,
he removed the full rubber head mask and stuffed the face with money.
He filled the chest cavity of the suit with money, and moving his arm
into the empty arm of the one-piece jumpsuit, held the chest money
which supported the head money, and for all practical purposes, it
looked as if he held a dummy at the end of his arm. Except in the
darkness, it did not look like a dummy, but a man who was holding on
to Remo for support. Remo moved through the bustling confusion and
vagrant flashing lights, saying ‘Man injured. Man injured.’ But no one
could be bothered with an injured man. After all, was that not the
night manager yelling about a robbery? ‘Injured
man,’ yelled Remo as he crossed the alley to the Columbia
Hotel, but he was ignored, for men’s jobs were at stake and
these jobs depended on the most important thing at a casino. Money. ‘Injured
man,’ yelled Remo, moving to the manager’s office of the
Columbia. ‘Get
that sonofabitch out of here,’ yelled the manager of the
Columbia, thinking that if there ever was a negligence suit, he could
deny what he had said in court, and it would be his word against the
word of the two guests. Then he no
longer cared about his word or anyone else’s word. He cared
only about the incredible pain in his stomach. He too was told how he
could make this pain stop, and he did, so Remo put him to sleep and
filled out the rest of the dummy suit with more money. Into the
lobby went Remo, only now, for the police, he was a drunk with a
drunken buddy, trying to tell them how to do their job. ‘You
get the hell out of here,’ ordered a police captain, ’or
you’re under arrest.’ Chastened the
two drunks moved off, out of the lobby, into the night. Remo felt a
hand on his shoulder and turned to see a policeman, high-peaked
island hat and all. ‘Okay,
buddy,’ the cop said, ‘I know your game. Something big is
happening, and you want to get arrested, so that later you can brag
about how you were arrested on the big night. Well, we’re not
stupid mainland gringos here. So get moving.’ And roughly,
the police officer pushed Remo and his friend past the squad cars,
down the street, and the officer waited until the two drunks had
left. ‘Damned
gringo and their emotional problems,’ said the officer, who had
just taken a course in psychology for a promotion he hoped someday to
get. The packing
house was closed when Remo broke a window lock, made his way to the
freezer, found the boxes marked with the red X, and replaced much of
the dry ice with money. He kept two handfuls of one hundred dollar
bills, and then left through the window. He shredded the suit and
mask in a nearby trash can and waited for the manager to arrive. ‘Punctual,’
Remo said, as the manager arrived with the first rays of dawn. ‘I
like that.’ Remo paid the remainder of the charges in cash and
promised an order five times as big if this delivery was really as
prompt as the manager promised. He made this promise as sincerely as
possible, because he was entering politics and one had to be sincere
in politics when one told lies. The manager
personally drove his new customer to the airport. On the trip, Remo
mentioned several names he had read in a CURE report, men whose Mafia
connections Stateside were immaculate. The manager caught the drift
of the conversation and assured Remo of his fidelity, ‘Fidelity
is a very healthy thing,’ said Remo. The manager
understood completely. Remo gave him
a little present for himself. A half-inch of money. ‘You
are too generous,’ said the manager, wondering exactly what
Remo’s mob connections were. ‘Spend
it in good health,’ Remo said. ‘Be sure to spend it in
good health.’ On the
plane, Remo read in the San Juan paper the reports of the robbery.
Brilliant, cunning, masterfully executed, well planned. The paper
reported that a team of men - one injured - simultaneously robbed the
two largest hotels. The cash loss was estimated at $2.5 million. Remo
would have to check that out against his fish which were due to
arrive in Miami an hour after he did. He didn’t think he had
gotten that much. Probably employees had filched some. Maybe even the
police. These things happened sometimes during big robberies. He felt
angry that there were so many crooks in the world. He went to
the New York Times, feeling self-righteous and self-satisfied.
Nothing there about the robbery. It had happened too late for the
early editions of the Times which was flown to the island. In the
back sections of the paper was a picture of a stunning, knockout
blonde in an evening gown. She was, the caption said, the Madison
Avenue genius, Dorothy Walker of Walker, Handleman and Baser. An
accompanying story said that her firm had never lost an account, and
never failed to sell the client’s product. Remo looked at the
face that stared at him off the page. Smart, cultured, professional,
and she looked as if she had great boobs, to boot. Done.
Decided. Walker, Handleman and Daser, which had never lost, would run
the campaign for Remo’s candidate for mayor. All he needed was
a candidate for mayor, and that would be no problem for a man who
was, as the San Juan robbery reports had it, ’brilliant,
cunning, a masterful planner.’ ‘Brilliant,’
he mumbled to himself, reading again about the robbery. Perhaps if he
had been running CURE instead of Smith, there never would have been
the foulup and the leak in Miami Beach. Well, he would plug up the
leaks and get Smith out of his little jam, try to give him some
advice on proper security. Chiun was
wrong when he advised Remo to know what he could do and what he could
not do. He was wrong in limiting his vision to doing what his father
had done before him. That was the Oriental mind. Remo was American.
There were new horizons, especially for brilliant and cunning people.
How Chiun was afraid for people who thought they were brilliant. ‘When
you think you are brilliant, my son,’ he had said, ’that
is the beginning of stupidity, for you shut out all those senses that
tell you of your weaknesses. And he who does not know his weaknesses
cannot feed the babies of Sinanju,’ CHAPTER
ELEVEN HURRICANE
Megan had passed and Miami Beach basked again in tropical mellowness.
The Master of Sinanju sat on his balcony, warming himself in the
dying sun, contemplating the disaster of someone with skills, Sinanju
skills, lowering himself to politics. It was not a pleasant
contemplation. In his life,
he had had two pupils. One, although Korean, a relative, and a
villager of Sinanju, had been a complete loss. The other had proved
to be a pleasant surprise, a white man, an American white man who had
learned with exceeding swiftness the teachings of Sinanju. And Chiun had
taught him thus. He had taken a white man and made him almost worthy
to assume the role of Master of Sinanju. With a Japanese, it would
have been almost impossible, but with a white man, it was
unthinkable, yet Chiun had done this thing, teaching his pupil to
know the forces of man and nature, and to assume the responsibility
for feeding Sinanju when the time came for its current master to
return his body to the waters of time. Now this
pupil was to become a salesman of people. The thought made Chiun very
unhappy. It was as if a beautiful swan were to try to burrow through
the mud like a worm. He would have to tell Remo that, but Remo still
had a way of not listening. The doorbell
buzzer interrupted the thoughts of the Master of Sinanju and he left
his balcony to answer it. It was Ethel Hirshberg with her friends.
They had come to keep him company. Chiun liked
these women, especially Mrs. Hirshberg, who had come to his rescue at
the baggage rack at the airport. They knew how to understand tragedy
and mourning. They appreciated what it was like to have children who
did not appreciate what their parents had done for them. They
appreciated the great daytime television dramas, the finest art form
of the western world. And they played Mah Jongg. That the
woman did not know they were in the presence of the deadliest single
killer in the world was not due to a lack of perception. People only
understand what they already know, and seeing this frail old man with
such sensitive features, hearing him talk of the babies of Sinanju,
they naturally believed he raised money for babies, because they, in
their lives, had spent much time raising money for such causes. They
did not know that the babies of Sinanju were fed by deaths, performed
for salary by the Master. Such was
their concern and affection for Chiun that when a mugger was reported
in the building the night before, they all ran out with pots and pans
to save Chiun, because they knew he was taking his evening stroll at
the time. Fortunately, the mugger was found in a stairwell. Police
theorized that he had been hit with a sledgehammer in the chest,
although no sledgehammer was found and although the coroner privately
pointed out that to inflict so much damage, the sledgehammer would
have had to be dropped from a height of four miles. But the coroner
said nothing publicly, since a mugger was a mugger was a mugger, and
however they were gotten rid of was a benefit to mankind, in his
opinion. In the
opinion of the ladies of the apartment building, it was goodness
coming to goodness that Chiun had been spared. Now they had
a surprise for him. One of the ladies’ sons was a writer for
the most successful adventure show of the season. And wouldn’t
Chiun be happy to know it was about an Oriental? ‘It’s
coming on now,’ squealed Mrs. Hirshberg. Chiun sat on
the large sofa between Mrs. Hirshberg and Mrs. Levy. He watched the
opening credits tolerantly, as the hero of the series trudged across
the desert sand. But he moved forward on the couch to watch an
opening flashback when the hero relived his childhood in the Orient
and his training in the arts of combat. He sat that
way, shaking his head, through the entire show, and as soon as it was
over, he bade the women good night because he was tired. He still sat
on the sofa when Remo came home. There was a
very evil thing on the television tonight,’ he said as Remo
came through the door, ‘Oh?’ ‘Yes,
an evil thing.’ ‘Oh. Am
I allowed to know what this evil thing was?’ ‘A
program told of the Shaolin priests, as if they were wise and good
men.’ Chiun said this in a voice that reached for outrage, then
looked to Remo as if for solace. ‘So?’
Remo said. ‘The
Shaolin were chicken thieves, who took refuge from the police in a
monastery. And because it was better to have them in a monastery than
in the countryside stealing chickens, they were allowed to live there
and to masquerade as priests.’ ‘I
see,’ Remo said, although he did not see at all.’ ‘You do
not see at all,’ Chiun said. ‘It is evil to deceive
people into believing well of people of whom only ill should be
thought.’ ‘It’s
only a show, for crying out loud,’ Remo said. ‘But
think of the people it can mislead.’ ‘Well,
then, write a letter to the producer and complain.’ ‘Do you
think that will do any good?’ ‘No,’
Remo said, ’but it’ll make you feel better.’ ‘Then I
will not do that. I will do something else.’ Remo
showered. When he came out, Chiun was seated at the table in the
kitchen, pencil in hand, paper in front of him. He looked up
at Remo. ‘How do
you spell Howard Cosell?’ he asked. CHAPTER
TWELVE OF
course, Willard Farger remembered Remo. How could he ever forget
such a good interviewer? No, no, no, he wasn’t nervous; he
always sweated in the spring heat of Bade County. Certainly. Even in
his air-conditioned home. That’s
good,’ Remo said. ‘A little sweat is good for a man who’s
going to be the next mayor of Miami Beach.’ Farger looked
at Remo closely to see if he were joking, then thought it over for a
full tenth of a second and smiled because the thought gave him
pleasure, then shook his head in resigned sadness. ‘Maybe
someday, but not this year.’ ‘Why
not?’ Remo said. ‘It’s
too late. The election’s next week. There’s no way to get
on the ballot this year,’ ‘No
way?’ ‘No
way,’ Farger said. ‘I made my move too late.’ He
was beginning to relax just a little, as each passing second made his
assurance grow that Remo was not, for the moment, going to bury him
in a swamp or bury an ice pick in his head. ‘Could
you replace a candidate if one, say, dies?’ Remo asked coldly,
and Farger stopped relaxing. He sat up straight in his chair. ‘No.
I’m the fourth deputy assistant commissioner of elections. I
know the law. There’s no way.’ Remo leaned
back on Farger’s living room couch and propped his feet up on a
plastic tile coffee table. ‘Okay,
then., If you can’t be mayor, you’ll make a great
campaign manager. Who do we support?’ Farger took a
deep breath. Without even thinking, he started off, ‘That’s
where I draw the line, Mr. Remo. I have supported Mayor Gartwright
since he first sought public office; I have no intention now of
deserting his leadership, doubly so since it is now under attack by
an insidious encroachment of the federal. ...’ ‘Do you
want to join your car?’ Remo interrupted. Farger shook
his head. ‘All
right. Then you’re the campaign manager. Now who is our
candidate? Besides Cartwright.’ ‘But...
I’ll lose my job.’ ‘There
are worse things to lose.’ ‘And my
pension rights.’ ‘You
have to live to spend it.’ ‘And my
family. How will they live?’ ‘How
much do you make a year?’ Remo asked. ‘Ten-five.’
Farger said. Remo reached
inside his jacket pocket and pulled out two sheaves of bills. He
tossed them on the coffee table. ‘There’s two years pay.
Now who do we support?’ Farger looked
at the money, at Remo, then at the money again, as his brain made
calculations behind his narrowed eyes. ‘You can’t support
Cartwright?’ ‘No,’
Remo said. ‘Anyone who’d lie about the federal government
the way he did ... who’d deceive an honest, decent man like you
into lying, can’t be returned to office. Who else is running?’ ‘That’s
the problem,’ Farger said. ‘Nobody’s running.’ ‘Come
on,’ Remo said. ‘What is Cartwright, a king or something?
Of course, someone else is running.’ ‘Well,
there are some people,’ said Farger, with an inflection of
distaste that, if recorded, would have ended forever his dreams of
the presidency. ‘Who
are?’ ‘One is
Mrs. Ertle McBargle. She’s head of "Abortion Now".
Then there’s Gladys Tweedy. She’s with the SPCA and wants
to turn the town into an animal compound.’ ‘Forget
them,’ Remo interrupted. ‘No women.’ Farger
shrugged and sighed. ‘And then there’s Mac Polaney.’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘This
is the 47th time he’s run for public office. The last time he
ran for President. When he didn’t win, he said the country
wasn’t ready for him. He’s not wrapped too tight.’ ‘What
does he do?’ ‘A
disabled veteran. Lives on a pension. He lives on a houseboat down
along the bay.’ ‘How
old?’ Farger
shrugged. ‘Fiftyish?’ ‘Honest?’ ‘So
honest he makes people sick. When he came back from service,
everybody was trying to do something for veterans, so somebody got
the bright idea to give him a job with the county. Fanfare, newspaper
publicity and all.’ ‘What
happened?’ ‘He
quit the job three weeks later. He said that nobody gave him any work
to do. If I remember right, he said that wasn’t unusual because
no one seemed to know anything about work, most of all their own. And
in like vein.’ ‘Sounds
like our man,’ Remo said. ‘An honest, decorated war hero
with vast political experience.’ ‘A
poetry-spouting ninny who won’t get a thousand votes.’ ‘How
many will vote next week?’ ‘Forty
thousand or so.’ ‘Then
all we got to do is get 20,000 more for... what’s his name?’ ‘Mac
Polaney.’ ‘Yeah.
Mac Polaney, Mayor Polaney. Mayor Mac Polaney. The people’s
choice.’ ‘The
world’s choice ... nitwit.’ ‘That’s
no way for his campaign manager to talk,’ Remo reminded Farger.
‘Now what are his special issues? What horses are we going to
ride to victory at the polls?’ He had heard a campaign manager
once who sounded just like that. Farger
allowed himself a sneak’s smile. ‘Just a minute,’
he said. ‘See for yourself. I’ve got it right -here.’
He handed Remo a copy of the Miami Beach Journal, already turned to
an inside page. Remo took it
and read: CANDIDATE
CALLS FOR BLACKOUT
OF
POLITICAL CAMPAIGN ACTIVITY It was a
little headline, accompanied by a little story which read: Mac
Polaney, making his 48th try for public office in next week’s
mayoral race, today called upon all the other mayoral candidates to
join him in halting all campaign activity. ‘The
weather has turned nice,’ Polaney said, in what he said would
be his campaign’s only press release, ’and it’s a
great time to go fishing. So I’d like to invite the other
candidates to join me on my houseboat for a fishing trip through the
bay. That way, without politicians yakking around the city, people
can enjoy the nice weather. (The lady candidates can bring
chaperones; Mayor Gartwright can bring his keeper.) ‘Sunshine
is nicer than politicians anyway and fishing is great for the soul.
So what do you say, man and ladies, let’s cast our lines into
God’s great blue waters.’ ‘The
other candidates declined to comment.’ Remo put the
newspaper back onto the table. ‘The perfect man for us,’
he said. ‘The first politician I ever heard who had his finger
on the people’s pulse.’ ‘Now
wait,’ Farger said. ‘That’s not all. Last week, he
called for the abolition of the police department. He said that if
everybody would just promise not to commit any more crimes, we
wouldn’t need police. And then we could cut taxes.’ ‘Good
idea,’ Remo said. ‘And
before that,’ Farger said in growing desperation, ’he
said we ought to abolish the street-cleaning department. If he was
elected mayor, he said, he would assign a different city
councilman each day to duty picking up candy wrappers.’ ‘Obviously
an activist,’ Remo said. ‘Willing to dig in and face up
honestly to the problems confronting us.’ ( ‘No,’
Farger shouted, startling himself by his loudness. Softly, he said,
‘No, no, no, no, no. If I get involved with him, my political
career is dead.’ ‘And if
you don’t, Willard, you’re dead. Now make up your mind.’ There was a
millisecond pause in the living room before Farger said: ‘We’ll
need a campaign headquarters.’ CHAPTER
THIRTEEN MAC POLANEY’s
houseboat was tied up to an old tire, nailed to a rickety dock on a
small rivulet that muddied its way inland from the bay. The
next mayor of Miami Beach was wearing green flowered shorts, a red
mesh undershirt, black sneakers with no socks and a chartreuse
baseball cap. He sat on a folding lawn chair on the deck of the
houseboat, stringing gut leader onto fishhooks, when Remo drove up,
got out of his car and walked to the boat. ‘Mr.
Polaney?’ Remo said. ‘Won’t
do you no good, son,’ Polaney said without looking up. He was,
Remo gauged, in his early fifties, but he had the strong, melodic
voice of a younger man. ‘What
won’t do me any good?’ ‘I
won’t name you secretary of defense. No how, no how. I don’t
even think Miami Beach needs a secretary of defense. Maybe Los
Angeles. I mean, anybody who knows Los Angeles knows that they
could start a war. But not Miami Beach. Nope. So you ain’t got
a chance, son. Might just as well move along.’ As if to
accentuate the point, his shoulders hunched forward and he bent to
his work of hook-rigging with increased fervor. ‘But
how are we going to deal with the Cuban missile threat?’ Remo
said. ‘Only ninety miles away, aimed right down our gullets.’ ‘See.
That’s what I mean,’ Polaney said, standing up and
looking at Remo for the first time. He was a tall lean man, tanned to
a nut brown, with laugh wrinkles around the eyes that threatened to
squeeze them shut. ‘You militarists are all alike. One bomb,
two bombs, four bombs, eight bombs ... where does it end?’ ‘Sixteen
bombs?’ Remo suggested. ‘Sixteen
bombs, thirty-two bombs, sixty-four bombs, one hundred and
twenty-eight bombs, two hundred and fifty-six bombs, five hundred and
twelve bombs... what’s after five hundred and twelve?’ ‘Five
hundred and thirteen?’ Polaney
chuckled. His eyes did shut. Then he snapped them open wide. ‘Pretty
good,’ he said. ‘How would you like to be city
treasurer?’ ‘Well,
I had my heart set on being secretary of defense. But I’ll take
it. As long as I don’t have to do anything dishonest.’ Td never ask
you to,’ Polaney said. ‘Just vote for me. And smile once
in a while. Mark my words bub, the Cuban missile threat will take
care of itself if we just give it a chance. Most threats and crises
do. The only thing you can really do to screw them up is to try to
solve them. If you just let things alone, they’ll work out.’ ‘You
hand out job offers pretty freely,’ Remo said. ‘You
bet your sweet everloving. You’re the three hundred and seventy
first person I’ve offered the treasury to.’ He pulled a
pad out from under a Coca Cola crate on the deck. ‘What’s
your name? Gotta write it down.’ ‘The
name’s Remo. But how can you do that? Promise everybody the
same job?’ ‘Easy,
bub. I ain’t gonna win.’ ‘That
doesn’t sound like a politician talking.’ ‘Politician?
Me? Heck. All I know about politics is that I can’t win.’ ‘Why
not?’ ‘First
of all, I don’t have any support. No one’s gonna vote for
no old fisherman. Second, I don’t have any money. Third, I
can’t get any money because I won’t make any deals with
the people who’ve got money. So I lose. Q.E.D.’ ‘Why do
you keep running?’ ‘I
think it’s a man’s duty to contribute to the governmental
process.’ ‘Most
people do it by voting,’ Remo said. ‘That’s
true, bub. But I don’t vote. At least not in the city. Not for
any of those crooks that run. So, if I can’t vote, I’ve
got to do something else. So I run. And lose.’ Remo,
overwhelmed by the sheer majesty of the logic, paused momentarily
before asking: ‘How’d you like to win?’ ‘Who
would I have to kill?’ ‘Nobody,’
said Remo. ‘That’s my department. All you’d have to
do is be honest. Don’t go on the take. Don’t go shaking
down contractors. Don’t make deals with the mob.’ ‘Hell,
son, that’s easy. All my life, I’ve been not doing those
things.’ ‘Then
you just have to keep doing what comes naturally. You interested?’ Polaney sat
back down on the lawn chair. ‘You’d better come aboard
and tell me what’s on your mind.’ Remo hopped
up onto the deck railing, and then lightly skipped over it. He sat on
the Coke case next to Polaney. ‘Just
this,’ he said. ‘I think you can win. I’ll put up
the money. I’ll get your campaign managers, your workers. I’ll
handle the advertising and the commercials.’ ‘And
what do I do?’ Polaney asked. ‘Do
what you want. Fish a little. Maybe if you feel like it, campaign a
little.’ Remo considered that for a moment, then quickly added,
‘Better yet. We’ll get pros in. See what they say about
whether you should campaign or not.’ ‘AH
right, bub. Your moment for truth telling. What do you get out of
it?’ "The
knowledge that I’ve helped to clean up a great city by putting
an honest man in the mayor’s office.’ ‘That’s
all?’ ‘That’s
all.’ ‘No
sewer contracts?’ Remo shook
his head. ‘You
don’t want to build schools with watered-down cement?’ Remo shook
his head. ‘You
don’t want to name the next police commissioner?’ ‘Not
even the next city treasurer,’ Remo said. ‘Those
are all the right answers, boy. Cause if you said yes to any of them,
you were like to go for an unscheduled swim in the river.’ ‘I
don’t swim,’ Remo said. ‘And I
don’t play ball.’ ‘Good.
Then we understand each other.’ Polaney put
down the hooks he held in his gnarled leathered hands and fixed Remo
with his pale blue eyes. ‘If you got all this money you say you
got, how come Cartwright let you get away? He watches out for rich
fish like you.’ ‘I
couldn’t support Gartwright,’ Remo said. ‘Not after
all this nonsense about League papers and stuff. Not after those
cheap attacks on the federal government.’ Polaney’s
eyes narrowed as he looked at Remo, then wiped his forehead with the
back of his wrist. ‘You don’t look like a nut,’ he
said. ‘I’m
not. Just somebody who loves America.’ . Polaney
sprang to his feet and slapped his hat over his heart in a civilian
salute. Then Remo saw the small nickel-and-dime store flag on the
rear of the boat. He wondered if he should chance a laugh. Polaney
reached down a strong hand and yanked Remo to his feet, ‘Salute,
boy. It’s good for the soul.’ Remo
put his hand over his heart and stood there, side by side with
Polaney. Here we are, he thought, the two biggest lunatics in the
Western Hemisphere. One lunatic wants to be mayor, and the other
lunatic wants to make the first lunatic get his wish. Finally,
Polaney clapped his hand to his side, before putting his hat on. ‘I put
my life in your hands,’ Polaney said. ‘What do you want
me to do?’ ‘Go
fishing,’ Remo said. ‘See if you can come up with
anything not too greasy. I can’t eat oily fish. And I’ll
be in touch.’ ‘Son,’
Polaney said. ‘You’re a flake.’ ‘Yeah.
Ain’t it the truth. Now let’s go win an election.; And
don’t forget. No oily fish.’ ‘How
about that for a campaign slogan?’ ‘I
don’t think it’s got enough crowd appeal,’ Remo
said. ‘Anyway, I’ve got an idea for an advertising
agency. Let them pick a slogan.’ He hopped
down to the dock and headed back for his car. Halfway there, he
turned. ‘Hey, Mac,’ he called. ‘What made you think
I wanted to be secretary of defense?’ Polaney was
already back at work on his hooks. Without looking up, he said: ‘I
saw you get out of the car. You look like a man who might start a
war.’ He turned to Remo. ‘Right?1 ‘I’d
rather finish one,’ Remo said. CHAPTER
FOURTEEN ‘WALKER,
Handleman and Baser.’ ‘Who’s
in charge there?’ Remo asked the telephone voice. ‘What
does it have reference to?’ the female voice answered, over the
1,500 miles of distance between Florida and New York. ‘It has
reference to $100,000 for a week’s work,’ Remo said,
hoping the girl was impressed. ‘Just a
moment, sir.’ She was. So was Mr.
Handleman to whom Remo talked next. Equally impressed was Mr. Daser
to whom Remo talked after that. They were so impressed they were
going to try to reach Dorothy. ‘Dorothy?’ ‘Yes.
The Walker of Walker, Handleman and Daser.’ Remo nodded
to himself, remembering the blonde of the New York Times. ‘Just
walk over to her office and tell her you’ve got a fish on a
line.’ ‘I’m
sorry, Mr. ... er ... you didn’t give your name.’ ‘That’s
right, I didn’t give my name.’ ‘She’s
on vacation.’ ‘Where?’
Remo asked. ‘She’s
visiting her father in Miami Beach.’ ‘That’s
where I am,’ Remo said. ‘Where can I reach her? ‘I’ll
have her call you,’ Mr. Baser said. ‘Try to
do it fast,’ Remo said and gave Baser the number where he could
be reached. ‘The name is Remo,’ he said. Ten minutes
later the telephone rang again. ‘This
is Borothy Walker,’ a cultured Manhattan voice said. Td like you
to run a campaign for me.’ ‘Oh?
What kind of a campaign.’ ‘A
political campaign.’ ‘I’m
sorry. We don’t do political campaigns.’ ‘Look.
I’m talking about $100,000 for a week’s work.’ ‘Mr.
Remo, I’d like to help, but we don’t do political
campaigns.’ ‘You
can sell air conditioners that don’t work and paper towels with
the absorbency of sandpaper and cigarettes that are made out of
sawdust and you can’t elect a mayor for Miami Beach?’ There was a
pause. Then, ‘I didn’t say we couldn’t, Mr. Remo. I
said, we don’t. Who is your candidate by the way?’ ‘A
gentleman named Mac Polaney,’ Remo said. Thinking of the gaunt
fisherman on his homemade houseboat, Remo said: ‘A courtly,
cultured gentleman. A decorated veteran of World War II, with a
reputation for honesty, broad political experience. A PR man’s
dream.’ ‘You
make it sound very inviting, Mr. Remo, Let me call you back. But
don’t get your hopes up. We don’t handle political
campaigns.’ ‘You’ll
handle this one,’ said Remo, confidently, ’particularly
if you meet our candidate. To meet him is to love him.’ ‘And
he’s a politician?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Sounds
unbelievable.’ ‘He’s
an unbelievable man,’ Remo said. Tm beginning
to think so are you. You’ve almost made me interested.’ ‘Call
me back soon,’ Remo said. Remo hung up
and sprawled out on his couch to await the return call. Less than two
miles away, Dorothy Walker hung up the telephone, left her luxurious
cabin and walked to the bow of the ship where her father, Marshal
Dworshansky, sat in the sun. He was very
interested in her caller, as she had known he would be. ‘He
offered you one hundred thousand dollars?’ ‘Yes.
But I stalled him.’ Marshal
Dworshansky clapped his hands in glee. ‘Take it,’ he
said. ‘This is the man we’ve been waiting for, and now he
is delivering himself right into our hands. Marvelous,’ he
chortled. ‘Marvelous. Take it.’ ‘But
how will I handle it?’ his daughter said. ‘One week to do
a political campaign?’ ‘My
dear, I know you believe in the power of advertising and public
opinion. However, in this case, the only opinion that counts is mine.
The campaign is over. Nothing can stop Mayor Cartwright from winning.
So do whatever you want for this Mr. Remo.’ ‘Why
bother if he’s no threat?’ ‘Because
he is the enemy, and it is good to know what the enemy plans.’ Minutes
later, Dorothy Walker was back in her stateroom calling Remo. ‘We’ve
decided-----,’ she began. ‘We?’ ‘I’ve
decided it’s about time that Walker, Handleman and Daser moved
into politics. This will be a great campaign in which to practice our
new theories of communication. The idea of maximum message carrying
to maximum quanta of people at....’ ‘At
maximum cost,’ Remo interrupted. ‘Look, you and I have
gotten along fine by talking English. Let’s continue that way,
all right? You just do whatever it is you people do, and don’t
tell me about it.’ ‘As you
wish,’ Dorothy Walker said, and then, because she was
interested in her father’s enemy, she added: ‘Perhaps we
could discuss the financial arrangements tonight. At dinner?’ ‘Okay,’
Remo said. Tick someplace where you have credit. You’re
supposed to wine and dine us wealthy eccentric clients, aren’t
you?’ ‘De
rigeur’ she said. Remo had had
enough experience with newspaper photos not to expect too much of
Dorothy Walker in person. He would not have been shocked if she had
shown up looking like Maria Ouspenskay a, fresh off a gypsy wagon. But he was
not prepared for what showed up at the Ritz Hotel, where he waited in
the massive dining room, sipping water. First came
Dorothy Walker, stunningly blonde and tan, a fortyish beauty who
looked twenty. And with her was a twenty-year-old blonde carbon copy
who seemed to have the look of having tantalized men for forty years.
They wore matching acqua cocktail dresses. A sound meter
could have charted their progress along the aisle of the dining room,
because each table stilled in succession as they walked by, following
the matre d’, whose show of attention let it be known
that they were very important people indeed. ‘Mister
Remo?’ the older woman asked when she arrived at his table. Remo stood
up. ‘Miss Walker?’ ‘Mrs.
Walker. And this is my daughter, Teri.? The waiter
seated them, and Dorothy Walker said, ‘Well, what do you want
us to do for all that money?’ ‘If I
told you, you’d have me arrested.’ ‘One
never knows,’ she laughed. ‘One never knows.’ They ate
baked stuffed clams, sizzling in melted butter, and while Remo toyed
with a piece of celery, he and Mrs. Walker reached agreement on the
deal. One hundred thousand dollars for one week’s work, with
Remo to pay all additional costs, including newspaper space, air
time, and production costs. ‘Should
I have my lawyer draw a contract?’ Mrs. Walker asked. ‘I deal
in handshakes,’ Remo said. ‘I trust you.’ ‘I
trust you too, but even though we’ve never done political
campaigns, I know something about them.’ Dorothy Walker said.
‘All payment must be in advance because, God forbid, a
candidate should lose - they never pay.’ ‘That’s
called incentive to make sure your candidates never lose,’ Remo
said. He moved a hand toward his inside jacket pocket. ‘You
want the money now?’ ‘No
hurry. Tomorrow will be fine.’ The women ate
escarole salad with Roquefort dressing, as Remo munched on a radish. ‘Ten
will handle the campaign for you,’ Dorothy Walker said.
‘Because of my position, I can’t take it publicly. But
having Ten means that you’ll have me.’ Her eyes smiled at
Remo. He wondered if she had meant anything more than business by
that sentence. ‘You understand?’ ‘Of
course,’ Remo said. ‘You want to be able to take credit
if we win, but you don’t want to be tagged personally with a
loser.’ Mrs. Walker
laughed. ‘That’s right. By the way, I’ve checked
around. There is no way your Mr. Mac Polaney can win. He is regarded
as the quintessential nut in a town of quintessential nuts.’ ‘There
are more things happening in heaven and earth than are dreamed of on
Madison Avenue,’ Remo said. The women had
veal cordon bleu and Remo had rice, which Mrs. Walker
pretended not to notice but which Teri Walker found exciting. ‘Why
just rice?’ she said. ‘Zen,’
Remo said. ‘Wow.’ ‘We
want total artistic control,’ Dorothy Walker said. ‘We
won’t work any other way.’ ‘That
means you decide on commercials and advertising and slogans?’
Remo asked. She nodded. ‘Well,
of course,’ Remo said. ‘Why would I hire you if I wanted
to do things myself?’ ‘You’d
be surprised at how many clients don’t feel that way,’
Dorothy Walker said. During
coffee, Mrs. Walker excused herself for the ladies’ room. Remo watched
Teri Walker closely as she drank her coffee, her fine, tanned young
muscles moving sleekly as she moved slightly in her chair. She bubbled
at him with conversation about his goals for urban government, the
nature of Mac Polaney, and about something which she called ’the
handle we have to get on this campaign.’ ‘Your
first campaign?’ Remo asked. She nodded. ‘Mine
too,’ he said. ‘We’ll learn together.’ She finished
the last sip of her coffee and asked Remo, ‘By the way, why’d
you pick us?’ ‘Somebody
told me you and your mother had great boobs. I figured I might as
well enjoy looking at the campaign staff.’ Teri Walker
laughed, loud and full throated. ‘Grandpa
will just love you,’ she said. Willard
Farger had rented a suite of six connecting rooms in the Maya Motel.
He called it campaign headquarters and staffed it with three girls
who looked as if they had last campaigned in a Las Vegas chorus line. "They’re
secretaries,’ Farger insisted to Remo. ‘Somebody’s
got to type and answer phones and things.’ ‘I
see,’ Remo said. ‘Where are the phones and typewriters
and things?’ Farger
snapped his fingers. ‘I knew there was something I forgot.’
> Remo beckoned
Farger with a crooked finger and led him into one of the back rooms.
He locked the door behind them. ‘Sit down,’ he growled
and tossed Farger into a chair. Remo sat on the bed, facing him. ‘I
don’t think we understand each other,’ Remo said. ‘I’m
in this campaign to win. Not come close. Not make a good try. But
win. And you seem to be approaching it with the idea of "take
the money and run".’ The statement
was an accusation and Farger answered it. ‘What
you don’t understand,’ he said gingerly, feeling his way
around the edges of Remo’s annoyance, ’is that we can’t
win.’ ‘Why
not? Everybody keeps telling me we can’t win. Will somebody
please tell me why?’ ‘Because
we’ve got nothing going for us. Money, candidate, support. We
got nothing.’ ‘What
kind of money do you need for a one-week campaign?’ ‘For
printing, stunts, election day expenses, sound trucks, gimmicks, we’d
need $100,000,’ Farger said. ‘All
right,’ Remo said. ‘You’ve got $200,000. Cash. And
now I don’t want any more crap about you couldn’t do this
or you couldn’t afford that, or if you had more money, things
would be different. Does that solve your problem?’ Farger
blinked. He was already thinking as a lifetime in politics had
trained him to think: how much of that loose campaign money he could
skim off for himself. It took a few seconds before he could again
focus his mind on the major problem. ‘We
need exposure,’ he said. ‘Advertising, commercials,
brochures, signs for telephone poles. The whole thing.’ ‘You
got it,’ Remo said. ‘I hired the best ad agency in the
world. Their girl will be here this afternoon. What else?’ Farger
sighed. His native goodness vied with his greed. Finally the goodness
won out and he decided to tell the truth, even if Remo did pack up
his wallet and call off the whole campaign. ‘No
matter what you spend or what we do, we can’t win. There’s
three things important in a campaign: the candidate, the candidate
and the candidate. And we don’t have one.’ ‘Hogwash,’
Remo said. ‘Every campaign I ever saw, there were three
important things all right: the money, the money and the money. And
we’ve got the money and I’m giving you a blank check to
use it. Just use it right.’ ‘But
recognition ... respectability?’ ‘We get
that the way politicians always do. Buy the news guys.’ ‘But we
don’t have any support,’ Farger protested. ‘What
about people? Workers? Endorsements? We don’t have any. We’ve
got you and me and those three chippies out there, and if I didn’t
give them their 300 bucks each in advance, they wouldn’t be
there either. I’m not even sure we’ve got Mac Polaney,
because he’s such a gone job, he’s liable to vote for
somebody else himself.’ ‘Don’t
worry about that,’ Remo said. ‘Mac doesn’t vote.’ Farger
groaned. ‘What
people do we need?’ Remo asked, ‘Leaders.
Union people. Politicians.’ ‘Give
me a list.’ ‘It
won’t help to talk to them. All of them are with Cartwright.’ ‘You
just give me a list. I can be very persuasive.’ Remo stayed
in headquarters, long enough to assure himself that Farger was
seriously now tracking down phones and typewriters and copying
equipment. An hour later
when Teri Walker arrived, Farger gave Remo the list of names, sent
one of the girls to get Mac Polaney, and closeted himself with Teri
to discuss the campaign, which now had only six days left to run. CHAPTER
FIFTEEN MARSHAL
DWORSHANSKY watched the ice cubes drift gently in his glass,
duplicating the smooth side to side movement of his yacht in the
water, as he listened to the whining of Mayor Tim Cartwright. ‘Farger
left us,’ the mayor had just said. ‘That ingrate bastard.
After all I did for him.’ ‘What
exactly did you do for him?’ the marshal asked, raising his
glass to his lips, and his heavy shoulders bunched up into knots of
muscle under his lime colored silk shirt. ‘What
did I do? I didn’t fire his dumb ass. For years, I’ve
left him down there in the elections office, instead of kicking him
out in the street.’ ‘And
you did it, of course, out of the goodness of your heart?’
Dworshansky said. ‘Damn
near,’ Cartwright said. ‘Although he has been a loyal
slob. The perfect guy to give shit jobs to.’ ‘Aha,’
Dworshansky said. ‘You gave him a job; he gave you his support.
An even trade, I would say. And now he has voided the contract.
Perhaps he has gotten a better offer.’ ‘Yeah,
but campaign manager for Mac Polaney? What kind of offer is that?’
He paused, then chuckled to himself. ‘He probably thinks
Polaney’s going to make him city treasurer. Polaney offers that
job to everybody.’ He chuckled again. ‘Mac Polaney,
running for mayor.’ He laughed aloud as if he found the thought
unbearably funny. ‘Mac Polaney.’ ‘You
find him amusing?’ Dworshansky asked. ‘Marshal,
there’s an old rule in politics that goes: you can’t beat
somebody with nobody. Mac Polaney’s nobody.’ ‘He has
a very good advertising agency,’ the marshal said softly. Cartwright
laughed some more. ‘What kind of New York lunatic would take on
Polaney’s campaign?’ he chortled. ‘My
daughter’s advertising agency,’ Dworshansky said. ‘And
they are very good. Probably the best in the world.’ Cartwright
found that reason enough to stop laughing. ‘It is
about time you have restrained your mirth,’ Dworshansky said.
‘Because this is a very serious matter.’ He sipped his
vodka delicately, and glanced out the cabin window as he began to
speak. ‘We
have kept you out of jail with a smoke screen. To set it up, we had
to dispose of that fool from the bank, and as I remember, you did not
laugh then. ‘I
warned you that the government would not sit quietly by and allow
this to happen; that their secret organization would fight back. We
tied Farger to a post as a sacrificial lamb, and you did not laugh
then. They frightened Farger as earlier they had frightened Mr.
Moskowitz, whom it was necessary to un-frighten.’ Dworshansky
drained his glass in an angry gulp. ‘Now Farger means nothing
to me, but he is the first chip in our defenses. And if our enemies
choose to use this Mister Polaney as the instrument of their
retaliation, then I would suggest sincerely that you stop laughing at
Mr. Polaney, because it may not be long before he is dancing on your
grave.’ Cartwright
looked hurt, and Dworshansky put down the glass, rose, and clapped
the mayor on the shoulder. ‘Come,’
he said. ‘Do not despair. We have infiltrated their campaign
organization. We will guarantee that Mr. Polaney does not win the
election. And mostly we will just sit and wait, to see what our
enemies do.’ Cartwright
looked up at Dworshansky and retreated behind his politician’s
mask. ‘You’re a real friend,’ he said. ‘I
can’t tell you of the faith I have in you. Yes sir, a real
friend.’ ‘Well,
that and more,’ said Dworshansky. ‘I am a real partner as
you will find after you win. Of course, I know you would not forget
that, just as you would not forget that I now have Bullingsworth’s
notebook.’ Cartwright
looked hurt. ‘Marshal, I won’t forget your help. Really!’ ‘I know
you won’t,’ Dworshansky said. ‘Now, in the
meantime, I suggest that you campaign hard and leave Mr. Polaney and
this Remo friend of his to me. But do not underestimate them. That
way lies the boneyard.’ CHAPTER
SIXTEEN THE black and
white killer whale swam around the large, kidney-shaped pool, slowly
at first, then faster and faster as he built up speed and then, after
four rounds of the pool, he jumped straight up, high out of the
water, even his tail slapping only air, and with his tooth-lined
mouth squeezed the rubber bulb on a horn hung high above the water’s
surface. It honked.
The honk hung in the air for a split second and then was overwhelmed
by the crashing splash as the whale’s tonnage slammed down flat
against the water. As he slid
back down into the pool’s depths, children laughed and the
sun-baked crowd applauded. Chiun sat with Remo in a front row seat
and said, ‘Barbarians.’ ‘What
now?’ Remo asked. ‘Why is
it you white men think it somehow charming to take an animal, a
creature of nature, put a ribbon on him and have him beep a horn? Is
it cute?’ ‘Who’s
it hurt?’ Remo said. ‘The whale doesn’t even seem
to mind.’ Chiun turned
to him, away from the pool where a pretty blonde was now riding
around on the back of the whale. ‘You are, as usual, wrong. The
spectacle hurts the whale because he is no longer free. And it hurts
you because - senselessly, without considering the consequences - you
have deprived that animal of his freedom. It makes you less a man,
because you no longer think and feel as a man. ‘And
look at these children. What are they learning here? How they too can
one day grow up and imprison nature’s beasts? Barbarians.’ ‘As
opposed to?’ ‘As
opposed to anyone who does not tamper with the order of the universe.
As opposed to anyone who appreciates the virtues of the free life.’ ‘Strange
to hear an assassin sing the praises of life.’ Chiun
exploded in a babble of excited Korean, then said, ‘Death is a
part of life. It has always been thus. But it required you white men
to discover something worse than death. The cage.’ ‘You
don’t have zoos in Sinanju?’ ‘Yes,’
Chiun said evenly. ‘In them we keep Chinese and white men.’ ‘AH
right,’ Remo said, ’forget it. I just thought you’d
like to see the aquarium. It’s the most famous in the world.’ ‘After
lunch, may we visit the Black Hole of Calcutta?’ ‘Will
it improve your disposition?’ ‘The
Master of Sinanju spreads light wherever he walks.’ ‘Right
on, Chiun, right on.’ Remo was surprised at Chiun’s
display of ill humor. Since they had arrived in Miami Beach, the old
man had been in great spirits. He talked to wealthy old Jewish ladies
about the transgressions of their children. Mrs. Goldberg, he had
breathlessly told Remo, had a son who had not visited her in three
years. And Mrs. Hirshberg’s son did not even telephone. Mrs.
Kantrowitz had three sons, all doctors, and when her cat caught cold,
not one of them would take the case, even though she would have
insisted upon paying, so as not to be a burden. Mrs. Milstein
was the woman whose son was the television writer, and Chiun
marvelled that she bore up so bravely under the disgrace of a son who
wrote Chinese comedies. She did not even acknowledge disgrace, Chiun
said, but walked with her head high. A sterling woman, he had said. For his part,
Chiun must also have talked about his son who would not carry the
luggage and who embarrassed him at every turn. What he said, Remo
could only guess by the fact that occasionally walking through the
halls of their apartment, he was hissed by old ladies entering their
own apartments. Chiun talked, too, of his desire to go back to the
old country and see the village where he had been born. He would, he
said, gladly have retired, but he did not feel that his son was yet
able to carry on his work. Your son, my son, her son, their son.
Chiun and the ladies talked. If any of them had ever given birth to a
daughter, it was not mentioned. In just
a few days, Chiun seemed to have met half the Jewish Momma population
of Miami Beach. He also seemed to be happy and Remo expected him to
be happy for the chance to see the aquarium. He had not expected
abuse. Remo
shrugged, took a sheet of yellow lined paper from his shirt pocket,
and looked at it again. ‘C’mon,
Chiun,’ he said. ‘Our man works at the shark run.’ The shark run
was a half-mile-long oval of shallow water. In a half-dozen places,
the narrow channel broadened out into deep pools and jagged rock
inlets. The entire run was bordered by a steel fence, over which
spectators could lean and look down at the sharks swimming by. There
were hundreds of sharks in the run, of all sizes and shapes and
types. With the maniacal single-mindedness of the deadly, they
ignored the wide spots in the run, they ignored the deep pools.
Instead, they just swam continuously around, oval after oval, mile
after mile, a ceaseless search for something to kill. The only
break in their routine was feeding time, when the fishes and the red
meat thrown into the water drove them into frenzies that turned the
water white and bubbly as they fought for their meals, not with their
jaws and teeth, but like basketball players fighting for a rebound,
with their bodies and their stealth. The first
name on Remo’s list was Damiano Meola, head of the county’s
government employees union. Meola and the two thousand employees of
the union already had backed Mayor Cartwright for reelection. Chiun and
Remo found him in a sheltered, shaded area in the back of the shark
run, a small section sealed off from the public by a locked gate.
Meola was a big man, his burly body pulling at the seams of his light
blue workmen’s uniform. He stood at the rail of the shark run,
large buckets of dead fish at his feet, dropping them one at a time
into the water, and laughing as the water churned into froth just
below him. He talked to
himself as he fed his charges. ‘Go get it. That’s right
sweetheart. Take it away from him. Watch out for Mako. Careful. Don’t
let that mother get it. Careful. Ahh, what’s the matter?
Hungry? Starve, you vicious bastard!’ He reached
down to pick up another fish, and then stopped, as he saw behind him
Remo and Chiun’s feet. He turned around quickly, an angry
expression on his broad, flat-featured face. ‘Hey, wotsamatta,
witcha, this part ain’t open to the public. G’wan,
scram.’ ‘Mister
Meola?’ Remo asked politely. ‘Yeah.
Watcha want?’ ‘We’ve
come to talk to you.’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘We
represent Mr. Mac Polaney.’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘And we
want you to support him.’ Meola laughed
in their faces. ‘Mac Polaney!’ he said sputtering. ‘Hah.
That’s a laugh.’ Remo waited
quietly until he had finished laughing. Chiun stood, his hands folded
inside the sleeves of his thin yellow robe, his eyes looking skyward. Finally, when
Meola had quieted down, Remo said, ‘We’re not joking.’ ‘Well,
for people who ain’t joking, you sure tell funny stories. Mac
Polaney. G’wan get out of here.’ He turned away, picked
up a dead fish by its tail and held it out over the water. Remo stepped
to one side of him and Chiun to the other. ‘Mind
telling me why you’re against Polaney?’ Remo asked. ‘Because
my members endorsed Cartwright.’ ‘But
your members do what you tell them. Why not Polaney?’ Remo
asked. ‘Because
he’s a screwball is why.’ ‘Two
thousand dollars,’ Remo said. Meola stopped
and shook his head. He dropped the fish into the water and the sharks
attacked. ‘Five
thousand dollars,’ Remo said. Meola shook
his head again. ‘Name a
price,’ Remo said. Meola,
thinking of his brother-in-law, who was a stockbroker handling all
the assets of the employee’s pension fund and splitting his
earnings with Meola, said, ‘No price, never, nothing. Now get
out of here because you’re starting to annoy me.’ ‘Ever
see a man bitten by a shark?’ Remo asked. ‘Watch this,’
Meola said. ‘It drives them crazy.’ He took a fish from
the bucket and with a knife he carried in a sheath on his side, slit
its belly open. He dropped the gutted carcass into the water. Instant
explosion as the sharks went berserk. ‘It
must be the smell or something,’ Meola said. ‘But gut a
fish and they go wild.’ ‘How
long do you think a man could last in there?’ Meola dropped in
another fish. ‘A man with gutted fish in his pockets and
cuffs?’ Remo said. ‘Hey.
You threatening me? ‘Cause if you are, I’m gonna call the
cops. ‘Cause I don’t like you. You and your dinko
friend.’ He opened his
mouth to say something else, but he could not get a word out because
a fish was jammed deep into his mouth by Chiun. Meola gagged and
tried to spit, but Chiun slapped the fish deeper. Meola reached up to
pull it out, and Remo pinched both his wrists. Meola found he could
not raise his arms. ‘Time
to test your theory, Meola,’ said Remo. He slipped the knife
from Meola’s sheath, and began to slit the gullets of fish from
the bucket. He slipped one into Meola’s right trouser pocket
and another into his left. A third he stuck inside Meola’s
shirt, and two more went into Meola’s cuffs. Meola moaned
through the fish gag. He shook his head from side to side, his eyes
widened in fear. Then he tried to run, but the two men stopped him.
Somehow, they stopped him with just one finger each. And then
Meola found himself being lifted by the shirt collar and held out
over the deep pool. He looked down and between his suspended feet, he
could see the sleek brown and gray bodies of the sharks, slipping
back and forth noiselessly through the water, searching. He heard the
white man talking. ‘Mac Polaney is a decorated veteran. He has
broad political experience. He is incorruptible. He is just the man
our city needs to lead it through these perilous times. Don’t
you agree?’ Meola failed
to nod. He felt his
body dip and then water slipped into his shoes, before he was yanked
upward again, a foot above the water. ‘All
our local government employees want is decent government, a chance to
do an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. Isn’t
that right?’ Meola nodded
and as reward felt himself lifted a few inches higher. ‘Upon
reconsideration, as president of the employees’ union, you feel
that Mac Polaney’s election will be a great step forward for
the people of Miami Beach. Do I quote you accurately?’ Meola nodded
frantically. How long could this guy hold him out over the water,
before his arm tired and Meola was dropped? Meola nodded.
Again and again. He felt
himself being lifted effortlessly, swooped up over the railing and
placed back on the ground. The white man
pulled the fish from his mouth. ‘I’m
glad you saw it our way,’ he said. ‘Mac Polaney’ll
be glad to have you aboard.’ Remo reached
into his pocket and took out a stack of papers that Farger had
prepared. He leafed through them, found the one he wanted and
replaced the others. Remo glanced
over it, then nodded to himself, ‘Sign here,’ he said.
‘It’s an endorsement. You want to read it?’ Meola shook
his head. His voice came back, but his throat still hurt. ‘No,
no,’ he said. ‘Anything you want.’ ‘Good,’
Remo said. He took Meola’s pen, clicked it and handed it to
him. ‘Sign.’ Meola tried
to reach for the pen, but his arms would not move. ‘My arms,’
he said. ‘Oh,’
Remo said. He reached forward with his right hand and pressed Meola’s
wrists, 6rst the right, then the left. Immediately, Meola felt
control and strength moving back into his arms. ‘Now
sign,’ said Remo, handing forward the paper and pencil. Meola signed
and handed them back. Remo checked the signature, folded the paper
and put it in his pocket. He replaced the pen in the breast pocket of
Meola’s blue work shirt. Remo met his
eyes. ‘All right,’ he said, ‘ now I know what
you’re thinking. You’re thinking that as soon as we
leave, you’re going to call the cops. Or else you’re
going to retract the endorsement, and call it a hoax. That’s
what you’re thinking. But that’s not what you’re
going to do. Because if you do, we’re going to come back and
feed you to your playmates. Count on it. That’s solid gold.
Chiun.’ Remo nodded
to Chiun and the old man leaned forward and picked up one of the fish
from the pail. As Meola watched, the delicate Oriental tossed the
foot-long fish into the air. As it came down, his hands flashed
through the air, glinting in the sun like golden knife blades. When
the fish hit the ground, it had been cut into three pieces by Chiun’s
hands. Meola looked
at the fish, then at the old man, who had again folded his hands
inside the sleeves of his robe. ‘We’ll
dismember you like that fish,’ Remo said. ‘Piece by
piece, and then we’ll feed the pieces to the sharks.’ He put a hand
on Meola’s shoulder and for the first time, Meola noticed how
thick the man’s wrists were. ‘Are you afraid?’ Remo
asked. Meola nodded. ‘Good,’
Remo said. ‘You’d better be scared to death.’ He took his
hand from Meola’s shoulder, took a piece of yellow paper from
his shirt pocket and looked at it. ‘Gome on, Chiun,’ he
said, ’we’ve got more visits to make.’ They turned
to walk away, but Remo stopped and turned back to Meola. Tm glad you
saw it our way. Rest easy. You’re doing the best thing for the
city. Cross us and there won’t be enough left of you to get a
hook into.’ Remo turned,
put his arm around Chiun’s shoulder and walked away. Meola
heard him say, ‘See, Chiun. Reasonable minds can always reach
political compromises.’ Meola looked
at them, then down at the fish which the Oriental’s flying
hands had slashed into bits. Why not Mac
Polaney? he thought. After all, he was a decorated veteran with broad
political experience; he was incorruptible; and he had some kind
of campaign volunteers. CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN LT. CHESTER
GRABNICK, head of the Uniformed Officers Association, was an honest
cop. In seventeen
years as a policeman, he had not taken money from gamblers, he had
not protected narcotics dealers, he had not indulged in brazen
brutality. There had
been just one tiny little mistake. ‘When
you were a rookie patrolman, you used to steal reports from the
detective bureau and turn them over to a defense lawyer.’ The man who
brought him this news was in his thirties and he had a hard face. He
tried to turn the face softer now as he said, ‘It would be a
shame to ruin a good career for that sort of youthful indiscretion.’ Grabnick was
silent, thinking. Finally, he
said, ‘You got the wrong guy.’ ‘No, I
haven’t,’ his visitor said. ‘I have an affidavit
from the lawyer.’ Chester
Grabnick, who was the lawyer’s best friend and who bowled with
him every Wednesday night, said, ‘You do? How could you get a
thing like that?’ ‘It was
easy,’ the man said. ‘I broke his arm.’ Without
much more discussion, Lt. Chester Grabnick decided that the election
of Mac Polaney would be the best thing that could ever happen to
Miami Beach and its loyal, dedicated force of men in blue. ‘Will
your membership go along?’ his visitor asked. ‘They’ll
go along,’ Grabnick said, sure of himself. His success had been
built upon the reputation of ‘Honest Chet.’ So long as
nothing happened to damage that reputation, he could get the
uniformed officers to back anybody he wanted. ‘Good,’
his visitor said. ‘Make sure you do.’ In the car
outside Grabnick’s home, Remo slid behind the wheel and said to
Chiun, ‘All right. We got him. That’s two. A good day’s
work.’ ‘I do
not understand,’ Chiun said. ‘Will people vote for your
candidate because this policeman tell them to?’ ‘That’s
the theory,’ Remo said. ‘Get the leaders and the peasants
fall in line." ‘But
one can never tell about peasants,’ Chiun said. ‘That is
why they are peasants. I remember once....’ Remo sighed.
Another history lesson. CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN ‘HERE‘S
your first two,’ said Remo, tossing the endorsements on
Farger’s desk at campaign headquarters. Farger picked
up the papers, read them quickly, double-checked the signatures, then
looked up at Remo with renewed respect. ‘How’d
you do it?’ he asked. ‘We
reasoned together. Teri still here?’ ‘Inside,’
Farger said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. ‘Busy as a
beaver.’ Teri Walker
sat behind a large metal desk, its top festooned with pads, pencils,
paper, sketches. She wore large, owlish dark-framed eyeglasses,
pushed up on top of her head and she smiled at Remo as he came in the
door. ‘I met
the candidate,’ she said. ‘You know we’re going to
win?’ ‘All
that confidence from one meeting with the candidate? What did he
say?’ ‘He
said I had beautiful ears.’ ‘Ears?’ ‘Ears.
And he said if I’d run away on his houseboat with him, he’d
retire from public life and spend the rest of his days showering my
feet with catfish.’ ‘That’s
truly touching,’ Remo said. ‘And that proves we’re
going to win the election?’ ‘Don’t
you see, Remo, I believed him. That’s what we’ve got with
our candidate. Believability. And he’s….well, nice is
the only word for it. So our advertising is going to be all about
that - a nice, sweet guy that you can believe. Studies show that in
politics, the voter, taken as a group overall and not subdivided into
its minor ethnic or socio-economic components, well, that average
voter wants ...’ ‘Sure,’
Remo said. ‘When do we start our commercials, our advertising?’ ‘Well,
we don’t have time to do anything really fancy with either. But
mother is flying down two staff people. We’re going to go with
just one TV commercial for the whole campaign. That starts tomorrow.
Absolute saturation. The newspaper ads start the next day. How much
do we have to spend, by the way?’ Remo said,
‘I’ll send over a couple of hundred thousand. When that’s
done, ask for more.’ She looked at
him quizzically but approvingly. ‘When you go, you go,’
she said. ‘Anything
for honest government,’ Remo said. ‘Is it
your money?’ she asked - just a little too casually, Remo
noted. ‘Of
course,’ Remo said. ‘Who’d give me money to spend
on Mac Polaney? Only somebody as nutty as Mac himself and people that
nutty aren’t rich, or if they are, all their money is tied up
in hospitals for homeless cats.’ ‘There’s
a logical nonsequitur there, but I can’t figure it out,’
she said. ‘Don’t
try. If I were logical, do you think I’d be financing Mac’s
campaign? Where is the next mayor, by the way?’ ‘Oh, he
went back to his boat. He’s repairing some rods for the annual
catfish contest next week.’ ‘Next
week? It’s not on election day, is it?’ ‘I
don’t think so. Why?’ ‘If it
is, Mac might not even get his own vote,’ Remo said. She smiled,
slightly patronizing, as if she were able to read depths in Mac
Polaney’s soul that eluded a crass beast like Remo, and went
back to work. Remo watched her for awhile, grew bored and left. Farger still
sat at the front desk, but he had an unhappy look on his face. Remo
did not know whether that was because the three so-called secretaries
had left for the day, or because tragedy had befallen the campaign.
So he asked. ‘We got
trouble,’ Farger said. ‘The paper won’t use these
endorsements.’ ‘Why
not?’ Farger ran
his fingertips together indicating money. ‘The same reason the
paper only used one line about me becoming Polaney’s campaign
manager. Me . .. who is front page news around the country. It’s
the political reporter. Tom Burns. He’s on Cartwright’s
pad. His wife’s a no-show crossing guard and he’s a
no-show truant officer.’ ‘No-show?’ ‘Yeah.
He gets the paycheck but doesn’t show up for work. Anyway, the
little bastard told me the endorsements weren’t news. He
forgets that last week, when the same people endorsed Cartwright,
they were front page news.’ He slammed a pencil down on his
desk. ‘If we can’t get the endorsements in, how are we
going to create any movement?’ ‘We’ll
get them in,’ Remo said. He found Tom
Burns in a cocktail lounge around the corner from the editorial
officers of the Miami Beach Dispatch, the city’s biggest
and most influential paper. Burns was a
little man with graying hair that he touched up to keep black. Thick
horn-rimmed glasses covered his vague-looking eyes. He wore cuffed
pants and a jacket with frayed sleeves. Although the bar was crowded,
he sat by himself, and Remo knew enough about reporters to know that
if Burns had been even bearable, he would have had a crowd of
publicity-seekers around him, particularly in the middle of an
election campaign. So much for
Burns’ personality. He was
drinking Harvey’s Bristol Cream on the rocks. He couldn’t
drink either. Remo slid
into a stool at his left, and said politely, ‘Mr. Burns?’ ‘Yes,’
Burns said, coldly, distantly. ‘My
name is Harold Smith. I’m with a special Senate Committee
investigating coercion of the free press. Do you have a minute?’ ‘I
suppose so,’ Burns said laconically, trying to mask his
pleasure about being asked for his opinion on encroachment on news
gathering, the right of a reporter to conceal his sources, the
necessity of protecting the First Amendment. But how could he say all
that in a minute? He
turned out to have more than a minute, and he didn’t talk at
all. He only listened. He listened as the man explained that the
Senate was interested in cases where politicians had tried ’to
buy’ members of the press, in order to insure favorable news
coverage. ‘Do you know, Mr. Burns, that there are newspapermen
who not only have themselves but their relatives on public payrolls,
drawing salaries without doing work?’ This Harold Smith seemed
horrified at the thought. Burns learned that Mr. Harold Smith was
tracking down just such a reporter in the Miami Beach area, and Mr.
Harold Smith was going to subpoena that reporter to testify before a
public Senate hearing in Washington, D.C., and maybe, even, indict
him. No, Mr. Burns it would not be difficult to find him, because all
Mr. Harold Smith had to do was to read the local press and find out
which reporter is not giving fair coverage to the opponents of the
incumbent. That would be the right reporter. Oh, Mr. Burns
had to go? Oh, he had to write several stories about new endorsements
of Mr. Mac Polaney? Oh, tell it like it is, had always been his
motto? Well, that’s
really wonderful, Mr. Burns. More reporters should be like you. That
was Mr. Harold Smith’s feeling. He looked forward to reading
Mr. Burns’ wonderful coverage of Mr. Mac Polaney for the
remainder of the campaign. Burns left
without leaving a tip for the bartender. Remo shoveled a five dollar
bill onto the bar. That was the cheapest he’d gotten off in
anything he’d done in this campaign. CHAPTER
NINETEEN THE newspaper
the next morning had headlined the defections from Cartwright’s
camp to Mac Polaney. Under Burns’ by-line, the story said that
what appeared to have been merely a coronation ceremony for the
incumbent mayor might now grow into a horse race. Another
story quoted Gartwright in another attack on the federal government,
for trying to interfere with the municipal election. Cartwright said
that ’vast sums’ of money had been shipped from
Washington for use by his opponents, in an effort to beat him because
he would not be Washington’s toady. From the start, Cartwright
said, with the infamous League Papers, it was apparent that
Washington was trying to dictate to Miami Beach its choice of a
mayor. Another
story on Page One was datelined Washington. It quoted the President’s
press secretary as saying that a full investigation was underway into
the League papers, and that a report should be on the President’s
desk when he returned from his Summit meeting next week. The story
cheered Remo; it meant he had a few more days in which to bail out
CURE. Remo put down
the paper and chuckled to Chiun, ‘We’re going to win this
thing.’ Chiun sat, in
his blue meditative robe, and looked slowly and quizzically at Remo. ‘That
is your opinion?’ he asked. ‘It
is.’ ‘Then
heaven help us, because the fools have taken over the asylum.’ ‘Now,
what’s eating you?’ ‘What
do you know of politics, my son, that you can say now we will do
this, or now we will do that? Why do you not understand the simple
wisdom of finding a new emperor? It is as if you were one of those
Chinese priests in that terrible television tale, dedicating yourself
to social work.5 ‘You
know very well, Chiun, I’m involved in this to try to save
Smith and the organization that pays the freight for you and me.’ ‘I have
watched you now. You have this Mr. Farger, who is as imperfect a
human being as could be found. You have this Miss Walker, who is
practicing at your expense. So I say to you, if you must do this
thing, why do you not call in an expert?’ ‘Because
Chiun, in this country no one knows anything about politics. The
experts least of all. That’s why there still is an American
dream. Because the whole system is so nutty that every nut has a
chance to win. Even Mac Pol-aney. Even with me running things for
him.’ Chiun
turned away. ‘Call Dr. Smith,’ he said. ‘What
would you have me call him?’ ‘Do not
fear, my son, that you will ever drown in your arrogance. For surely,
before that day arrives, you will have choked on your ignorance.’ ‘You
stick with me, Chiun,’ Remo said. ‘How’d you like
to be city treasurer?’ But Chiun’s
remarks rankled. Remo had gotten into politics to force Cartwright’s
people to come after him,, since he was unable to attack Cartwright
head-on. And yet, nothing had happened. No one had moved, and it
forced him to wonder, against his will, if he was even in the ball
game. He would not take many more pitches, he thought, before he
started swinging. The big
name on Remo’s list for the day was Nick Bazzani, who was the
leader of the Miami Beach northern ward. Remo and Chiun found him in
his ward club, snuggled into a side street under a large red and
white sign that proclaimed ‘Cartwright for Mayor. North Ward
Civic Association, Nick Bazzani, Standard-Bearer.’ ‘What’s
a standard-bearer?’ Remo asked Chiun. ‘He
carries the flag in the annual parade of ragamuffins,’ Chiun
said, looking with distaste around the main clubroom where men in tee
shirts sat in wooden chairs, drinking beer and talking. ‘What
can I do for you?’ one man asked Remo, looking curiously at
Chiun. ‘Nick
Bazzani. I want to see him.’ ‘He’s
busy now. Make an appointment,’ the man said, jerking his thumb
toward a door that apparently led to a back room. ‘He’ll
see us,’ Remo said, brushing past the man and leading Chiun
through the door, into the backroom. The room was
a small office with a desk, extra chairs, and a small table on which
sat a portable color television set. There were
three men in the room. Bazzani apparently was the one behind the
desk. He was fattish and red-haired; he had that dumb look that only
red-headed Italians are able to master fully. Remo put his age in his
late thirties. The other two men in the room were younger,
dark-haired, much impressed by being close to Bazzani, who was
probably the most wonderful, grandest man they had ever hoped to
meet. ‘Hey,
this is a private office,’ one of the men said. ‘That’s
good,’ Remo said. ‘My business is private.’ He
turned to the man at the desk. ‘Bazzani?’ ‘Shhhh,’
said the man. ‘It’s coming on now.’ He was
staring at the television set. Remo and Chiun turned to watch. The
game show emcee said, ‘We’ll be back in just one minute.’ ‘Shhhh
now, everybody,’ Bazzani said. A soap
commercial came on. ‘It’s
next,’ Bazzani said. The soap
commercial died, there was a moment of blank air, and then on screen
came a large sunflower with a hole in its center. It filled the
screen in garish color for a few seconds and then, into the hole in
the center, popped the head of Mac Polaney. Remo winced. Polaney
seemed fixed there for a moment, then opened his mouth and began to
sing, to the plinking of one banjo accompaniment: ‘Sunshine
is nicer. Flowers
are sweeter. We
need a man to
clean up the town.’ It
went on and on and ended with: ‘Vote
for Polaney. Early
and Often.’ Bazzani had
giggled when the sunflower first came on the screen. He laughed aloud
when he saw Polaney’s face. At the end of the jingle, he was
roaring. Tears streamed down his cheeks. He tried hard to catch his
breath. The song
ended, and over the sunflower and Polaney’s face came a printed
legend: ‘Sunshine
is Nicer. Vote
for Polaney.’ Then the
commercial faded and the game show came back on. Bazzani was still
convulsed. Through tears and gasps, he managed to sing: ‘Vote
for Polaney, He
is a hoople.’ Then off into
more laughter, demanding of everybody in the room, ‘Did you see
that? Did you see that?’ Remo and
Chiun stood silently in the middle of the floor, waiting. It took a
full sixty seconds before Bazzani could catch his breath and regain
some of his composure. Finally, he looked up at Remo and Chiun and
wiped away the tears of mirth which sparkled on his fat, meaty face. ‘Can I
help you?’ he asked. ‘Yes,’
Remo said. ‘We’re from Mr. Polaney’s headquarters,
and we’ve come to ask your support.’ Bazzani
chuckled as if a partner to a joke. Remo said
nothing. Bazzani looked at him, waiting for him to say more. But when
Remo said nothing, he finally asked in surprise, ‘Whose
headquarters?’ ‘Mac
Polaney,’ Remo said. ‘The next mayor of Miami Beach.’ This
pronouncement was good for another thirty seconds of general
hilarity, this time shared by Bazzani’s two companions. ‘Why do
they laugh?’ Chiun asked Remo. ‘Mister Polaney is
correct. Sunshine is nicer.’ ‘I
know,’ Remo said, ‘But some people don’t have any
feel for truth and beauty.’ Bazanni
showed no sign of ever letting up. Every time he stopped laughing to
catch his breath, he hissed ‘Mac Polaney,’ then he and
his two spear carriers were off again. Perhaps if
Remo got his attention. He stepped forward to the desk which was bare
except for a newspaper opened to the race results, a telephone and a
metal bust of Robert E. Lee. Remo lifted
the statue in his left hand and put his right hand on top of its
head. He wrenched with his hands and ripped off the bronze head.
Bazzani stopped laughing and watched. Remo dropped the rest of the
bust and put both hands to the top of the skull in his right hand. He
twisted and wrenched, moving his hands back and forth in un»
familiar patterns, his fingers moving individually as if tapping on
different keys. Then he opened his hand and let bronze dust and
flakes to which he had reduced the statue dribble between his fingers
onto Bazzani’s desk. Bazzani
stopped laughing. His mouth hung open. He seemed unable to remove his
eyes from the pile of bronze metallic dust on his desk blotter. ‘And
now that Laugh-in is over,’ Remo said, ’we’re going
to talk about your endorsements of Mac Polaney.’ The words
jolted Bazzani to attention. ‘Alfred,’ he said. ‘Rocco.
Get these two nuts out of here.’ ‘Chiun,’
Remo said softly, his back still turned to the other two men. They moved
towards Remo. Behind him, he heard two sharp cracks as if boards were
breaking, and then two thumps as bodies hit the floor. ‘Now
that we won’t be interrupted,’ Remo said, ’why have
you been supporting Cartwright?’ ‘He’s
the city leader. I always support the city leader,’ Bazzani
said. His voice was still loud and blustery, but there was a new note
in it now. One of fear. ‘So did
Meola and Lt. Grabnick,’ Remo said. ‘But they saw the
light. They’re supporting Polaney now.’ ‘But I
can’t,’ Bazzani whined. ‘My membership....’ ‘But
you must,’ Remo said. ‘And forget your membership. Are
you their leader or not?’ ‘Yeah,
but....’ ‘No
buts,’ Remo said. ‘Look, I’ll make it clear for
you. Support Polaney and you get $5,000 and you keep breathing. Tell
me no, and your head’s going to look like Robert E. Lee’s
there.’ Bazzani
looked down at the pile of dust again, then sputtered, ‘I never
heard of such a thing. Politics isn’t done this way.’ ‘Politics
is always done this way. I’ve just eliminated the middle step
of beating around the bush. Well? What’s the answer? You want
to be with Polaney, or you want to have your skull caved in?’ Bazzani, for
the first tune, searched Remo’s eyes and found nothing in there
but truth. It was hard to believe that this was happening to him, but
for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out anything to do. He
looked past Remo down at the floor, where Rocco and Albert lay still. ‘They’re
not dead,’ Remo said, ’but they could just as easily have
been. All right, time’s up.’ He took a step toward the
desk. ‘What
do you want me to do?" Bazzani said, with a sigh. Before Rocco
and Albert regained consciousness, Remo had Bazzani’s signature
on an endorsement and Bazzani had Remo’s five thousand dollars
in his pocket. ‘A fair
trade,’ Remo said, ’is a bargain for everyone. One last
thing.’ Bazzani
looked up. ‘How’d
you know Polaney’s commercial was going to be on?’ ‘We got
a list of all the times they’re running.’ ‘From
who?’ ‘Cartwright’s
headquarters.’ ‘Okay,’
Remo said, with a small smile. ‘Now don’t cross me. Mr.
Polaney’s happy to-have you aboard.’ He turned,
stepped over Rocco and Alfred and led Chiun out, through the front
clubrooms and out into the street. He was
worried, but happy. Bazzani had had the list of commercials and they
had come from Cartwright. That meant that Cartwright had a pipeline
into Polaney’s campaign organization, and that was cause for
worry. But it also made Remo happy, because it meant that the
Cartwright people were moving. Slowly - true, but they were moving
... toward Remo. His
concentration was broken by Chiun’s voice. He turned. Chiun was
singing softly under his breath: ‘Sunshine
is nicer. ‘Flowers
are sweeter.’ CHAPTER
TWENTY ‘Did
you see those commercials?’ Willard
Farger seemed pained. He sat at his desk in the main room of their
campaign led headquarters suite, watching his three Playboy bunnies
who seemed to be watching their fingernails grow. ‘Yeah,’
said Remo. ‘What’d you think?’ ‘I
thought they were terrible,’ Farger said. ‘Who’s
going to vote for a guy with his head in a sunflower?’ ‘History
is full of elections where people voted for guys with their heads in
their ass,’ Remo said. ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s
all been carefully calculated and computed on Madison Avenue. And
would they lie to us?’ Both he and
Farger knew the answer to that question so it was not necessary to
answer it. Instead, Remo said, ‘By the way, I don’t mean
to tell you your business, but shouldn’t there be more people
in headquarters than you and your harem? I mean, aren’t there
supposed to be real live voters around here who would die or cheat or
rob or kill for our candidate?’ Farger
shrugged his shoulders. ‘Sure there are. Where do I get them?’ ‘I
thought they came after we got the endorsements from Meola and
Grabnick and Nick Bazzani,’ Remo said. ‘Not
enough,’ Farger said. ‘We get people when we prove we got
a candidate who can win. It’s like farming. You got to have
seeds before you have plants. Well, the seeds are the first people.
And you’ve got to have them to get in the other people who
really work for you.’ The plants?’ ‘Right,’
Farger said. ‘Well,
how do you get those first people? The seeds?’ ‘You
get them usually from the candidate himself. His friends, his family.
They’re the start of his organization. Our guy doesn’t
even have that. What’s he going to do: staff headquarters with
catfish?’ ‘It
doesn’t make any sense,’ Remo said. ‘We can’t
win unless we have people. And we can’t get people, unless we
prove we can win. Where does it start or end for that matter? What
about the commercials? Will they help?’ Farger shook
his head. ‘Not those commercials.’ ‘The
newspaper stories and ads?’ ‘Maybe
a little. But we don’t have time to build an organization by
dribs and drabs.’ ‘All
right,’ Remo said. ‘It’s decided.’’ ‘What
is?’ Farger asked. ‘People.
We need ’em. We’re going to hire ’em.’ ‘Hire
them? Where are you going to hire people for a campaign?’ ‘I
don’t know. We’ve got to think about it. But that’s
the answer. Hire ’em.’ ‘Hmmm,’
Farger said, musing. Then finally, ‘It might work. It just
might.’ He paused as Teri Walker stepped out of her office, saw
Remo, and smiled her way to him at Farger’s desk. ‘Did
you see the commercials?’ she asked. ‘Sure
did.’ ‘And?’ ‘The
one I saw was so effective a Cartwright ward leader switched over on
the spot. Never saw a commercial I with more pulling power than that
one.’ ‘You
mark my words,’ Ten said. ‘The whole town will know Mac
Polaney in the next forty-eight hours.’ ‘What
does your mother think?’ Remo asked. ‘I’d
love to take the credit, but she’s the one who gave me the
idea. For the sunflower setting.’ ‘And
the song?’ ‘That
came right from the candidate. He wrote it himself. He’s sweet.
He really believes it.’ ‘So do
I,’ Remo said. ‘Sunshine is nicer. We’ve just been
talking about our manpower problems. We’re thinking of hiring
campaign workers.’ ‘Sounds
like a good idea, ’she said. Farger said,
‘Our biggest problem is going to be election day at the polls.
If we don’t man every polling place, Cartwright’s people
will kill us. They’ll steal our votes.’ -, . . Remo nodded
sagely although he had no idea how one would go about stealing a vote
in this day and age of voting machines. ‘How
many people would you need?’ he asked. ‘At
least two hundred.’ ‘Two
hundred people at $300 for the week. Sixty thousand,’ Remo
said. ‘Yeah.
A lot of scratch.’ ‘We’ve
got it,’ Remo said. ‘Don’t worry about it. All
we’ve got to do is figure out where to get two hundred people
in a hurry.’ He left that
problem with Farger and joined Teri Walker in her office where she
showed him the layouts for the newspaper ads which would start
running the next day. They showed Mac Polaney’s head inside a
sunflower, and the simple legend: ‘Sunshine
is Nicer. ‘Vote
for Polaney.’ ‘What
about issues?’ Remo asked. ‘Taxes, air pollution, crime?’ She shook her
head, tossing her long blonde hair lightly around her bare shoulders.
‘It won’t work.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Have
you heard his positions? Take parking, for example. I asked him about
parking. He said the whole thing was very simple. Cut down the
parking meters and attach springs to their bases, then give them out
to the public for use as pogo sticks. This, you see, would stop the
theft of money from the meters, the vandalism of the meters
themselves, and ease the traffic problem by getting people out of
their cars and onto their pogo sticks. And then, there is air
pollution. You know what his solution is to air pollution?’ ‘What?’
Remo asked reluctantly. ‘Zen
breathing. He said air pollution is only a problem if you breathe.
But if you practice zen breathing, you can cut down the number of
breaths you take per minute. Cut them in half. This cuts the air
pollution problem in half, without the expenditure of one cent by the
public. And then there was crime. Do you really want to hear his
position on law and order?’ ‘Not
really,’ Remo said. ‘Stick with "Sunshine is
Nicer".’ ‘That
was my mother’s advice and my grandfather’s too. And they
know what they’re doing.’ Remo nodded
pleasantly at the insult, but was glum again as he got into the
elevator for downstairs. But his spirits perked up as he heard the
elevator operator humming under his breath the melody of ‘Sunshine
is Nicer’. Chiun could
tell Remo was worried. ‘You are bothered?’ he said. ‘I need
two hundred people to work on Polaney’s campaign.’ ‘And
you do not know two hundred people?’ ‘No.’ ‘And
you do not know where to get that many strangers?’ ‘No.’ ‘Can
you not advertise in the little print in your newspapers?’ Targer says
‘I can’t. It would destroy our image by admitting that we
couldn’t get campaign workers.’ ‘Truly
a problem,’ Chiun said. ‘Truly,’
Remo agreed. ‘But
you will not call Dr. Smith?’ ‘No.
I’m going to do this myself, Chiun. And that’s one
Smitty’s going to owe me.’ Chiun turned
away, shaking his head. The next
morning, the problem became academic. There was a
Page One story in the Miami Beach Dispatch in which Mayor
Cartwright attacked the mysterious forces behind his opposition, and
charged that his primary opponents were planning ’to import
goons - professional, paid political hessians - to come into our city
to disrupt our way of life.’ Remo crumpled
the paper and tossed it angrily to the floor. There it was
again, proof of Cartwright’s pipeline into the Polaney camp.
And this time Remo knew who it was. Farger just
had not been able to play it straight; he didn’t have the cuts
to break loose from his old organization, and so he played double
agent, taking Remo’s money and tipping off Cartwright on what
Polaney was doing. Well, enough
was enough. Farger would pay for it now. So Remo
thought. But Farger was to escape punishment at his hands. CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE DR. HAROLD W.
SMITH, looked at the telephone for the hundredth time that morning,
then stood and walked to the door of his office. Ignoring his
confidential secretary, his administrative assistant, and a string of
other project assistants, he walked through their offices, out
through a cluster of big open offices, and toward a side door of the
main sanitarium building. Some of the workers at desks in the big
offices stared at his departing figure in disbelief. But for a
glimpse at lunch, they had never seen him except behind his desk. He
was at his desk in the morning when they arrived; as often as not, he
ate lunch there; and he worked late into the night, hours past the
departure time of the Civil Service personnel who sat in the outer
offices doing paper work on educational and medical research projects
which served as Folcroft’s cover. Some had never conceived of
the idea of Dr. Smith walking anywhere; now to see him ambulating was
a shock indeed. There were
two basic reasons, Smith rarely left his desk. First, he was a
compulsive worker. Work was his wife, his life, his mistress and his
madness. Second, he resented any time spent away from his telephone,
because over that telephone he learned of the problems CURE faced,
and over that same bank of phones he could set into motion the
world-wide apparatus that CURE had slowly accreted to itself over the
past decade or more. But
now, he did not expect the phone to ring. The President was in Vienna
at the Summit. He would not be back for several more days and Smith
had that much time left before the President’s last order to
CURE became operational: Disband. Not that Smith would need to hear
the order spoken. The instant he felt that CURE could not be saved;
that its security was irrevocably breeched; that its continued
existence was a disservice to the country; at that moment, Smith
would act. It was a mark of his character that he did not regard his
willingness to do that as a mark of character. It was the right thing
to do; therefore, it was the kind of thing a man must do. But now, as
the day grew closer, he found himself asking the question of himself.
Would he really scuttle CURE and take his own life in the process? He
had never doubted it before, but that was when it had been just an
academic possibility. Now, it approached reality. He wondered if he
would indeed have the nerve. Still, the
question might not be put to him. There was still Remo. He knew Remo
would not telephone. He resisted calling on simple assignments; on
this one, where Smith had lifted the need for reporting regularly,
Remo would not call at all. He was
not overly optimistic about Remo’s chances to nip the scandal
of The League Papers in the bud. At the subtle cat and mouse games,
Remo was as a child. And now, he was in the trickiest of all arenas -
urban politics. CURE’s mask had been torn because of politics,
the need of Cartwright to block the investigation and indictments of
his administration. The problem required a political solution, and
Smith could tell, from reading the Florida papers, that Remo had
moved into the political arena with a man named Polaney. It was the
right strategy, but Remo was the wrong tactician. Politics was a game
with just too many finesses for the one-time cop. Still, what
else could Smith do but wait? When all was said and done, when its
millions of dollars and thousands of secret workers were counted and
recounted, CURE was two people - Smith, the head, and Remo, the hand.
Nothing else. No one else. Smith
strolled to the shore of the sound, where the ground gently broke
away and leaned down into the water, baring stones polished smooth by
the pounding of the water, glistening now gold and silver in the
morning sunlight. The waves
lapped gently at the incline, and Smith looked at the nearest wave,
then one behind it, then one farther out, until finally he was
looking out across the broad expanse of Long Island Sound. He had
looked at it for years: when CURE was just an idea, and when it was a
reality; when its missions were simple and when they were complex.
The water gave him the feeling of permanence in a jerry-built world.
But now he understood that the permanence of the water belonged only
to the water. CURE had come and CURE could go. Dr. Harold W. Smith
had lived and Dr. Harold W. Smith would die. But the waves would
roll, and more and more pebbles would go smooth and round, to be
polished gold and silver by the waves. If the sea
never changed, was CURE worth having created? Was it worth it for Dr.
Harold W. Smith to have left a lifetime of honored government service
to head the mission, because a now-dead president had told him he was
the only man for the job? Smith asked
himself that question as he looked now at the water, but he knew his
answer. It was the answer that had sustained him for years, through
all the pushing of buttons that had somehow cost other men their
lives. Each man does what he can and each man’s effort counts.
There was no reason for life if a man did not believe that. Perhaps
even Remo knew that. It could explain why he had gone to Miami Beach
instead of fleeing, which was what Smith expected him to do. And if
he had gone on the assignment... well, then he might just call. Smith scaled
a rock at the water, then turned and went back inside, to sit at the
telephone. But Remo had
other things on his mind, besides Dr. Harold W. Smith. For one,
Willard Farger. Farger was
not at campaign headquarters. Roused long enough to be coherent, one
of the bunny-secretaries confided to Remo that Farger had come in
uncharacteristically early, gotten a phone message and left. ‘He
ain’t gonna be late getting back, is he?’ she said,
snapping her gum as she talked. ‘I was going to use today’s
check to go shopping at lunch hour?’ Today’s
check?’ She nodded.
‘Farger pays us by the day. He thinks that’s the only way
we’d show up. But I’d show up anyway, just to see you.
You’re cute.’ ‘You’re
cute, too,’ Remo said. ‘Do you know who the phone message
was from?’ The girl
looked at a pad on her desk. ‘Here it is,’ she said.
‘This party called early, and left the number. When Farger came
in, he called it and left.’ She gave Remo
the number and turned away, humming, ‘Sunshine is Nicer’. Remo went to
Farger’s desk and dialed the number. ‘Mayor Cartwright’s
headquarters,’ a female voice answered. Even though it was
early in the day, in the background Remo could hear the buzz of
excited voices, typewriters pounding, other telephones ringing. Remo
held the phone to his ear for a moment, listening, and ruefully
contemplating the three bunnies in the Mac Polaney Campaign Hutch.
Then, angrily, he hung up. Double-agent
Farger. Gone, no doubt, to report to Cartwright how he was taking the
smartass easterner’s money and was sinking the Polaney
campaign. Why had he
ever gotten involved in this? Remo wondered. Why? What did he know
about politics? The dumbest green kid from a ward club would have
handled himself smarter than Remo had. His first impulse had been
right. Knock off Cartwright. Stick to what he knew. And what he knew
was death.: First,
Farger’s. Cartwright’s
headquarters were in another hotel on the Miami Beach strip, five
long blocks away. ‘He was
here earlier,’ a bright-faced, young girl told Remo, ’but
he left.’ The office
was a maelstrom of activity and people and noise, ‘Think
you’re going to win?’ Remo asked the girl. ‘Certainly,’
the girl said. ‘Mayor Cartwright is a fine man. It takes one to
stand up to the fascist pigs in Washington.’ Suddenly,
Remo realized a great truth. There were no real reasons why anyone
supported a political candidate, not logical ones anyway. People
voted their stupidities, and then justified them by seeing in their
chosen candidate what they wanted to see. Like the
girl. A government-hater, she cast Cartwright in that mold, and made
it the most important part of his makeup. Logic, obviously, had no
part in it because if it had, she would certainly have supported
Polaney, whose election was a guarantee of instant anarchy. Democracy was
a statistical accumulation of stupidities, which cancelled each other
out, until they produced the public will. The most insane thing of
all was that the public will generally was the best choice. Remo returned
the girl’s smile and she turned away with a shout. ‘Charlie,’
she called. ‘Get those brochures down into the truck.’ ‘What
truck?’ a much whiskered young man said. ‘On the
side driveway. A green panel. It’s taking the brochures to our
other clubs around town.’ ‘All
right,’ Charlie said. He moved toward a half dozen bulky
cartons of brochures that were on a four-wheeled hand truck. Remo
walked over to give him a hand. He helped Charlie steer the car to
the service elevator, then rode down with him, and helped Charlie
load the brochures on the back of a green truck. They had just
finished when the driver walked out of a saloon across the alley. ‘You
know where this stuff goes?’ Charlie asked him. ‘Got
the list right here, kid,’ the driver said, patting his shirt
pocket. Charlie
nodded and went back toward the hotel. ‘I’ll
ride with you,’ Remo told the driver. ‘Help unload.’ ‘Suit
yourself.’ The driver
was humming ‘Sunshine is Nicer’ all along the way. He
turned on the radio and in Polaney’s clear, resonant voice,
they heard the same song on a commercial. Two miles
down the strip, the driver turned off Collins Avenue and began
heading for the clubhouse in the northernmost section of Miami Beach.
After a few blocks, the traffic thinned out to an occasional car. ‘You
for Cartwright?’ Remo asked the driver, still humming the
Polaney jingle. ‘I
voted for him last time,’ the driver said, in what Remo
realized was a non-answer. ‘Hey,
wait a minute,’ Remo said. ‘Pull over here.’ ‘What’s
the matter?’ ‘Just
pull over. I’ve got to check the load.’ The driver
shrugged and pulled the truck to the side of a small roadway bridge
that crossed a slimly built river. He stopped and turned to look at
Remo who put him out with a knuckle to the neck. The driver
crumpled forward over the wheel. He would be out for a few minutes. Remo hopped
down from the truck and opened the side door in the little truck.
Shielded from the highway by the body of the truck, he began to
remove the cartons. One at a
time, he drove his steelhard fingertips into the boxes of brochures,
perforating them with big jagged holes. Then, one at a time, he
tossed them over the railings and into the water below. The holes
would let the water flow in and destroy the printing. Remo stuck a
fifty dollar bill into the driver’s shirt pocket, left him
sleeping, went across the road and hitched a ride back into town. So much for
political counterespionage. Tonight, he thought, he might get a
garden rake and go tear down the Cartwright billboards which were
beginning to blossom around the city. But first
there was Farger. Willard
Farger, fourth deputy-assistant commissioner of elections, finally
came to Remo. He came in a box, addressed simply ‘Remo’
and delivered to the Polaney campaign headquarters. He came with an
ice pick jammed into his right ear. Remo looked
down at Farger’s body, scrunched up into the reinforced carton.
A faint scent rose to his nostrils and he leaned forward, his face
close to the box. He had smelled it before. It was floral. Yes. The
same scent had come from the ice pick that he had seen jammed into
the right ear of City Manager Moskowitz. It was lilac. A
lilac-scented icepick. Remo just
looked at the ice pick in disgust. On its point had been skewered,
not only Farger but the entire Polaney campaign. The only person in
the whole campaign who knew anything at all, and he was dead. It was the
ultimate insanity, Remo thought. CURE, which had been created to use
violence to help save the nation and its political processes, was now
being destroyed by the most basic of the political processes - a free
election - in which its opponents were free to use violence while
Remo wasn’t. And he just
did not know what to do about it. For a moment,
he thought of the phone. Smith was only a telephone call away. His
hand began to move for the phone and then he shook his head, and
began to lug the carton containing Farger’s body to one of the
back rooms. CHAPTER
TWENTY-TWO AFTER Remo
had disposed of the body, he told of Farger’s death to Teri
Walker, who broke down and wept real tears. ‘I
didn’t know politics was going to be like this/ she cried.
‘That poor man.’ ‘Well,
we’re not going to say a word about it,’ Remo said.
‘We’re just going to go on campaigning.’ She nodded
and wiped her very wet eyes. ‘That’s right. We’ve
got to go on. He would have wanted us to.’ ‘That’s
right,’ Remo said. ‘You go on. Do your commercials and
your advertising. Do your thing.’ ‘And
you?’ ‘I’m
going to do mine.’ ‘We’ve
got that television special Monday night,’ she said. ‘That
might just win it for us.’ ‘Good,’
Remo said. ‘The opposition’s going to know they’ve
been in a fight anyway.’ Poor Teri.
Her first campaign, and she was raising exuberance to an art form.
But no matter what she did, there was no way to win. Remo conceded
that now. There were no workers. And even if there had been workers,
there was no work for them to do. Farger had kept everything in his
head. Without him, Remo could not find the printing, the brochures,
the bumper strips, the buttons, all the necessary paraphernalia of a
political campaign. He confided
this to Chiun back at their hotel room. ‘I do
not understand,’ Chiun said. ‘You mean that people vote
for one person, rather than another, because they prefer his button?’ ‘Well...
sort of,’ Remo said. ‘But
you told me earlier that people would vote the way that police
lieutenant told them to,’ Chiun said. ‘Well..
. some people will.’ ‘How
can you tell the people who follow the police lieutenant from the
people who follow the buttons?’ Chiun asked; ‘You
can’t,’ Remo said. Chiun
spattered the room with Korean, of which Remo could recognize a
phrase or two, most dealing with the stupidity of democracy and how
it was, therefore, the only form of government which white men
deserved. Finally,
Chiun stopped. In English, he said: ‘What do you do now?’ ‘We
can’t win. But I can make things uncomfortable for them.’ ‘But
you told me that you could not kill your opponents.’ ‘That’s
right. I can’t. But I can rough them up a little, them and
their campaign.’ Chiun shook
his head sadly. ‘An assassin who is not permitted to kill is
like a man with an unloaded revolver who takes solace in the fact
that at least the gun has a trigger. The risks are very great.’ ‘But
what else can I do? No workers, no equipment, no nothing,’ Remo
said. ‘Let’s face it, Chiun. The political campaign is
over for us. We’ve lost.’ ‘I
see,’ Chiun said and watched as Remo changed into dark slacks
and shirt and shoes. ‘And
now?’ Chiun asked. ‘I’m
going to drop a little rainfall in the lives of our opposition.’ ‘Do not
be caught,’ Chiun said. ‘Because if you are, I will tell
investigators everything I know. I understand it is the way of your
country.’ ‘Feel
free,’ Remo said. ‘I won’t be caught.’ Remo
got to the hotel headquarters of Mayor Tim Cartwright’s
campaign shortly after midnight. He left shortly before dawn, seen
only by one person, and that only fleetingly, as that person decided
it would be good to sleep until noon. Behind him,
Remo left a record of accomplishment, on which he would have been
glad to campaign for a second term as campaign burglar. He ripped out
the telephone connections and rewired the junction boxes, until they
were tangled mazes of colored cables. The telephone instruments
themselves were carefully taken apart, their innards mangled, and
then reinserted. Remo took apart the electric typewriters and
re-jiggered the connections so that when struck, different keys
produced the wrong letters. For good measure, he also bent the
typewriter rollers. He tore
thousands of bumper strips in half. Thousands of copies of a campaign
newsletter were dumped down the incinerator shaft, followed by three
crates of lapel buttons. He painted mustache and beard on printed
pictures of Mayor Cartwright, and as his last act, dropped a match
down the incinerator shaft and waited for the flame to start with a
muffled puff. Remo decided
to walk back to his hotel and he stopped in the early morning warmth
and swam in the ocean. He swam strongly, powerfully slipping through
the water in the way of Sinanju, his mind churning in marked contrast
to the smooth moving of his body, and when his anger had waned and he
turned in the water, the shoreline was out of sight. He had swum
miles out to sea. Slowly he
returned to land, padding ashore in his briefs, then sitting in the
sand and slipping on his clothes, under the startled eye of a beach
boy who was setting up the chaise lounges for the day’s
invasion of freckled, pale-skinned New Yorkers. He got back
to his apartment by mid-morning. Chiun should be up, he thought, and
stuck his head into the old man’s room. The cocoa mat on which
Chiun sometimes slept was rolled up and neatly stored in a corner.
The room was empty. On the
kitchen table, Remo found a note. ‘A
matter of urgency has taken me to Mr. Polaney’s headquarters.’ Now what?
Remo decided he had better go and see. Outside
Polaney headquarters, the noise in the hall was deafening. What the
hell was going on inside, Remo thought. Perhaps one of Farger’s
bunnies had lost her nail polish. He pushed
open the door to step inside, then stopped in amazement. The place was
overrun with people. Women. Middle-aged and elderly women. All
moving, all working. At Farger’s
desk sat Mrs. Ethel Hirshberg. She was shouting into a telephone. ‘I
don’t know nothing from labor problems. You want to get paid,
you deliver in an hour. Otherwise, you and your lovely family can eat
the paper you used. ‘That’s
right. One hour or no cash. Don’t tell me about arrangements.
This operation is under new management. That’s right. One hour.
And be sure you have somebody carry them upstairs. Us ladies have bad
backs.’ She hung up
the phone and pointed to Remo. ‘Your father’s inside. Now
don’t just stand there. Go inside and see if there’s
anything you can do to help, even though you’re not much good
for anything. ‘Rose,’
she screamed. ‘You have that list of North Ward volunteers yet?
Well, step on it. Get this show on the road.’ She turned to
Remo again. ‘Hard,’ she said derisively. ‘After 40
years in the fur business, I’ll teach you hard. Hard like you
don’t know hard. Why are you standing there? Report in to your
father and see what it is you can do to help him. Poor old man. You
should be ashamed of yourself, leaving this job to him until the last
minute. And him so upset and all, for fear you might get hurt. And
nice Mr. Polaney, that he shouldn’t be stuck with someone like
you.’ Her
phone rang and she picked it up before the first brrrrng had ended.
‘Sunshine is Nicer headquarters,’ she said, listened a
moment, then barked, ‘I don’t care what you promised,
-you’re going to have those sound trucks here in one hour. One
hour. That’s right. Oh, no? Now listen. Do you know Judge
Mandelbaum? Yes, well, he would be very interested to know that you
are not willing to rent your trucks to anybody who calls. Did you
know that’s a violation of the federal fair election laws?’
She shrugged at Remo. ‘Yes, that’s right, and Judge
Mandelbaum knows it, who is the husband of my cousin, Pearl. And
anytime you shouldn’t think that blood is thicker. ...’
She put her hand over the phone and shook her head at Remo again.
‘Inside,’ she hissed. ‘Help your father.’
Then she was back on the phone. Remo shook
his head in astonishment. There were fifty women working in the
office, and more arriving each minute, brushing by Remo with a
brusque ‘Unblock the door,’ tossing floppy flowered hats
on tables, and without being directed, sitting down at desks and
tables to begin working on what apparently were voter registration
lists. Mrs.
Hirshberg hung up. ‘I got rid of your three playboy bunnies,’
she told Remo. ‘For campaign work, they are like zero. Maybe
after the election, we find a nice place for them in a massage parlor
somewhere.’ Remo finally
left the doorway and walked to the back office where Teri Walker
usually worked. Inside, Chiun was seated behind her desk. He smiled
when he looked up and saw Remo. ‘My
son,’ he said in greeting. ‘My
father,’ said Remo, bowing deferentially. ‘My
resourceful, astonishing, devious, worry-about-me sneak of a father.’ ‘Just
so you shouldn’t be forgetting,’ Chiun said. CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE BY
noon, three hundred women were on the streets of the city. They went
door to door with literature. They assaulted the shopping centers.
They broke into song at random moments: ‘Sunshine
is nicer. ‘Vote
for Polaney.’ People who
refused literature or who made nasty comments about Mac Polaney were
subjected to cajolery. The easy abuse with which they dealt with each
other had been left in campaign headquarters. On the street, under
Mrs. Hirshberg’s guidance, it was all sugar. ‘So, it
wouldn’t hurt you to vote for Mr. Polaney. So what’s
wrong with having a nice guy as mayor for a change. Look, I know how
you feel, being Mayor Cartwright’s sister and all, but why not
be giving an honest man a chance. You can trust Mr. Polaney.’ This
was underway in full force at 12 noon. At 12:01 p.m., the Cartwright
headquarters were aware of what was happening. At 12:35 p.m.,
countermeasures were underway. It would be
very simple, Marshal Dworshansky explained to Cartwright. These are
volunteers who therefore have no real stake in Tuesday’s
election. Make an object lesson of one or two of them and the others
will quickly find very good reasons to return to their Mah Jongg
games. This was
subsequently explained to Theophilus Pedaster and Gumbo Jackson, who
were assigned by a friend of theirs to deliver this object lesson. ‘Women,
you say?’ said Theophilus Pedaster, giggling. ‘Young
women or old women?’ ‘Old
women.’ Pedaster
looked disappointed. Gumbo Jackson, however, did not. He was the
smarter of the two and had already taken the four hundred dollars
offered for the job and placed it in his pocket. ‘Young women,
old women,’ he said, ’it doesn’t matter. Just a
leeetle lesson.’ And he grinned because it had all been
carefully explained to him. Unfortunately,
someone had forgotten to explain it nearly that carefully to a little
old Oriental in orange robes, who was accompanying the first group of
ladies that Pedaster and Jackson confronted. ‘Give
us all them leaflets,’ Pedaster had said. ‘You
get one each,’ said the big-busted woman in the blue dress, who
was leading the group. ‘Ah
wants them all,’ Pedaster repeated. ‘You
get one.’ Pedaster
pulled a knife from his pocket. ‘You don’t understand. Ah
needs them all.’ He looked at Gumbo Jackson who also pulled a
knife. ‘Protect
Chiun,’ the bosomy woman yelled, and then swung her purse up
over her head, down onto Pedaster’s skull. Three women joined
her, swinging their heavy pocketbooks. It was bad, man, and finally
Pedaster decided he better cut somebody. But that
didn’t work either. In the mix of bodies and arms and
pocketbooks, he saw an orange-robed arm flash, and his knife was
gone. Worse yet, his arm was disabled. He turned toward Gumbo, just
in time to see an orange flash bury deep into Gumbo’s stomach.
Gumbo splatted onto the sidewalk like a fresh egg. Pedaster
looked at his lifelong closest friend there, unconscious on the
ground, the women hovering over him, and he did what he had been
trained to do since childhood. He fled. Behind him,
he heard the women babbling: ‘Is Chiun all right? Are you okay?
These shvartzes didn’t hurt you?’ It was
only when he got three blocks away that Pedaster realized Gumbo had
the four hundred. Oh well, let him keep it. If he lived, he deserved
it. Pedaster would have no need for it, since he was going to visit
his family in Alabama. Right away, By nightfall,
every hand in the city had held a piece of Polaney Literature. The
next day, every house was visited by a team of women who explained
why all decent, self-respecting persons would vote only for Polaney.
There were so many Polaney volunteers on the street that Cartwright
workers began to feel oppressed, skulking across streets, ducking
into bars, chucking their remaining literature down sewers rather
than risk the wrath of the sharp-tongued.women who somehow had gotten
onto Polaney’s bandwagon. And over the
entire city rang the noise of the sound trucks: ‘Sunshine
is Nicer. ‘Vote
for Polaney.’ In the
taverns and the living rooms, whose air conditioning sealed out the
sound truck noises from the street, the message came pouring out of
televisions and radios, saturating Miami Beach. Vote for
Polaney. The message
even found its way onto a cabin radio in a large white and silvered
yacht, bobbing gently a half mile off the shore of the city. Marshal
Dworshansky angrily flipped the radio off, and turned to his
daughter, immaculate and cool in a white linen pants suit. ‘I had
not expected this,’ Dworshansky said, beginning to pace, his
heavily muscled arms bulging under a tight blue tee shirt. ‘What?’ ‘That
Polaney would be able to put together such a campaign. I had not
expected,’ he said reproachfully, ’that your work for him
would be quite so productive.’ ‘I
don’t understand it,’ said Dorothy Walker. ‘I
personally approved the commercials and the advertising because they
were the worst I had ever seen. The best way for them to waste their
money.’ ‘Waste
money? Hah,’ said the old man who, at that moment, looked old
and mean. ‘That money might buy the election. We must find
something else.’ Dorothy
Walker stood up and smoothed the front of her pants-suit jacket.
‘Father,’ she said, ’it is a thing I think I must
do for you. We will find if this Remo has a weak spot.’ CHAPTER
TWENTY-FOUR ‘I WANT
a hundred in a package,’ Mrs. Ethel Hirshberg told Remo. ‘Not
ninety-nine. Not one hundred one. I want one hundred. So count them.’ ‘You
count them,’ Remo said. ‘There’s one hundred in
these packages.’ ‘How
can there be one hundred when you don’t count them? Just reach
in and grab, pull out anything and tell me it’s one hundred? I
shouldn’t be like you in business, thank heavens.’ ‘It’s
one hundred,’ said Remo stubbornly. Ethel Hirshberg had had him
at the job for over an hour now, breaking down vast boxes of
brochures into stacks of 100 for wrapping and distribution to
volunteers. Remo did it like a card trick, running his fingers down
the side of a stack until he knew there were 100 brochures there.
‘It’s one hundred,’ he repeated. ‘But
you count,’ Ethel Hirshberg said. Chiun came
out of Teri Walker’s office. He was wearing his heavy black
brocaded robe and his serenity was like a force of nature. ‘Chiun,’
Remo yelled. Chiun turned,
looked at Remo without expression, and then smiled as his face came
to rest on Mrs. Hirshberg. ‘Come
here, will you,’ said Remo. Mrs.
Hirshberg shook her head. ‘Your father. Your father, yet, and
you talk like that. Come here. No respect at all for your elders. Or
your betters.’ Chiun
approached them. Remo and
Ethel both tried to state their own case first. ‘I want
piles of one hundred.. ..’ ‘These
are piles of one hundred....’ ‘So it
shouldn’t hurt to count them. Just to make sure we don’t
waste them. ...’ ‘I
don’t have to count them if I know there’s a hundred
here.’ Chiun raised
a hand on Remo’s dying words: ‘How many are in this pile,
Chiun?’ Chiun looked
at the pile of leaflets in front of Remo, lifted it into his hand,
and said magisterially, This pile contains 102 brochures.’ ‘See,’
Ethel said. ‘Count them from now on.’ She walked away,
and Remo said, ‘Chiun, why did you say that? You know there’s
only one hundred in that pile.’ ‘You
are so sure? The infallible one cannot make a mistake?’ . ‘No,
I can make a mistake, but I didn’t. There’s one hundred
here.’ ‘So?
For two brochures, you argue with volunteer labor? Does one win war
by losing all battles?’ ‘Dammit,
Chiun, I can’t let that woman browbeat me any more. I’ve
been working here forever. One hundred is one hundred. Why should I
count them when I can finger-weigh them?’ ‘Because
if you do not count them, all our ladies will walk out the door. Then
what will you do? Go back to foolish child’s plan of partial
violence against the enemy? A plan that will most likely destroy you?
And your Mr. Polaney? Does he just go back, quietly, to losing?’ ‘Chiun,
I liked it better when we were losing.’ ‘Losers
always like it better when losing. The act of winning takes not only
discipline but morality.’ ‘The
morality of saying one hundred is really one hundred and two?’
Remo asked. ‘The
morality of saying it is two hundred and fourteen if that is
necessary.’ ‘Chiun,
you are despicable.’ ‘You
are sloppy and that is worse. While this pack does contain one
hundred, that one contains only ninety-nine.’ He pointed to
another stack of brochures, seven feet away on the long table. ‘Wrong,
Chiun. One hundred.’ ‘Ninety-nine.’ ‘You’ll
see,’ Remo said. He leaned over, snatched up the suspect pile,
and began to count them loudly onto the table. ‘One. Two.
Three.’ As he
counted, Chiun walked away, back toward Mrs. Hirshberg’s desk. ‘He
understands now,’ Chiun said gently. ‘You see, he is not
really bad. Just lazy.’ Over the room
came Remo’s voice. ‘Seventeen. ‘Eighteen. ‘Nineteen.’ ‘Like
so many young people today,’ Ethel Hirshberg said, consoling
Chiun. ‘I never thought to ask. Can he count to one hundred?’ ‘He
needs only to reach ninety-nine with that pile,’ Chiun said. ‘Twenty-five. ‘Twenty-six, ‘Twenty-seven.’ Dorothy
Walker seemed to exude cool breezes as she came through the door,
crisp and fresh in a white suit, and paused at Mrs. Hirshberg’s
desk. ‘Is
Remo in?’ she said. Ethel
Hirshberg raised a finger to her lips. ‘Shhh,’ she
said.‘He is busy right now.’ ‘Forty-seven. ‘Forty-eight. ‘Forty-nine.’ ‘Will
he be done soon?’ Dorothy Walker said, looking at Remo, whose
head was down over the table in intense concentration. ‘He’s
only got fifty more to count,’ Mrs. Hirshberg said. ‘For
him, another fifteen minutes?’ ‘I’ll
wait.’ ‘Please
do.’ ‘Sixty-four. ‘Sixty-five. ‘Sixty-six.’ As Dorothy
Walker waited, her eyes roamed the headquarters, quietly impressed by
the efficiency and organization with which more than two dozen
volunteers were carrying out logistical work. ‘Ninety-seven. ‘Ninety-eight. ‘Ninety-nine. ‘NINETY-NINE?’ Remo looked
up and saw Dorothy Walker. He smiled toward her and approached. ‘Yes?’
Chum said. ‘Yes,
what?’ ‘You
have nothing to say?’ ‘What’s
to say?’ ‘There
were how many?’ Chiun asked. ‘I
don’t know,’ Remo said. ‘You
don’t know?’ ‘I
don’t know. I got tired and stopped counting at ninety-nine.’ Of the next
words, Remo recognized a few. He would ignore Chiun. Remo, at least,
would not stoop to petty bickering. Dorothy
Walker smiled at him. ‘I thought I’d see how the winner
lives,’ she said. ‘You
think so?’ Remo said. ‘You
can’t miss.’ ‘Just
so long as Albert Einstein here doesn’t count the votes,’
Mrs. Hirshberg interrupted. ‘Come
on,’ Remo said to Dorothy Walker. ‘These lower-echelon
types don’t understand us creative people.’ ‘Is Ten
around?’ ‘She
said everything was in the can for tomorrow’s commercials and
advertisements. She was going out of town to stay with a friend, and
she said she’d see us tomorrow night at the TV studio,’
Remo said. Dorothy
Walker nodded. ‘I’ll talk to her tomorrow,’ she
said. She let Remo
lead her out. He enjoyed it. She looked good and smelled even nicer -
a fresh, crisp floral scent. The scent was
even stronger in his nostrils later, in Dorothy Walker’s
apartment, when she took from his hand the glass she had put there,
pressed her body against his and planted her mouth on his. She stayed
locked there a long time, exuding her clean aroma into Remo’s
nostrils. He watched a tiny pulse in her temple increase its speed. She stopped,
and led Remo by the hand out onto the balcony of the penthouse. Up
there, above the lights of the strip, the night was black. She still
held Remo’s hand as, with her other hand, she stretched out far
to the left and then swept around past the sea in front of them, then
further on, until her hand swung in front of Remo and came up onto
his shoulder. She leaned her head against his upper arm. ‘Remo,
this could all be ours,’ she said. ‘Ours?’ ‘I’ve
decided that my firm is going to open a political division, and I
want you to head it.’ Remo, who
knew that he had obvious political skills and was pleased that they
were recognized, paused a moment, then said, ‘Sorry. That’s
not my line.’ ‘Just
what is your line?’ ‘I like
to move from place to place, doing good wherever I go/ he said,
feeling for a moment that it was true, and sensing the satisfaction
the same lie always gave Chiun. ‘Let’s
not fool each other, Remo/ she said. ‘I know you feel the same
attraction for me that I do for you. Now how can we be together? To
satisfy that attraction? How and where and when?’ To which Remo
replied, ‘How about here and now? Like this.’ He had her
there, on the smooth tile of the balcony, their own body smells
mingling and strengthening the cool flowered smell of Dorothy Walker.
To Remo, it was a parting gift. She would go on to become a political
manager; Remo, he knew, would go back to doing what he did - being
the second-best assassin in the world. It would have been heartless
of him, not to give her some way to remember him in those empty years
she faced ahead. So he gave of
himself, until she shuddered and lay, smiling still, beneath him. And later,
she said, ‘This is a dirty business, this politics, Remo. Let’s
forget Polaney. Let’s go now.’ Remo watched
the stars blink in the blackness overhead and said, ‘Too late
now. There’s no turning back.’ ‘Just
an election?’ she asked. He shook his
head. ‘Not just an election. First, I elect Polaney. And then I
do what I really came to do.’ ‘It’s
that important?’ she said. ‘This thing that you do?’ ‘I
don’t know whether it’s important or not,’ he said.
‘But it’s what I do, and so I do it. I guess it’s
important.’ And then he
had her again. When the door
clicked shut behind him, Dorothy Walker rose and went to the
telephone. Her number came through quickly. ‘Papa,’
she said. ‘This Remo is your government man, and I don’t
think there’s any way to make him back off. He believes in what
he’s doing.’ Then: ‘Yes,
Papa, I suppose there is always that way. It’s just truly a
shame. He is a man like you, papa.’ CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE ‘FOR my
next number, I would like to play Nola. I would also like to play the
Flight of the Bumblebee. Since I can’t play either of them,
I’ll try to play My Old Kentucky Home.’ Mac Polaney
was wearing frayed bottom shorts, sneakers with no socks, a red
boatneck shirt, and a baseball cap with a script B on it that looked
like an old Brooklyn Dodger issue. He sat on a
wooden stool, braced his long woodcutting saw against one foot, and
began to stroke it with a violin bow. The wailing the ramin sound it
made was a reasonable facsimile of My Old Kentucky Home. In the wings
Remo winced. ‘This
is terrible,’ he hissed to Chiun. ‘Where’s Teri?’ ‘Her
whereabouts are not my campaign assignment,’ Chiun said.
‘Besides, I think he plays his strange instrument extremely
well. It is an art alien to my homeland.’ ‘And to
mine,’ Remo said. ‘We must be losing hundreds of votes a
minute.’ ‘One
can never tell,’ Chiun said. ‘Perhaps Miami Beach is
ready for a saw virtuoso in City Hall. He may be an idea whose time
has come.’ ‘Thank
you, Chiun, for consoling me.’ Remo and
Chiun watched in silence as Mac Polaney hammed it up for the
television camera. But where was Teri Walker? She was supposed to
have been there. Perhaps, she
could have gotten Mac Polaney to talk about the campaign a little.
Particularly with what this three-hour extravaganza was costing Remo.
And she certainly would have known how to handle that out-of-town
television crew. They had told studio people and Remo that they were
from a New York-based network and were filming a special on election
techniques. After some haggling, they were allowed to set up their
camera in the opposite wing of the stage, and now the two men manning
it kept it fixed on Polaney running off miles of film. They made Remo
uneasy, but he chalked it off to his longstanding feeling that
disasters would be kept in the family and not filmed for posterity. Chiun was
saying something to him. ‘Shhhh,’
said Remo. ‘I want to see if he reaches the high note.’ Polaney
almost reached it. Chiun insisted, ‘There are other vibrations
you might consider.’ ‘Such
as?’ ‘Such
as those two gentlemen of television over there, They are not
authentic.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Because
for the last five minutes, their picture machine has been aimed at
that stain on the ceiling.’ Remo looked.
Sure enough, the camera was pointing away from Polaney, its film
grinding rapidly away. The two cameramen were kneeling down next to
their equipment box. As Remo and Chiun watched, they came up
standing, guns in their hands, focused on Polaney. All the
people out there in what Mac Polaney had called ’television
land’ missed the most exciting part of his campaign special.
Remo moved for the gunmen, but Chiun was already there. Viewers had
seen only a green swish as the robed Chiun moved across the stage,
past Polaney, and
then, as Polaney finished his number with one last dying note, they
heard shots, then sharp thwacks, then screams. The cameraman
surrendered to his instinct and turned the camera off Polaney and
swung it to the side. Chiun hopped nimbly back behind the drapes and
the camera saw only the bodies of the two bogus cameramen, lying
there on the bare wooden floor, unmoving, dead. The camera
froze there a moment, then began moving back to Polaney. With horror,
Remo realized he was standing directly between Polaney and the
camera, ready to present his face to the audience for posterity and
all he could think of was how Dr. Smith would resent it. Remo turned
his back to the camera and said into the overhead microphone: ‘Do not
be alarmed, ladies and gentlemen. An attempt has just been made on
Mr. Polaney’s life, but our security guards have the situation
well in hand.’ Then, still
without turning, without showing his face to the camera, Remo sidled
off the stage, leaving framed in the center of the camera lens Mac
Polaney, holding his saw by the handle, looking off toward the side
of the stage where the dead men lay. Finally
Polaney turned back toward the camera. Slowly he
said: ‘They
were trying to silence me. But people have tried to silence me
before, and they all have failed. Because only death would silence
me.’ He stopped. A
cameraman cheered. In the control booth, an engineer applauded. Polaney
waited a moment, then said: ‘I hope you will all vote for me
tomorrow. Good night.’ And with his
saw under his arm, he moved away, off camera, into the wings where
Remo stood, now joined by Chiun. The
music of ‘Sunshine is Nicer’ came up and over. ‘That
was quick thinking,’ Remo said. ‘Quick
thinking? About what?’ Polaney asked. That bit
about people trying to silence you. Real good politics.’ ‘But
it’s true,’ Polaney said. ‘Every time I play the
saw, someone’s trying to keep me quiet.’ ‘You
were talking about the saw?’ ‘Well,
of course. What else?’ ‘Where’s
Teri?’ Remo bawled. Teri Walker
was not in the small apartment she kept in the hotel which housed
Polaney’s campaign headquarters, but something else was. On her desk
Remo found a note. It read: ‘Teri. Under no circumstances, go
to the studio tonight. This is important. Mother.’ The note was
fresh and fragrant and Remo lifted it to his face. It even smelled
like Dorothy Walker. It had that clean ... and then he realized it.
It had the smell of lilacs. The same smell that had been on the ice
picks he had found in Willard Farger and City Manager Clyde
Moskowitz. Dorothy
Walker. She had been the leak from the Polaney campaign, taking
Remo’s money and playing both sides against the middle. And the
night before, she had tried to use him. Remo walked
to Dorothy Walker’s nearby penthouse apartment, forced the
door, and sat on the soft brown arm chair in the living room and
waited. He waited through the night and until the sun was high. No
Dorothy Walker. And finally the phone rang. Remo picked
it up. ‘Hello.’ ‘Hello,
who’s this? Remo?’ said Teri Walker. ‘Right.’ She giggled.
‘So my mother finally trapped you. I knew she would.’ ‘Afraid
not, Teri. Your mom’s not here. She hasn’t been here all
night.’ ‘Oh.
She must be out on Grandpa’s boat. Probably talking about the
campaign. He’s very interested.’ ‘What
boat?’ Remo said. ‘The
Encolpius,’ she said. ‘It’s tied up in the bay.’ ‘Thanks,’
Remo said. ‘By the way, why didn’t you show up at
the studio last night?’ ‘Momma
left me a note and told me not to. When I talked to her on the phone,
she said there was a chance of violence, and that you said it was
best I stayed away. So I stayed at my friend’s house again. But
I watched. I thought it was wonderful.’ ‘If you
think that was good, watch what comes next,’ Remo said. He hung up
and left the apartment building, walking toward the water. ‘You’ve
lost, poppa,’ Dorothy Walker was wearing a green cocktail dress
in the main sitting room of the yacht, talking to Marshal
Dworshansky. ‘I
know, my dear. I know. But who would have thought our men would miss?
And such good men. Sasha and Dmitri. They would have done anything
for us.’ ‘Yes,
but miss they did. And now there is no way that Mr. Polaney is not
going to win the election. You failed to consider the public reaction
if your men missed.’ ‘That
is true.’ Dworshansky smiled sadly. ‘Perhaps I am just
growing old. Too old to have my own city. Well. There are other fish
in the sea.’ ‘Maybe
now, papa, you’ll retire as you should have years ago. Losing,
you always told me, is the only sin.’ ‘Do I
detect a note of exultation? You may have lost something too,’
he said. ‘No,
papa, I’ve won. Polaney will be the mayor. Teri and I will be
his closest advisors. Inside of six months, I will own the city. And
then I will give it to you. I owe you that gift.’ As
Dworshansky listened, he understood that Dorothy Walker’s offer
of a gift was not made in love, but as full payment of an annoying
debt. He looked at her and said, ‘Perhaps we both have lost
something.’ ‘That’s
right,’ came a voice. Remo stood in the doorway. ‘You’ve
both lost.’ ‘Who
are you?’ Dworshansky demanded. ‘Who is this man?’ Dorothy
stood up and smiled at Remo. ‘This is Remo, my associate from
Mr. Polaney’s campaign. The only other person with enough
vision to see that Mac Polaney was what Miami Beach needed.’ ‘Save
it for your next dog food commercial,’ Remo said. ‘I
finally wised up. When I found out why Teri wasn’t at the
studio. Did you do it just to capture the city?’ Dworshansky
nodded. ‘Why not?’ he said. ‘Can you think of a
better reason?’ He talked easily, almost happily. ‘But
why kill Farger?’ ‘Farger?
Oh yes. That was just to remind Mayor Cartwright’s people that
we did not look kindly upon defections. Of course, when you disposed
of Farger’s body and kept the killing quiet, that eliminated
any value we might have gotten from it.’ ‘And
Moskowitz?’ ‘Moskowitz
was weak,’ Dworshansky said. ‘I think he would rather
have gone to jail than to play in this high-stakes game. We could not
chance somebody on the inside cracking.’ ‘And
you dragged the federal government and the League papers into the
campaign because. ...’ ‘. ...
Because it was the only way to keep Cartwright and his thieves out of
jail and to get Cartwright reelected. You see, I figured that the
government would be afraid to act against Cartwright if it was,
itself, under fire from him.’ ‘Good
plan,’ Remo said. ‘It tied my hands for a long time, made
me afraid to do what should have been done to Cartwright and to you.
Too bad you finally lost.’ Dworshansky
smiled. A deep white smile in his dark tan face. ‘No, my
friend. I have not lost. You have lost.’ He lunged for
a small box on top of the sitting room’s piano and answered
Remo’s last question. When he drew
out the ice pick, Remo realized that he -not Cartwright, not Dorothy
Walker, not any of the hired hands - this muscled old man had been
the killer. He had wanted to clear that up. Remo grinned. Dworshansky
charged him. As he got close to Remo, Remo could smell the
overpowering aroma of the lilac cologne. Dworshansky wasted no time
on preliminaries. He aimed a roundhouse at Remo’s temple,
hoping to drive the ice pick in to the hilt. Remo slid back, just out
of the pick’s range, then moved forward again, slamming the
hell out of his left hand against Dworshansky’s right arm,
forcing the pick to continue its giant arc, until it buried itself
deep into the left side of Dworshansky’s own throat. The man
gurgled, looked at Remo in shock and surprise, then dropped to the
floor. Dorothy
Walker stood. She cast only a fleeting glance at her father, then
said: ‘Oh, Remo. We can do it. You and I. First this city and
then the state.’ ‘Not
even one tear to shed for your father?’ She moved
close to Remo, insinuating her body against his. She smiled. ‘Not
even one,’ she said. ‘I’ve always been too busy
living ... and loving... to weep.’ ‘We’ll
see what we can do to correct that,’ Remo said. Before she
could move or react, her scream was frozen in her throat as Remo
calmly shattered her temple. He let her down softly on the floor,
next to her father, and closed the sitting room door behind him. Remo
found the yacht empty of crew. He moved the big boat down to the
southern tip of Miami Beach and anchored it two hundred yards off
shore. The crew, who had been given the afternoon off by Dworshansky,
was not likely to happen upon it there. Remo swam into the beach. The
next stop on his schedule was Mayor Tim Cartwright. CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX MAYOR Timothy
Cartwright opened his upper right desk drawer. Where there would be
an opening on a normal desk, here there was a metal slide. Cartwright
undipped his keychain from the back of his belt, and with a thin
steel key unlocked the slide. He took from
the drawer piles of bills, twenties, fifties, hundreds and shoveled
them into his briefcase. How many
times, he thought, had losing candidates delayed their appearance
before their supporters at campaign headquarters? And how many times
had they been too busy to speak, because they had first had to go to
their offices to collect the money and get rid of the evidence? Well, it
didn’t matter. He had come in honest and poor; he would go out
dishonest and rich. The money in safe deposit boxes around the
country; the jewelry and bonds overseas. He would never have to worry
about the future. The city had chosen Mac Polaney, so that was their
problem. Let the voters live with it. He would be far away. And when
police protection fell apart, when city services became first
negligible, then non-existent, when the town was an open city for
hoodlums, bums and hippies, and the public clamored for Tim
Cartwright to come back and straighten things out, they could hold
their hands on their asses. He would be long gone. He visualized
his headquarters now, awash with tears. How strange. There were more
tears shed by one rabid supporter than by all the losing incumbents
in the history of the world. Not strange at all, he then realized.
The losing incumbent had already gotten his; what did he have to cry
about? ‘Going
somewhere?’ The voice
broke Cartwright’s reverie. ‘How
did you get in here?’ he said, knowing that the building was
locked and Sheriff Clyde McAdow stood guard at the back entrance of
the municipal building. ‘The
sheriff decided to take a nap. A long nap. Now it’s your turn.’ ‘You’re
that Remo, aren’t you?’ Cartwright said. His hand moved
stealthily toward a desk drawer. ‘That’s
right,’ Remo said. ‘And if your hand reaches that drawer,
your hand’ll come off.’ Cartwright
froze, then said casually, ‘Why? What have you got against me?’ ‘A few
things. Farger. Moskowitz. The attempt on Polaney?’ ‘You
know they were all the marshal’s idea, don’t you?’
Cartwright said. ‘Not mine. His.’ ‘I
know,’ Remo said. ‘Everything was his idea. The League
papers. Killing poor Bullingsworth. Attacking Folcroft. The federal
government.’ Cartwright
shrugged his shoulders and grinned, the kind of grin mastered best by
Irish politicians caught with their hands in the till. ‘So? It
was true, wasn’t it? You’re here.’ ‘That’s
right,’ Remo said. ‘We’re both here.’ ‘Now
what?’ ‘Here’s
what. You sit down at that desk and write what I dictate.’ Cartwright
nodded. ‘Okay. That’s what you get out of it. What do I
get out of it?’ ‘You
live. That’s one. That briefcase of money. That’s two. A
free ride out of the country. That’s three.’ ‘Do you
mind if I call the marshal?’ ‘Yes,’
Remo said, ‘I do mind. He told me he would not accept your
call.’ Cartwright
measured Remo again with his eyes, then with an almost imperceptible
shrug, sat down at the desk, took Mayor’s Office stationery
from the center drawer and a pen from the ebony desk set in front of
him. He looked up at Remo. ‘Address
it,’ Remo said, ’to the people of Miami Beach.’ Mac Polaney
held the paper up in his hands. To
celebrate his new found eminence as mayor-elect of Miami Beach, he
had dressed in a pair of full length blue jeans. His white tennis
sneakers had given way to open toed leather thong sandals. In place
of a red boat-neck shirt, he was wearing a long sleeved pink silk
shirt with Catfish Corners Bowling Team embroidered on the back. ‘Copies
of this paper are being made ready for you members of the press,’
he said. ‘In it, Mayor Cartwright tells how he tried to confuse
the citizenry about the League papers. They were all a fraud, he
said. The only purpose was to draw attention away from his shakedowns
and extortion, which he freely admits to in the letter. ‘He
apologizes to the people of Miami Beach and as the next mayor, I
accept the apology for the people of Miami Beach and cordially invite
soon-to-be former Mayor Cartwright to the annual Catfish-in-June
festival, which will award a hundred dollar prize for the catch of
the largest catfish, even if I warn him not to think about winning
the money, because I am going to be entered and will probably win. In
addition, according to Mayor Cartwright’s statement which I
have here in my hand, he doesn’t need an extra hundred dollars.
He’s got enough money.’ ‘Where
is the mayor now?’ one reporter asked. Mac Polaney
wiped his brow in the heat of the overhead TV lights. ‘You’re
looking at him, bub.’ ‘To
what do you attribute your landslide victory?’ ‘To
clean living and eight hundred international units of Vitamin E each
and every day.’ Remo turned
from the television set. ‘All right, let’s go,’ he
said. He pushed Cartwright out of the dingy waterfront bar and led
him to the end of the dock where they boarded a small outboard motor
boat. In two minutes, Remo was at the Encolpius, following Cartwright
up the gangplank to the main deck. Cartwright still clutched his
money-filled attaché case. ‘Where
is the marshal?’ Cartwright asked. ‘Right
in here,’ Remo said, pushing open the door to the main sitting
room. Cartwright walked past Remo, saw on the floor the bodies of
Dworshansky and his daughter, and turned back to Remo. ‘You
promised,’ he said. ‘Never
trust a politician’s promise,’ Remo said, just before his
hard, iron-wedge hand crashed against Cartwright’s skull. As
Cartwright dropped, Remo said: ‘You peaked too early.’ Remo moved to
the bow of the boat, started the yacht’s engines, and set the
automatic pilot on a low-speed course heading due east. Then he went
down below into the engine room, emptied out one of the diesel tanks,
and spilled its contents all over the engine room. On top of that,
for good measure, he emptied another twenty gallon drum of regular
gasoline, setting a small trail of saturated rags and papers out into
the passage-way. He dropped a
match into the rags which lit with a puff, as Remo ran up the
stairway to the main deck and slid down the steps into his motor boat
which was being pulled along by the powerful yacht. He untied the
ropes lashing him to the yacht, let his boat drift away for a hundred
yards, then started his own motor and aimed the small outboard back
to shore. Halfway to
the shore, he heard a loud thump behind him. He turned around and saw
a flash of fire. He cut his motor and watched. The flames burned
brightly, slowly reduced themselves to a glow, and then exploded with
a crashing thump that resounded in Remo’s ears. Seconds later,
the sea was again still. Remo stared
at the spot for awhile, then turned his attention and his boat back
to shore. Later that
night, Remo watched the television news. It was a
tapestry of complicated story after complicated story. Reporters
hinted that Mayor Cartwright had fled after submitting his confession
to Polaney. They speculated that Cartwright himself had killed
Bullingsworth and Moskowitz because they had unmasked his thefts, and
then had killed Sheriff Clyde McAdow, whose body was found in the
city hall parking lot, because McAdow had tried to prevent his
escape. And then of
course there was Mac Polaney’s overwhelming election victory,
and the television film of his press conference, at which he
announced his first appointment, Mrs. Ethel Hirshberg, as city
treasurer. Mrs.
Hirshberg grabbed the microphone from him and said, ‘I vow to
watch city money like it was mine and to keep an eye on the mayor and
to treat him like my own son, for which I have plenty of time since
my son never even calls me.’ Remo could
take no more. He flipped off the television and dialed the 800
area-code number. It rang.
Once. Twice. Three times. And then it was picked up. ‘Yes?’
said the lemony voice. ‘Remo
here.’ ‘Yes,’
said Dr. Smith. ‘I recognize the voice. Even if it has been a
long while.’ ‘I’ve
pulled your irons out of the fire,’ Remo said. ‘Oh? I
was not aware I had any irons in the fire.’ ‘Have
you seen the news? Polaney’s election. Cartwright’s
confession that the League papers were all a fake.’ ‘Yes,
I’ve seen the news, I wonder where Mayor Cartwright has gone,
by the way?’ ‘He’s
gone to sea,’ Remo said. ‘I
see,’ Smith said. ‘I will carry your report to Number
One. He returns tonight, you know.’ ‘I
know,’ Remo said. ‘We political types keep on top of the
news.’ ‘Is
that all?’ Smith asked. ‘I
suppose so.’ ‘Good-bye.’ Smith hung up
and Remo replaced the telephone, feeling disgusted. He looked at
Chiun. ‘Does
one expect thanks from an emperor?’ Chiun said. ‘I
wasn’t expecting to have my feet kissed if that’s what
you mean. But maybe, just a thank you. Just saying it wouldn’t
have been hard.’ ‘Emperor’s
do not thank,’ Chiun said. ‘They pay for and expect the
best. Just consider yourself blessed that you were almost the city
treasurer of Miami Beach.’ Richard
Sapir and Warren Murphy The
Destroyer: Kill or Cure With the
exception of the House of Sinanju, any resemblance between characters
and events and any persons living or dead is purely coincidental. CHAPTER
ONE JAMES
BULLESTGSWORTH had entertained few original thoughts in his life, but
his last one was good enough to get him an ice pick in his brain,
send a multitude of government agents fleeing to obscure outposts,
and leave the president of the United States gasping: ‘Why do
these things always have to happen to me?’ This
particular doozy of an idea came to James Bullingsworth one morning
in late spring while doing volunteer work for the Greater Florida
Betterment League where he had been volunteering nine to five, Monday
through Friday, for the last two years. That Bullingsworth tended not
to probe too deeply into the reasons of things was why he got the
job, and before he started thinking new things, he should have
remembered how he had volunteered. The volunteer
ceremony had been brief. The president of the bank where
Bullingsworth worked had called him into his office. ‘Bullingsworth,
what do you think of improving the government of the greater Miami
area?’ the president had asked. Bullingsworth
had thought improvement was a good idea. ‘Bullingsworth,
how would you like to volunteer your time and effort to the Greater
Florida Betterment League?’ Bullingsworth
would like to do that, but it might interfere with his career at the
bank. ‘Bullingsworth,
that is your career at the bank.’ So James
Bullingsworth, who was known to mind his own business, went to work
for the League while he drew his paychecks from the bank. He should
have remembered the strangeness of his appointment that spring
morning when he noticed a computer printout was incomplete. He said to
his secretary, a young Cuban woman with very high breasts: ‘Miss
Carbonal, this computer printout is incomplete. There are great gaps
in it. It’s just a bunch of random letters. We can’t
forward it in this condition.’ Miss Carbonal
picked up the greenish printout and stared at it. Bullingsworth
stared at her left breast. She was wearing the see-through bra again. ‘We
always send it out like this,’ said Miss Carbonal. ‘What?’
said Bullingsworth. ‘We
been sending out printouts like this for two years now. When we mail
to the Kansas City office, it’s always like this. I speak to
the other girls at other Betterment League offices all around the
country and they say the same. At Kansas City, they must be some
crazy people, yes?’ ‘Let me
see that breast,’ said Bullingsworth, with authority. .
‘What?’
said Miss Carbonal. "The
printout,’ said Bullingsworth, covering up his slip quickly.
‘Let me see it.’ He busied himself in the random letters
with the big gaps. ‘Hmmmmmm,’ said James Bullingsworth,
former assistant vice-president of one of the larger banks in the
greater Miami area. The idea was born. ‘Miss
Carbonal, I want you to get me all the printouts shipped from our
office to Kansas City.’ ‘What
you want that for?’ ‘Miss
Carbonal, I gave you an instruction.’ ‘You be
in plenty trouble, asking questions. You want to look at those
printouts, you go yourself.’ ‘Are
you refusing a direct order, Miss Carbonal?’ ‘You
betcha, Mr. Bullingsworth,’ ‘That’s
all I wanted to hear,’ said Bullingsworth menacingly. ‘You
may leave.’ Miss Carbonal
fluffed out undisturbed. A half-hour later as Bullingsworth left for
lunch, she called to him: ‘Mr.
Bullingsworth, don’t go rocking the boat. You got good money.;
I got good money. We don’t ask questions. What do you want?’ Bullingsworth
approached her desk with great gravity. ‘Miss
Carbonal,’ he said. ‘There are ways to do things. Proper,
businesslike, thorough ways to do things. There are American ways to
do things and that means knowing what you’re doing and not just
dumbly - animal-like -sending off garbled printouts for two years. It
means, Miss Carbonal, understanding what you are doing.’ ‘You’re
a nice man, Mr. Bullingsworth. Take my word for it. Don’t go
rocking the boat. Okay?’ ‘No,’
said Bullingsworth. ‘You
can’t get those other printouts anyway. Henrietta Alvarez is
the girl who does them. She feeds them into the computer, checks the
printout to make sure it’s accurate and then destroys it.
That’s what she was told to do. And she was told to report
anyone asking questions about the printouts.’ ‘You
don’t understand Yankee pluck, Miss Carbonal.’ James
Bullingsworth exercised Yankee pluck that night after all the other
League employees had left the office. He broke into the locked desk
of Henrietta Alvarez and, as he had suspected, found inside a
foot-high compression of light-green printouts. Amused at his
secretary’s apprehension, Bullingsworth took the thick pile of
printouts into his office for inspection. His confidence soared as he
read the first line of each printout. They
obviously were in code and he, James Bullingsworth, would break that
code for his amusement. He needed a diversion, in a job that occupied
only two hours of each working day. Incredible that anyone could
think such a thing could escape his notice for long, he thought. Were
they fools at the National Betterment League’s headquarters in
Kansas City? The code
proved to be quite simple, almost like a crossword puzzle. Putting a
week’s printouts together at once, the gaps on the lines were
filled. The only question was which order the letters must be read
in. ‘Tragf
pu,’ scribbled Bullingsworth, and with that he rearranged the
sheets again. ‘Fargt up,’ and he rearranged them again. ‘Graft
up,’ wrote Bullingsworth. Without rearranging the computer
printouts again, he began to copy down the contents of the sheets. He
worked all night long. When he was finished, he scrambled the sheets
and read his handiwork.; ‘Jeeezus
H. Christ,’ he whistled. He looked through the glass door
connecting his office with outside, saw Miss Carbonal arriving for
work, and waved her to come inside. ‘Carmen,
Carmen. Look at this. Look at what I figured out,’
Carmen
Carbonal stuck her fingers in her ears and rushed from the office.
‘Don’t tell me nothing,’ she yelled. He followed
her to her desk. ‘Hey, don’t be afraid,’ he said. ‘You
muy stupidp,’ she said. ‘You big, stupid man. Burn
that stuff. Burn that stuff.’ ‘Aren’t
you interested in what we’re really doing?’ ‘No,’
she cried, sobbing. ‘I don’t want to know. And you
shouldn’t want to know either. You so dumb. Dumb.’ ‘Oh,
Carmen,’ said Bullingsworth, placing a comforting arm around
her heaving shoulder. ‘I’m sorry. If it’ll make you
feel better, I’ll burn everything.’ ‘Too
late,’ she said. ‘Too late.’ ‘It’s
not too late,’ he said. ‘I’ll burn it now." ‘Too
late.’ With great
fanfare, Bullingsworth brought all the copies of the printouts to the
private bathroom in his office and burned them, creating lung-choking
smoke. ‘Now
are you happy?’ he asked Miss Carbonal. ‘Too
late,’ she said, still weeping.; ‘I
burned everything,’ he smiled. But
Bullingsworth had not burned everything. He had saved his notes,
which, among other things, told him why his bank was willing to pay
him a salary for volunteer work with the Greater Florida Betterment
League. It also told him why so many Florida officials had suddenly
been so successfully indicted for kickbacks and extortion. It even
gave him a hint as to how the upcoming local elections would come
out, and why.: Bullingsworth
suddenly felt very proud of his country, secure knowing that America
was doing more to fight the disintegration of the nation than met the
eye. Much more. Only one
thing in the notes bothered him. That was the section on proposed pay
raises for approval by Folcroft’, whatever or whoever Folcroft’
was. Everyone at
his level in the League was getting a 14 percent raise and his was a
non-inflationary 2.5 percent. He decided he wasn’t going to let
it bother him, because he shouldn’t have been aware of the
injustice anyway. He would put it out of his mind. And if he had done
this thing as he had planned, he would have lived to collect his
non-inflationary 2.5 percent pay raise. But his
resolve disappeared later that day when he met the President of the
Greater Miami Trust and Investment Company and wondered why he had
received only a 2.5 percent raise. The president, who considered
himself an expert in industrial and human relations, told
Bullingsworth he was sorry but no one on loan to the Betterment
League was getting more than 2.5 percent. ‘Are
you sure?’ said Bullingsworth. ‘I give
you my word as a banker. Have I ever lied to you?’ The first
thing James Bullingsworth did was have a drink. A martini. Double.
Then he had another martini. And another after that. And when he
arrived home, he told his wife that if she mentioned he had been
drinking, he would punch her heart out, noted that she had been right
all along about how the bank was using him, put on a fresh jacket -
carefully transferring his notebook to the inside pocket - and
flailed out of the house yelling how he was ’going to show
those sons of bitches who James Bullingsworth was’. At
first he played with the idea of exposing the Betterment League in
the Miami Dispatch. But that could get him fired. Then he
thought of confronting the president of the bank. That would get him
the increased money, but somewhere along the road the bank president
would make him suffer. The proper
course of action came to him when he switched to bourbon. Bourbon
focused the mind, elevated it to awarenesses of human relationships
not understood in mere gin and vermouth. Bourbon told
him that it was every man for himself. It was the law of the jungle.
And he, James Bullingsworth, had been a fool to think he lived in a
civilized society. A fool. Did the bartender know that? ‘We’re
cutting you off, Mister,’ said the bartender. ‘Then
you’re the fool,’ Bullingsworth said. ‘Beware the
king of the jungle,’ he said, and remembering a Miami Beach
official who once spoke at a church picnic and said he was glad to
see young men like James Bullingsworth get involved hi civic affairs,
he phoned that official. ‘Why
don’t we talk this over in the morning, huh, fella?’ said
the official. ‘Because,
baby, you may not be around in the morning. They’re going to
indict your ass next. Parking meter receipts.’ ‘Maybe
we’d better not talk about this on the phone. Where can we
meet?’ ‘I want
a million dollars for what I have. A cool million, buddy, because
this is the law of the jungle.’ ‘Do
you know the Mall in Miami Beach, the end of the Mall?’ ‘Do I
know the Mall? Do you know what you people are planning for
construction on Key Biscayne? Do I know the Mall?’ ‘Look,
fella, at the end of the Mall, on the beach near the Ritz Hotel. Can
you get there in an hour?’ ‘I can
get there in fifteen minutes.’ ‘No,
don’t get in any accidents. I think you’ve got something
very valuable." ‘A
million dollars valuable,’ said Bullingsworth, drunkenly
slurring the words. ‘A million dollars.’ He hung up
and, while passing the bar, informed the bartender that he just might
come back, buy the bar and fire his Irish ass the hell out of there.
He waved the notebook with the scribbles in front of the bartender’s
face. ‘It’s
all here, sweetheart. Gonna fire your Irish ass the hell out of here.
Gonna be the biggest political cat in the political jungle. You’ll
think another think before you cut off James Bullingsworth. Where’s
the door?’ ‘You’re
leaning on it,’ said the bartender. ‘Right,’
said Bullingsworth and sailed out into the muggy Miami night. The air
had a bit of a sobering effect on him and by the time he reached the
beach he was only drunk. He kicked the sand and breathed the fresh
salt-air. Maybe he had been a bit precipitous? He looked at his
watch. He could use another drink. He could really use another drink.
Maybe if he went to the president of the bank, explained what he did,
maybe everything could be worked out. He
heard the strains of Bette Midler from an open hotel room window. He
heard a small power-boat approaching. The beach was supposed to be
lit at this hour. All the other sections were indeed well-lighted,
but this section was dark. The Atlantic was black out there, with a
lone ship blinking like an island afloat. Then came a
whisper. ‘Bullingsworth.
Bullingsworth. Is that you?’ "Yeah.
Is that you?’ said Bullingsworth. ‘Yes.’ ‘Where
are you?’ ‘Never
mind. Did you bring the information?’ ‘Yes, I
have it.’ ‘You
tell anyone else?’ Sobering up
all too quickly, Bullingsworth thought about an answer. If he told
them someone else knew about it, then they might think he was
blackmailing them. Then again, that was what he was doing. ‘Look,
never mind,’ said Bullingsworth. ‘We’ll talk about
this some other day. I’m not going to tell anyone else. Let’s
meet tomorrow.’ ‘What
do you have?’ ‘Nothing.
I didn’t bring it.’ ‘What’s
that notebook?’ ‘Oh,
this. Jeez. Just to take notes. I always carry one.’ ‘Let me
see it.’ ‘No,’
said Bullingsworth. ‘You
don’t want me to take it, do you?’ ‘Just
notes. Notes I have.’ ‘Bring
it here.’ ‘They’re
nothing, really. I mean, nothing. Look, my friends are going to pick
me up here any minute. I’ll be seeing you. Tomorrow is fine,’
said Bullingsworth. ‘I’m really sorry to have bothered an
important man like you tonight anyway.’ ‘Bring
the notebook over here, James,’ came the voice, soft and
ominous and tinged, Bullingsworth realized for the first time, with a
touch of Europe. ‘You’ll be sorry if I have to go over
there and get it.’ The voice was
so threatening that Bullingsworth, like a little boy, meekly entered
the darkness. ‘Just
notes,’ he said. ‘Tell
me about them.’ Bullingsworth
smelled the lilac cologne very heavy. The man was shorter than he, by
about an inch, but broader, and there was something in his tone –
something in the way he spoke - that was commanding. He was, of
course, not the politician that Bullingsworth had expected to meet. ‘They’re
just notes,’ Bullingsworth said. ‘From a computer
printout in the Betterment League.’ ‘Who
else knows you made the notes?’ ‘No
one,’ said Bullingsworth, knowing he was saving his secretary’s
life, just as he knew his own life would be soon over. It was as if
he were a spectator to the event. He knew what would happen, there
was nothing he could do, and now he was watching himself about to be
killed. It didn’t seem horrible at all. There was something
beyond horror, like the acceptance of it. ‘Not
even your secretary, Miss Carbonal?’ ‘Miss
Carbonal is a hear-no-evil-see-no-evil, nine-to-five,
pick-up-your-check-and-go-home type. You know, Cuban.’ ‘Yes, I
know. These printouts. What do they say?’ ‘They
show that the National Betterment League is a fake. A secret
government organization that’s investigating and infiltrating
local governments in cities all across the country.’ ‘And
what about Miami Beach?’ ‘The
Greater Florida Betterment League is a cover, too. It’s been
digging into political crime in Miami Beach. Shakedowns, gambling,
extortion. It’s been setting up a case against all the city
officials, getting evidence ready for indictments.’ ‘I see.
Anything else?’ ‘No.
No. That’s about it.’ ‘Would
you like to work for us?’ ‘Sure,’
said Bullingsworth, as sober as he had ever drawn a sober breath. ‘Would
you like your money now?’ ‘Now.
Anytime.’ ‘I see.
Look at that boat behind you. Out there, in the Atlantic. Look.’ Bullingsworth
saw the boat, placid and blinking in the vast darkness. ‘I
don’t believe you,’ said the man with the heavy lilac
cologne and the foreign accent, and then Bullingsworth felt a sharp
sting in his right ear, and saw nothing else. But, in the vast
nothing that is death is often infinite wisdom, and in his last
thought he knew that his killer would face an awesome force that
would grind him and his cohorts into waste material, a force that was
at the very center of the universe. Of course, all of this meant very
little to James Bullingsworth, former assistant vice-president of the
Greater Miami Trust and Investment Company. He was dead. In the course
of normal, morning, beach-cleaning operations, Bullingsworth’s
body was discovered with what appeared to be a wooden tool handle in
his ear. ‘Oh,
no,’ said the sweeper and decided immediately he would not act
like some hysterical woman. He would walk calmly to the nearest
telephone and call the police, giving them exact details and other
useful information. This resolve
to discipline lasted three steps on the sandy beach, whereupon it was
discarded for an alternate course of action. ‘Help.
Arggghh. Dead. Help. Body. Help. Someone. Police. Help!’ The sweeper
might have stayed rooted, screaming until he was hoarse, but an
elderly vacationer spotted him and the body from her hotel window and
phoned the police. ‘Better
bring an ambulance too,’ she said. There’s a hysterical
man down there.’ The police
brought more than an ambulance. They brought photographers and
reporters and television crews. For something had happened during the
night to make the death of this man a very important matter,
important enough to call a press conference where James
Bullingsworth’s doozy of an idea - his belief in a federal
government plot to infiltrate local governments and jail key
officials - got a public airing. Waving the
Bullingsworth notes before the heavy lights of TV camera crews, who
were paid overtime for the pre-dawn work, a local politician of minor
rank talked ominously of the ’most treacherous act of
government interference in the history of our nation.’ CHAPTER
TWO His name was
Remo and he intended to interfere with local government very much. He
intended to make it do its job. He
rested his toes in the brick crevices, and with his
charcoal-blackened hands pressed flat against the rough brick, kept
his balance outside the window. He could smell the heavy fumes of
Boston. He could feel the vibrations of the traffic down below in the
dampish night street through the building wall, and he wished he were
in some place warm and sunny, like Miami Beach. But his assignment
was Boston. First things first. A passerby,
fourteen stories below in front of the hotel, would never see this
figure pressed into the wall, for he wore black shoes, black pants
and black shirt, and his face and hands were blackened with a
charcoal paste given him by the man who had taught him that the side
of a building could be a ladder if the mind knew how to use it as
one. Voices came
from the open window near his right kneecap. The window should not
have been open, but then the two detectives and plainclothesmen
hadn’t done their job very well from the beginning. ‘You’re
sure I’m okay here, fellas?’ asked a man in a rough, rock
voice. That was
Vincent Tomalino, Remo knew. ‘Sure.
You got us with you all the time,’ said another man. Must be
one of the cops, Remo thought, ‘Okay,’
said Tomalino, but his voice lacked conviction. ‘Wanna
play some cards?’ asked one of the cops. ‘No,’
said Tomalino. ‘You sure that window should be open?’ ‘Sure,
sure. Fresh air.’ ‘We can
use the air conditioner." ‘Lookit,
you guinea stool pigeon, don’t tell us our jobs.’ It
struck Remo as amusing that those officers with the heaviest service
to the Mafia were always the freest to use terms like ’guinea’,
’wop’, and ’dago’. Upstairs
probably had some psychological report on that. They had reports on
everything it seemed, from parking-meter graft in Miami Beach to
ex-Mafiosi who were going to be rubbed out because they planned to
talk. Tomalino was
going to talk. On this there
were several opinions. The district attorney promised the papers
Tomalino would probably spill, but the three policemen had promised
the local capo mafioso that he wouldn’t. These opinions
were really just opinions because it had been decided in an office in
Folcroft Sanitarium in Rye, New York, that Vincent ‘The Blast’
Tomalino not only Would talk, but he would tell everything he knew
with a pure heart. ‘I want
to check the window,’ said Tomalino. ‘Stay
where you are,’ said one of the cops. "You two keep him on
the bed. I’m going to check the roof.’ Remo looked
up to the roof. Surprise, surprise - here it came. A rope swooped out
in an arch and slapped back against the side of the hotel. It paused
there a moment, a head peered over and the rope descended, right past
Remo’s knee. He heard the hotel room door open and close, and
assumed the officer was going up to the roof to get his payoff
immediately after the job was done. A large body
grunted its way over the ledge and using hands and feet like clumsy
logs lowered itself down the rope. Remo could smell the man’s
meat-eating breath from five feet away. A carbine which could be
handled with one hand was strapped to the man’s back. And there
was something metallic around his waist. What was it? Remo peered
more closely. The man had attached a pulley to his waist so he
wouldn’t fall. Remo couldn’t
get the idea of meat out of his mind. He hadn’t had a steak for
two years. Oh, for a juicy-fat crisp steak, or rich thick hamburger,
or a slice of quivering roast beef oozing its juices from a delicious
red center. Even a hot dog would be great. Or a slice of bacon, a
magnificent slice of bacon.; The
meat-eater’s right foot touched the top of the window and still
he did not see Remo. He reached for the carbine on his back and since
he seemed to be having trouble, Remo helped him. ‘It’s
stuck,’ said Remo, reaching up, but not for the carbine. He got the
pulley with his right hand, snapping it off, and since there was no
need for loud unpleasantness, he took out the meat-eater’s
throat with a thumb on the way down. Like a
water-filled balloon from a conventioneer’s window, the
meat-eater plummeted — arms and legs flailing noiselessly - to
the pavement below. Concrete and killer were joined with a muffled
splat. Remo climbed
up the rope, which he did not need but thought appropriate for his
greeting on the roof. ‘I
didn’t hear nothing,’ came the voice from the other side
of the ledge. It was the voice of the policeman who had left the
room. ‘Hi,
there,’ said Remo pleasantly, rising over the ledge. ‘I’d
like to borrow your head for a few minutes.’ Blackened
hands moved faster than sight. There was a short, wrenching sound on
the roof. Then Remo departed through the roof door and scampered down
the steps with something in his right hand behind his back, dripping. When he got
to Tomalino’s room, he knocked. A patrolman
answered the door. ‘What
do you want?’ asked the patrolman. ‘I want
to impress upon you and your charge in the room about talking from a
pure heart. I think you will agree with me, after a few moments of
explanation, that truth is the most valuable thing we have.’ ‘Get
out of here. We don’t need religious nuts.’ The door
started to close in Remo’s face, but something stopped it. The
patrolman opened the door again to get a better slam, but something
stopped it again. This time he looked to see what the obstruction
was. The religious nut in the black suit with the blackened face and
blackened feet was holding only one blackened finger in the way, so
the patrolman decided to break that finger by slamming the door with
the full force of his body. The door
reverberated against his shoulder and the religious nut pushed it
open, and shut it behind himself with one hand. Something dripped red
from behind the nut’s back. The patrolman
went for his gun and the hand did indeed reach the holster.
Unfortunately, its wrist connection was rather weak at the time,
suffering a cracked bone and a severed nerve. The other patrolman,
seeing the speed of the hands, flattened his palms upward. Vincent ‘The
Blast’ Tomalino, a short plug of a man with a stub of a face,
begged for mercy. ‘No,
no.’ ‘I
haven’t come here to kill you,’ said Remo. ‘I have
come here to help you speak from a pure heart. All of you sit down on
the bed.’ When they had
done so, Remo lectured them as a school teacher - discussing duty,
oaths taken for duty, and an oath that would be taken at a trial
shortly where Tomalino would be a witness. ‘Purity
of heart is most important,’ Remo said. ‘The
detective who is not here had gone up to the roof to do a bad thing.
A very bad thing. The bad thing lacked purity of heart.’ The three men
eyed the growing red puddle behind the religious nut’s back. ‘What
was this bad thing? I will tell you. He was going to take a payoff
for someone to kill you. So were these two other officers. ‘The
bastards,’ said Tomalino. ‘Judge
not lest ye be judged, Mr. Tomalino, for you have been negotiating
with your former boss to perhaps not speak with a pure heart.’ ‘No,
no. I swear. Never.’ ‘Do not
lie,’ said Remo sweetly. ‘For this is what
happens to people who tell untruths and do not act with purity of
heart.’ With that,
Remo took what he had been holding behind his back, and placed it on
Tomalino’s lap. Tomalino5s
jaw dropped and tears filled his eyes as he went into shock. One of
the patrolmen vomited. The other gasped. ‘Now, I
must ask you to tell an untruth. You will tell no one about this
visit, and you two policemen will do your duty, and you, Mr.
Tomalino, will speak with a pure heart.’ Three heads
couldn’t nod hard enough. The fourth was beyond nodding and,
knowing that the lesson was well-learned, Remo left the room and shut
the door behind him. Down the
hotel foyer, three doors down, Remo opened a door he knew would be
unlocked. He went to a bathtub that he knew would be filled with
water and a special cleansing lotion, then washed his hands and face
and feet. As he washed, pods of plastic peeled from his cheeks,
changing the contour of his face until now he was almost handsome. He
dropped the black pants and shirt into the toilet where, touching
water, they dissolved. He heard the police sirens fourteen stories
below. He flushed the clothes, emptied the bathtub and went to the
closet where a once-worn suit, slightly rumpled as if it had spent a
day in the office, hung. He threw it on the bed and opened the bureau
drawer where there was a set of underwear, his size; socks, his size;
wallet with identification and money; and even a handkerchief. He
checked to see if it were clean. Who knew to what extent upstairs
would go to assure secrecy? Remo
opened the wallet and checked the wax paper seals. If they were
broken he was to discard the identification and say - if he were
stopped for questioning - that he had lost his wallet, referring all
inquiries about him to a firm in Tacorna, Washington. Should this be
done there would be a reference from that firm that, indeed, a Remo
Van Sluyters worked for the Busby and Berkley Tool and Die. Remo opened
the seals with his thumb. He looked at the driver’s license. He
was Remo Horvath and his card said he worked for the fund-raising
firm of Jones, Raymond, Winter and Klein. He checked
the closet for his shoes. The ding-dongs upstairs had unloaded
well-used cordovans on him again. As he
dressed, he mused over the morning’s headlines. HERO COP
GIVES LIFE TO SAVE INFORMER. Or MANIAC AX
WIELDER ATTACKS HERO COP. Or A BLOODY
MISS AT TOMALINO. He walked out
into the foyer which was now a confusion of blue uniforms, many of
them with brass insignia on the shoulders. ‘What
happened, officer? What happened?’ ‘Stay
in your room. No one’s leaving the building.’ ‘I beg
your pardon.’ An officer
with a broken wrist limped out of Tomalino’s room. Why a limp,
Remo would never understand. Yet injured people, when they knew they
were being observed, often limped. ‘We’re
holding people for questioning,’ said the higher ranking
officer, who looked at the injured patrolman. The patrolman shook his
head, which meant to Remo that there was no identification of him as
the killer. But there was
a brief interrogation nevertheless. No, Remo had not seen anything or
heard anything and what right did the police have questioning him? ‘A
witness was almost killed tonight and one officer was,’ the
interrogating officer said. ‘Right next to you.’ ‘Goodness
gracious,’ said Remo and then, turning to anger, he demanded to
know what right the police had to keep witnesses in hotels where
ordinary citizens stayed hoping to be safe. What was wrong with the
jails? The officer
couldn’t wait to end the unproductive questioning. Remo left the
hotel complaining about violence^ crime in the streets and safety for
the average citizen. He could not walk underneath the Tomalino
window, however, for that was cordoned off by police barricades. A
large mound was in the barricaded area. It was covered by a sheet. One
precaution Remo did not take. He did not bother to wipe his prints
off the objects in the room he used for changing. There was no need.
Police couldn’t check out his fingerprints, least of all with
the FBI file. Nobody cross-referenced the prints of men who were
certifiably dead. CHAPTER
THREE IN answering
questions of the Washington press corps, the presidential press
secretary appeared serious, yet un-worried. Of course, the
charges were serious and they would be looked into thoroughly by the
Justice Department. No, this was not another Watergate, the press
secretary said. He said that with a crisp smile. Any other questions? ‘Yeah,’
replied one reporter, rising. ‘The incumbents in Miami Beach
are charging that your government has been attempting to frame them.’ ‘That
was not a charge nationally,’ said the press secretary. ‘It may
well become one. They say they have indications that an organization
called the Greater Florida Betterment League was just a front for
secret and illegal government investigations, including wiretaps and
bugging.’ ‘The
Justice Department will look into that.’ The reporter
would not sit down. ‘This morning, when the local sheriff’s
office broke into the League headquarters in Miami Beach, they found
records leading to the National Betterment League’s offices in
Kansas City, Missouri. That place turns out to be financed by a U.S.
government educational grant. This educational grant doesn’t
appear to educate many people, but it managed to spend over a million
dollars in Miami Beach alone last year. Now what does that mean?’ ‘It
means that will be looked into also.’ ‘Another
thing. There’s the possibility that this country goes around
murdering its citizens. An employee of the Greater Florida Betterment
League, one James Bullingsworth, was found dead with an ice pick in
his ear. According to Miami Beach officials, he had been seen
previously with a notebook saying he was going to become the
political kingpin of the city. What do you have to say about that?’ ‘Same
as to everything else. We most certainly are going to look into this.
That is, the Justice Department will uncover everything.’ ‘The
Justice Department is involved in this thing, according to the
charges of the administration in Miami Beach) ‘The
local government of a minor Florida city is not the major concern of
the White House,’ the secretary said, unable to keep the edge
out of his voice. ‘And
what is this secret organization called Folcroft?’ the reporter
asked. ‘Apparently it was behind the whole scheme.’ ‘Gentlemen,
this is leading us nowhere. The Justice Department is investigating.
You know where to reach the attorney general.’ ‘It’s
not the where of reaching, but the who of reaching,’ cracked
the reporter, and the press corps broke up in laughter. The press
secretary smiled wanly. In the Oval
Room of the White House, the President watched the press conference
live on television. When the reporter mentioned the word ‘Folcroft,’
the President’s face became ashen. ‘Do we
have anything like that, Mr. President?’ said a trusted aide. ‘What?’
said the President, ‘An
organization called Folcroft.’ ‘There
is no organization called Folcroft that I know of,’ said the
President. And, technically, he was telling the truth. Several
hundred miles away on the Long Island Sound, in a sanitarium called
Folcroft, one of the social researchers heard the name mentioned on
radio and wondered out loud if ’we have anything to do with
that mess in Miami Beach’? He was assured by his colleagues
that this was impossible and they must be talking about some other
Folcroft, not the Folcroft Sanitarium famous for its research in
changing social patterns and their psychological influence upon the
individual in an urban-agricultural environment. ‘But
wasn’t that Kansas City education grant one of ours?’ he
asked. ‘I’m
not sure,’ said a colleague. ‘Why don’t you ask Dr.
Smith?’ And when the
researcher heard the name of the director of the Folcroft Sanitarium
and thought of that thin, parsimonious gentleman, he was forced to
smile. ‘No,’
he admitted. ‘We couldn’t have anything to do with that
Miami Beach mess. Could you imagine Dr. Smith involved in anything
like that?’ And they all laughed for it was known that Dr.
Harold W» Smith did not approve of off-color jokes or
misspending of a penny, much less political espionage. Dr. Smith did
not eat lunch in the Sanitarium cafeteria that day and his prune-whip
yogurt with lemon topping sat unclaimed by any of the other staff.
Ordinarily, untouched yogurt would be discarded at the end of the
day, but the kitchen help was instructed to save his cup, for Dr.
Smith would eat it the next day. It was in the kitchen that he was
known to give his sternest lectures on waste not, want not. It
was also in the kitchen, usually after a salary raise had been
denied, that the kitchen help prepared the prune-whip yogurt with
liberal dashes of spit. They would
then steal gleeful looks as waste not, want not Smith ate his
lunch. Had they known the forces the stuffy gentleman commanded, the
saliva would have dried in their mouths. Dr. Smith was
not having lunch. The door of his office was locked with instructions
to his secretary that he would see no one. Dr. Smith was busy waiting
for a telephone to ring. At this stage, there was nothing more to do. He looked
through the one-way glass windows out at the Long Island Sound. He
had sailed there several times in the sunshine. From the Sound, his
windows looked like giant bright reflectors. A friend had asked him
why his windows shone so brightly and his answer was that at
Folcroft, we know how to keep them properly cleaned. He wondered if
the next tenants would replace theta with two-way glass. Smith sighed.
What had gone wrong? There were so many breaks in the chain, no one
should have been able to put it together, but here were these cheap
politicians in Miami Beach announcing CURE’s activities like so
many weather forecasts. How did it
happen? Miami Beach had been their breakthrough. For over two years,
CURE had been drawing in raw reports from FBI agents; CIA agents;
agricultural, postal, IRS and SEC investigators, and feeding them
into a computer, programmed to collate and interpret them, and then
sending its conclusions on to Kansas City in code. No one should have
known, but he realized what had happened. Smith had
become careless. He had failed to build into the system an automatic
destruction of the computer printouts and someone had filed them,
then someone had gone through them and pierced the code. Smith sighed
again. CURE had lost something important. It had been zeroing in on
Miami Beach because it had learned that it would become the nation’s
new gateway for drug imports. It had planned to let the incumbents
win the upcoming municipal election, and then wipe them all out in a
flood of indictments. In the ensuing power vacuum it would install
new leadership of its own choosing who could close the narcotics
pipeline. Now that opportunity was lost.: But more
important was the danger that CURE would be unmasked. That would be
the greater loss. For more than
a decade now, CURE had been secretly assisting overworked
prosecutors, making sure bribed officials were exposed, when
ordinarily their corruption would have meant for them a life income,
not a life sentence. CURE made sure that men untouchable by the law,
suddenly became touched very hard and very thoroughly. And what
could not be handled under the law was handled by CURE in other ways. Those were
the orders of a long-dead president to Smith more than a decade
before. Besieged by crime, internal corruption, the threat of
revolutionary anarchy, the president had created CURE, a government
agency which did not exist, and since it did not exist, was not bound
by constitutional safeguards. He had told Smith to head it and to
fight crime. That was its mission. To safeguard the country, the
president had specified that not even the president could give CURE
orders. With one exception. The president could order it to disband. Smith had
worked that out well. There were special funds of which the president
knew, whose drying up would dry up CURE. That was only an extra
safeguard. Smith, of course, would disband CURE himself any time he
was ordered. In fact, several times he had come close, even without
orders, when he felt the organization faced exposure. For exposure
was the one big flaw in the entire operation. And now, again, CURE
faced exposure. Dr. Smith
looked out at the Sound and then back at the computer terminal on his
desk. A red phone
buzzed on his desk. That was the call. Smith picked up the phone. ‘Yes,
sir,’ he said into the receiver. ‘Was
that thing in Miami Beach your people?’ came the voice. ‘Yes,
Mr. President.’ ‘Well,
it’s close. You going to close shop?’ ‘Are
you ordering it, sir?’ ‘You
know where the egg yolk is going to land, don’t you? Right on
my face.’ ‘For
awhile sir, yes. Do you want to give the order?’ ‘I
don’t know. This country needs you people, but not as a public
agency. What do you recommend?’ ‘We’ve
begun closing down, sort of a self-induced dormancy. This line will
disconnect by 7 p.m. The Network of grants that supports us is
already being cut loose. Fortunately, none of the other Betterment
League offices around the country were operational. Only Miami Beach.
The computers there are erasing themselves. They’ve been doing
it selectively for the last day. We’ll be ready to disappear at
a moment’s notice.’ ‘And
that special person?’ ‘I
haven’t spoken to him yet.’ ‘You
could transfer him into some government operation. Definitely
military operation,’ ‘No,
sir, I’m sorry. I cannot do that.’ ‘What
will you do with him?’ ‘I had
planned to eliminate him in a situation like this^ You don’t
want him walking the streets uncontrolled.’ ‘Had
planned?’ Smith sighed.
‘Yes sir. When it was possible.’ ‘You
mean he can’t be killed?’ ‘No
sir. Of course, he can be killed, but God help anyone or
anything that misses.’ There was a
silence. A long silence. ‘You’ve
got a week,’ the president said. ‘Settle this thing or
disband. I’m leaving tomorrow for Vienna, and I’ll be
gone a week. The heat won’t really build up until I get back.
So you can use that week. Settle it or disband. How can I reach you
after this line is dead?’ ‘You
can’t.’ ‘What
should I do with the phone?’ ‘Nothing.
Put it back in your bureau drawers After 7 p.m. tonight, it will be
your direct line to the White House gardener.’ ‘Then
how will I know?’ the president asked. ‘We
have a week,’ Smith said. ‘If we clean it up, I’ll
contact you. If we do not... well, it was an honor to serve with
you.’ There was a
pause on the other end of the line. ‘Goodbye
and good luck, Smith.’ ‘Thank
you, sir.’ Dr. Harold W.
Smith, director of the Folcroft Sanitarium in Rye, New York, returned
the receiver to the cradle.. He would need the offered luck^ for in a
week the most important of all links would be destroyed - himself.
That came with the job. He would not be the first to shed his blood
for his country, nor would he be the last. The intercom
buzzed nervously. Smith opened a line. ‘I told
you I didn’t want to be disturbed,’ he said. ‘Two
FBI men out here, Dr. Smith. They want to speak to you.’ ‘In a
minute,’ said Smith. ‘Tell them I’ll be with them
in a minute.’ Well, the
investigation had begun. CURE‘S compromise was well underway.
He picked up another phone and dialed through an open line to a ski
resort in Vermont, closed for the off-season. When the
phone was answered at the other end, Smith said somberly: ‘Hello,
Aunt Mildred.’ ‘No
Mildred here.’ Tm sorry. I’m
very sorry. I must have the very wrong number.’ That’s
okay.’ ‘Yes. A
very wrong number,’ said Smith, and wanted to say more, but he
no longer had any guarantee that this line was not already being
tapped. For all
practical purposes, he had said it all. The last hope of CURE, that
special person, knew now there was a ’condition red’. What Smith
had wanted to say was, ‘Remo, you’re our only chance. If
you’ve ever come through before, you’ve got to come
through now.’ Maybe the tone of his voice carried that plea.
Then again, maybe it didn’t, for Smith could have sworn he
heard laughing at the other end of the line. CHAPTER
FOUR TREE at last,
free at last. Thank God almighty, free at last.’ Remo Williams
returned the phone to the cradle and danced out of his lodge room
onto the empty carpeted foyer that a few months earlier had suffered
the constant tromping of ski boots. Now it supported the bare,
dancing feet of one very happy man. ‘Free
at last,’ he sang, ‘Free at last.’ He danced down
the steps, taking them not three at a time or four at a time, but all
at a time, one leap like a cat and landing spinning. But for his
thick wrists, he appeared a very average man, somewhere near six
feet, somewhere near average weight, deep brown eyes and high
cheekbones - the plastic surgeon, by accident, returning them to
almost what they looked like ten years earlier, before all this. He pirouetted
into the lodge lounging room where a frail Oriental sat in a golden
kimono, his legs crossed in lotus position before a television set. The
Oriental’s face was as silent as glass, not even the wisp of a
beard moved, not even the eyes blinked. He, too, looked like an
ordinary man - an old, very old Korean. Remo glanced
at the set to make sure a commercial was playing. When he saw the
soapsuds filling a tub and a woman being congratulated by her peers
for a cleaner wash, he danced before the television screen. ‘Free
at last,’ he sang, ‘Free at last.’ ‘Only
a fool is free,’ said the Oriental, ’and he, only from
wisdom.’ ‘Free,
Little Father. Free.’ ‘When a
fool is happy, wise men shudder.’ ‘Free.
F. R. E. E. Eeeeeeeee! Free.’ Noticing that
the commercial was fading into the storyline of As the Planet
Revolves, Remo quickly removed himself from the viewing line of
Chiun, the latest Master of Sinanju. For when American soap operas
appeared on the screen, no one was allowed to disturb his pleasure. Barefoot,
Remo danced out into the spring mud of the Vermont countryside,
delirious with joy. It was a ’condition red’, and his
instructions were burned into his mind by his ten years of waiting,
since he had gotten his very first assignment The
bastards had just recruited him then, a Newark policeman, an orphan
with no close friends who would miss him. They framed him for murder
and sent him to an electric chair that didn’t work. When he
woke, they told him they were an organization that didn’t
exist; that now he was their enforcement arm who also didn’t
exist, because he had just died in the electric chair. And just in
case he should happen to bump into someone who knew him when, they
changed his face and kept changing it periodically. ‘Condition
red,’ Smith had said, before Remo left on his first mission,
’is the most important instruction I give you.’ Remo had
listened quietly. He had known just what he was going to do when he
left Folcroft that first time. He would make a half-hearted attempt
at the hit and then disappear. It didn’t work out that way, but
that was what he had planned. ‘Condition
red means,’ Smith had said, ’that CURE has been
compromised. It means that we are disbanding. For you, condition red
means you should remove the compromise if possible. If not, run and
don’t try to reach us.’ ‘Run
and don’t try to reach you,’ said Remo, humoring the man. ‘Or
remove the compromise.’ ‘Or
remove the compromise,’ Remo repeated dutifully. ‘Now
chances are I won’t be able to communicate with you under those
conditions, at least not safely. So the code for condition red is
calling you, asking for Aunt Mildred, and then saying I must have a
very wrong number. Do you understand?’ ‘Aunt
Mildred,’ Remo repeated. ‘Got it.’ ‘When
you hear my voice asking for Aunt Mildred, you become the last hope
of CURE,’ Smith said. ‘Right,’
Remo said. ‘Last hope.’ He wanted to get out of Folcroft
and vanish. To hell with Smith, to hell with CURE, to hell with
everybody. It never
worked that way. It turned into a new life. Years went by, Names on
lists, people he didn’t know, people who thought that guns were
protection and suddenly found those guns in their mouths. Years of
training - under Chiun, the Master of Sinanju - who slowly changed
Remo’s body, mind and nervous system into something more than
human: a man of years without tomorrows because when you change your
name and your place of living and even your face often enough you
stop making plans. So it was
over now and Remo danced in the sunshine. The air was good and clean;
the new buds were fragrant on the hill. A young girl and her dog were
standing by the silent chairlift being put into seasonal retirement.
Vermont labor being what it was, the project was two months behind
schedule. In all of
industrious New England, Vermont somehow has escaped the Protestant
work ethic. People buying homes and land in this beautiful state find
it almost impossible to get a plumber or an electrician to do a fast
job. Land waits for houses and houses wait for service and the whole
state works off a tax base that would shame a Polynesian island. But that was
not Remo’s problem either, nor was secrecy about so many things
anymore. ‘Hello,’
said the little girl. ‘My dog’s name is Puffin and mine
is Nora and I have a brother J. P. and Timmy and an Aunt Geri, what’s
yours?’ ‘My
aunt?’ ‘No,
your name,’ said Nora. ‘Remo.
Remo Williams,’ said Remo who had been Remo Pelham and Remo
Barry and Remo Bednick and Remo so many things, but now he was Remo
Williams again and that was his name and it felt good in the saying
of it. ‘Remo Williams. Do you want to see something amazing
nobody else can do in the whole wide world, except a very few people
from a far-off land?’ ‘Possibly,’
said Nora. ‘I can
run up that chairlift.’ ‘That’s
silly,’ Nora said. ‘So can I. Anybody can run ’up
the hill.’ ‘No. On
the lines, right up over the chairs, along that steel band that goes
from support to support,’ ‘You
cannot. Nobody can do that.’ ‘I can
do it,’ said Remo. ‘You watch.’ And he ran to
a silent empty chair and with a leap was one hand on it, and without
breaking motion, pulled himself above it and onto the wire. Nora laughed
and clapped, and then Remo ran upward, keeping the balance of his
body centred, his bare feet hardly touching the metal, hot in the
late spring sun. It was not
training, not as Chiun would call it training, because he was not
using his mind, focusing his forces. Rather he was showing off for a
little girl and just running, running upward, over a little
depression in the ground that put him 45 feet above it, over the
chair hooks to the wire, up to the top of the mountain, and when he
got there, he stood surveying the now-green ski slopes, the other
mountains rising green into the blue sky. He could if he wished buy a
home right there. Or even the whole mountain. Or even an island
somewhere and throw coconuts for the rest of his life. He was,
as few men were, free. Whatever had caused the condition red was
Smith’s problem and not his. So Smitty would probably take his
own life. So what? Smitty knew what he had volunteered for. He bought
the package. And that was the difference. Remo had never volunteered.
Maybe he would return to Newark, which had been placed off limits to
him when he was dragged aboard CURE’s ship of fools. Maybe he
would see what Newark was like. So many years. He thought
about Smith again and then forced the thought from his mind. Smitty
had volunteered and Remo hadn’t and that was that. He wasn’t
going to give it one more thought. Not one. He thought
about how he wasn’t going to think about it, all the way down
the wire, past the clapping little girl whom he ignored and into the
lodge. He waited, dandling his leg nervously, while As the Planet
Revolves moved into Dr. Lawrence Walters, Psychiatrist at
Large, and various other daytime dramas where nothing ever
happened but all the actors discussed the action, Remo had long ago
attributed Chiun’s liking of the soap operas to the first
warning signal of senility. To which Chiun had replied that in all
the crassness of America, it had produced one great art form and this
was it, and that if Remo were Korean, he could appreciate beauty, but
since Remo could not appreciate anything, not even the most valuable
training in the history of mankind, how could he appreciate something
as fine as a soap opera? So Remo
steamed as Dr. Carrington Blake explained to Willa Douglaston that
her son, Bertram, faced a possible problem with Quaalude. Bertram, as
Remo remembered from years past, had faced a problem first with
marijuana, then with heroin, and then with cocaine, and now since
Quaaludes were in, it was Quaaludes. During one
commercial, Chiun commented: ‘See an
ungrateful son.’ Remo did not
respond. What he had to say required more time than a mere
commercial. When the last
show was to be continued and when Chiun turned from the set, Remo
exploded. ‘I
couldn’t care less what happened to Smith or the organization,
Little Father. I couldn’t care less. I don’t care,’
Remo yelled. ‘You know what?’ Chiun sat
silently. ‘You
know what, Little Father?’ Remo yelled angrily. ‘You know
what?’ Chiun nodded. ‘I’m
happy,’ screamed Remo. ‘Happy, happy, happy.’ ‘I am
glad you are happy, Remo. Because if you are happy now, I would be
most feared to see you when you were unhappy/ ‘I’m
free now.’ ‘Something
has happened?’ asked Chiun. ‘Right.
The organization is coming apart,’ Remo said. Chiun, he knew,
had a vague understanding of CURE, vague to a large degree because
CURE fulfilled the basic requirement of Chiun’s services by
paying regularly, and after that it meant little to Chiun what CURE
really did. He called it ’the emperor’ because it was the
tradition of the House of Sinanju to serve emperors. ‘Then
we will find another emperor to serve,’ Chiun said. ‘See
now my wisdom. Because we have faithfully served one, we always have
employment in the future.’ ‘I
don’t want to work for anyone else,’ said Remo. Korean
mutterings emanated from Chiun’s mouth and Remo knew they were
not complete sentences, just minor curses, a few of which he
recognized such as ‘White man’, ’pigeon droppings’,
and something that could only be translated into English as ’rotted
bellies of untamed pigs’. There was, of course, the traditional
casting of jewels into mud and the inability of even a Master of
Sinanju to transform rice husks into a banquet. ‘And of
your training, what of that?’ Chiun said. ‘Of the years
given you that have never been given to white men before? What of
that? You have, I must confess, in all your training, made an
adequate beginning. Yes, I will say it. Adequate. You have achieved
adequacy s.. for a beginner.’ ‘Thank
you, Little Father,’ Remo said. ‘But you’ve never
really understood why I do these things.’ ‘Understood,
yes. Appreciated, no. You say patriotism, love of country. But who
has given you the secrets of Sinanju - America or the Master of
Sinanju?’ ‘America
paid for it.’ ‘They
paid money and for that I could have given you the master of Kung Fu,
Aiki and Karate. They would not have known the difference. They would
have thought how wonderful he can break bricks with his hands and
arms and kick things with his feet. These are mere games compared to
Sinanju. You know that well.’ ‘Yes, I
do, Little Father.’ ‘We are
assassins; these people are little dancers.’ ‘I know
that.’ ‘Dr.
Smith would have been delighted with a dancer, but I gave you
Sinanju, to a white man I gave it honestly, and made even the walls
of stone but powder in the wind before your steps. These things - I,
Master of Sinanju, gave you.’ ‘Yes,
Little Father.’ ‘And
now you throw them aside like so much old clothing.’ ‘I will
never forget what you have ...’ ‘Forget.
How dare you say you will not forget? Have you learned nothing? Each
day you fail to remember, you forget. Knowing is not a question of
not forgetting, it is a question of remembering with your body, with
your mind and with your very nerves. That which is not remembered
every moment is lost.’ ‘Little
Father, I don’t want to kill any more.’ Stricken
with the statement, Chiun was silent for a moment, and Remo knew he
could get the full treatment of the benevolent master and the
ungrateful student. He would get the history of Sinanju, how this
poor village, unable to support itself, rented its assassins out to
the emperors of China, and how if a Master of Sinanju failed, the
babies of the village would be drowned, because drowning was better
than starving. It was called sending the babies home and Remo had
heard it countless times. It came down to whether you killed your
assignments or the innocent babies of Sinanju,; Remo heard it
all and when Chiun was finished, he said: ‘I
don’t like to kill people, Little Father. Not really, not
always and not often.’ ‘Drivel,’
said Chiun. ‘Who likes to kill? Does a surgeon like or dislike
a liver? Does one of your mechanics like or dislike a motor? Of
course not. And I would just as soon sit in peace with the world and
give love to one and all who passed.’ ‘That’s
hard to believe, Chiun. I mean, what with what happens to anyone
interrupting your shows and everything, know what I mean.’ ‘I am
not discussing my meager pleasures,’ said Chiun angrily. Remo
knew that when Chiun was imagining himself as a sweet, delicate
blossom, to remind him that he was the world’s most deadly
assassin was a breach of etiquette. ‘I too
would like never to raise my hand again,’ Chiun said. ‘But
this cannot be so, and so I do what every man should do. His job as
well as he can. That is what I do.’ ‘We’ll
never agree, Little Father. Not on that,’ And the
matter appeared decided, until a late night newscast where Remo saw
why the condition red. He watched the reporter question the
Presidential aide, and when the word Folcroft came up, Remo became
hysterical. ‘I wish
I could have seen Smitty’s face when he heard that,’ said
Remo laughing. But he did not laugh long for he did see the face of
Dr. Harold W. Smith. Television cameras had been denied admittance to
the grounds of Folcroft Sanitarium but a telephoto lens had captured
a look at Dr. Smith as he walked, hands behind his back, toward the
waters of Long Island Sound. His face was his usual mask of calm, but
Remo knew that underneath it was a great sadness. And seeing the head
of CURE weak and helpless like that, Remo felt a rage he never knew
he possessed. It was all right for him to hate, possibly even to
verbally abuse Smith, but he didn’t like to see anyone else do
it, particularly a country which would never know the debt it owed to
Smith. He watched the TV set until Smith vanished behind the back of
the sanitarium’s main building. Then he
called out: ‘Chiun, I want to talk to you about something. I’ve
got a little surprise for you.’ ‘I am
already packed,’ said the Master of Sinanju. ‘What took
you so long to change your mind?’ CHAPTER
FIVE GETTING
off the plane at the Dade County Airport was like walking into a hot
towel. ‘Eccchhh,’
said Remo but Chiun said not a word. He had made it clear that so
long as Remo got him to a television set by 11.30 a.m., he did not
care where they stayed or how they travelled. He did not like to talk
before his shows. Remo carried
all his clothes in a fat attaché case. For Chiun, they had to
wait at a luggage wheel inside the airport. A chute vomited the
luggage contents of each plane onto a revolving belt, around which
passengers stood, waiting, looking for their suitcases and boxes and
packages. In the
general jostle at the luggage wheel, Chiun made his way to the lip of
the revolving belt, and although he looked like a frail feather in a
herd of cattle, nevertheless he managed neither to be pushed aside
nor ignored. ‘Who’s
helping that poor old man?’ asked a hefty woman with a Bronx
accent. ‘It’s
all right,’ said Chiun. ‘I will manage.’ ‘He
doesn’t need your help, lady,’ said Remo. ‘Don’t
fall for it.’ "That is
my strong young son wh6 makes aged father bear heavy burdens,’
Chiun confided to the woman. ‘He
doesn’t look like you,’ said the woman. ‘Adopted,’
whispered Chiun. A large red
lacquered trunk with shiny brass trimmings came forth from the chute. ‘That
is ours,’ said Chiun to the woman. ‘Hey,
you. You gonna help your father with the luggage?’ the woman
cried out angrily. Remo shook
his head. ‘No. But you will.’ He turned his back on the
luggage wheel and strolled to a newsstand and it was here that he
realized how much he had come to rely upon CURE in his assignments. There would
be no reports waiting for him on who was where or doing what or who
was vulnerable because of something in his past. There would be no
new name with new credit cards and a secure house. There would be no
analysis of the problem by Smith, and as he purchased the two local
newspapers, he realized how alone he really was. The eyes and
ears of CURE had been put to sleep. Remo read the headlines. It was
now called ‘The League Affair’. What Remo
gathered from the newspapers was that somehow, notes on what the
Greater Florida Betterment League had really been doing had gotten
into the hands of a minor local politician, a functionary in the
election bureau. He was making all the charges. According
to the local politician, the secret notes proved that a secret
organization called Folcroft was conducting political espionage in
Miami Beach. The espionage was financed by the federal government and
its goal was to indict the mayor and current city administration. ‘Worse
than Watergate,’ said the local politician who said he had
access to the secret notes and would release them at the proper time.
The politician’s name was Willard Farger. Remo put down the
papers. All he knew was that the papers had printed that a lot of
people said a lot-of things. There was no
scale of verification, no scale of probability, none of the intensive
checks and counter-checks that had gone into the knowing of
something. What did he really know? That a
Willard Farger, who was a political cohort of the present
administration, had said a lot of things and probably had access to
the notes Compromising CURE. Remo shrugged. It was a good enough
beginning. He picked up
the paper again. A League employee had been murdered. The sheriff did
not deny that it could be Folcroft agents. There was an editorial.
‘Government by Assassins?’ Remo would
have to show that one to Chiun, who had once reasoned that the ideal
form of government was that where the ablest assassin ruled. Remo
smiled. The Master of Sinanju, in his governmental philosophy, was
not unlike businessmen who believed government should be run by
businessmen, or social workers who believed governments should be run
as a social program, or generals who thought that military men made
the best presidents, or even like the philosopher Plato who, while
outlining the ideal form of government, said its leader should be,
surprise, surprise, ’a philosopher king’. Willard
Farger, thought Remo, if you have ever talked in your political
career, you will talk to me. You’re a good beginning, Remo
folded the papers under his arm. If CURE were still working, he could
have had press identification if he wanted. ‘Hello,
Mr. Farger, I want to interview you.’ Wham. Bam. Press
identification. Remo mulled the thought, and discarded immediately
his first idea of a pre-dawn approach to Farger’s bedroom.
Farger himself would be deluged with reporters. He looked at the
paper again. On Page 7, there was a picture. The Farger family at
home. And there was pudgy-faced Mrs. Farger, sucking in her cheeks
and angling in at the camera to look slimmer, leaning forward, in
front’ of her husband. In front of him, Remo thought. The way
to Willard Farger^ he realized, would be through Mrs. Farger. Remo threw
the papers into a waste basket and looked over to the luggage wheel.
Sure enough, five vacationers were sweating and groaning under the
large trunks which contained Chiun’s kimonos; his television
taping machine; his sleeping mat; his autographed picture of Rad Rex,
star of As the Planet Revolves; his special rice. In all there
were 157 kimonos and six trunks. Remo had told Chiun to pack light. The hefty
woman, perspiring under one of the trunks, said to a young boy:
‘That’s him. That’s the old man’s adopted
son. Won’t even help the old man after all the old man has done
for him.’ She put down
the trunk. ‘Animal,’
she yelled at Remo. ‘Ungrateful animal. Look at him, everyone.
The animal who would make his aged father do heavy lifting. C’mon
over and see the animal.’ Remo smiled
pleasantly for one and all. ‘The
animal. Look at him,’ said the woman, pointing to Remo, Chiun
stood off to the side, innocent of the commotion, a mere aged Korean
hoping to enjoy the golden years of his life. Chiun could have, if he
had wished, taken the trunks and the volunteer porters to boot and
hurled them all back up the luggage ramp. But Chiun considered
carrying things to be ‘Chinamen’s work’, meaning
work unworthy of a Korean. It was for Chinese or whites or blacks. He had once
complained that Japanese did not like to carry things because of
arrogance. When Remo had pointed out that Chiun was not known to like
lifting, Chiun had responded that there was a difference between the
Korean and Japanese attitudes. ‘Japanese
are arrogant. They think the work is beneath them. Koreans are
not arrogant. We know the work is beneath us.’ Now Chiun had
a gaggle of tourists doing Chinamen’s work. ‘C’mon
over here, sonny, and help your father,’ yelled the woman. Remo shook
his head. ‘C’mon,
lazy bastard,’ joined in other volunteer porters. Remo shook
his head again. ‘You
animal.’ At this,
Chiun shuffled to center stage just a bit more slowly than usual.; He
raised his thin hands, the long fingernails pointing upward as if in
prayer. ‘You
are good people,’ he said. ‘So good and kind and
thoughtful. So you not realize that everyone is not so good as you,
that their decency is not so great, that it can never be as great.
You are angry because my adopted son does not share your goodness.
But you do not realize that some people from birth are denied this
goodness. I have tried so hard to teach him, yet for a flower to grow
from the seed, that seed must be planted in good soil. It is my great
sadness that my son is rocky soil. Do not yell at him. He is
incapable of your goodness.’ ‘Thanks,
Little Father,’ said Remo. ‘Animal.
I knew it. He’s an animal,’ snarled the woman. Turning to
her husband, a giant of a man that Remo estimated at six-feet-five,
325 pounds, the woman said, ‘Marvin, teach the animal some
decency.’ ‘Ethel,’
said the gigantic Marvin, in a surprisingly timid voice, ‘If he
doesn’t want to help his old man, that’s his business.’ ‘Marvin.
How could you let that animal get away with what he’s doing to
this sweet, old, precious lovely mensch?’ Ethel,
overcome by warmth, dashed to Chiun and hugged him to her overly
ample bosom. ‘A mensch. A pure mensch. Marvin,
teach the animal some manners.’ ‘He’s
half my size, Ethel. Come on.’ ‘I’m
not leaving this poor soul with that animal, Marvin. What an
ungrateful son.’ Marvin sighed
and Remo watched him approach. He would not hit him hard. Maybe just
take the wind out of him. Remo looked
up at Marvin. Marvin looked down at Remo. ‘Hit
the animal,’ yelled Ethel, clasping the world’s deadliest
assassin to her chest, while her husband faced the second deadliest. ‘Look,
buddy,’ said Marvin softly, reaching into his pocket. ‘I
don’t want to get into your family business, know what I mean?’ ‘Are
you going to hit him or are you going to talk?’ yelled Ethel. ‘You
are such a sensitive woman,’ said Chiun, who knew that
gross-sized people liked to be called sensitive because they were
called that so rarely. ‘Break
his head or I will,’ yelled Ethel, hugging tighter her precious
bundle. Marvin pulled
out of his pocket some bills, which was probably the luckiest thing
his hand had ever done for itself. ‘Here’s
twenty bucks. Help your old man with his suitcases.’ ‘I
won’t,’ said Remo. ‘You don’t know him and
you’re not the first he's homswoggled
into doing his heavy lifting. So put away your money,’
‘Look, buddy, it’s my family problem now.
Help him with the suitcases, will ya?’
‘If you don't slam that animal right now, Marvin,
you'll never know my bed again.’
Remo watched Marvin’s face light up in joyous
surprise.
‘Is that a promise, Ethel?’
Remo saw this as a good opportunity to disengage, but
Chiun, ever the gallant, said to the woman: ‘He is unworthy
of you, precious flower.’
The precious flower had always known this and putting
Chiun down, she hurled herself at her brute of a husband, slamming
his head with her pocketbook.
Remo ducked out of the way and left them squabbling with
a crowd forming to watch the family fight.
‘Proud of yourself, Chiun?’ asked Remo.
‘I brought happiness into her life,'’
‘Next time, get a porter.’
‘There were none to be found right away.’
‘Did you look?’
‘People who do Chinamen's work should look for me,
not me for them.’
‘I’ll be out tonight. I've got some work.’
said Remo.
‘Where are our quarters?’
Remo looked astonished. ‘I forgot that,’ he
said.
‘Ah,’ said Chiun. ‘Sec how valuable an
emperor can be?’ Chiun was
right of course. But what he did not realize was that their ‘emperor’
- CURE - was in danger of being destroyed and only Remo could
save it. If — and it was a big 'if - if he could straighten out
the mess of the ‘The League Affair’. CHAPTER
SIX WILLARD
FARCER, fourth deputy assistant commissioner of elections, woke up
with the first rays of sun glinting from his swimming pool into his
bedroom, the telephone receiver whining away. It had been taken from
its cradle so he could get a night’s sleep. Willard Farger
couldn’t be bothered by just any reporter anymore. It had taken
him exactly one hour and fifteen minutes, or approximately his third
interview with the press several days before, to forget how he would
formerly hound reporters to include his name in stories about
picnics, Boy Scout festivals and party fund-raising suppers. Then he would
personally deliver press releases from party headquarters, try to
tell jokes to anyone in the city rooms of the Miami Beach Dispatch
and the Miami Beach Journal, and excitedly await the next
edition home or office. Sometimes on
a slow news day, he would get: ‘Also in attendance was Willard
Farger, fourth deputy assistant-commissioner of elections.’ On
those days, he would ask his colleagues at the county administration
building if they had read the papers that day. He would wait around
the press room to see if reporters wanted anyone to go out for
sandwiches, and he never passed up a chance to buy a reporter a drink
at a bar. These chances
did not come often, since reporters thought of him as a publicity
hound and a nuisance. To be bought a drink by Willard Farger, fourth
deputy assistant-commissioner of elections, meant you had to speak
with him while downing it, and possibly longer. With one
television press conference, all this changed. Willard Farger now
stood against the government with ’proof of the most insidious
danger to our freedoms in the history of the nation.’ He was
news, growing national news, and only at the insistence of his
political bosses did he begin to talk to reporters from the local
papers. After all, hadn’t he made the front page of the New
York Times? ‘You
can’t ignore the Dispatch and the Journal,’ the
sheriff had told him. Secretly
Farger suspected the sheriff was jealous. Did the Washington Post
ever do a profile on a mere Dade County sheriff? ‘I
can’t localize my image either,’ Farger had said. ‘In
one two-minute network newscast, I reach twenty-one percent of all
the voters in the nation. Twenty-one percent. What do I get from the
Dispatch and the Journal, a fiftieth of one percent?’ ‘But
you live in Miami Beach, Bill.’ ‘And
Abraham Lincoln lived in Springfield. So what?’ ‘Bill,
you’re not president of the United States. You’re just
another guy who’s trying to re-elect Tim Cartwright as mayor
next week. So I think you’d better talk to the Dispatch and
the Journal’ ‘I
think it’s my business, not yours, Sheriff,’ said
Willard Farger, who a week earlier had offered to sweep out the
sheriff’s garage and had been refused, because it might be
construed as using public employees for personal purposes. Sheriff Clyde
McAdow had thrown up his hands, given a last warning that when the
national reporters left, the Dispatch and Journal would
still be in Miami Beach, and’ all of this reached Willard
Farger not at all. Men who were
on national television did not go taking advice from local sheriffs.
Willard Farger kept the telephone off the hook so that local
reporters couldn’t reach him. He would have to get an unlisted
telephone, he thought as he rolled out of bed. Maybe send the number
to the presidents of CBS, NBC and ABC. Perhaps Times and
Newsweek also. He couldn’t leave out the New York
Times or the Washington Post either, even though their
circulations nationally were not as heavy as the magazines. Important
in the intellectual communities, however. Farger yawned
and shuffled into the bathroom. He blinked his eyes and rubbed his
face, a somewhat fleshy face with a bulbous nose and small blue eyes,
topped by a good head of gray hair, which he thought gave the
impression of strength and wisdom and dignity. He looked
into the mirror that morning and liked what he saw. ‘Good
morning, governor,’ he said, and by the time he was finished
shaving, he was - in his mind - conducting cabinet meetings in the
White House. ‘Have a
good day, Mr. President,’ he said, applying the stinging
after-shave lotion. He bathed,
then hot-combed his hair, mentally toying with the idea of a united
world, free of war and strife, where every man could sit under his
fig tree and be at peace. He put on his
gray worsted that morning, a television blue shirt, and when he sat
down to breakfast, his wife Laura, still in curlers, put an envelope
on his plate instead of soft-boiled two-minute eggs. ‘That’s
this?’ asked Farger. ‘Open
it,’ said his wife. ‘Where
are my eggs?’ ‘Open
it.’ So Willard
Farger tore the end off the fat envelope and saw tightly compressed
bills in it. He pulled them out slowly and was surprised to see that
they were twenty-dollar bilk Thirty of them, ‘This
is six hundred dollars, Laura,’ he said. ‘Six hundred
dollars. Not a bribe, is it? I can’t have my career ruined by a
measly six hundred dollar bribe.’ Laura Farger,
who had seen her husband gratefully accept five dollars to fix a
ticket, cocked a disdainful eyebrow. ‘It’s
not a bribe. It’s mine. It was given to me for a magazine
interview.’ ‘Without
checking with me? You don’t know how to ’handle
reporters, Laura, You know nothing of the intricacies and the traps
of the media. For a crummy six hundred dollars, you may have damaged
my career. What did you tell the magazine?’ ‘I told
them you were a wonderful husband, a good family man, and that you
loved dogs and children.* Farger
pondered that statement for a moment. ‘Good.
That was all right. Did you tell him anything else?’ ‘No.
Just that I’d speak to you. He wants to interview you.’ ‘What
magazine?’ ‘I
forget.’ ‘You
give an interview to a magazine and forget? Laura, how could you do
this to me? Just as my career is taking off. An amateur handling the
media is the most dangerous thing for a political career. Politics,
Laura, is for pros, not housewives.’ ‘He
said he’d pay $6,000 for an interview with you,’ ‘Cash?’
said Willard Farger. ‘Cash,’
said Laura Farger who knew by the way her husband asked the question
that, she could count on at least a trip to Europe that year. Six
thousand dollars went a long way. ‘The guy’s name who
interviewed me was Remo something. I forget his last name.’ ‘Cash,’
mused Willard Farger. On a yacht
cruising past the famous skyline of Miami Beach, a man who smelled
heavily of lilac cologne heard complaints from Sheriff Clyde McAdow;
Tim Cartwright, mayor of Miami Beach; and city manager Clyde
Moskowitz. ‘Farger
is becoming impossible,’ said McAdow. ‘Impossible.’ ‘Impossible,’
said Mayor Cartwright. ‘Incredibly
impossible,’ said City Manager Moskowitz. ‘Idiots
usually are,’ said the man who smelled heavily of lilac
cologne. ‘And you forget that if he were not an idiot, he would
not have done what we wished.’ ‘Which
was?’ Cartwright asked. ‘To
make himself a target for the people who are trying to send you to
jail, Mayor.’ ‘Yeah.
But what can they do to him now? Under the glare of all this
publicity?’ ‘Gentlemen,
it is going to be a long hot day today and I intend to get some very
good sleep. I would suggest you get some sleep also. When you asked
my help, you said you would leave everything in my hands. Consider it
left. And don’t panic if a few more idiots get killed.’ The three
politicians exchanged glances. Jail after indictment was one thing;
murder and killing was something else totally. ‘Gentlemen,
I see by your faces that you feel somewhat betrayed,’ said the
man with the lilac cologne. He was a squarish sort of man with heavy
shoulders and a tubular waist, whose ample bulk made him appear
shorter than his six-feet two. His face had the smooth, unworried
look of old wealth; the sort of tan one does not sit on the beach
for, but acquires naturally when one lives in Palm Beach, eats
breakfast on the patio and yachts extensively. Now he sat
with a towel draped around his waist, lounging in the stateroom of
his vessel with three nervous men in business suits. ‘Let
me ask you a question,’ the man said. ‘You blanch at
killings. It offends you. Does it offend you enough, Mayor
Cartwright, that you will return all the millions in graft, the
diamonds in safe-deposit boxes, the stocks and bonds in Switzerland?’
He ignored Cartwright’s open-mouthed state, and went on.:
‘And you, Sheriff, does it offend you enough to give up your
wife’s 50 percent interest in the construction company which
gets most of the city’s building contracts? And to give back
the money which helped buy the auto dealership that you list under
your brother-in-law’s name? And you, Mr. Moskowitz, how much
does it offend you? Enough to give back all the money you have taken
by adding 10 percent to every city purchase in the last five years?’ He looked at
the three men, hard, one after another. ‘You
are surprised that I know these things,’ he said. ‘But
you forget. I have the notebook that Bullingsworth compiled and it is
only the fact that I have it, and not he, that keeps you three from
jail. The price I paid was his death; would you have me give a
refund? ‘Now
the simple fact is that a secret organization of the federal
government has been planning for two years to put you all in jail. By
following my advice, you have foiled this plan. Publicly exposing the
government has made it impossible for the government to act against
you. Now this secret organization is making its last attempt against
you. And instead of letting you three be the targets, I am using
poor, simple Willard Farger as the target. And suddenly you are
struck with remorse. It is too late for attacks of conscience. If you
wish to stay in office and out of prison, you must do it my way.
Because no other way will work.’ Mayor
Cartwright and Sheriff McAdow were silent, unmoving, but City Manager
Moskowitz shook his head vigorously from side to side. ‘If
they wanted to get us, why not months ago, before Tim’s
reelection campaign?’ he asked. ‘For a
simple reason,’ the heavyset man said. ‘If you were all
indicted months ago, there would have been a mad scramble of
contenders for your positions. The government’s plan was more
clever, more insidious. They were going to let you get re-elected,
Mayor Cartwright, and then indict you and your whole administration.
In the confusion they were going to pick their own man to run the
city.’ ‘But
now they can’t touch me,’ Cartwright said. ‘My only
opposition in the election next week is that silly ninny, Polaney.
And if they try to indict me now, it’ll be a scandal. This is
going to be bigger than Watergate. We’ve got them over a
barrel.’ ‘Watergate
was done by amateurs,’ the heavyset man said. ‘Ex-CIA
and FBI men,’ said Cartwright defensively. The man shook
his head. ‘When they worked for their former organizations,
they worked in a context that made them competent and professional.
On their own, they were stumbling, bumbling men taking risks that
shouldn’t have been taken. No, gentlemen, you underestimate
your opponents. You have uncovered a secret organization that has
obviously operated effectively for years. Do you expect them not to
cut and run? Believe me. What they are doing now is retreating to
defensive positions, while they devise a new plan of attack against
you. Farger is to be the lightning rod for that attack. That is why
the idiot is necessary.’ The
heavyset man rose from his pillows and walked to a window of his
stateroom. He looked at the Miami Beach skyline, money rising out of
sand. Cities always had been prizes of war, from the fall of Troy to
the Battle of Moscow. To take a city, that was an accomplishment. Behind him,
Moskowitz said: ‘You didn’t tell us it would be this
way.’ ‘I
didn’t tell you the sun would rise either, but what do you
expect? To have the cover of darkness forever?’ He wheeled and
faced them angrily. ‘Gentlemen, you are at war.’ He
measured the tension in their faces. Good, he thought. They are
losing the illusion of safety. Always good for green troops. ‘But,
don’t worry, gentlemen. You are at war, but I am your general.
And the first thing I have done is to set Farger out as bait to see
what our opponents plan.’ ‘But
killing?’ said Moskowitz. ‘I don’t like killing.’ ‘I
didn’t say he would be killed. I said he would be their first
target. Now I think the meeting is concluded. I’ll have my
launch take you back to my city.’ ‘Your
city?’ asked Mayor Cartwright, but the heavyset man with the
heavy smell of lilac cologne did not hear him. He was intently
watching the back of Moskowitz as he stepped, out onto the highly
varnished deck. Moskowitz was still shaking his head. CHAPTER
SEVEN WILLARD
FARCER wanted to make one thing perfectly clear before the interview
began. ‘I
am not giving your magazine an interview just for the six thousand
dollars. I’m giving you this interview so that a broader
spectrum of the American public will see the treachery they are
pitted against. I want to return America to the principles that made
her great. Did you bring the money?’ ‘After
the interview,’ said Remo. He had noticed the two
plainclothesmen outside Farger’s home, so he might have to
leave with Farger if he couldn’t find out what he wanted in the
interview. ‘I’ll
be perfectly honest with you,’ said Farger. ‘This money
is going to go right into Mayor Cartwright’s campaign coffers.
I’m not going to use a cent of it myself. It’s going to
pay to elect a mayor with the guts to stand up against an insidious
central government. So I’m really taking the money for the
people.’ ‘In
other words, you want the money up front,’ Remo said. ‘I want
the people to be assured of their birthright as Americans.’ ‘I’ll
give you a thousand up front and the rest after the interview.’ ‘Remo,
if I may call you Remo,’ said Farger, ’this is a time of
crisis in America, polarization of the races, rich against poor,
labor against capital. Good government can bring us back to our
senses, but it costs money to elect good government.’ ‘Two
thousand up front,’ Remo said. ‘No
checks/ said Farger, and the interview began. Remo noted
that Farger must have done extensive research into this secret
government agency and this Folcroft. How did Farger do it? Farger
answered that every American should be aware of his government in
order to help improve it. That was the trouble with government today. How did
Farger find out the Betterment League was a front and how did he get
his hands on the Bullingsworth notes? Farger
answered that he was a product of an American home with American
values; decent hard-working parents had taught him persistence. Did Farger
still have the Bullingsworth notes and, if so, where did he have
them? ‘Any
man who wants to serve his community must take stock of his resources
and apply them in the most judicious and farsighted manner,’
said Farger. Who else but
Farger knew about the notes? ‘Let
me make one thing perfectly clear. Morality is the key to everything.
The little people of America, of this city where I was born and
raised, all of them are with me in standing up and crying out in a
single loud voice: Foul.’ Remo
shrugged. Perhaps reporters knew how to cut through this windage.
Maybe they knew special key questions that would unspring direct
answers. ‘You’re
not answering my questions,’ Remo said. ‘Which
question haven’t I answered?’ asked Farger innocently. ‘All of
them,’ said Remo. ‘I
never fail to answer a question,’ Farger said. ‘America
was built by forthright men who answered forthright questions with
candor. I am known for my candor.’ All right,
thought Remo. If that’s the way he wants to play it, that’s
the way we’ll play it. Remo studied
Farger’s face, peering intently into his eyes, then at his
hair. He raised his hands to frame it. ‘We
need photos for the story. A good cover shot. Front of the magazine.’ Farger shaded
the angle of his head so Remo could see the better side. ‘A
background,’ Remo said. ‘A background. We need a good
background.’ ‘With
my family?’ Remo shook
his head. ‘Someplace important: To capture your stature if you
know what I mean. Some place which best epitomizes your spirit.’ Tm not going
to fly to the White House for just one picture,’ said Farger
angrily. ‘I was
thinking of some place close to home.’ ‘It’s
a little late for the governor’s mansion, isn’t it?’ ‘Outdoors,’
said Remo. ‘A man of the land.’ ‘Do you
think so?’ asked Farger intently. ‘I’ve thought of
myself more as the answer to our troubled cities.’ ‘Land
and city,’ said Remo. Did Remo have
an idea for a good background? He most
certainly did. The
plainclothesmen followed the pair in a separate car. They drove down
Collins Avenue, Miami Beach’s main drag, turned into several
side streets, then back to Collins Avenue. The detectives were still
following. ‘Here?’
asked Farger. ‘Too
rich a background,’ Remo said. ‘If you should ever run
for office yourself, your opponents could use the picture and smear
you as the rich man’s candidate.’ ‘Good
thinking,’ Farger said. ‘Any
roads lead into the countryside?’ ‘Sure,
but we’re not on it.’ ‘The
countryside,’ said Remo, and Farger wheeled the car around
while the detectives wheeled their car around. ‘Stop
the car,’ said Remo. ‘This
isn’t the countryside.’ ‘I
know, just stop the car.’ Farger slowed his car and parked at a
curb. The unmarked police car stopped also. Remo got out
of the car and strode purposefully to the unmarked car. ‘Who
are you?! he demanded. ‘Deputy
sheriffs. Bade County.’ ‘Let me
see your identification.’ ‘Let us
see yours.’ In the
confusion and fumbling of wallets, Remo’s snake quick hands
darted through the steering wheel to the car keys, plucking them out
too fast to jingle. ‘Hey,
what’re you doing with the keys?’ ‘Nothing,’
said Remo as his thumb pressured the grooves and teeth of the
ignition key out of line. ‘Just want to make sure you don’t
run anywhere until I see that identification.’ The detective
at the wheel snatched back the keys. ‘You just watch your step
there, fella. We’re officers.’ ‘All
right. I’ll let it go this time,’ said Remo in his best,
decade-old patrolman’s voice. The two
deputy sheriffs looked at each other in confusion. They were even
more confused when Farger and the reporter who talked like a cop
drove away, and their ignition key wouldn’t work. ‘The
son of a bitch switched keys.’ But upon examination, that
proved not to be the case. They tried the key again and it did not
work again. Finally one of the deputies held the key to his right eye
and sighted along the grooves. He noticed they were bent out of
shape. As he tried to hammer the key back into shape with the butt of
his revolver, Farger’s car vanished over a hill. Miles ahead,
Remo noticed a lovely dirt road cutting into swamplands. Farger
pulled in. ‘You
see what happened to the deputies?’ Remo
shrugged. He pointed to a tree. ‘Pretty
wet over there,’ Farger said. ‘Do you think that’s
good?’ ‘Try
it,’ said Remo, So Willard
Farger in his best Douglas MacArthur wading-ashore stride went to the
tree and Remo drove the car right up to it into the wet mush. ‘What’re
you doing? You crazy? That’s my car,’ yelled Farger. He
dove for the driver’s seat. Remo snatched the ignition keys,
slid out the passenger’s door, and jammed it shut so it would
not open. He pranced over the car top and down to the other side
where he performed the same jamming operation on Farger’s door. ‘What’re
you doing, you crazy bastard?’ screamed Farger. ‘An
interview.’ ‘Open
the damned door.’ Farger struggled with the handle, but it
snapped off. The car sank into the dark ooze up to the midpoint of
the hubcaps. Remo hopped to the dry spot of moss near the palm tree.
He took a notebook out of his pocket and waited. ‘Get me
out of here,’ yelled Farger. ‘In
a minute, sir. First, I want your opinion on ecology, the urban
crisis, the farm crisis, the energy crisis, the Indochina situation
and the price of meat.’ With a sudden
belching sound, the front end of the car sank almost to the
windshield. Farger climbed over the seat to the back. He
hurriedly opened the window and tried to climb out headfirst. Remo
left the dry spot to push Farger back inside. ‘Let me
out of here,’ yelled Farger. ‘I’ll tell you
anything.’ , ‘Where
are the Bullingsworth papers?’ ‘I
don’t know. I never saw them.’ ‘Who
told you what to say, when you started shooting off your mouth about
Folcroft?’ ‘Moskowitz.
The city manager. He said Mayor Cartwright wanted me to do it.’ ‘Did
Moskowitz kill Bullingsworth?’ ‘No.
Not that I know of. The Folcroft people did. Are you from Folcroft?’ ‘Don’t
be absurd,’ Remo said. ‘That organization doesn’t
exist.’ ‘I
didn’t know that,’ cried Farger. ‘You gotta let me
out of here.’ Muck oozed up into the car window and Farger
raised the window just ahead of the slime. ‘What
was the point of you guys blabbing about the Folcroft thing?’ ‘It was
Mayor Cartwright’s idea. He said if we exposed it, they
wouldn’t be able to slap any of his men or him with phony,
trumped-up indictments.’ ‘I see.
Thank you for the wonderful interview.’ ‘You
going to let me out of here?’ ‘As a
newsman, I have a responsibility to report the facts, not interfere
with them. Representing the Fourth Estate. .. .’ Remo had no
chance to finish the sentence because with a lurching slurp, Farger’s
car dropped and now only the roof of the sedan showed. Muffled moans
came through it. Remo leaped to the roof. The car sank deeper from
his weight and the swamp began to crowd his little platform. As Chiun had
taught him so long ago, Remo focused the power on his right hand and
welding the fingers and palm into an almost straight line, slashed
down into the thin metal roofing, creating a three-foot long scar. He
ripped the thin topping off and Farger scrambled through the hole,
his face red with sweat and tears. ‘I just
want you to know I’m not fooling around,’ Remo said. ‘Now
take me to see Moskowitz.’ ‘Sure,
sure,’ Farger said. ‘I always considered the press my
friend. You know, you conduct one hell of an interview.’ When Remo and
Farger hitched a ride into the city, Remo said he would reimburse
Farger for the car. ‘Don’t
worry about it,’ Farger said. ‘Insurance will cover it.
You certainly do conduct one whale of an interview.’ In the city
Farger phoned Moskowitz. The city manager had just arrived home. ‘One
whale of a newsman wants to see you, Clyde,’ said Farger. But the
interview never took place. When Remo got to City Manager Clyde
Moskowitz’s house, the door was opened, the lights were on and
Moskowitz was staring at a television set with a half-smile on his
lips. His eyes were clouded. The lacquered wooden handle of an ice
pick stuck out of his right ear. Remo stood near Moskowitz, looking
at the ice pick, sensing the strange floral smell that it seemed to
give off. And then he
felt very helpless. For the first time, Remo feared that the art of
the assassin might not be enough. CHAPTER
EIGHT ‘MARSHAL
DWORSHANSKY, your lilac cologne, sir.’ The valet offered the
thin, silver bottle on the silver tray as the yacht lurched in the
growing hurricane winds. Marshal
Dworshansky shook seven drops of the greenish cologne on his hand,
and rubbed it between his open palms. Then he gently slapped his face
and neck. ‘Shall
I have the cook select the meat, Marshal?’ Dworshansky
shook his head. ‘No, Sasha, the important things a man must do
himself. To my sadness, I have found out that to entrust others with
a major task is to put your life in their hands.’ ‘Very
good, Marshal. The captain wishes to know when to return to port.’ ‘Tell
him to stay out here. Let us ride out the storm, Sasha, like seamen
of old. How is my daughter taking the sea?’ ‘Like a
true sailor, Marshal.’ Dworshansky
chuckled. ‘Ah. If she were a man, Sasha. If she were a man, she
would show them a thing or two, eh, Sasha?’ ‘Yes,
Marshal Dworshansky.’ With two
quick passes of a brush, Dworshansky formed his graying hair into a
neat, presentable style - not quite a crew cut, but not flowing
either. He dressed in white silk shirt and white cotton pants and
white deck shoes. Neat, presentable and functional. He looked at
himself in the mirror and slapped his hard stomach. He was in his
sixties, yet still well-muscled and fat free. When the
captain signed on new, young, crew members, Dworshansky would offer
them $100 if they could throw him in a wrestling match. When none
achieved this, he would offer $200 if two men could do it as a team.
That failing, he offered $300 for three and $400 for four. He would
stop at four, never winded or even flushed with effort. ‘Five
of you might make me work up a sweat,’ he would say. Now
Dworshansky entered the ship’s galley like a general on
inspection. ‘The meat, Dmitri,’ he ordered. ‘It
must be special tonight. Very special.’ ‘Your
daughter, Marshal?’ ‘Yes.
And her daughter, my granddaughter.1 ‘It is
good to serve your entire family again, Marshal.’ Dmitri, a
short wide man with thick Slavic features and hands like soup bowls,
hoisted a boar’s carcass to the cutting block. With obvious
pride, he waited for Marshal Dworshansky to inspect the provision. He
was not disappointed. ‘Dmitri,
in a desert you could find ice water, and-in Siberia, you could
gather warm mushrooms, but in America you are even more magnificent.
Where did you ever get a piece of real meat, hard meat without the
heavy marbling of fat? Tell* me how you did it, Dmitri. No. Don’t
tell me, for then your magic would be lost.’ Dmitri
dropped to one knee and kissed the marshal’s hands. ‘Up,
up, Dmitri. None of that.’ ‘I
would die for you, Marshal.’ ‘Don’t
you dare,’ said Marshal Dworshansky lifting the man to his
feet. ‘And leave me to starve among these savages without my
beloved Dmitri?’ ‘You
will have boar in wine as none of your ancestores’ ancestors
has ever had,’ said Dmitri, and despite protestations, insisted
upon kissing the marshal’s hands again. In the
stateroom, Marshal Dworshansky saw his daughter and granddaughter
reading fashion magazines, the mother scarcely older-looking than her
college-senior daughter, both with the fine high Dworshansky
cheekbones, both with stunningly clear-blue eyes, and both the. joy
and the light of his life. ‘Darlings,’
he called out, opening his arms. His granddaughter leaped into his
arms as though she were still a toddler, laughing and showering
kisses on his cheeks. His daughter
approached him with more mature steps, but the embrace was deeper and
stronger, a mature woman’s love for her father. ‘Hello,
papa,’ she said, and this would have surprised many people in
Manhattan, who knew her as Dorothy Walker, president of Walker,
Handleman and Daser, the queen of the cold bitches of Madison Avenue,
the woman who had battled the giants and won. -One reason
for Dorothy Walker’s success was not, as many rumored, her
ability to find the right bed at the right time, but her superior
business sense, and another fact unknown to anyone outside this calm
stateroom in a turbulent sea. Her little advertising agency was never
little at all. It opened its doors with more than $25 million in
assets, the personal dowry returned by her husband before he
disappeared two decades before. Unlike other
little shops that begin with creative talents and hopes, Walker,
Handleman and Daser began with the ability to go ten years without a
client. Naturally, not needing business for survival, the agency
found business ganging up at its front door. ’ ‘Have
you been a good boy, papa?’ asked Dorothy Walker, patting her
father’s flat stomach. ‘I have
not looked for trouble.’ ‘I
don’t like the sound of that,’ said Dorothy Walker. ‘Oh,
grandpa. Are you doing exciting things again?’ ‘Ten is
under the impression that your life has been a romantic one, papa. I
wish you had never told her those stories.’ ‘Stories?
They are all true, my dear.’ ‘Which
makes them worse, papa. Now, please,’ ‘Oh,
mommy. You’re so out of it. Grandpa is so cool, so with it, and
you keep putting him down. Really, mommy.’ ‘Cool
and with it, I can buy for $25,000 a year, take your choice of
weight, size and hair styling. Your grandfather is too old and too
mature to be out adventuring around the world.’ ‘Enough
controversy,’ said Marshal Dworshansky. ‘Tell me the good
things that are happening to you.’ Ten had a
basketful of good things and she explained them in detail, each with
a tense crisis and each of great import, from a new boyfriend to a
professor who hated her. ‘Which
professor?’ asked Marshal Dworshansky. ‘Never
mind, papa - and Teri, don’t you tell him.’ ‘Ah, my
daughter is so fierce. Listen to your mother.’ After the
late dinner was over and after the granddaughter had gone to bed,
Dorothy Walker, nee Dworshansky, spoke seriously to her father. ‘All
right. What is it this time?’ ‘What
is what?’ asked the marshal with great innocence. ‘Your
happiness.’ ‘I am
happy to see my loved ones again.’ ‘Papa,
you can bullshit prime ministers and governors and generals and oil
sheiks. But you can’t bullshit me^ Now there is one happiness
for seeing me and Teri, and another when you’ve been out in one
of your street fights.’ Marshal
Dworshansky stiffened. ‘The Spanish Civil War was not a street
fight. World War II was not a street fight. South America was not a
street fight, nor was the Yemeni campaign.’ ‘Papa,
this is Dorothy you’re talking to. I know, no matter how you
plan things, you always wind up doing the dirty work yourself. And it
makes you very happy. What is it this time? What is it that would
make you break your promise to me?’ ‘I
didn’t break my promise. I did not seek this out. I was
truthfully minding my own business,’ said Marshal Dworshansky,
and then he told her about having cocktails with Mayor Cartwright in
Miami Beach when he got some bad news. And all Marshal Dworshansky
had said was a mere: ‘If I were in your shoes, I would not
panic. I would. ...’ And like so
many other campaigns, this one had begun like that. A bit of good
advice, then a promise of reward from those he served. Unlike other
soldiers of fortune however, Marshal Dworshansky was not a penniless
beggar who would settle for jewels or money. Like his daughter, he
always went for bigger game. Not needing money, he demanded and got
much more than money. ‘I’ve
never had a city before,’ he said. ‘And besides, the
campaign is all over. Mayor Cartwright cannot lose.’ ‘And
how many ice picks have you left in how many ears?’ ‘Some
things, as you know, are necessary to do, even when we do not take
pleasure in them. But it should be over now. The enemy is stumped.’ And when
Marshal Dworshansky outlined who he thought the enemy was, his
daughter looked away from him in anger. ‘You
know, papa, I used to resent those Polish jokes. But now, after
hearing this, after listening to you so incredibly happy about your
wonderful new enemy, I’m beginning to wonder if those jokes did
not make us look a bit too intelligent.’ Dworshansky
was curious. He had never heard of a Polish joke. ‘If
you’d leave this yacht other than to cause mayhem or stick an
ice pick in someone’s ear, papa, you’d find out what the
world is up to.’ Intrigued,
the marshal demanded to hear Polish jokes and to his daughter’s
reluctant good humor, he laughed uproariously at each. ‘I’ve
heard them before,’ he said, slapping a knee gleefully. ‘We
used to call them Ukranian jokes. Did you ever hear about the
Ukranian who went to college?’ Dorothy shook
her head. ‘Neither
has anyone else,’ said Dworshansky and exploded in a booming
laugh that reddened his face and brought him near helplessness
everytime he repeated: ‘Neither has anyone else.’ ‘That’s
a horrible joke, papa,’ laughed Dorothy Walker, not wanting to
encourage her father, but his laughter was too contagious for her to
resist. For the rest
of the night he told Ukranian jokes and would not stop even when his
ship’s radio operator interrupted to tell him Mayor Cartwright
was trying desperately to reach him. ‘An
urgent problem, Marshal,’ said the radio operator. "Someone
named Moskowitz is dead.’ ‘Wladyslaw,’
said Marshal Dworshansky, ‘Have yon ever heard about the
Ukranian who went to college?’ CHAPTER
NINE HURRICANE
warnings were sounded in the Miami Beach area, and a shaky Sheriff
McAdow met with Mayor Cartwright in the mayor’s spacious
one-story ranchhouse, as dark winds whipped through palm trees on the
lawn. Cartwright
turned away from his shortwave radio, his face flushed. He wore
Bermuda shorts and a white tee shirt. An open bottle of bourbon sat
on top of the set. McAdow,
ashen-faced, leaned forward. ‘Nothing?
Nothing?’ Cartwright
shook his head. McAdow, in
white shirt with shining star and light gray pants with black leather
holster, rose from his seat and went to the window. He shook his
head. ‘Your
idea, Tim. Your idea.’ Cartwright
poured himself a half-tumbler of bourbon and downed it in two gulps.
‘Good. I confess. My idea. ‘Sue me.’ ‘Jesus,
what did you get us into, Tim? What did you get us into?’ ‘Will
you relax? Just relax. The marshal says we’re in good shape.’ ‘And he
won’t answer your radio message.’ ‘He
said we should sit tight and we’re in good shape. Now damn it,
until we hear from him or reach him, that’s what we’re
going to do.’ Tim Cartwright filled the tumbler half-full
again. ‘We’re
in great shape. Great shape. Moskowitz is dead. Just like
Bullingsworth got it. Farger is shitting in his pants because he says
he met some guy who rips off car roofs, and we’re sitting tight
with orders to do nothing until further orders. Great shape. There’s
Farger out there carrying the ball, and he’s as loose as
lambshit, and Moskowitz is dead.’ ‘I
trust Dworshansky.’ ‘So why
are you drinking so heavy?5 ‘I’m
celebrating early. My victory next week in my bid for re-election.
"Mayor Timothy Cartwright last night won an overwhelming victory
in his re-election effort as he trounced one lunatic, 99 percent to 1
percent." ‘You’re
so sure? Just because Dworshansky said so? Your great friend,
military, political, organizational genius Dworshansky. The man
countries bid for. Your friend.’ ‘You
agreed,’ Cartwright said. ‘Everything
happened so damned fast.’ ‘Something
else is damned fast,’ the mayor said. ‘You forgot damned
fast that the feds were going to stick your ass in jail, and
Dworshansky’s maneuver has blown that all to hell.’ ‘I’d
rather do a stretch in jail than end up with an ice pick in my ear.’ ‘We
don’t know if Dworshansky did it.’ ‘And I
don’t know that he didn’t.’ ‘And if
he did, so what? He told us, maybe some people had to die. I don’t
like it. You don’t like it. But even worse, I don’t like
being poor and in jail.’ Sheriff
McAdow turned from the window. ‘I’ll see you. I’m
going back to headquarters. The lines will be buzzing like crazy in
this weather.’ ‘Go
to it, Clyde. That’s what you were elected for. Protect the
people.’ When the
sheriff had left, Tim Cartwright filled his tumbler full and turned
out the lights in the room. He watched the hurricane grow, the rain
coming in torrents now, the city preparing to survive nature. What had gone
wrong? He hadn’t run for office to be on the take. He had run
because he wanted to be somebody. He had come home from the second
world war with the government owing him an education under the GI
bill and a lot of thoughts about democracy and that way of government
being the best for people to live under. So how
did he end up with a big fat bank account in Switzerland, scheming to
stay out of jail? Even as a councilman, he wouldn’t take. Sure,
he needed campaign contributions and contractors who were helpful got
a little extra consideration, but nothing out of the ordinary. Was it the
first time that the campaign treasury had a surplus, and he took the
overage for himself? Or was it doing favors for nothing, and then
wondering why he didn’t do them for something? Tim
Cartwright could not place the first step toward actively seeking
extraordinary profit from his office, but he knew the later ones. And
they could send him to jail. And so, not
to go to jail, he entrusted his future to a man who claimed he knew
how espionage worked. It had seemed very simple at first. Well, not
really simple, but kind of daring-brilliant. The fed spies
had Cartwright and McAdow and Moskowitz. They knew the bank accounts
and the graft and the shakedowns. So instead of trying to deny it and
defend themselves, they were told: go on the attack. Make it
impossible for the government to use its information. And it
had worked. An expendable piece of equipment, Willard Farger, had
been sent off on a fool’s errand - to attack the government -
and it had worked, Cartwright was going to be re-elected next week,
and the government would be afraid to move against him. And by the
time the feds had gotten their wits back about them, well, Mayor Tim
Cartwright might just have resigned his office and decided to go live
out his twilight years in Switzerland. ‘I
promise you a long and happy life, free of jail,’ Marshal
Dworshansky had said. And
there was only a small price. Give him the city. Whatever the Marshal
wanted in greater Miami Beach, Cartwright had to provide. Cartwright
hoped that Dworshansky would ask for the narcotics business.
Cartwright had never wanted to be in on it, but the money was just
too much to refuse. Protect the
people. Tim Cartwright downed the last of the tumbler and wanted to
cry. He would have given anything at that moment not to have taken
that little bit of campaign overage many years before. In Folcroft
Sanitarium, a Dr. Harold Smith appeared bewildered. Did the FBI men
really believe someone with a Folcroft educational grant was doing
some sort of political espionage? Yes, was the
answer. Well, Dr.
Smith’s books and records were completely open to the FBI.
Imagine someone doing something illegal with an educational grant.
What was this world coming to? ‘You’re
either naive Or a genius,’ said an FBI agent. ‘Neither,
I’m afraid,’ Dr. Smith said. ‘Just an
administrator.’ ‘Just
one question. Why are those windows one-way glass?’ ‘They
were like that when the foundation purchased the estate,’ said
Smith, who remembered how the dating on the billing had been changed
more than a decade ago in preparation for just such an investigation.
The whole organization had been set up to work just that way, from
the computer tapes to the billing on the one-way glass. The
secret of CURE was holding. If it could hold just a little longer,
Remo might be able to pull off the little miracle. Somehow, figure
out a way to defuse the Miami Beach bomb that was blowing the cover
off CURE. It was a slim chance, but it was CURE’s only chance.
Just wait. Wait for an all-clear from Remo. In
Miami Beach, nothing was clear. Hurricane Megan had seen to that.
Even Chiun had been helpless, as his daytime serials were interrupted
by static. The Master of Sinanju looked heavenward in anger and then
to Remo’s surprise, turned off the television. ‘I’ve
never seen you do that before, and in the middle of As the Planet
Revolves.’ ‘One
cannot go against the forces of the universe. That is for fools. One
should use those forces and thus become stronger.’ ‘How
can you use a hurricane?’ asked Remo. ‘If you
need to know, you will know, when you are at peace with those
forces.’ ‘Well,
I need to know, Little Father, I need to know something.’ ‘Then
you will know it.’ ‘I will
know it. I will know it,’ said Remo, imitating the high-pitched
voice. ‘What will I know?’ He went to a large oak table
in the middle of the living room of the condominium apartment that he
had leased in Chiun’s name, using the last of the CURE money he
had. ‘What
will I know?’ he repeated and closed his right hand on
the corner of the table. ‘To focus the forces of my mind,’
he said, snapping off the corner of the table as if k were thin
plastic. ‘Hooray for the forces of the mind. We now have
a broken table and I am still helpless, ‘What
will I know, Little Father? To keep the centrality of my balance?’
And Remo’s feet hit the wall, then went to the ceiling, as if
yanked by wire cords, and then, back down to the carpet which he
caught with his neck. He rolled erect to his feet. ‘Hooray for
the forces of the mind. We now have footprints on the ceiling.
Helpless. I’m as helpless as you are. We’re helpless.
Don’t you understand. We’re just two crummy, helpless
assassins.’ ‘Just,’
said Chiun. ‘Just. Just. Just. You do not see. You do not hear
and you do not think. Just. Just. Just.’ ‘Just.
Just helpless,’ and Remo repeated how he had started his
mission to save CURE. He had gotten all that a frightened man could
tell him. Although
Chiun was deeply offended, he nodded that this had been correct. ‘And he
gave me the name of another man,’ Chiun nodded
that this, too, was correct^ ‘But
that man was dead.’ Chiun nodded
again, for there was still the alternative. ‘So I
waited for them to come after me.’ Chiun nodded,
for that, too, was correct. That was the alternative. ‘And no
one has come.’ Chiun thought
deeply and raised a long-nailed finger. ‘It is very difficult,
my son, when your enemy will not help you. This is rare, I must
admit, for most conflicts are won by those who help their foe the
least. This I have taught you. Is there another person connected with
this that you know?’ Remo shook
his head. ‘Only one,’ he said. ‘The mayor. And if I
should attack him, I would destroy myself, because it would mean that
all his stories about CURE and Folcroft have been true. So I would
gain nothing.’ Chiun thought
deeply again, and then he smiled. ‘I have
the answer. It is as simple as knowing who you are.’ Remo was
awed. The Master of Sinanju had seen through a difficult problem
again. ‘We
have lost,’ Chiun said, ’and knowing that, knowing that
our current emperor has lost his kingdom, we will seek a new emperor,
as Masters of Sinanju have done since there was a Sinanju and since
there were emperors.’ ‘That’s
your answer?’ ‘Of
course,’ said Chiun. ‘You have said it yourself. We are
assassins, not just assassins. Any man with a good mind can become a
doctor, and being an emperor is an accident of birth, or, in your
country, an accident of voters, and being an athlete is just the
happenstance of body combined with effort, but to be an assassin, a
Master of Sinanju, or a student of Sinanju - ah, that is something.
That is not for everyone.’ ‘You’re
as helpful as a hangover, Chiun.’ ‘What
is your problem? That you are what you are?’ Remo felt
frustration mount to the border of rage. ‘Little
Father. If the world were any sort of decent place to live, then I
wouldn’t be doing this. .. this.’ ‘So
that is it. You wish to change the world?’ ‘Yeah.’ Chiun smiled.
‘Better to stop the hurricane with a string. Are you speaking
truth to me?’ ‘Yes.
That’s what this organization that pays our salaries is about.’ ‘I did
not know that,’ said Chiun in amazement. ‘Changing
the world. Then we are truly lucky that we leave this kingdom, for
surely its emperor is mad.’ Tm not
leaving. I’m not letting Smith down. You can leave if you
wish.’ Chiun waved a
finger, signifying that he would not do this. ‘I have spent ten
years transforming worthless, meatpeating self-indulgent flab into
something almost approaching competence. I am not leaving my
investment.’ ‘All
right, then,’ said Remo. ‘Do you have any usable
suggestions?’ Tor a man who
wishes to change the world, no suggestion is usable.; Unless of
course you wish to stop the hurricane and transform it into little
streams that feed the rice fields.’ ‘How?’
Remo said. ‘If you
cannot make your enemies fight your fight, then you must fight their
fight, even if they should win. Because it is truly written that an
unjust man finds success to be the greatest failure of all.’ ‘Thanks,’
said Remo in disgust. He left the apartment and went downstairs,
where the aged residents were discussing the hurricane and how
hurricanes like this never happened in the Bronx, but Miami Beach was
so much nicer, wasn’t it? Most of the
people in the building were retired New Yorkers. Remo sat down in a
sofa in the lobby to think. All right. He forced his mind clear.
Farger had been a link, but he knew nothing. Moskowitz, the link
after Farger, had been broken with an ice pick. Normal tactics called
for Remo to go after Cartwright, but with Cartwright continually
screaming that the government was out to get him, an attack by Remo
would just lend weight to the charge, and CURE would be dead. Remo
felt a finger poke his arm. It was a chubby old lady in a print dress
with a warm smile. Remo tried to ignore her. The finger poked again. ‘Yes,’
said Remo. ‘You
have such a lovely father,’ said the woman. ‘So sweet and
gentle and kind. Not like my Morris. My husband Morris.’ ‘That’s
nice,’ said Remo. How could he make his opponents fight? ‘You
don’t look Korean,’ said the woman. Tm not,’
said Remo. ‘I
don’t mean to be nosey, but how could that sweet loveable human
being be your father if you’re not Korean?’ ‘What?’
said Remo. ‘You’re
not Korean.’ ‘No. Of
course, I’m not Korean.’ ‘You
should be nicer to your father. He’s too nice for words:’ ‘He’s
a real sweetheart,’ said Remo sarcastically. ‘I
detect a tone of disapproval.’ ‘He’s
wonderful. Wonderful,’ said Remo. Could Remo attack other
officials in the city government? Ones not involved with the League
papers? No. It would still be-too close. ‘You
should listen to your father more. He knows best.’ ‘Sure,’
said Remo. What could make the politicians come after him? ‘Your
father’s given you so much. We all cried when we heard what you
had done to him.’ Remo suddenly
tuned into the woman. ‘I’ve
done something to Chiun?’ he asked. ‘You have spoken to
Chiun?’ ‘Oh,
everyone speaks to Chiun. He’s so sweet. And to think his son
won’t carry on the tradition.’ ‘Did he
tell you what the tradition was?’ ‘Religious
something or other we didn’t understand. You help support
starving babies or something. Overseas relief. Right? But you don’t
want to do that for a living, right? You should listen to your
father. He’s such a nice man.’ ‘Please,’
Remo said. ‘I’m trying to think.’ ‘You go
ahead and think and don’t let me bother you. I know you’re
not an ingrate like everyone in the building says.’ ‘Thank
you for your confidence,’ Remo said. ‘Please leave me
alone.’ ‘That’s
no way to talk to the only person in this building who doesn’t
think you’re an ingrate.’ Remo looked
at his hands. They were useless. ‘You
should treasure your father. You should listen to him.’ All right,
lady. All right. I’ll listen to Chiun. What did he say? If you
can’t make your opponents fight your fight, then fight their
fight. What in the hell could that mean? Wait! Just suppose. Suppose
Remo had a candidate for mayor, and he could elect him. They’d
either have to come after Remo, or else lose the power they were
fighting to keep. Of course, because if Cartwright lost, he’d
wind up in jail. Once you’re in, you can always nail those who
are recently out. Okay. One for
Chiun. But how? Could Remo lean on every voter? Absurd. What about a
candidate? Anybody. But money? What about money? Remo no longer had
access to CURE finances. All he had were his hands. His worthless
hands. For the first
time in a decade, he had money troubles, a lot of them. ‘...
leaving that poor sweet old man alone upstairs what with all the
robberies that have been taking place.’ Remo tuned
back in on the conversation. Beautiful. That was it.
He rose from the sofa and kissed the startled woman on her cheek. ‘Beautiful,’
he said. ‘Absolutely beautiful.’ ‘Attractive,
maybe,’ said the woman, ’but beautiful, no. Now I have a
granddaughter, she’s beautiful. Are you married?’ CHAPTER
TEN THE
Bade County Airport was crowded and all flights to Puerto Rico were
booked because of two days of weather delays. Remo smiled
at the reservations clerk who had said she would try to get him out
on a flight the next day, and she said: ‘You’re cute.’ ‘So
are you,’ Remo said. ‘We ought to check this thing out
when I get back from Puerto Rico. But you’ve got to get me on
the next flight.’ ‘Let’s
check it out tonight,’ said the clerk in airlines blue. ‘You’re
not going to Puerto Rico tonight.’ ‘Not
even a standby?’ ‘Every
flight tonight has at least a half dozen standbys. You’ll never
get off tonight.’ ‘Put me
on standby,’ said Remo. ‘I feel lucky.’ ‘All
right. But you’d be better off at my place. That’s real
lucky.’ ‘You
bet,’ said Remo, winking. Who knew if she voted in Miami Beach
or not, and if he should be with his candidate, whoever he might be,
and she saw him, she just might vote for that candidate. Now he knew
why Chiun loathed politics. You had to be pleasant to people. She gave him
the flight number and Remo checked out the waiting area. It was
packed. Good. He saw the doors to the loading platform where a
uniformed clerk stood taking registrations and tickets. Good. Remo
spun around and went back down the aisle until he saw a waiting gate
which was not in use. He ducked into it and went to a loading door
which was locked. He cracked his way through it as if it were
designed to be cracked by any passerby, and then was out into the
rain-squawl remnant of the passed hurricane. Field lights blinked in
the distance and he could see the colored lights over the control
tower. How ironic, he thought. If CURE were still functioning, he
would only have to phone Smith and he could get an Air Force plane if
he wanted. And here he was trying to beat one of the peasants out of
a seat on an economy special to San Juan. He waited in
the night rain getting soaked, until an operations attendant in white
uniform with plastic ear protectors and baseball cap pulled over his
head trotted toward one of the hangars. Like a
wind at midnight, Remo was out onto the slick asphalt and he took the
man with a short slap at the back of the head, not enough for
concussions but enough to put him out. The man hadn’t even
begun to crumple when Remo spun him around, back toward the gate door
he had cracked through. Remo helped him out of his white coveralls,
baseball cap and earphones. Remo rolled the man to where asphalt met
siding and squeezed into the coveralls, pulling them on over his own
suit jacket and pants. Then he put on the earphones and cap and was
ready. He moved
along the side of the building counting doors until he got to his
Puerto Rican flight. He was standing there when the doors to the
airstrip opened. ‘This
flight 825 for Juan?’ he yelled in the area. A few
passengers, waiting for him to get out of their way so they could go
to the plane, mumbled yes. The ticket taker came from behind his
counter and looked at Remo in the disdainful manner visited on people
who work with their hands, by those in white shirts who make less. ‘This
is improper,’ said the clerk. ‘Improper,
hell. Is this flight taking off?’ ‘Of
course it is.’ Remo whistled
low and shook his head. ‘They
never listen. They never listen. All right, let them save two
thousand bucks a flight. Let them save it.’ The clerk, a
smooth-faced tedious compendium of propriety, raised his hands to
shush Remo. ‘Sure.
Let everybody know but the passengers,’ Remo said. ‘Will
you shut up?’ whispered the clerk angrily. ‘Won’t
make no difference,’ Remo said loudly. ‘That jet hits
five hundred feet, there ain’t gonna be anybody around to
compalin. Pheew. Nobody.’ ‘What’s
your name?’ demanded the clerk. ‘Just
the guy who tried to save the lives of innocent people. We’ve
had these engines in and out of the shop and we’ve been lucky.
But in this weather, no luck is gonna carry this cheap outfit.’ Remo turned
to the passengers. A young mother cradled her child in her arms. ‘Look,’
said Remo. ‘A little baby. For saving two grand on a crummy
flight, a little baby. And his mother. You bastards.’ With that,
Remo pulled his head back in, slammed the door behind him and went
back the way he came. He peeled off his coveralls and dropped them on
the still sleeping figure of the airlines man. When Remo
returned to the ticket counter, he was pleasantly surprised. There
was a sudden rash of cancellations for his flight. ‘Lucky,’
Remo said. ‘You
sure are,’ said the girl. ‘I don’t understand it.’ ‘I live
clean,’ said Remo squinching the rain from his hair. A few people
looked at him closely but none of the passengers on the ’doomed’
flight to San Juan recognized him as the flight attendant, whose
emotional outburst had left the plane with a half dozen empty seats. When the
plane landed, Remo caught a cab to a large fish packer, a specialist
in frozen fillets, who assured him that he packed for many major
American brands. But could the
man ship on delivery? Was he reliable? ‘Absolutely,
sir.’ Remo wasn’t
sure. He was in the hotel business and he had to be sure of
deliveries. If the man could guarantee him immediate air shipment,
Remo might consider him for really large regular orders. ‘In
twelve hours, you can have any order you want.’ Fine, Remo
said. Tomorrow morning would be fine. He picked out the fish he
wanted, and insisted that cartons be marked with an X painted red.
Right now. On all fifty boxes. Now Remo wanted them shipped inside
outer cartons with a good amount of dry ice. ‘We
know how to ship, senor.’ Perhaps, but
Remo knew what he wanted. He wanted red X’s on the outside
boxes also. The packer
shrugged. Remo gave the man the last of his money and said he would
pay the rest in the morning. ‘Cash?’
asked the packer suspiciously. ‘Of
course,’ Remo said. ‘We’re in a fast business. We
only pay our regular suppliers by checks.’ Remo realized that
made no sense at all, but he could tell that the packer thought there
might be something slightly illegal about Remo’s business, and
the packer liked that. He liked it so much, he added a little charge
to the shipment. ‘For
speedy delivery, senor.’ Remo feigned
mild outrage, the packer feigned mild innocence, and the deal was
consummated. When he
left the packer, Remo had only enough money left for a cab to the new
hotel strip just outside San Juan. For some strange reason, he felt
suddenly hungry when he was unable to buy food. He had not wanted for
anything since he was recruited. Remo
felt the hot sun of San Juan and let the hunger linger. That felt
good, because he had been trained to control his hunger as he
controlled his muscles and nerves. He enjoyed the pains in his
stomach until they became unenjoyable and then, as he had been taught
years before by the Master of Sinanju, he brought relaxation down his
chest and into his stomach. The Japanese
Samurai, Chiun had said, pretended they had eaten a meal and in this
way tricked their minds into tricking their stomachs. This was a bad
way to deal with hunger because it was an untruth, and he who loses
the truth with himself becomes blind in a small way, and to be blind
was to die. In Sinanju,
the masters knew their bodies and would not tell them lies. Hunger
was the body telling the truth. Do not deny the pain, but accept it
and leave it. You have the pain, but not as something that bothers
you. Remo had
thought he would never understand and never learn, but his body
learned without him, and one day he was just doing the things Chiun
had taught him, although he did not know how he did them. Remo
located the power station he wanted, and waited then until the
darkness of past midnight. He checked the very light plastic suit
folded into his jacket pocket and the rubber mask folded in the
other. No point in going ahead unprepared, he thought. Inside the
power station, Remo eloquently explained to the chief engineer what
he wanted. ‘Show
me how to turn off the power for several hours or I’ll break
your other arm.’ The chief
engineer, rolling on the floor in agony, thought this offer made
eminent sense. He mumbled something Remo could hardly understand
about backing up and currents and all the things chief engineers were
expected to know about. What it came down to was pulling the lever on
the top of the panel and the lever on the bottom at the same time. ‘The
one with the little squidget kind of thing?’ asked Remo. ‘Si’
said the engineer, moaning. Thanks,’
said Remo, and pulled both levers simultaneously. He was in darkness.
San Juan’s hotel strip, across the highway from him, was in
darkness too. ‘I will
wait here and if you so much as move,’ Remo said, ‘I will
kill you.’ And then, with the quiet of a lynx on a fur blanket,
Remo was out of the power station with the engineer still believing
that the monster was with him. The El
Diablo and the Columbia Hotels are the largest on the strip,
separated only by an alley. Their gambling rooms stay open until 4
a.m., but now in the predawn darkness, the gambling stopped, and the
men reached for candles and flashlights. Remo was into the El Diablo
by the front door as bellboys and managers searched for lights. The
night manager of the hotel knew exactly what to do in a power
blackout. When the lights went out, he slammed shut the safe,
according to regulatory precautions. He stood by
it with a pistol, according to regulatory precautions. What was not
in the regulations was the incredibly severe pain
at the base of his spinal column. He was told how he could end the
pain and since he wanted that more than anything else in the world,
he did what he was told. He opened the safe by the light of a candle,
and when it was opened, and Remo saw where the bundles and bags of
gambling money were, he blew out the candle. From his jacket pocket,
he removed the full rubber head mask and stuffed the face with money.
He filled the chest cavity of the suit with money, and moving his arm
into the empty arm of the one-piece jumpsuit, held the chest money
which supported the head money, and for all practical purposes, it
looked as if he held a dummy at the end of his arm. Except in the
darkness, it did not look like a dummy, but a man who was holding on
to Remo for support. Remo moved through the bustling confusion and
vagrant flashing lights, saying ‘Man injured. Man injured.’ But no one
could be bothered with an injured man. After all, was that not the
night manager yelling about a robbery? ‘Injured
man,’ yelled Remo as he crossed the alley to the Columbia
Hotel, but he was ignored, for men’s jobs were at stake and
these jobs depended on the most important thing at a casino. Money. ‘Injured
man,’ yelled Remo, moving to the manager’s office of the
Columbia. ‘Get
that sonofabitch out of here,’ yelled the manager of the
Columbia, thinking that if there ever was a negligence suit, he could
deny what he had said in court, and it would be his word against the
word of the two guests. Then he no
longer cared about his word or anyone else’s word. He cared
only about the incredible pain in his stomach. He too was told how he
could make this pain stop, and he did, so Remo put him to sleep and
filled out the rest of the dummy suit with more money. Into the
lobby went Remo, only now, for the police, he was a drunk with a
drunken buddy, trying to tell them how to do their job. ‘You
get the hell out of here,’ ordered a police captain, ’or
you’re under arrest.’ Chastened the
two drunks moved off, out of the lobby, into the night. Remo felt a
hand on his shoulder and turned to see a policeman, high-peaked
island hat and all. ‘Okay,
buddy,’ the cop said, ‘I know your game. Something big is
happening, and you want to get arrested, so that later you can brag
about how you were arrested on the big night. Well, we’re not
stupid mainland gringos here. So get moving.’ And roughly,
the police officer pushed Remo and his friend past the squad cars,
down the street, and the officer waited until the two drunks had
left. ‘Damned
gringo and their emotional problems,’ said the officer, who had
just taken a course in psychology for a promotion he hoped someday to
get. The packing
house was closed when Remo broke a window lock, made his way to the
freezer, found the boxes marked with the red X, and replaced much of
the dry ice with money. He kept two handfuls of one hundred dollar
bills, and then left through the window. He shredded the suit and
mask in a nearby trash can and waited for the manager to arrive. ‘Punctual,’
Remo said, as the manager arrived with the first rays of dawn. ‘I
like that.’ Remo paid the remainder of the charges in cash and
promised an order five times as big if this delivery was really as
prompt as the manager promised. He made this promise as sincerely as
possible, because he was entering politics and one had to be sincere
in politics when one told lies. The manager
personally drove his new customer to the airport. On the trip, Remo
mentioned several names he had read in a CURE report, men whose Mafia
connections Stateside were immaculate. The manager caught the drift
of the conversation and assured Remo of his fidelity, ‘Fidelity
is a very healthy thing,’ said Remo. The manager
understood completely. Remo gave him
a little present for himself. A half-inch of money. ‘You
are too generous,’ said the manager, wondering exactly what
Remo’s mob connections were. ‘Spend
it in good health,’ Remo said. ‘Be sure to spend it in
good health.’ On the
plane, Remo read in the San Juan paper the reports of the robbery.
Brilliant, cunning, masterfully executed, well planned. The paper
reported that a team of men - one injured - simultaneously robbed the
two largest hotels. The cash loss was estimated at $2.5 million. Remo
would have to check that out against his fish which were due to
arrive in Miami an hour after he did. He didn’t think he had
gotten that much. Probably employees had filched some. Maybe even the
police. These things happened sometimes during big robberies. He felt
angry that there were so many crooks in the world. He went to
the New York Times, feeling self-righteous and self-satisfied.
Nothing there about the robbery. It had happened too late for the
early editions of the Times which was flown to the island. In the
back sections of the paper was a picture of a stunning, knockout
blonde in an evening gown. She was, the caption said, the Madison
Avenue genius, Dorothy Walker of Walker, Handleman and Baser. An
accompanying story said that her firm had never lost an account, and
never failed to sell the client’s product. Remo looked at the
face that stared at him off the page. Smart, cultured, professional,
and she looked as if she had great boobs, to boot. Done.
Decided. Walker, Handleman and Daser, which had never lost, would run
the campaign for Remo’s candidate for mayor. All he needed was
a candidate for mayor, and that would be no problem for a man who
was, as the San Juan robbery reports had it, ’brilliant,
cunning, a masterful planner.’ ‘Brilliant,’
he mumbled to himself, reading again about the robbery. Perhaps if he
had been running CURE instead of Smith, there never would have been
the foulup and the leak in Miami Beach. Well, he would plug up the
leaks and get Smith out of his little jam, try to give him some
advice on proper security. Chiun was
wrong when he advised Remo to know what he could do and what he could
not do. He was wrong in limiting his vision to doing what his father
had done before him. That was the Oriental mind. Remo was American.
There were new horizons, especially for brilliant and cunning people.
How Chiun was afraid for people who thought they were brilliant. ‘When
you think you are brilliant, my son,’ he had said, ’that
is the beginning of stupidity, for you shut out all those senses that
tell you of your weaknesses. And he who does not know his weaknesses
cannot feed the babies of Sinanju,’ CHAPTER
ELEVEN HURRICANE
Megan had passed and Miami Beach basked again in tropical mellowness.
The Master of Sinanju sat on his balcony, warming himself in the
dying sun, contemplating the disaster of someone with skills, Sinanju
skills, lowering himself to politics. It was not a pleasant
contemplation. In his life,
he had had two pupils. One, although Korean, a relative, and a
villager of Sinanju, had been a complete loss. The other had proved
to be a pleasant surprise, a white man, an American white man who had
learned with exceeding swiftness the teachings of Sinanju. And Chiun had
taught him thus. He had taken a white man and made him almost worthy
to assume the role of Master of Sinanju. With a Japanese, it would
have been almost impossible, but with a white man, it was
unthinkable, yet Chiun had done this thing, teaching his pupil to
know the forces of man and nature, and to assume the responsibility
for feeding Sinanju when the time came for its current master to
return his body to the waters of time. Now this
pupil was to become a salesman of people. The thought made Chiun very
unhappy. It was as if a beautiful swan were to try to burrow through
the mud like a worm. He would have to tell Remo that, but Remo still
had a way of not listening. The doorbell
buzzer interrupted the thoughts of the Master of Sinanju and he left
his balcony to answer it. It was Ethel Hirshberg with her friends.
They had come to keep him company. Chiun liked
these women, especially Mrs. Hirshberg, who had come to his rescue at
the baggage rack at the airport. They knew how to understand tragedy
and mourning. They appreciated what it was like to have children who
did not appreciate what their parents had done for them. They
appreciated the great daytime television dramas, the finest art form
of the western world. And they played Mah Jongg. That the
woman did not know they were in the presence of the deadliest single
killer in the world was not due to a lack of perception. People only
understand what they already know, and seeing this frail old man with
such sensitive features, hearing him talk of the babies of Sinanju,
they naturally believed he raised money for babies, because they, in
their lives, had spent much time raising money for such causes. They
did not know that the babies of Sinanju were fed by deaths, performed
for salary by the Master. Such was
their concern and affection for Chiun that when a mugger was reported
in the building the night before, they all ran out with pots and pans
to save Chiun, because they knew he was taking his evening stroll at
the time. Fortunately, the mugger was found in a stairwell. Police
theorized that he had been hit with a sledgehammer in the chest,
although no sledgehammer was found and although the coroner privately
pointed out that to inflict so much damage, the sledgehammer would
have had to be dropped from a height of four miles. But the coroner
said nothing publicly, since a mugger was a mugger was a mugger, and
however they were gotten rid of was a benefit to mankind, in his
opinion. In the
opinion of the ladies of the apartment building, it was goodness
coming to goodness that Chiun had been spared. Now they had
a surprise for him. One of the ladies’ sons was a writer for
the most successful adventure show of the season. And wouldn’t
Chiun be happy to know it was about an Oriental? ‘It’s
coming on now,’ squealed Mrs. Hirshberg. Chiun sat on
the large sofa between Mrs. Hirshberg and Mrs. Levy. He watched the
opening credits tolerantly, as the hero of the series trudged across
the desert sand. But he moved forward on the couch to watch an
opening flashback when the hero relived his childhood in the Orient
and his training in the arts of combat. He sat that
way, shaking his head, through the entire show, and as soon as it was
over, he bade the women good night because he was tired. He still sat
on the sofa when Remo came home. There was a
very evil thing on the television tonight,’ he said as Remo
came through the door, ‘Oh?’ ‘Yes,
an evil thing.’ ‘Oh. Am
I allowed to know what this evil thing was?’ ‘A
program told of the Shaolin priests, as if they were wise and good
men.’ Chiun said this in a voice that reached for outrage, then
looked to Remo as if for solace. ‘So?’
Remo said. ‘The
Shaolin were chicken thieves, who took refuge from the police in a
monastery. And because it was better to have them in a monastery than
in the countryside stealing chickens, they were allowed to live there
and to masquerade as priests.’ ‘I
see,’ Remo said, although he did not see at all.’ ‘You do
not see at all,’ Chiun said. ‘It is evil to deceive
people into believing well of people of whom only ill should be
thought.’ ‘It’s
only a show, for crying out loud,’ Remo said. ‘But
think of the people it can mislead.’ ‘Well,
then, write a letter to the producer and complain.’ ‘Do you
think that will do any good?’ ‘No,’
Remo said, ’but it’ll make you feel better.’ ‘Then I
will not do that. I will do something else.’ Remo
showered. When he came out, Chiun was seated at the table in the
kitchen, pencil in hand, paper in front of him. He looked up
at Remo. ‘How do
you spell Howard Cosell?’ he asked. CHAPTER
TWELVE OF
course, Willard Farger remembered Remo. How could he ever forget
such a good interviewer? No, no, no, he wasn’t nervous; he
always sweated in the spring heat of Bade County. Certainly. Even in
his air-conditioned home. That’s
good,’ Remo said. ‘A little sweat is good for a man who’s
going to be the next mayor of Miami Beach.’ Farger looked
at Remo closely to see if he were joking, then thought it over for a
full tenth of a second and smiled because the thought gave him
pleasure, then shook his head in resigned sadness. ‘Maybe
someday, but not this year.’ ‘Why
not?’ Remo said. ‘It’s
too late. The election’s next week. There’s no way to get
on the ballot this year,’ ‘No
way?’ ‘No
way,’ Farger said. ‘I made my move too late.’ He
was beginning to relax just a little, as each passing second made his
assurance grow that Remo was not, for the moment, going to bury him
in a swamp or bury an ice pick in his head. ‘Could
you replace a candidate if one, say, dies?’ Remo asked coldly,
and Farger stopped relaxing. He sat up straight in his chair. ‘No.
I’m the fourth deputy assistant commissioner of elections. I
know the law. There’s no way.’ Remo leaned
back on Farger’s living room couch and propped his feet up on a
plastic tile coffee table. ‘Okay,
then., If you can’t be mayor, you’ll make a great
campaign manager. Who do we support?’ Farger took a
deep breath. Without even thinking, he started off, ‘That’s
where I draw the line, Mr. Remo. I have supported Mayor Gartwright
since he first sought public office; I have no intention now of
deserting his leadership, doubly so since it is now under attack by
an insidious encroachment of the federal. ...’ ‘Do you
want to join your car?’ Remo interrupted. Farger shook
his head. ‘All
right. Then you’re the campaign manager. Now who is our
candidate? Besides Cartwright.’ ‘But...
I’ll lose my job.’ ‘There
are worse things to lose.’ ‘And my
pension rights.’ ‘You
have to live to spend it.’ ‘And my
family. How will they live?’ ‘How
much do you make a year?’ Remo asked. ‘Ten-five.’
Farger said. Remo reached
inside his jacket pocket and pulled out two sheaves of bills. He
tossed them on the coffee table. ‘There’s two years pay.
Now who do we support?’ Farger looked
at the money, at Remo, then at the money again, as his brain made
calculations behind his narrowed eyes. ‘You can’t support
Cartwright?’ ‘No,’
Remo said. ‘Anyone who’d lie about the federal government
the way he did ... who’d deceive an honest, decent man like you
into lying, can’t be returned to office. Who else is running?’ ‘That’s
the problem,’ Farger said. ‘Nobody’s running.’ ‘Come
on,’ Remo said. ‘What is Cartwright, a king or something?
Of course, someone else is running.’ ‘Well,
there are some people,’ said Farger, with an inflection of
distaste that, if recorded, would have ended forever his dreams of
the presidency. ‘Who
are?’ ‘One is
Mrs. Ertle McBargle. She’s head of "Abortion Now".
Then there’s Gladys Tweedy. She’s with the SPCA and wants
to turn the town into an animal compound.’ ‘Forget
them,’ Remo interrupted. ‘No women.’ Farger
shrugged and sighed. ‘And then there’s Mac Polaney.’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘This
is the 47th time he’s run for public office. The last time he
ran for President. When he didn’t win, he said the country
wasn’t ready for him. He’s not wrapped too tight.’ ‘What
does he do?’ ‘A
disabled veteran. Lives on a pension. He lives on a houseboat down
along the bay.’ ‘How
old?’ Farger
shrugged. ‘Fiftyish?’ ‘Honest?’ ‘So
honest he makes people sick. When he came back from service,
everybody was trying to do something for veterans, so somebody got
the bright idea to give him a job with the county. Fanfare, newspaper
publicity and all.’ ‘What
happened?’ ‘He
quit the job three weeks later. He said that nobody gave him any work
to do. If I remember right, he said that wasn’t unusual because
no one seemed to know anything about work, most of all their own. And
in like vein.’ ‘Sounds
like our man,’ Remo said. ‘An honest, decorated war hero
with vast political experience.’ ‘A
poetry-spouting ninny who won’t get a thousand votes.’ ‘How
many will vote next week?’ ‘Forty
thousand or so.’ ‘Then
all we got to do is get 20,000 more for... what’s his name?’ ‘Mac
Polaney.’ ‘Yeah.
Mac Polaney, Mayor Polaney. Mayor Mac Polaney. The people’s
choice.’ ‘The
world’s choice ... nitwit.’ ‘That’s
no way for his campaign manager to talk,’ Remo reminded Farger.
‘Now what are his special issues? What horses are we going to
ride to victory at the polls?’ He had heard a campaign manager
once who sounded just like that. Farger
allowed himself a sneak’s smile. ‘Just a minute,’
he said. ‘See for yourself. I’ve got it right -here.’
He handed Remo a copy of the Miami Beach Journal, already turned to
an inside page. Remo took it
and read: CANDIDATE
CALLS FOR BLACKOUT
OF
POLITICAL CAMPAIGN ACTIVITY It was a
little headline, accompanied by a little story which read: Mac
Polaney, making his 48th try for public office in next week’s
mayoral race, today called upon all the other mayoral candidates to
join him in halting all campaign activity. ‘The
weather has turned nice,’ Polaney said, in what he said would
be his campaign’s only press release, ’and it’s a
great time to go fishing. So I’d like to invite the other
candidates to join me on my houseboat for a fishing trip through the
bay. That way, without politicians yakking around the city, people
can enjoy the nice weather. (The lady candidates can bring
chaperones; Mayor Gartwright can bring his keeper.) ‘Sunshine
is nicer than politicians anyway and fishing is great for the soul.
So what do you say, man and ladies, let’s cast our lines into
God’s great blue waters.’ ‘The
other candidates declined to comment.’ Remo put the
newspaper back onto the table. ‘The perfect man for us,’
he said. ‘The first politician I ever heard who had his finger
on the people’s pulse.’ ‘Now
wait,’ Farger said. ‘That’s not all. Last week, he
called for the abolition of the police department. He said that if
everybody would just promise not to commit any more crimes, we
wouldn’t need police. And then we could cut taxes.’ ‘Good
idea,’ Remo said. ‘And
before that,’ Farger said in growing desperation, ’he
said we ought to abolish the street-cleaning department. If he was
elected mayor, he said, he would assign a different city
councilman each day to duty picking up candy wrappers.’ ‘Obviously
an activist,’ Remo said. ‘Willing to dig in and face up
honestly to the problems confronting us.’ ( ‘No,’
Farger shouted, startling himself by his loudness. Softly, he said,
‘No, no, no, no, no. If I get involved with him, my political
career is dead.’ ‘And if
you don’t, Willard, you’re dead. Now make up your mind.’ There was a
millisecond pause in the living room before Farger said: ‘We’ll
need a campaign headquarters.’ CHAPTER
THIRTEEN MAC POLANEY’s
houseboat was tied up to an old tire, nailed to a rickety dock on a
small rivulet that muddied its way inland from the bay. The
next mayor of Miami Beach was wearing green flowered shorts, a red
mesh undershirt, black sneakers with no socks and a chartreuse
baseball cap. He sat on a folding lawn chair on the deck of the
houseboat, stringing gut leader onto fishhooks, when Remo drove up,
got out of his car and walked to the boat. ‘Mr.
Polaney?’ Remo said. ‘Won’t
do you no good, son,’ Polaney said without looking up. He was,
Remo gauged, in his early fifties, but he had the strong, melodic
voice of a younger man. ‘What
won’t do me any good?’ ‘I
won’t name you secretary of defense. No how, no how. I don’t
even think Miami Beach needs a secretary of defense. Maybe Los
Angeles. I mean, anybody who knows Los Angeles knows that they
could start a war. But not Miami Beach. Nope. So you ain’t got
a chance, son. Might just as well move along.’ As if to
accentuate the point, his shoulders hunched forward and he bent to
his work of hook-rigging with increased fervor. ‘But
how are we going to deal with the Cuban missile threat?’ Remo
said. ‘Only ninety miles away, aimed right down our gullets.’ ‘See.
That’s what I mean,’ Polaney said, standing up and
looking at Remo for the first time. He was a tall lean man, tanned to
a nut brown, with laugh wrinkles around the eyes that threatened to
squeeze them shut. ‘You militarists are all alike. One bomb,
two bombs, four bombs, eight bombs ... where does it end?’ ‘Sixteen
bombs?’ Remo suggested. ‘Sixteen
bombs, thirty-two bombs, sixty-four bombs, one hundred and
twenty-eight bombs, two hundred and fifty-six bombs, five hundred and
twelve bombs... what’s after five hundred and twelve?’ ‘Five
hundred and thirteen?’ Polaney
chuckled. His eyes did shut. Then he snapped them open wide. ‘Pretty
good,’ he said. ‘How would you like to be city
treasurer?’ ‘Well,
I had my heart set on being secretary of defense. But I’ll take
it. As long as I don’t have to do anything dishonest.’ Td never ask
you to,’ Polaney said. ‘Just vote for me. And smile once
in a while. Mark my words bub, the Cuban missile threat will take
care of itself if we just give it a chance. Most threats and crises
do. The only thing you can really do to screw them up is to try to
solve them. If you just let things alone, they’ll work out.’ ‘You
hand out job offers pretty freely,’ Remo said. ‘You
bet your sweet everloving. You’re the three hundred and seventy
first person I’ve offered the treasury to.’ He pulled a
pad out from under a Coca Cola crate on the deck. ‘What’s
your name? Gotta write it down.’ ‘The
name’s Remo. But how can you do that? Promise everybody the
same job?’ ‘Easy,
bub. I ain’t gonna win.’ ‘That
doesn’t sound like a politician talking.’ ‘Politician?
Me? Heck. All I know about politics is that I can’t win.’ ‘Why
not?’ ‘First
of all, I don’t have any support. No one’s gonna vote for
no old fisherman. Second, I don’t have any money. Third, I
can’t get any money because I won’t make any deals with
the people who’ve got money. So I lose. Q.E.D.’ ‘Why do
you keep running?’ ‘I
think it’s a man’s duty to contribute to the governmental
process.’ ‘Most
people do it by voting,’ Remo said. ‘That’s
true, bub. But I don’t vote. At least not in the city. Not for
any of those crooks that run. So, if I can’t vote, I’ve
got to do something else. So I run. And lose.’ Remo,
overwhelmed by the sheer majesty of the logic, paused momentarily
before asking: ‘How’d you like to win?’ ‘Who
would I have to kill?’ ‘Nobody,’
said Remo. ‘That’s my department. All you’d have to
do is be honest. Don’t go on the take. Don’t go shaking
down contractors. Don’t make deals with the mob.’ ‘Hell,
son, that’s easy. All my life, I’ve been not doing those
things.’ ‘Then
you just have to keep doing what comes naturally. You interested?’ Polaney sat
back down on the lawn chair. ‘You’d better come aboard
and tell me what’s on your mind.’ Remo hopped
up onto the deck railing, and then lightly skipped over it. He sat on
the Coke case next to Polaney. ‘Just
this,’ he said. ‘I think you can win. I’ll put up
the money. I’ll get your campaign managers, your workers. I’ll
handle the advertising and the commercials.’ ‘And
what do I do?’ Polaney asked. ‘Do
what you want. Fish a little. Maybe if you feel like it, campaign a
little.’ Remo considered that for a moment, then quickly added,
‘Better yet. We’ll get pros in. See what they say about
whether you should campaign or not.’ ‘AH
right, bub. Your moment for truth telling. What do you get out of
it?’ "The
knowledge that I’ve helped to clean up a great city by putting
an honest man in the mayor’s office.’ ‘That’s
all?’ ‘That’s
all.’ ‘No
sewer contracts?’ Remo shook
his head. ‘You
don’t want to build schools with watered-down cement?’ Remo shook
his head. ‘You
don’t want to name the next police commissioner?’ ‘Not
even the next city treasurer,’ Remo said. ‘Those
are all the right answers, boy. Cause if you said yes to any of them,
you were like to go for an unscheduled swim in the river.’ ‘I
don’t swim,’ Remo said. ‘And I
don’t play ball.’ ‘Good.
Then we understand each other.’ Polaney put
down the hooks he held in his gnarled leathered hands and fixed Remo
with his pale blue eyes. ‘If you got all this money you say you
got, how come Cartwright let you get away? He watches out for rich
fish like you.’ ‘I
couldn’t support Gartwright,’ Remo said. ‘Not after
all this nonsense about League papers and stuff. Not after those
cheap attacks on the federal government.’ Polaney’s
eyes narrowed as he looked at Remo, then wiped his forehead with the
back of his wrist. ‘You don’t look like a nut,’ he
said. ‘I’m
not. Just somebody who loves America.’ . Polaney
sprang to his feet and slapped his hat over his heart in a civilian
salute. Then Remo saw the small nickel-and-dime store flag on the
rear of the boat. He wondered if he should chance a laugh. Polaney
reached down a strong hand and yanked Remo to his feet, ‘Salute,
boy. It’s good for the soul.’ Remo
put his hand over his heart and stood there, side by side with
Polaney. Here we are, he thought, the two biggest lunatics in the
Western Hemisphere. One lunatic wants to be mayor, and the other
lunatic wants to make the first lunatic get his wish. Finally,
Polaney clapped his hand to his side, before putting his hat on. ‘I put
my life in your hands,’ Polaney said. ‘What do you want
me to do?’ ‘Go
fishing,’ Remo said. ‘See if you can come up with
anything not too greasy. I can’t eat oily fish. And I’ll
be in touch.’ ‘Son,’
Polaney said. ‘You’re a flake.’ ‘Yeah.
Ain’t it the truth. Now let’s go win an election.; And
don’t forget. No oily fish.’ ‘How
about that for a campaign slogan?’ ‘I
don’t think it’s got enough crowd appeal,’ Remo
said. ‘Anyway, I’ve got an idea for an advertising
agency. Let them pick a slogan.’ He hopped
down to the dock and headed back for his car. Halfway there, he
turned. ‘Hey, Mac,’ he called. ‘What made you think
I wanted to be secretary of defense?’ Polaney was
already back at work on his hooks. Without looking up, he said: ‘I
saw you get out of the car. You look like a man who might start a
war.’ He turned to Remo. ‘Right?1 ‘I’d
rather finish one,’ Remo said. CHAPTER
FOURTEEN ‘WALKER,
Handleman and Baser.’ ‘Who’s
in charge there?’ Remo asked the telephone voice. ‘What
does it have reference to?’ the female voice answered, over the
1,500 miles of distance between Florida and New York. ‘It has
reference to $100,000 for a week’s work,’ Remo said,
hoping the girl was impressed. ‘Just a
moment, sir.’ She was. So was Mr.
Handleman to whom Remo talked next. Equally impressed was Mr. Daser
to whom Remo talked after that. They were so impressed they were
going to try to reach Dorothy. ‘Dorothy?’ ‘Yes.
The Walker of Walker, Handleman and Daser.’ Remo nodded
to himself, remembering the blonde of the New York Times. ‘Just
walk over to her office and tell her you’ve got a fish on a
line.’ ‘I’m
sorry, Mr. ... er ... you didn’t give your name.’ ‘That’s
right, I didn’t give my name.’ ‘She’s
on vacation.’ ‘Where?’
Remo asked. ‘She’s
visiting her father in Miami Beach.’ ‘That’s
where I am,’ Remo said. ‘Where can I reach her? ‘I’ll
have her call you,’ Mr. Baser said. ‘Try to
do it fast,’ Remo said and gave Baser the number where he could
be reached. ‘The name is Remo,’ he said. Ten minutes
later the telephone rang again. ‘This
is Borothy Walker,’ a cultured Manhattan voice said. Td like you
to run a campaign for me.’ ‘Oh?
What kind of a campaign.’ ‘A
political campaign.’ ‘I’m
sorry. We don’t do political campaigns.’ ‘Look.
I’m talking about $100,000 for a week’s work.’ ‘Mr.
Remo, I’d like to help, but we don’t do political
campaigns.’ ‘You
can sell air conditioners that don’t work and paper towels with
the absorbency of sandpaper and cigarettes that are made out of
sawdust and you can’t elect a mayor for Miami Beach?’ There was a
pause. Then, ‘I didn’t say we couldn’t, Mr. Remo. I
said, we don’t. Who is your candidate by the way?’ ‘A
gentleman named Mac Polaney,’ Remo said. Thinking of the gaunt
fisherman on his homemade houseboat, Remo said: ‘A courtly,
cultured gentleman. A decorated veteran of World War II, with a
reputation for honesty, broad political experience. A PR man’s
dream.’ ‘You
make it sound very inviting, Mr. Remo, Let me call you back. But
don’t get your hopes up. We don’t handle political
campaigns.’ ‘You’ll
handle this one,’ said Remo, confidently, ’particularly
if you meet our candidate. To meet him is to love him.’ ‘And
he’s a politician?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Sounds
unbelievable.’ ‘He’s
an unbelievable man,’ Remo said. Tm beginning
to think so are you. You’ve almost made me interested.’ ‘Call
me back soon,’ Remo said. Remo hung up
and sprawled out on his couch to await the return call. Less than two
miles away, Dorothy Walker hung up the telephone, left her luxurious
cabin and walked to the bow of the ship where her father, Marshal
Dworshansky, sat in the sun. He was very
interested in her caller, as she had known he would be. ‘He
offered you one hundred thousand dollars?’ ‘Yes.
But I stalled him.’ Marshal
Dworshansky clapped his hands in glee. ‘Take it,’ he
said. ‘This is the man we’ve been waiting for, and now he
is delivering himself right into our hands. Marvelous,’ he
chortled. ‘Marvelous. Take it.’ ‘But
how will I handle it?’ his daughter said. ‘One week to do
a political campaign?’ ‘My
dear, I know you believe in the power of advertising and public
opinion. However, in this case, the only opinion that counts is mine.
The campaign is over. Nothing can stop Mayor Cartwright from winning.
So do whatever you want for this Mr. Remo.’ ‘Why
bother if he’s no threat?’ ‘Because
he is the enemy, and it is good to know what the enemy plans.’ Minutes
later, Dorothy Walker was back in her stateroom calling Remo. ‘We’ve
decided-----,’ she began. ‘We?’ ‘I’ve
decided it’s about time that Walker, Handleman and Daser moved
into politics. This will be a great campaign in which to practice our
new theories of communication. The idea of maximum message carrying
to maximum quanta of people at....’ ‘At
maximum cost,’ Remo interrupted. ‘Look, you and I have
gotten along fine by talking English. Let’s continue that way,
all right? You just do whatever it is you people do, and don’t
tell me about it.’ ‘As you
wish,’ Dorothy Walker said, and then, because she was
interested in her father’s enemy, she added: ‘Perhaps we
could discuss the financial arrangements tonight. At dinner?’ ‘Okay,’
Remo said. Tick someplace where you have credit. You’re
supposed to wine and dine us wealthy eccentric clients, aren’t
you?’ ‘De
rigeur’ she said. Remo had had
enough experience with newspaper photos not to expect too much of
Dorothy Walker in person. He would not have been shocked if she had
shown up looking like Maria Ouspenskay a, fresh off a gypsy wagon. But he was
not prepared for what showed up at the Ritz Hotel, where he waited in
the massive dining room, sipping water. First came
Dorothy Walker, stunningly blonde and tan, a fortyish beauty who
looked twenty. And with her was a twenty-year-old blonde carbon copy
who seemed to have the look of having tantalized men for forty years.
They wore matching acqua cocktail dresses. A sound meter
could have charted their progress along the aisle of the dining room,
because each table stilled in succession as they walked by, following
the matre d’, whose show of attention let it be known
that they were very important people indeed. ‘Mister
Remo?’ the older woman asked when she arrived at his table. Remo stood
up. ‘Miss Walker?’ ‘Mrs.
Walker. And this is my daughter, Teri.? The waiter
seated them, and Dorothy Walker said, ‘Well, what do you want
us to do for all that money?’ ‘If I
told you, you’d have me arrested.’ ‘One
never knows,’ she laughed. ‘One never knows.’ They ate
baked stuffed clams, sizzling in melted butter, and while Remo toyed
with a piece of celery, he and Mrs. Walker reached agreement on the
deal. One hundred thousand dollars for one week’s work, with
Remo to pay all additional costs, including newspaper space, air
time, and production costs. ‘Should
I have my lawyer draw a contract?’ Mrs. Walker asked. ‘I deal
in handshakes,’ Remo said. ‘I trust you.’ ‘I
trust you too, but even though we’ve never done political
campaigns, I know something about them.’ Dorothy Walker said.
‘All payment must be in advance because, God forbid, a
candidate should lose - they never pay.’ ‘That’s
called incentive to make sure your candidates never lose,’ Remo
said. He moved a hand toward his inside jacket pocket. ‘You
want the money now?’ ‘No
hurry. Tomorrow will be fine.’ The women ate
escarole salad with Roquefort dressing, as Remo munched on a radish. ‘Ten
will handle the campaign for you,’ Dorothy Walker said.
‘Because of my position, I can’t take it publicly. But
having Ten means that you’ll have me.’ Her eyes smiled at
Remo. He wondered if she had meant anything more than business by
that sentence. ‘You understand?’ ‘Of
course,’ Remo said. ‘You want to be able to take credit
if we win, but you don’t want to be tagged personally with a
loser.’ Mrs. Walker
laughed. ‘That’s right. By the way, I’ve checked
around. There is no way your Mr. Mac Polaney can win. He is regarded
as the quintessential nut in a town of quintessential nuts.’ ‘There
are more things happening in heaven and earth than are dreamed of on
Madison Avenue,’ Remo said. The women had
veal cordon bleu and Remo had rice, which Mrs. Walker
pretended not to notice but which Teri Walker found exciting. ‘Why
just rice?’ she said. ‘Zen,’
Remo said. ‘Wow.’ ‘We
want total artistic control,’ Dorothy Walker said. ‘We
won’t work any other way.’ ‘That
means you decide on commercials and advertising and slogans?’
Remo asked. She nodded. ‘Well,
of course,’ Remo said. ‘Why would I hire you if I wanted
to do things myself?’ ‘You’d
be surprised at how many clients don’t feel that way,’
Dorothy Walker said. During
coffee, Mrs. Walker excused herself for the ladies’ room. Remo watched
Teri Walker closely as she drank her coffee, her fine, tanned young
muscles moving sleekly as she moved slightly in her chair. She bubbled
at him with conversation about his goals for urban government, the
nature of Mac Polaney, and about something which she called ’the
handle we have to get on this campaign.’ ‘Your
first campaign?’ Remo asked. She nodded. ‘Mine
too,’ he said. ‘We’ll learn together.’ She finished
the last sip of her coffee and asked Remo, ‘By the way, why’d
you pick us?’ ‘Somebody
told me you and your mother had great boobs. I figured I might as
well enjoy looking at the campaign staff.’ Teri Walker
laughed, loud and full throated. ‘Grandpa
will just love you,’ she said. Willard
Farger had rented a suite of six connecting rooms in the Maya Motel.
He called it campaign headquarters and staffed it with three girls
who looked as if they had last campaigned in a Las Vegas chorus line. "They’re
secretaries,’ Farger insisted to Remo. ‘Somebody’s
got to type and answer phones and things.’ ‘I
see,’ Remo said. ‘Where are the phones and typewriters
and things?’ Farger
snapped his fingers. ‘I knew there was something I forgot.’
> Remo beckoned
Farger with a crooked finger and led him into one of the back rooms.
He locked the door behind them. ‘Sit down,’ he growled
and tossed Farger into a chair. Remo sat on the bed, facing him. ‘I
don’t think we understand each other,’ Remo said. ‘I’m
in this campaign to win. Not come close. Not make a good try. But
win. And you seem to be approaching it with the idea of "take
the money and run".’ The statement
was an accusation and Farger answered it. ‘What
you don’t understand,’ he said gingerly, feeling his way
around the edges of Remo’s annoyance, ’is that we can’t
win.’ ‘Why
not? Everybody keeps telling me we can’t win. Will somebody
please tell me why?’ ‘Because
we’ve got nothing going for us. Money, candidate, support. We
got nothing.’ ‘What
kind of money do you need for a one-week campaign?’ ‘For
printing, stunts, election day expenses, sound trucks, gimmicks, we’d
need $100,000,’ Farger said. ‘All
right,’ Remo said. ‘You’ve got $200,000. Cash. And
now I don’t want any more crap about you couldn’t do this
or you couldn’t afford that, or if you had more money, things
would be different. Does that solve your problem?’ Farger
blinked. He was already thinking as a lifetime in politics had
trained him to think: how much of that loose campaign money he could
skim off for himself. It took a few seconds before he could again
focus his mind on the major problem. ‘We
need exposure,’ he said. ‘Advertising, commercials,
brochures, signs for telephone poles. The whole thing.’ ‘You
got it,’ Remo said. ‘I hired the best ad agency in the
world. Their girl will be here this afternoon. What else?’ Farger
sighed. His native goodness vied with his greed. Finally the goodness
won out and he decided to tell the truth, even if Remo did pack up
his wallet and call off the whole campaign. ‘No
matter what you spend or what we do, we can’t win. There’s
three things important in a campaign: the candidate, the candidate
and the candidate. And we don’t have one.’ ‘Hogwash,’
Remo said. ‘Every campaign I ever saw, there were three
important things all right: the money, the money and the money. And
we’ve got the money and I’m giving you a blank check to
use it. Just use it right.’ ‘But
recognition ... respectability?’ ‘We get
that the way politicians always do. Buy the news guys.’ ‘But we
don’t have any support,’ Farger protested. ‘What
about people? Workers? Endorsements? We don’t have any. We’ve
got you and me and those three chippies out there, and if I didn’t
give them their 300 bucks each in advance, they wouldn’t be
there either. I’m not even sure we’ve got Mac Polaney,
because he’s such a gone job, he’s liable to vote for
somebody else himself.’ ‘Don’t
worry about that,’ Remo said. ‘Mac doesn’t vote.’ Farger
groaned. ‘What
people do we need?’ Remo asked, ‘Leaders.
Union people. Politicians.’ ‘Give
me a list.’ ‘It
won’t help to talk to them. All of them are with Cartwright.’ ‘You
just give me a list. I can be very persuasive.’ Remo stayed
in headquarters, long enough to assure himself that Farger was
seriously now tracking down phones and typewriters and copying
equipment. An hour later
when Teri Walker arrived, Farger gave Remo the list of names, sent
one of the girls to get Mac Polaney, and closeted himself with Teri
to discuss the campaign, which now had only six days left to run. CHAPTER
FIFTEEN MARSHAL
DWORSHANSKY watched the ice cubes drift gently in his glass,
duplicating the smooth side to side movement of his yacht in the
water, as he listened to the whining of Mayor Tim Cartwright. ‘Farger
left us,’ the mayor had just said. ‘That ingrate bastard.
After all I did for him.’ ‘What
exactly did you do for him?’ the marshal asked, raising his
glass to his lips, and his heavy shoulders bunched up into knots of
muscle under his lime colored silk shirt. ‘What
did I do? I didn’t fire his dumb ass. For years, I’ve
left him down there in the elections office, instead of kicking him
out in the street.’ ‘And
you did it, of course, out of the goodness of your heart?’
Dworshansky said. ‘Damn
near,’ Cartwright said. ‘Although he has been a loyal
slob. The perfect guy to give shit jobs to.’ ‘Aha,’
Dworshansky said. ‘You gave him a job; he gave you his support.
An even trade, I would say. And now he has voided the contract.
Perhaps he has gotten a better offer.’ ‘Yeah,
but campaign manager for Mac Polaney? What kind of offer is that?’
He paused, then chuckled to himself. ‘He probably thinks
Polaney’s going to make him city treasurer. Polaney offers that
job to everybody.’ He chuckled again. ‘Mac Polaney,
running for mayor.’ He laughed aloud as if he found the thought
unbearably funny. ‘Mac Polaney.’ ‘You
find him amusing?’ Dworshansky asked. ‘Marshal,
there’s an old rule in politics that goes: you can’t beat
somebody with nobody. Mac Polaney’s nobody.’ ‘He has
a very good advertising agency,’ the marshal said softly. Cartwright
laughed some more. ‘What kind of New York lunatic would take on
Polaney’s campaign?’ he chortled. ‘My
daughter’s advertising agency,’ Dworshansky said. ‘And
they are very good. Probably the best in the world.’ Cartwright
found that reason enough to stop laughing. ‘It is
about time you have restrained your mirth,’ Dworshansky said.
‘Because this is a very serious matter.’ He sipped his
vodka delicately, and glanced out the cabin window as he began to
speak. ‘We
have kept you out of jail with a smoke screen. To set it up, we had
to dispose of that fool from the bank, and as I remember, you did not
laugh then. ‘I
warned you that the government would not sit quietly by and allow
this to happen; that their secret organization would fight back. We
tied Farger to a post as a sacrificial lamb, and you did not laugh
then. They frightened Farger as earlier they had frightened Mr.
Moskowitz, whom it was necessary to un-frighten.’ Dworshansky
drained his glass in an angry gulp. ‘Now Farger means nothing
to me, but he is the first chip in our defenses. And if our enemies
choose to use this Mister Polaney as the instrument of their
retaliation, then I would suggest sincerely that you stop laughing at
Mr. Polaney, because it may not be long before he is dancing on your
grave.’ Cartwright
looked hurt, and Dworshansky put down the glass, rose, and clapped
the mayor on the shoulder. ‘Come,’
he said. ‘Do not despair. We have infiltrated their campaign
organization. We will guarantee that Mr. Polaney does not win the
election. And mostly we will just sit and wait, to see what our
enemies do.’ Cartwright
looked up at Dworshansky and retreated behind his politician’s
mask. ‘You’re a real friend,’ he said. ‘I
can’t tell you of the faith I have in you. Yes sir, a real
friend.’ ‘Well,
that and more,’ said Dworshansky. ‘I am a real partner as
you will find after you win. Of course, I know you would not forget
that, just as you would not forget that I now have Bullingsworth’s
notebook.’ Cartwright
looked hurt. ‘Marshal, I won’t forget your help. Really!’ ‘I know
you won’t,’ Dworshansky said. ‘Now, in the
meantime, I suggest that you campaign hard and leave Mr. Polaney and
this Remo friend of his to me. But do not underestimate them. That
way lies the boneyard.’ CHAPTER
SIXTEEN THE black and
white killer whale swam around the large, kidney-shaped pool, slowly
at first, then faster and faster as he built up speed and then, after
four rounds of the pool, he jumped straight up, high out of the
water, even his tail slapping only air, and with his tooth-lined
mouth squeezed the rubber bulb on a horn hung high above the water’s
surface. It honked.
The honk hung in the air for a split second and then was overwhelmed
by the crashing splash as the whale’s tonnage slammed down flat
against the water. As he slid
back down into the pool’s depths, children laughed and the
sun-baked crowd applauded. Chiun sat with Remo in a front row seat
and said, ‘Barbarians.’ ‘What
now?’ Remo asked. ‘Why is
it you white men think it somehow charming to take an animal, a
creature of nature, put a ribbon on him and have him beep a horn? Is
it cute?’ ‘Who’s
it hurt?’ Remo said. ‘The whale doesn’t even seem
to mind.’ Chiun turned
to him, away from the pool where a pretty blonde was now riding
around on the back of the whale. ‘You are, as usual, wrong. The
spectacle hurts the whale because he is no longer free. And it hurts
you because - senselessly, without considering the consequences - you
have deprived that animal of his freedom. It makes you less a man,
because you no longer think and feel as a man. ‘And
look at these children. What are they learning here? How they too can
one day grow up and imprison nature’s beasts? Barbarians.’ ‘As
opposed to?’ ‘As
opposed to anyone who does not tamper with the order of the universe.
As opposed to anyone who appreciates the virtues of the free life.’ ‘Strange
to hear an assassin sing the praises of life.’ Chiun
exploded in a babble of excited Korean, then said, ‘Death is a
part of life. It has always been thus. But it required you white men
to discover something worse than death. The cage.’ ‘You
don’t have zoos in Sinanju?’ ‘Yes,’
Chiun said evenly. ‘In them we keep Chinese and white men.’ ‘AH
right,’ Remo said, ’forget it. I just thought you’d
like to see the aquarium. It’s the most famous in the world.’ ‘After
lunch, may we visit the Black Hole of Calcutta?’ ‘Will
it improve your disposition?’ ‘The
Master of Sinanju spreads light wherever he walks.’ ‘Right
on, Chiun, right on.’ Remo was surprised at Chiun’s
display of ill humor. Since they had arrived in Miami Beach, the old
man had been in great spirits. He talked to wealthy old Jewish ladies
about the transgressions of their children. Mrs. Goldberg, he had
breathlessly told Remo, had a son who had not visited her in three
years. And Mrs. Hirshberg’s son did not even telephone. Mrs.
Kantrowitz had three sons, all doctors, and when her cat caught cold,
not one of them would take the case, even though she would have
insisted upon paying, so as not to be a burden. Mrs. Milstein
was the woman whose son was the television writer, and Chiun
marvelled that she bore up so bravely under the disgrace of a son who
wrote Chinese comedies. She did not even acknowledge disgrace, Chiun
said, but walked with her head high. A sterling woman, he had said. For his part,
Chiun must also have talked about his son who would not carry the
luggage and who embarrassed him at every turn. What he said, Remo
could only guess by the fact that occasionally walking through the
halls of their apartment, he was hissed by old ladies entering their
own apartments. Chiun talked, too, of his desire to go back to the
old country and see the village where he had been born. He would, he
said, gladly have retired, but he did not feel that his son was yet
able to carry on his work. Your son, my son, her son, their son.
Chiun and the ladies talked. If any of them had ever given birth to a
daughter, it was not mentioned. In just
a few days, Chiun seemed to have met half the Jewish Momma population
of Miami Beach. He also seemed to be happy and Remo expected him to
be happy for the chance to see the aquarium. He had not expected
abuse. Remo
shrugged, took a sheet of yellow lined paper from his shirt pocket,
and looked at it again. ‘C’mon,
Chiun,’ he said. ‘Our man works at the shark run.’ The shark run
was a half-mile-long oval of shallow water. In a half-dozen places,
the narrow channel broadened out into deep pools and jagged rock
inlets. The entire run was bordered by a steel fence, over which
spectators could lean and look down at the sharks swimming by. There
were hundreds of sharks in the run, of all sizes and shapes and
types. With the maniacal single-mindedness of the deadly, they
ignored the wide spots in the run, they ignored the deep pools.
Instead, they just swam continuously around, oval after oval, mile
after mile, a ceaseless search for something to kill. The only
break in their routine was feeding time, when the fishes and the red
meat thrown into the water drove them into frenzies that turned the
water white and bubbly as they fought for their meals, not with their
jaws and teeth, but like basketball players fighting for a rebound,
with their bodies and their stealth. The first
name on Remo’s list was Damiano Meola, head of the county’s
government employees union. Meola and the two thousand employees of
the union already had backed Mayor Cartwright for reelection. Chiun and
Remo found him in a sheltered, shaded area in the back of the shark
run, a small section sealed off from the public by a locked gate.
Meola was a big man, his burly body pulling at the seams of his light
blue workmen’s uniform. He stood at the rail of the shark run,
large buckets of dead fish at his feet, dropping them one at a time
into the water, and laughing as the water churned into froth just
below him. He talked to
himself as he fed his charges. ‘Go get it. That’s right
sweetheart. Take it away from him. Watch out for Mako. Careful. Don’t
let that mother get it. Careful. Ahh, what’s the matter?
Hungry? Starve, you vicious bastard!’ He reached
down to pick up another fish, and then stopped, as he saw behind him
Remo and Chiun’s feet. He turned around quickly, an angry
expression on his broad, flat-featured face. ‘Hey, wotsamatta,
witcha, this part ain’t open to the public. G’wan,
scram.’ ‘Mister
Meola?’ Remo asked politely. ‘Yeah.
Watcha want?’ ‘We’ve
come to talk to you.’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘We
represent Mr. Mac Polaney.’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘And we
want you to support him.’ Meola laughed
in their faces. ‘Mac Polaney!’ he said sputtering. ‘Hah.
That’s a laugh.’ Remo waited
quietly until he had finished laughing. Chiun stood, his hands folded
inside the sleeves of his thin yellow robe, his eyes looking skyward. Finally, when
Meola had quieted down, Remo said, ‘We’re not joking.’ ‘Well,
for people who ain’t joking, you sure tell funny stories. Mac
Polaney. G’wan get out of here.’ He turned away, picked
up a dead fish by its tail and held it out over the water. Remo stepped
to one side of him and Chiun to the other. ‘Mind
telling me why you’re against Polaney?’ Remo asked. ‘Because
my members endorsed Cartwright.’ ‘But
your members do what you tell them. Why not Polaney?’ Remo
asked. ‘Because
he’s a screwball is why.’ ‘Two
thousand dollars,’ Remo said. Meola stopped
and shook his head. He dropped the fish into the water and the sharks
attacked. ‘Five
thousand dollars,’ Remo said. Meola shook
his head again. ‘Name a
price,’ Remo said. Meola,
thinking of his brother-in-law, who was a stockbroker handling all
the assets of the employee’s pension fund and splitting his
earnings with Meola, said, ‘No price, never, nothing. Now get
out of here because you’re starting to annoy me.’ ‘Ever
see a man bitten by a shark?’ Remo asked. ‘Watch this,’
Meola said. ‘It drives them crazy.’ He took a fish from
the bucket and with a knife he carried in a sheath on his side, slit
its belly open. He dropped the gutted carcass into the water. Instant
explosion as the sharks went berserk. ‘It
must be the smell or something,’ Meola said. ‘But gut a
fish and they go wild.’ ‘How
long do you think a man could last in there?’ Meola dropped in
another fish. ‘A man with gutted fish in his pockets and
cuffs?’ Remo said. ‘Hey.
You threatening me? ‘Cause if you are, I’m gonna call the
cops. ‘Cause I don’t like you. You and your dinko
friend.’ He opened his
mouth to say something else, but he could not get a word out because
a fish was jammed deep into his mouth by Chiun. Meola gagged and
tried to spit, but Chiun slapped the fish deeper. Meola reached up to
pull it out, and Remo pinched both his wrists. Meola found he could
not raise his arms. ‘Time
to test your theory, Meola,’ said Remo. He slipped the knife
from Meola’s sheath, and began to slit the gullets of fish from
the bucket. He slipped one into Meola’s right trouser pocket
and another into his left. A third he stuck inside Meola’s
shirt, and two more went into Meola’s cuffs. Meola moaned
through the fish gag. He shook his head from side to side, his eyes
widened in fear. Then he tried to run, but the two men stopped him.
Somehow, they stopped him with just one finger each. And then
Meola found himself being lifted by the shirt collar and held out
over the deep pool. He looked down and between his suspended feet, he
could see the sleek brown and gray bodies of the sharks, slipping
back and forth noiselessly through the water, searching. He heard the
white man talking. ‘Mac Polaney is a decorated veteran. He has
broad political experience. He is incorruptible. He is just the man
our city needs to lead it through these perilous times. Don’t
you agree?’ Meola failed
to nod. He felt his
body dip and then water slipped into his shoes, before he was yanked
upward again, a foot above the water. ‘All
our local government employees want is decent government, a chance to
do an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. Isn’t
that right?’ Meola nodded
and as reward felt himself lifted a few inches higher. ‘Upon
reconsideration, as president of the employees’ union, you feel
that Mac Polaney’s election will be a great step forward for
the people of Miami Beach. Do I quote you accurately?’ Meola nodded
frantically. How long could this guy hold him out over the water,
before his arm tired and Meola was dropped? Meola nodded.
Again and again. He felt
himself being lifted effortlessly, swooped up over the railing and
placed back on the ground. The white man
pulled the fish from his mouth. ‘I’m
glad you saw it our way,’ he said. ‘Mac Polaney’ll
be glad to have you aboard.’ Remo reached
into his pocket and took out a stack of papers that Farger had
prepared. He leafed through them, found the one he wanted and
replaced the others. Remo glanced
over it, then nodded to himself, ‘Sign here,’ he said.
‘It’s an endorsement. You want to read it?’ Meola shook
his head. His voice came back, but his throat still hurt. ‘No,
no,’ he said. ‘Anything you want.’ ‘Good,’
Remo said. He took Meola’s pen, clicked it and handed it to
him. ‘Sign.’ Meola tried
to reach for the pen, but his arms would not move. ‘My arms,’
he said. ‘Oh,’
Remo said. He reached forward with his right hand and pressed Meola’s
wrists, 6rst the right, then the left. Immediately, Meola felt
control and strength moving back into his arms. ‘Now
sign,’ said Remo, handing forward the paper and pencil. Meola signed
and handed them back. Remo checked the signature, folded the paper
and put it in his pocket. He replaced the pen in the breast pocket of
Meola’s blue work shirt. Remo met his
eyes. ‘All right,’ he said, ‘ now I know what
you’re thinking. You’re thinking that as soon as we
leave, you’re going to call the cops. Or else you’re
going to retract the endorsement, and call it a hoax. That’s
what you’re thinking. But that’s not what you’re
going to do. Because if you do, we’re going to come back and
feed you to your playmates. Count on it. That’s solid gold.
Chiun.’ Remo nodded
to Chiun and the old man leaned forward and picked up one of the fish
from the pail. As Meola watched, the delicate Oriental tossed the
foot-long fish into the air. As it came down, his hands flashed
through the air, glinting in the sun like golden knife blades. When
the fish hit the ground, it had been cut into three pieces by Chiun’s
hands. Meola looked
at the fish, then at the old man, who had again folded his hands
inside the sleeves of his robe. ‘We’ll
dismember you like that fish,’ Remo said. ‘Piece by
piece, and then we’ll feed the pieces to the sharks.’ He put a hand
on Meola’s shoulder and for the first time, Meola noticed how
thick the man’s wrists were. ‘Are you afraid?’ Remo
asked. Meola nodded. ‘Good,’
Remo said. ‘You’d better be scared to death.’ He took his
hand from Meola’s shoulder, took a piece of yellow paper from
his shirt pocket and looked at it. ‘Gome on, Chiun,’ he
said, ’we’ve got more visits to make.’ They turned
to walk away, but Remo stopped and turned back to Meola. Tm glad you
saw it our way. Rest easy. You’re doing the best thing for the
city. Cross us and there won’t be enough left of you to get a
hook into.’ Remo turned,
put his arm around Chiun’s shoulder and walked away. Meola
heard him say, ‘See, Chiun. Reasonable minds can always reach
political compromises.’ Meola looked
at them, then down at the fish which the Oriental’s flying
hands had slashed into bits. Why not Mac
Polaney? he thought. After all, he was a decorated veteran with broad
political experience; he was incorruptible; and he had some kind
of campaign volunteers. CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN LT. CHESTER
GRABNICK, head of the Uniformed Officers Association, was an honest
cop. In seventeen
years as a policeman, he had not taken money from gamblers, he had
not protected narcotics dealers, he had not indulged in brazen
brutality. There had
been just one tiny little mistake. ‘When
you were a rookie patrolman, you used to steal reports from the
detective bureau and turn them over to a defense lawyer.’ The man who
brought him this news was in his thirties and he had a hard face. He
tried to turn the face softer now as he said, ‘It would be a
shame to ruin a good career for that sort of youthful indiscretion.’ Grabnick was
silent, thinking. Finally, he
said, ‘You got the wrong guy.’ ‘No, I
haven’t,’ his visitor said. ‘I have an affidavit
from the lawyer.’ Chester
Grabnick, who was the lawyer’s best friend and who bowled with
him every Wednesday night, said, ‘You do? How could you get a
thing like that?’ ‘It was
easy,’ the man said. ‘I broke his arm.’ Without
much more discussion, Lt. Chester Grabnick decided that the election
of Mac Polaney would be the best thing that could ever happen to
Miami Beach and its loyal, dedicated force of men in blue. ‘Will
your membership go along?’ his visitor asked. ‘They’ll
go along,’ Grabnick said, sure of himself. His success had been
built upon the reputation of ‘Honest Chet.’ So long as
nothing happened to damage that reputation, he could get the
uniformed officers to back anybody he wanted. ‘Good,’
his visitor said. ‘Make sure you do.’ In the car
outside Grabnick’s home, Remo slid behind the wheel and said to
Chiun, ‘All right. We got him. That’s two. A good day’s
work.’ ‘I do
not understand,’ Chiun said. ‘Will people vote for your
candidate because this policeman tell them to?’ ‘That’s
the theory,’ Remo said. ‘Get the leaders and the peasants
fall in line." ‘But
one can never tell about peasants,’ Chiun said. ‘That is
why they are peasants. I remember once....’ Remo sighed.
Another history lesson. CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN ‘HERE‘S
your first two,’ said Remo, tossing the endorsements on
Farger’s desk at campaign headquarters. Farger picked
up the papers, read them quickly, double-checked the signatures, then
looked up at Remo with renewed respect. ‘How’d
you do it?’ he asked. ‘We
reasoned together. Teri still here?’ ‘Inside,’
Farger said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. ‘Busy as a
beaver.’ Teri Walker
sat behind a large metal desk, its top festooned with pads, pencils,
paper, sketches. She wore large, owlish dark-framed eyeglasses,
pushed up on top of her head and she smiled at Remo as he came in the
door. ‘I met
the candidate,’ she said. ‘You know we’re going to
win?’ ‘All
that confidence from one meeting with the candidate? What did he
say?’ ‘He
said I had beautiful ears.’ ‘Ears?’ ‘Ears.
And he said if I’d run away on his houseboat with him, he’d
retire from public life and spend the rest of his days showering my
feet with catfish.’ ‘That’s
truly touching,’ Remo said. ‘And that proves we’re
going to win the election?’ ‘Don’t
you see, Remo, I believed him. That’s what we’ve got with
our candidate. Believability. And he’s….well, nice is
the only word for it. So our advertising is going to be all about
that - a nice, sweet guy that you can believe. Studies show that in
politics, the voter, taken as a group overall and not subdivided into
its minor ethnic or socio-economic components, well, that average
voter wants ...’ ‘Sure,’
Remo said. ‘When do we start our commercials, our advertising?’ ‘Well,
we don’t have time to do anything really fancy with either. But
mother is flying down two staff people. We’re going to go with
just one TV commercial for the whole campaign. That starts tomorrow.
Absolute saturation. The newspaper ads start the next day. How much
do we have to spend, by the way?’ Remo said,
‘I’ll send over a couple of hundred thousand. When that’s
done, ask for more.’ She looked at
him quizzically but approvingly. ‘When you go, you go,’
she said. ‘Anything
for honest government,’ Remo said. ‘Is it
your money?’ she asked - just a little too casually, Remo
noted. ‘Of
course,’ Remo said. ‘Who’d give me money to spend
on Mac Polaney? Only somebody as nutty as Mac himself and people that
nutty aren’t rich, or if they are, all their money is tied up
in hospitals for homeless cats.’ ‘There’s
a logical nonsequitur there, but I can’t figure it out,’
she said. ‘Don’t
try. If I were logical, do you think I’d be financing Mac’s
campaign? Where is the next mayor, by the way?’ ‘Oh, he
went back to his boat. He’s repairing some rods for the annual
catfish contest next week.’ ‘Next
week? It’s not on election day, is it?’ ‘I
don’t think so. Why?’ ‘If it
is, Mac might not even get his own vote,’ Remo said. She smiled,
slightly patronizing, as if she were able to read depths in Mac
Polaney’s soul that eluded a crass beast like Remo, and went
back to work. Remo watched her for awhile, grew bored and left. Farger still
sat at the front desk, but he had an unhappy look on his face. Remo
did not know whether that was because the three so-called secretaries
had left for the day, or because tragedy had befallen the campaign.
So he asked. ‘We got
trouble,’ Farger said. ‘The paper won’t use these
endorsements.’ ‘Why
not?’ Farger ran
his fingertips together indicating money. ‘The same reason the
paper only used one line about me becoming Polaney’s campaign
manager. Me . .. who is front page news around the country. It’s
the political reporter. Tom Burns. He’s on Cartwright’s
pad. His wife’s a no-show crossing guard and he’s a
no-show truant officer.’ ‘No-show?’ ‘Yeah.
He gets the paycheck but doesn’t show up for work. Anyway, the
little bastard told me the endorsements weren’t news. He
forgets that last week, when the same people endorsed Cartwright,
they were front page news.’ He slammed a pencil down on his
desk. ‘If we can’t get the endorsements in, how are we
going to create any movement?’ ‘We’ll
get them in,’ Remo said. He found Tom
Burns in a cocktail lounge around the corner from the editorial
officers of the Miami Beach Dispatch, the city’s biggest
and most influential paper. Burns was a
little man with graying hair that he touched up to keep black. Thick
horn-rimmed glasses covered his vague-looking eyes. He wore cuffed
pants and a jacket with frayed sleeves. Although the bar was crowded,
he sat by himself, and Remo knew enough about reporters to know that
if Burns had been even bearable, he would have had a crowd of
publicity-seekers around him, particularly in the middle of an
election campaign. So much for
Burns’ personality. He was
drinking Harvey’s Bristol Cream on the rocks. He couldn’t
drink either. Remo slid
into a stool at his left, and said politely, ‘Mr. Burns?’ ‘Yes,’
Burns said, coldly, distantly. ‘My
name is Harold Smith. I’m with a special Senate Committee
investigating coercion of the free press. Do you have a minute?’ ‘I
suppose so,’ Burns said laconically, trying to mask his
pleasure about being asked for his opinion on encroachment on news
gathering, the right of a reporter to conceal his sources, the
necessity of protecting the First Amendment. But how could he say all
that in a minute? He
turned out to have more than a minute, and he didn’t talk at
all. He only listened. He listened as the man explained that the
Senate was interested in cases where politicians had tried ’to
buy’ members of the press, in order to insure favorable news
coverage. ‘Do you know, Mr. Burns, that there are newspapermen
who not only have themselves but their relatives on public payrolls,
drawing salaries without doing work?’ This Harold Smith seemed
horrified at the thought. Burns learned that Mr. Harold Smith was
tracking down just such a reporter in the Miami Beach area, and Mr.
Harold Smith was going to subpoena that reporter to testify before a
public Senate hearing in Washington, D.C., and maybe, even, indict
him. No, Mr. Burns it would not be difficult to find him, because all
Mr. Harold Smith had to do was to read the local press and find out
which reporter is not giving fair coverage to the opponents of the
incumbent. That would be the right reporter. Oh, Mr. Burns
had to go? Oh, he had to write several stories about new endorsements
of Mr. Mac Polaney? Oh, tell it like it is, had always been his
motto? Well, that’s
really wonderful, Mr. Burns. More reporters should be like you. That
was Mr. Harold Smith’s feeling. He looked forward to reading
Mr. Burns’ wonderful coverage of Mr. Mac Polaney for the
remainder of the campaign. Burns left
without leaving a tip for the bartender. Remo shoveled a five dollar
bill onto the bar. That was the cheapest he’d gotten off in
anything he’d done in this campaign. CHAPTER
NINETEEN THE newspaper
the next morning had headlined the defections from Cartwright’s
camp to Mac Polaney. Under Burns’ by-line, the story said that
what appeared to have been merely a coronation ceremony for the
incumbent mayor might now grow into a horse race. Another
story quoted Gartwright in another attack on the federal government,
for trying to interfere with the municipal election. Cartwright said
that ’vast sums’ of money had been shipped from
Washington for use by his opponents, in an effort to beat him because
he would not be Washington’s toady. From the start, Cartwright
said, with the infamous League Papers, it was apparent that
Washington was trying to dictate to Miami Beach its choice of a
mayor. Another
story on Page One was datelined Washington. It quoted the President’s
press secretary as saying that a full investigation was underway into
the League papers, and that a report should be on the President’s
desk when he returned from his Summit meeting next week. The story
cheered Remo; it meant he had a few more days in which to bail out
CURE. Remo put down
the paper and chuckled to Chiun, ‘We’re going to win this
thing.’ Chiun sat, in
his blue meditative robe, and looked slowly and quizzically at Remo. ‘That
is your opinion?’ he asked. ‘It
is.’ ‘Then
heaven help us, because the fools have taken over the asylum.’ ‘Now,
what’s eating you?’ ‘What
do you know of politics, my son, that you can say now we will do
this, or now we will do that? Why do you not understand the simple
wisdom of finding a new emperor? It is as if you were one of those
Chinese priests in that terrible television tale, dedicating yourself
to social work.5 ‘You
know very well, Chiun, I’m involved in this to try to save
Smith and the organization that pays the freight for you and me.’ ‘I have
watched you now. You have this Mr. Farger, who is as imperfect a
human being as could be found. You have this Miss Walker, who is
practicing at your expense. So I say to you, if you must do this
thing, why do you not call in an expert?’ ‘Because
Chiun, in this country no one knows anything about politics. The
experts least of all. That’s why there still is an American
dream. Because the whole system is so nutty that every nut has a
chance to win. Even Mac Pol-aney. Even with me running things for
him.’ Chiun
turned away. ‘Call Dr. Smith,’ he said. ‘What
would you have me call him?’ ‘Do not
fear, my son, that you will ever drown in your arrogance. For surely,
before that day arrives, you will have choked on your ignorance.’ ‘You
stick with me, Chiun,’ Remo said. ‘How’d you like
to be city treasurer?’ But Chiun’s
remarks rankled. Remo had gotten into politics to force Cartwright’s
people to come after him,, since he was unable to attack Cartwright
head-on. And yet, nothing had happened. No one had moved, and it
forced him to wonder, against his will, if he was even in the ball
game. He would not take many more pitches, he thought, before he
started swinging. The big
name on Remo’s list for the day was Nick Bazzani, who was the
leader of the Miami Beach northern ward. Remo and Chiun found him in
his ward club, snuggled into a side street under a large red and
white sign that proclaimed ‘Cartwright for Mayor. North Ward
Civic Association, Nick Bazzani, Standard-Bearer.’ ‘What’s
a standard-bearer?’ Remo asked Chiun. ‘He
carries the flag in the annual parade of ragamuffins,’ Chiun
said, looking with distaste around the main clubroom where men in tee
shirts sat in wooden chairs, drinking beer and talking. ‘What
can I do for you?’ one man asked Remo, looking curiously at
Chiun. ‘Nick
Bazzani. I want to see him.’ ‘He’s
busy now. Make an appointment,’ the man said, jerking his thumb
toward a door that apparently led to a back room. ‘He’ll
see us,’ Remo said, brushing past the man and leading Chiun
through the door, into the backroom. The room was
a small office with a desk, extra chairs, and a small table on which
sat a portable color television set. There were
three men in the room. Bazzani apparently was the one behind the
desk. He was fattish and red-haired; he had that dumb look that only
red-headed Italians are able to master fully. Remo put his age in his
late thirties. The other two men in the room were younger,
dark-haired, much impressed by being close to Bazzani, who was
probably the most wonderful, grandest man they had ever hoped to
meet. ‘Hey,
this is a private office,’ one of the men said. ‘That’s
good,’ Remo said. ‘My business is private.’ He
turned to the man at the desk. ‘Bazzani?’ ‘Shhhh,’
said the man. ‘It’s coming on now.’ He was
staring at the television set. Remo and Chiun turned to watch. The
game show emcee said, ‘We’ll be back in just one minute.’ ‘Shhhh
now, everybody,’ Bazzani said. A soap
commercial came on. ‘It’s
next,’ Bazzani said. The soap
commercial died, there was a moment of blank air, and then on screen
came a large sunflower with a hole in its center. It filled the
screen in garish color for a few seconds and then, into the hole in
the center, popped the head of Mac Polaney. Remo winced. Polaney
seemed fixed there for a moment, then opened his mouth and began to
sing, to the plinking of one banjo accompaniment: ‘Sunshine
is nicer. Flowers
are sweeter. We
need a man to
clean up the town.’ It
went on and on and ended with: ‘Vote
for Polaney. Early
and Often.’ Bazzani had
giggled when the sunflower first came on the screen. He laughed aloud
when he saw Polaney’s face. At the end of the jingle, he was
roaring. Tears streamed down his cheeks. He tried hard to catch his
breath. The song
ended, and over the sunflower and Polaney’s face came a printed
legend: ‘Sunshine
is Nicer. Vote
for Polaney.’ Then the
commercial faded and the game show came back on. Bazzani was still
convulsed. Through tears and gasps, he managed to sing: ‘Vote
for Polaney, He
is a hoople.’ Then off into
more laughter, demanding of everybody in the room, ‘Did you see
that? Did you see that?’ Remo and
Chiun stood silently in the middle of the floor, waiting. It took a
full sixty seconds before Bazzani could catch his breath and regain
some of his composure. Finally, he looked up at Remo and Chiun and
wiped away the tears of mirth which sparkled on his fat, meaty face. ‘Can I
help you?’ he asked. ‘Yes,’
Remo said. ‘We’re from Mr. Polaney’s headquarters,
and we’ve come to ask your support.’ Bazzani
chuckled as if a partner to a joke. Remo said
nothing. Bazzani looked at him, waiting for him to say more. But when
Remo said nothing, he finally asked in surprise, ‘Whose
headquarters?’ ‘Mac
Polaney,’ Remo said. ‘The next mayor of Miami Beach.’ This
pronouncement was good for another thirty seconds of general
hilarity, this time shared by Bazzani’s two companions. ‘Why do
they laugh?’ Chiun asked Remo. ‘Mister Polaney is
correct. Sunshine is nicer.’ ‘I
know,’ Remo said, ‘But some people don’t have any
feel for truth and beauty.’ Bazanni
showed no sign of ever letting up. Every time he stopped laughing to
catch his breath, he hissed ‘Mac Polaney,’ then he and
his two spear carriers were off again. Perhaps if
Remo got his attention. He stepped forward to the desk which was bare
except for a newspaper opened to the race results, a telephone and a
metal bust of Robert E. Lee. Remo lifted
the statue in his left hand and put his right hand on top of its
head. He wrenched with his hands and ripped off the bronze head.
Bazzani stopped laughing and watched. Remo dropped the rest of the
bust and put both hands to the top of the skull in his right hand. He
twisted and wrenched, moving his hands back and forth in un»
familiar patterns, his fingers moving individually as if tapping on
different keys. Then he opened his hand and let bronze dust and
flakes to which he had reduced the statue dribble between his fingers
onto Bazzani’s desk. Bazzani
stopped laughing. His mouth hung open. He seemed unable to remove his
eyes from the pile of bronze metallic dust on his desk blotter. ‘And
now that Laugh-in is over,’ Remo said, ’we’re going
to talk about your endorsements of Mac Polaney.’ The words
jolted Bazzani to attention. ‘Alfred,’ he said. ‘Rocco.
Get these two nuts out of here.’ ‘Chiun,’
Remo said softly, his back still turned to the other two men. They moved
towards Remo. Behind him, he heard two sharp cracks as if boards were
breaking, and then two thumps as bodies hit the floor. ‘Now
that we won’t be interrupted,’ Remo said, ’why have
you been supporting Cartwright?’ ‘He’s
the city leader. I always support the city leader,’ Bazzani
said. His voice was still loud and blustery, but there was a new note
in it now. One of fear. ‘So did
Meola and Lt. Grabnick,’ Remo said. ‘But they saw the
light. They’re supporting Polaney now.’ ‘But I
can’t,’ Bazzani whined. ‘My membership....’ ‘But
you must,’ Remo said. ‘And forget your membership. Are
you their leader or not?’ ‘Yeah,
but....’ ‘No
buts,’ Remo said. ‘Look, I’ll make it clear for
you. Support Polaney and you get $5,000 and you keep breathing. Tell
me no, and your head’s going to look like Robert E. Lee’s
there.’ Bazzani
looked down at the pile of dust again, then sputtered, ‘I never
heard of such a thing. Politics isn’t done this way.’ ‘Politics
is always done this way. I’ve just eliminated the middle step
of beating around the bush. Well? What’s the answer? You want
to be with Polaney, or you want to have your skull caved in?’ Bazzani, for
the first tune, searched Remo’s eyes and found nothing in there
but truth. It was hard to believe that this was happening to him, but
for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out anything to do. He
looked past Remo down at the floor, where Rocco and Albert lay still. ‘They’re
not dead,’ Remo said, ’but they could just as easily have
been. All right, time’s up.’ He took a step toward the
desk. ‘What
do you want me to do?" Bazzani said, with a sigh. Before Rocco
and Albert regained consciousness, Remo had Bazzani’s signature
on an endorsement and Bazzani had Remo’s five thousand dollars
in his pocket. ‘A fair
trade,’ Remo said, ’is a bargain for everyone. One last
thing.’ Bazzani
looked up. ‘How’d
you know Polaney’s commercial was going to be on?’ ‘We got
a list of all the times they’re running.’ ‘From
who?’ ‘Cartwright’s
headquarters.’ ‘Okay,’
Remo said, with a small smile. ‘Now don’t cross me. Mr.
Polaney’s happy to-have you aboard.’ He turned,
stepped over Rocco and Alfred and led Chiun out, through the front
clubrooms and out into the street. He was
worried, but happy. Bazzani had had the list of commercials and they
had come from Cartwright. That meant that Cartwright had a pipeline
into Polaney’s campaign organization, and that was cause for
worry. But it also made Remo happy, because it meant that the
Cartwright people were moving. Slowly - true, but they were moving
... toward Remo. His
concentration was broken by Chiun’s voice. He turned. Chiun was
singing softly under his breath: ‘Sunshine
is nicer. ‘Flowers
are sweeter.’ CHAPTER
TWENTY ‘Did
you see those commercials?’ Willard
Farger seemed pained. He sat at his desk in the main room of their
campaign led headquarters suite, watching his three Playboy bunnies
who seemed to be watching their fingernails grow. ‘Yeah,’
said Remo. ‘What’d you think?’ ‘I
thought they were terrible,’ Farger said. ‘Who’s
going to vote for a guy with his head in a sunflower?’ ‘History
is full of elections where people voted for guys with their heads in
their ass,’ Remo said. ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s
all been carefully calculated and computed on Madison Avenue. And
would they lie to us?’ Both he and
Farger knew the answer to that question so it was not necessary to
answer it. Instead, Remo said, ‘By the way, I don’t mean
to tell you your business, but shouldn’t there be more people
in headquarters than you and your harem? I mean, aren’t there
supposed to be real live voters around here who would die or cheat or
rob or kill for our candidate?’ Farger
shrugged his shoulders. ‘Sure there are. Where do I get them?’ ‘I
thought they came after we got the endorsements from Meola and
Grabnick and Nick Bazzani,’ Remo said. ‘Not
enough,’ Farger said. ‘We get people when we prove we got
a candidate who can win. It’s like farming. You got to have
seeds before you have plants. Well, the seeds are the first people.
And you’ve got to have them to get in the other people who
really work for you.’ The plants?’ ‘Right,’
Farger said. ‘Well,
how do you get those first people? The seeds?’ ‘You
get them usually from the candidate himself. His friends, his family.
They’re the start of his organization. Our guy doesn’t
even have that. What’s he going to do: staff headquarters with
catfish?’ ‘It
doesn’t make any sense,’ Remo said. ‘We can’t
win unless we have people. And we can’t get people, unless we
prove we can win. Where does it start or end for that matter? What
about the commercials? Will they help?’ Farger shook
his head. ‘Not those commercials.’ ‘The
newspaper stories and ads?’ ‘Maybe
a little. But we don’t have time to build an organization by
dribs and drabs.’ ‘All
right,’ Remo said. ‘It’s decided.’’ ‘What
is?’ Farger asked. ‘People.
We need ’em. We’re going to hire ’em.’ ‘Hire
them? Where are you going to hire people for a campaign?’ ‘I
don’t know. We’ve got to think about it. But that’s
the answer. Hire ’em.’ ‘Hmmm,’
Farger said, musing. Then finally, ‘It might work. It just
might.’ He paused as Teri Walker stepped out of her office, saw
Remo, and smiled her way to him at Farger’s desk. ‘Did
you see the commercials?’ she asked. ‘Sure
did.’ ‘And?’ ‘The
one I saw was so effective a Cartwright ward leader switched over on
the spot. Never saw a commercial I with more pulling power than that
one.’ ‘You
mark my words,’ Ten said. ‘The whole town will know Mac
Polaney in the next forty-eight hours.’ ‘What
does your mother think?’ Remo asked. ‘I’d
love to take the credit, but she’s the one who gave me the
idea. For the sunflower setting.’ ‘And
the song?’ ‘That
came right from the candidate. He wrote it himself. He’s sweet.
He really believes it.’ ‘So do
I,’ Remo said. ‘Sunshine is nicer. We’ve just been
talking about our manpower problems. We’re thinking of hiring
campaign workers.’ ‘Sounds
like a good idea, ’she said. Farger said,
‘Our biggest problem is going to be election day at the polls.
If we don’t man every polling place, Cartwright’s people
will kill us. They’ll steal our votes.’ -, . . Remo nodded
sagely although he had no idea how one would go about stealing a vote
in this day and age of voting machines. ‘How
many people would you need?’ he asked. ‘At
least two hundred.’ ‘Two
hundred people at $300 for the week. Sixty thousand,’ Remo
said. ‘Yeah.
A lot of scratch.’ ‘We’ve
got it,’ Remo said. ‘Don’t worry about it. All
we’ve got to do is figure out where to get two hundred people
in a hurry.’ He left that
problem with Farger and joined Teri Walker in her office where she
showed him the layouts for the newspaper ads which would start
running the next day. They showed Mac Polaney’s head inside a
sunflower, and the simple legend: ‘Sunshine
is Nicer. ‘Vote
for Polaney.’ ‘What
about issues?’ Remo asked. ‘Taxes, air pollution, crime?’ She shook her
head, tossing her long blonde hair lightly around her bare shoulders.
‘It won’t work.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Have
you heard his positions? Take parking, for example. I asked him about
parking. He said the whole thing was very simple. Cut down the
parking meters and attach springs to their bases, then give them out
to the public for use as pogo sticks. This, you see, would stop the
theft of money from the meters, the vandalism of the meters
themselves, and ease the traffic problem by getting people out of
their cars and onto their pogo sticks. And then, there is air
pollution. You know what his solution is to air pollution?’ ‘What?’
Remo asked reluctantly. ‘Zen
breathing. He said air pollution is only a problem if you breathe.
But if you practice zen breathing, you can cut down the number of
breaths you take per minute. Cut them in half. This cuts the air
pollution problem in half, without the expenditure of one cent by the
public. And then there was crime. Do you really want to hear his
position on law and order?’ ‘Not
really,’ Remo said. ‘Stick with "Sunshine is
Nicer".’ ‘That
was my mother’s advice and my grandfather’s too. And they
know what they’re doing.’ Remo nodded
pleasantly at the insult, but was glum again as he got into the
elevator for downstairs. But his spirits perked up as he heard the
elevator operator humming under his breath the melody of ‘Sunshine
is Nicer’. Chiun could
tell Remo was worried. ‘You are bothered?’ he said. ‘I need
two hundred people to work on Polaney’s campaign.’ ‘And
you do not know two hundred people?’ ‘No.’ ‘And
you do not know where to get that many strangers?’ ‘No.’ ‘Can
you not advertise in the little print in your newspapers?’ Targer says
‘I can’t. It would destroy our image by admitting that we
couldn’t get campaign workers.’ ‘Truly
a problem,’ Chiun said. ‘Truly,’
Remo agreed. ‘But
you will not call Dr. Smith?’ ‘No.
I’m going to do this myself, Chiun. And that’s one
Smitty’s going to owe me.’ Chiun turned
away, shaking his head. The next
morning, the problem became academic. There was a
Page One story in the Miami Beach Dispatch in which Mayor
Cartwright attacked the mysterious forces behind his opposition, and
charged that his primary opponents were planning ’to import
goons - professional, paid political hessians - to come into our city
to disrupt our way of life.’ Remo crumpled
the paper and tossed it angrily to the floor. There it was
again, proof of Cartwright’s pipeline into the Polaney camp.
And this time Remo knew who it was. Farger just
had not been able to play it straight; he didn’t have the cuts
to break loose from his old organization, and so he played double
agent, taking Remo’s money and tipping off Cartwright on what
Polaney was doing. Well, enough
was enough. Farger would pay for it now. So Remo
thought. But Farger was to escape punishment at his hands. CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE DR. HAROLD W.
SMITH, looked at the telephone for the hundredth time that morning,
then stood and walked to the door of his office. Ignoring his
confidential secretary, his administrative assistant, and a string of
other project assistants, he walked through their offices, out
through a cluster of big open offices, and toward a side door of the
main sanitarium building. Some of the workers at desks in the big
offices stared at his departing figure in disbelief. But for a
glimpse at lunch, they had never seen him except behind his desk. He
was at his desk in the morning when they arrived; as often as not, he
ate lunch there; and he worked late into the night, hours past the
departure time of the Civil Service personnel who sat in the outer
offices doing paper work on educational and medical research projects
which served as Folcroft’s cover. Some had never conceived of
the idea of Dr. Smith walking anywhere; now to see him ambulating was
a shock indeed. There were
two basic reasons, Smith rarely left his desk. First, he was a
compulsive worker. Work was his wife, his life, his mistress and his
madness. Second, he resented any time spent away from his telephone,
because over that telephone he learned of the problems CURE faced,
and over that same bank of phones he could set into motion the
world-wide apparatus that CURE had slowly accreted to itself over the
past decade or more. But
now, he did not expect the phone to ring. The President was in Vienna
at the Summit. He would not be back for several more days and Smith
had that much time left before the President’s last order to
CURE became operational: Disband. Not that Smith would need to hear
the order spoken. The instant he felt that CURE could not be saved;
that its security was irrevocably breeched; that its continued
existence was a disservice to the country; at that moment, Smith
would act. It was a mark of his character that he did not regard his
willingness to do that as a mark of character. It was the right thing
to do; therefore, it was the kind of thing a man must do. But now, as
the day grew closer, he found himself asking the question of himself.
Would he really scuttle CURE and take his own life in the process? He
had never doubted it before, but that was when it had been just an
academic possibility. Now, it approached reality. He wondered if he
would indeed have the nerve. Still, the
question might not be put to him. There was still Remo. He knew Remo
would not telephone. He resisted calling on simple assignments; on
this one, where Smith had lifted the need for reporting regularly,
Remo would not call at all. He was
not overly optimistic about Remo’s chances to nip the scandal
of The League Papers in the bud. At the subtle cat and mouse games,
Remo was as a child. And now, he was in the trickiest of all arenas -
urban politics. CURE’s mask had been torn because of politics,
the need of Cartwright to block the investigation and indictments of
his administration. The problem required a political solution, and
Smith could tell, from reading the Florida papers, that Remo had
moved into the political arena with a man named Polaney. It was the
right strategy, but Remo was the wrong tactician. Politics was a game
with just too many finesses for the one-time cop. Still, what
else could Smith do but wait? When all was said and done, when its
millions of dollars and thousands of secret workers were counted and
recounted, CURE was two people - Smith, the head, and Remo, the hand.
Nothing else. No one else. Smith
strolled to the shore of the sound, where the ground gently broke
away and leaned down into the water, baring stones polished smooth by
the pounding of the water, glistening now gold and silver in the
morning sunlight. The waves
lapped gently at the incline, and Smith looked at the nearest wave,
then one behind it, then one farther out, until finally he was
looking out across the broad expanse of Long Island Sound. He had
looked at it for years: when CURE was just an idea, and when it was a
reality; when its missions were simple and when they were complex.
The water gave him the feeling of permanence in a jerry-built world.
But now he understood that the permanence of the water belonged only
to the water. CURE had come and CURE could go. Dr. Harold W. Smith
had lived and Dr. Harold W. Smith would die. But the waves would
roll, and more and more pebbles would go smooth and round, to be
polished gold and silver by the waves. If the sea
never changed, was CURE worth having created? Was it worth it for Dr.
Harold W. Smith to have left a lifetime of honored government service
to head the mission, because a now-dead president had told him he was
the only man for the job? Smith asked
himself that question as he looked now at the water, but he knew his
answer. It was the answer that had sustained him for years, through
all the pushing of buttons that had somehow cost other men their
lives. Each man does what he can and each man’s effort counts.
There was no reason for life if a man did not believe that. Perhaps
even Remo knew that. It could explain why he had gone to Miami Beach
instead of fleeing, which was what Smith expected him to do. And if
he had gone on the assignment... well, then he might just call. Smith scaled
a rock at the water, then turned and went back inside, to sit at the
telephone. But Remo had
other things on his mind, besides Dr. Harold W. Smith. For one,
Willard Farger. Farger was
not at campaign headquarters. Roused long enough to be coherent, one
of the bunny-secretaries confided to Remo that Farger had come in
uncharacteristically early, gotten a phone message and left. ‘He
ain’t gonna be late getting back, is he?’ she said,
snapping her gum as she talked. ‘I was going to use today’s
check to go shopping at lunch hour?’ Today’s
check?’ She nodded.
‘Farger pays us by the day. He thinks that’s the only way
we’d show up. But I’d show up anyway, just to see you.
You’re cute.’ ‘You’re
cute, too,’ Remo said. ‘Do you know who the phone message
was from?’ The girl
looked at a pad on her desk. ‘Here it is,’ she said.
‘This party called early, and left the number. When Farger came
in, he called it and left.’ She gave Remo
the number and turned away, humming, ‘Sunshine is Nicer’. Remo went to
Farger’s desk and dialed the number. ‘Mayor Cartwright’s
headquarters,’ a female voice answered. Even though it was
early in the day, in the background Remo could hear the buzz of
excited voices, typewriters pounding, other telephones ringing. Remo
held the phone to his ear for a moment, listening, and ruefully
contemplating the three bunnies in the Mac Polaney Campaign Hutch.
Then, angrily, he hung up. Double-agent
Farger. Gone, no doubt, to report to Cartwright how he was taking the
smartass easterner’s money and was sinking the Polaney
campaign. Why had he
ever gotten involved in this? Remo wondered. Why? What did he know
about politics? The dumbest green kid from a ward club would have
handled himself smarter than Remo had. His first impulse had been
right. Knock off Cartwright. Stick to what he knew. And what he knew
was death.: First,
Farger’s. Cartwright’s
headquarters were in another hotel on the Miami Beach strip, five
long blocks away. ‘He was
here earlier,’ a bright-faced, young girl told Remo, ’but
he left.’ The office
was a maelstrom of activity and people and noise, ‘Think
you’re going to win?’ Remo asked the girl. ‘Certainly,’
the girl said. ‘Mayor Cartwright is a fine man. It takes one to
stand up to the fascist pigs in Washington.’ Suddenly,
Remo realized a great truth. There were no real reasons why anyone
supported a political candidate, not logical ones anyway. People
voted their stupidities, and then justified them by seeing in their
chosen candidate what they wanted to see. Like the
girl. A government-hater, she cast Cartwright in that mold, and made
it the most important part of his makeup. Logic, obviously, had no
part in it because if it had, she would certainly have supported
Polaney, whose election was a guarantee of instant anarchy. Democracy was
a statistical accumulation of stupidities, which cancelled each other
out, until they produced the public will. The most insane thing of
all was that the public will generally was the best choice. Remo returned
the girl’s smile and she turned away with a shout. ‘Charlie,’
she called. ‘Get those brochures down into the truck.’ ‘What
truck?’ a much whiskered young man said. ‘On the
side driveway. A green panel. It’s taking the brochures to our
other clubs around town.’ ‘All
right,’ Charlie said. He moved toward a half dozen bulky
cartons of brochures that were on a four-wheeled hand truck. Remo
walked over to give him a hand. He helped Charlie steer the car to
the service elevator, then rode down with him, and helped Charlie
load the brochures on the back of a green truck. They had just
finished when the driver walked out of a saloon across the alley. ‘You
know where this stuff goes?’ Charlie asked him. ‘Got
the list right here, kid,’ the driver said, patting his shirt
pocket. Charlie
nodded and went back toward the hotel. ‘I’ll
ride with you,’ Remo told the driver. ‘Help unload.’ ‘Suit
yourself.’ The driver
was humming ‘Sunshine is Nicer’ all along the way. He
turned on the radio and in Polaney’s clear, resonant voice,
they heard the same song on a commercial. Two miles
down the strip, the driver turned off Collins Avenue and began
heading for the clubhouse in the northernmost section of Miami Beach.
After a few blocks, the traffic thinned out to an occasional car. ‘You
for Cartwright?’ Remo asked the driver, still humming the
Polaney jingle. ‘I
voted for him last time,’ the driver said, in what Remo
realized was a non-answer. ‘Hey,
wait a minute,’ Remo said. ‘Pull over here.’ ‘What’s
the matter?’ ‘Just
pull over. I’ve got to check the load.’ The driver
shrugged and pulled the truck to the side of a small roadway bridge
that crossed a slimly built river. He stopped and turned to look at
Remo who put him out with a knuckle to the neck. The driver
crumpled forward over the wheel. He would be out for a few minutes. Remo hopped
down from the truck and opened the side door in the little truck.
Shielded from the highway by the body of the truck, he began to
remove the cartons. One at a
time, he drove his steelhard fingertips into the boxes of brochures,
perforating them with big jagged holes. Then, one at a time, he
tossed them over the railings and into the water below. The holes
would let the water flow in and destroy the printing. Remo stuck a
fifty dollar bill into the driver’s shirt pocket, left him
sleeping, went across the road and hitched a ride back into town. So much for
political counterespionage. Tonight, he thought, he might get a
garden rake and go tear down the Cartwright billboards which were
beginning to blossom around the city. But first
there was Farger. Willard
Farger, fourth deputy-assistant commissioner of elections, finally
came to Remo. He came in a box, addressed simply ‘Remo’
and delivered to the Polaney campaign headquarters. He came with an
ice pick jammed into his right ear. Remo looked
down at Farger’s body, scrunched up into the reinforced carton.
A faint scent rose to his nostrils and he leaned forward, his face
close to the box. He had smelled it before. It was floral. Yes. The
same scent had come from the ice pick that he had seen jammed into
the right ear of City Manager Moskowitz. It was lilac. A
lilac-scented icepick. Remo just
looked at the ice pick in disgust. On its point had been skewered,
not only Farger but the entire Polaney campaign. The only person in
the whole campaign who knew anything at all, and he was dead. It was the
ultimate insanity, Remo thought. CURE, which had been created to use
violence to help save the nation and its political processes, was now
being destroyed by the most basic of the political processes - a free
election - in which its opponents were free to use violence while
Remo wasn’t. And he just
did not know what to do about it. For a moment,
he thought of the phone. Smith was only a telephone call away. His
hand began to move for the phone and then he shook his head, and
began to lug the carton containing Farger’s body to one of the
back rooms. CHAPTER
TWENTY-TWO AFTER Remo
had disposed of the body, he told of Farger’s death to Teri
Walker, who broke down and wept real tears. ‘I
didn’t know politics was going to be like this/ she cried.
‘That poor man.’ ‘Well,
we’re not going to say a word about it,’ Remo said.
‘We’re just going to go on campaigning.’ She nodded
and wiped her very wet eyes. ‘That’s right. We’ve
got to go on. He would have wanted us to.’ ‘That’s
right,’ Remo said. ‘You go on. Do your commercials and
your advertising. Do your thing.’ ‘And
you?’ ‘I’m
going to do mine.’ ‘We’ve
got that television special Monday night,’ she said. ‘That
might just win it for us.’ ‘Good,’
Remo said. ‘The opposition’s going to know they’ve
been in a fight anyway.’ Poor Teri.
Her first campaign, and she was raising exuberance to an art form.
But no matter what she did, there was no way to win. Remo conceded
that now. There were no workers. And even if there had been workers,
there was no work for them to do. Farger had kept everything in his
head. Without him, Remo could not find the printing, the brochures,
the bumper strips, the buttons, all the necessary paraphernalia of a
political campaign. He confided
this to Chiun back at their hotel room. ‘I do
not understand,’ Chiun said. ‘You mean that people vote
for one person, rather than another, because they prefer his button?’ ‘Well...
sort of,’ Remo said. ‘But
you told me earlier that people would vote the way that police
lieutenant told them to,’ Chiun said. ‘Well..
. some people will.’ ‘How
can you tell the people who follow the police lieutenant from the
people who follow the buttons?’ Chiun asked; ‘You
can’t,’ Remo said. Chiun
spattered the room with Korean, of which Remo could recognize a
phrase or two, most dealing with the stupidity of democracy and how
it was, therefore, the only form of government which white men
deserved. Finally,
Chiun stopped. In English, he said: ‘What do you do now?’ ‘We
can’t win. But I can make things uncomfortable for them.’ ‘But
you told me that you could not kill your opponents.’ ‘That’s
right. I can’t. But I can rough them up a little, them and
their campaign.’ Chiun shook
his head sadly. ‘An assassin who is not permitted to kill is
like a man with an unloaded revolver who takes solace in the fact
that at least the gun has a trigger. The risks are very great.’ ‘But
what else can I do? No workers, no equipment, no nothing,’ Remo
said. ‘Let’s face it, Chiun. The political campaign is
over for us. We’ve lost.’ ‘I
see,’ Chiun said and watched as Remo changed into dark slacks
and shirt and shoes. ‘And
now?’ Chiun asked. ‘I’m
going to drop a little rainfall in the lives of our opposition.’ ‘Do not
be caught,’ Chiun said. ‘Because if you are, I will tell
investigators everything I know. I understand it is the way of your
country.’ ‘Feel
free,’ Remo said. ‘I won’t be caught.’ Remo
got to the hotel headquarters of Mayor Tim Cartwright’s
campaign shortly after midnight. He left shortly before dawn, seen
only by one person, and that only fleetingly, as that person decided
it would be good to sleep until noon. Behind him,
Remo left a record of accomplishment, on which he would have been
glad to campaign for a second term as campaign burglar. He ripped out
the telephone connections and rewired the junction boxes, until they
were tangled mazes of colored cables. The telephone instruments
themselves were carefully taken apart, their innards mangled, and
then reinserted. Remo took apart the electric typewriters and
re-jiggered the connections so that when struck, different keys
produced the wrong letters. For good measure, he also bent the
typewriter rollers. He tore
thousands of bumper strips in half. Thousands of copies of a campaign
newsletter were dumped down the incinerator shaft, followed by three
crates of lapel buttons. He painted mustache and beard on printed
pictures of Mayor Cartwright, and as his last act, dropped a match
down the incinerator shaft and waited for the flame to start with a
muffled puff. Remo decided
to walk back to his hotel and he stopped in the early morning warmth
and swam in the ocean. He swam strongly, powerfully slipping through
the water in the way of Sinanju, his mind churning in marked contrast
to the smooth moving of his body, and when his anger had waned and he
turned in the water, the shoreline was out of sight. He had swum
miles out to sea. Slowly he
returned to land, padding ashore in his briefs, then sitting in the
sand and slipping on his clothes, under the startled eye of a beach
boy who was setting up the chaise lounges for the day’s
invasion of freckled, pale-skinned New Yorkers. He got back
to his apartment by mid-morning. Chiun should be up, he thought, and
stuck his head into the old man’s room. The cocoa mat on which
Chiun sometimes slept was rolled up and neatly stored in a corner.
The room was empty. On the
kitchen table, Remo found a note. ‘A
matter of urgency has taken me to Mr. Polaney’s headquarters.’ Now what?
Remo decided he had better go and see. Outside
Polaney headquarters, the noise in the hall was deafening. What the
hell was going on inside, Remo thought. Perhaps one of Farger’s
bunnies had lost her nail polish. He pushed
open the door to step inside, then stopped in amazement. The place was
overrun with people. Women. Middle-aged and elderly women. All
moving, all working. At Farger’s
desk sat Mrs. Ethel Hirshberg. She was shouting into a telephone. ‘I
don’t know nothing from labor problems. You want to get paid,
you deliver in an hour. Otherwise, you and your lovely family can eat
the paper you used. ‘That’s
right. One hour or no cash. Don’t tell me about arrangements.
This operation is under new management. That’s right. One hour.
And be sure you have somebody carry them upstairs. Us ladies have bad
backs.’ She hung up
the phone and pointed to Remo. ‘Your father’s inside. Now
don’t just stand there. Go inside and see if there’s
anything you can do to help, even though you’re not much good
for anything. ‘Rose,’
she screamed. ‘You have that list of North Ward volunteers yet?
Well, step on it. Get this show on the road.’ She turned to
Remo again. ‘Hard,’ she said derisively. ‘After 40
years in the fur business, I’ll teach you hard. Hard like you
don’t know hard. Why are you standing there? Report in to your
father and see what it is you can do to help him. Poor old man. You
should be ashamed of yourself, leaving this job to him until the last
minute. And him so upset and all, for fear you might get hurt. And
nice Mr. Polaney, that he shouldn’t be stuck with someone like
you.’ Her
phone rang and she picked it up before the first brrrrng had ended.
‘Sunshine is Nicer headquarters,’ she said, listened a
moment, then barked, ‘I don’t care what you promised,
-you’re going to have those sound trucks here in one hour. One
hour. That’s right. Oh, no? Now listen. Do you know Judge
Mandelbaum? Yes, well, he would be very interested to know that you
are not willing to rent your trucks to anybody who calls. Did you
know that’s a violation of the federal fair election laws?’
She shrugged at Remo. ‘Yes, that’s right, and Judge
Mandelbaum knows it, who is the husband of my cousin, Pearl. And
anytime you shouldn’t think that blood is thicker. ...’
She put her hand over the phone and shook her head at Remo again.
‘Inside,’ she hissed. ‘Help your father.’
Then she was back on the phone. Remo shook
his head in astonishment. There were fifty women working in the
office, and more arriving each minute, brushing by Remo with a
brusque ‘Unblock the door,’ tossing floppy flowered hats
on tables, and without being directed, sitting down at desks and
tables to begin working on what apparently were voter registration
lists. Mrs.
Hirshberg hung up. ‘I got rid of your three playboy bunnies,’
she told Remo. ‘For campaign work, they are like zero. Maybe
after the election, we find a nice place for them in a massage parlor
somewhere.’ Remo finally
left the doorway and walked to the back office where Teri Walker
usually worked. Inside, Chiun was seated behind her desk. He smiled
when he looked up and saw Remo. ‘My
son,’ he said in greeting. ‘My
father,’ said Remo, bowing deferentially. ‘My
resourceful, astonishing, devious, worry-about-me sneak of a father.’ ‘Just
so you shouldn’t be forgetting,’ Chiun said. CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE BY
noon, three hundred women were on the streets of the city. They went
door to door with literature. They assaulted the shopping centers.
They broke into song at random moments: ‘Sunshine
is nicer. ‘Vote
for Polaney.’ People who
refused literature or who made nasty comments about Mac Polaney were
subjected to cajolery. The easy abuse with which they dealt with each
other had been left in campaign headquarters. On the street, under
Mrs. Hirshberg’s guidance, it was all sugar. ‘So, it
wouldn’t hurt you to vote for Mr. Polaney. So what’s
wrong with having a nice guy as mayor for a change. Look, I know how
you feel, being Mayor Cartwright’s sister and all, but why not
be giving an honest man a chance. You can trust Mr. Polaney.’ This
was underway in full force at 12 noon. At 12:01 p.m., the Cartwright
headquarters were aware of what was happening. At 12:35 p.m.,
countermeasures were underway. It would be
very simple, Marshal Dworshansky explained to Cartwright. These are
volunteers who therefore have no real stake in Tuesday’s
election. Make an object lesson of one or two of them and the others
will quickly find very good reasons to return to their Mah Jongg
games. This was
subsequently explained to Theophilus Pedaster and Gumbo Jackson, who
were assigned by a friend of theirs to deliver this object lesson. ‘Women,
you say?’ said Theophilus Pedaster, giggling. ‘Young
women or old women?’ ‘Old
women.’ Pedaster
looked disappointed. Gumbo Jackson, however, did not. He was the
smarter of the two and had already taken the four hundred dollars
offered for the job and placed it in his pocket. ‘Young women,
old women,’ he said, ’it doesn’t matter. Just a
leeetle lesson.’ And he grinned because it had all been
carefully explained to him. Unfortunately,
someone had forgotten to explain it nearly that carefully to a little
old Oriental in orange robes, who was accompanying the first group of
ladies that Pedaster and Jackson confronted. ‘Give
us all them leaflets,’ Pedaster had said. ‘You
get one each,’ said the big-busted woman in the blue dress, who
was leading the group. ‘Ah
wants them all,’ Pedaster repeated. ‘You
get one.’ Pedaster
pulled a knife from his pocket. ‘You don’t understand. Ah
needs them all.’ He looked at Gumbo Jackson who also pulled a
knife. ‘Protect
Chiun,’ the bosomy woman yelled, and then swung her purse up
over her head, down onto Pedaster’s skull. Three women joined
her, swinging their heavy pocketbooks. It was bad, man, and finally
Pedaster decided he better cut somebody. But that
didn’t work either. In the mix of bodies and arms and
pocketbooks, he saw an orange-robed arm flash, and his knife was
gone. Worse yet, his arm was disabled. He turned toward Gumbo, just
in time to see an orange flash bury deep into Gumbo’s stomach.
Gumbo splatted onto the sidewalk like a fresh egg. Pedaster
looked at his lifelong closest friend there, unconscious on the
ground, the women hovering over him, and he did what he had been
trained to do since childhood. He fled. Behind him,
he heard the women babbling: ‘Is Chiun all right? Are you okay?
These shvartzes didn’t hurt you?’ It was
only when he got three blocks away that Pedaster realized Gumbo had
the four hundred. Oh well, let him keep it. If he lived, he deserved
it. Pedaster would have no need for it, since he was going to visit
his family in Alabama. Right away, By nightfall,
every hand in the city had held a piece of Polaney Literature. The
next day, every house was visited by a team of women who explained
why all decent, self-respecting persons would vote only for Polaney.
There were so many Polaney volunteers on the street that Cartwright
workers began to feel oppressed, skulking across streets, ducking
into bars, chucking their remaining literature down sewers rather
than risk the wrath of the sharp-tongued.women who somehow had gotten
onto Polaney’s bandwagon. And over the
entire city rang the noise of the sound trucks: ‘Sunshine
is Nicer. ‘Vote
for Polaney.’ In the
taverns and the living rooms, whose air conditioning sealed out the
sound truck noises from the street, the message came pouring out of
televisions and radios, saturating Miami Beach. Vote for
Polaney. The message
even found its way onto a cabin radio in a large white and silvered
yacht, bobbing gently a half mile off the shore of the city. Marshal
Dworshansky angrily flipped the radio off, and turned to his
daughter, immaculate and cool in a white linen pants suit. ‘I had
not expected this,’ Dworshansky said, beginning to pace, his
heavily muscled arms bulging under a tight blue tee shirt. ‘What?’ ‘That
Polaney would be able to put together such a campaign. I had not
expected,’ he said reproachfully, ’that your work for him
would be quite so productive.’ ‘I
don’t understand it,’ said Dorothy Walker. ‘I
personally approved the commercials and the advertising because they
were the worst I had ever seen. The best way for them to waste their
money.’ ‘Waste
money? Hah,’ said the old man who, at that moment, looked old
and mean. ‘That money might buy the election. We must find
something else.’ Dorothy
Walker stood up and smoothed the front of her pants-suit jacket.
‘Father,’ she said, ’it is a thing I think I must
do for you. We will find if this Remo has a weak spot.’ CHAPTER
TWENTY-FOUR ‘I WANT
a hundred in a package,’ Mrs. Ethel Hirshberg told Remo. ‘Not
ninety-nine. Not one hundred one. I want one hundred. So count them.’ ‘You
count them,’ Remo said. ‘There’s one hundred in
these packages.’ ‘How
can there be one hundred when you don’t count them? Just reach
in and grab, pull out anything and tell me it’s one hundred? I
shouldn’t be like you in business, thank heavens.’ ‘It’s
one hundred,’ said Remo stubbornly. Ethel Hirshberg had had him
at the job for over an hour now, breaking down vast boxes of
brochures into stacks of 100 for wrapping and distribution to
volunteers. Remo did it like a card trick, running his fingers down
the side of a stack until he knew there were 100 brochures there.
‘It’s one hundred,’ he repeated. ‘But
you count,’ Ethel Hirshberg said. Chiun came
out of Teri Walker’s office. He was wearing his heavy black
brocaded robe and his serenity was like a force of nature. ‘Chiun,’
Remo yelled. Chiun turned,
looked at Remo without expression, and then smiled as his face came
to rest on Mrs. Hirshberg. ‘Come
here, will you,’ said Remo. Mrs.
Hirshberg shook her head. ‘Your father. Your father, yet, and
you talk like that. Come here. No respect at all for your elders. Or
your betters.’ Chiun
approached them. Remo and
Ethel both tried to state their own case first. ‘I want
piles of one hundred.. ..’ ‘These
are piles of one hundred....’ ‘So it
shouldn’t hurt to count them. Just to make sure we don’t
waste them. ...’ ‘I
don’t have to count them if I know there’s a hundred
here.’ Chiun raised
a hand on Remo’s dying words: ‘How many are in this pile,
Chiun?’ Chiun looked
at the pile of leaflets in front of Remo, lifted it into his hand,
and said magisterially, This pile contains 102 brochures.’ ‘See,’
Ethel said. ‘Count them from now on.’ She walked away,
and Remo said, ‘Chiun, why did you say that? You know there’s
only one hundred in that pile.’ ‘You
are so sure? The infallible one cannot make a mistake?’ . ‘No,
I can make a mistake, but I didn’t. There’s one hundred
here.’ ‘So?
For two brochures, you argue with volunteer labor? Does one win war
by losing all battles?’ ‘Dammit,
Chiun, I can’t let that woman browbeat me any more. I’ve
been working here forever. One hundred is one hundred. Why should I
count them when I can finger-weigh them?’ ‘Because
if you do not count them, all our ladies will walk out the door. Then
what will you do? Go back to foolish child’s plan of partial
violence against the enemy? A plan that will most likely destroy you?
And your Mr. Polaney? Does he just go back, quietly, to losing?’ ‘Chiun,
I liked it better when we were losing.’ ‘Losers
always like it better when losing. The act of winning takes not only
discipline but morality.’ ‘The
morality of saying one hundred is really one hundred and two?’
Remo asked. ‘The
morality of saying it is two hundred and fourteen if that is
necessary.’ ‘Chiun,
you are despicable.’ ‘You
are sloppy and that is worse. While this pack does contain one
hundred, that one contains only ninety-nine.’ He pointed to
another stack of brochures, seven feet away on the long table. ‘Wrong,
Chiun. One hundred.’ ‘Ninety-nine.’ ‘You’ll
see,’ Remo said. He leaned over, snatched up the suspect pile,
and began to count them loudly onto the table. ‘One. Two.
Three.’ As he
counted, Chiun walked away, back toward Mrs. Hirshberg’s desk. ‘He
understands now,’ Chiun said gently. ‘You see, he is not
really bad. Just lazy.’ Over the room
came Remo’s voice. ‘Seventeen. ‘Eighteen. ‘Nineteen.’ ‘Like
so many young people today,’ Ethel Hirshberg said, consoling
Chiun. ‘I never thought to ask. Can he count to one hundred?’ ‘He
needs only to reach ninety-nine with that pile,’ Chiun said. ‘Twenty-five. ‘Twenty-six, ‘Twenty-seven.’ Dorothy
Walker seemed to exude cool breezes as she came through the door,
crisp and fresh in a white suit, and paused at Mrs. Hirshberg’s
desk. ‘Is
Remo in?’ she said. Ethel
Hirshberg raised a finger to her lips. ‘Shhh,’ she
said.‘He is busy right now.’ ‘Forty-seven. ‘Forty-eight. ‘Forty-nine.’ ‘Will
he be done soon?’ Dorothy Walker said, looking at Remo, whose
head was down over the table in intense concentration. ‘He’s
only got fifty more to count,’ Mrs. Hirshberg said. ‘For
him, another fifteen minutes?’ ‘I’ll
wait.’ ‘Please
do.’ ‘Sixty-four. ‘Sixty-five. ‘Sixty-six.’ As Dorothy
Walker waited, her eyes roamed the headquarters, quietly impressed by
the efficiency and organization with which more than two dozen
volunteers were carrying out logistical work. ‘Ninety-seven. ‘Ninety-eight. ‘Ninety-nine. ‘NINETY-NINE?’ Remo looked
up and saw Dorothy Walker. He smiled toward her and approached. ‘Yes?’
Chum said. ‘Yes,
what?’ ‘You
have nothing to say?’ ‘What’s
to say?’ ‘There
were how many?’ Chiun asked. ‘I
don’t know,’ Remo said. ‘You
don’t know?’ ‘I
don’t know. I got tired and stopped counting at ninety-nine.’ Of the next
words, Remo recognized a few. He would ignore Chiun. Remo, at least,
would not stoop to petty bickering. Dorothy
Walker smiled at him. ‘I thought I’d see how the winner
lives,’ she said. ‘You
think so?’ Remo said. ‘You
can’t miss.’ ‘Just
so long as Albert Einstein here doesn’t count the votes,’
Mrs. Hirshberg interrupted. ‘Come
on,’ Remo said to Dorothy Walker. ‘These lower-echelon
types don’t understand us creative people.’ ‘Is Ten
around?’ ‘She
said everything was in the can for tomorrow’s commercials and
advertisements. She was going out of town to stay with a friend, and
she said she’d see us tomorrow night at the TV studio,’
Remo said. Dorothy
Walker nodded. ‘I’ll talk to her tomorrow,’ she
said. She let Remo
lead her out. He enjoyed it. She looked good and smelled even nicer -
a fresh, crisp floral scent. The scent was
even stronger in his nostrils later, in Dorothy Walker’s
apartment, when she took from his hand the glass she had put there,
pressed her body against his and planted her mouth on his. She stayed
locked there a long time, exuding her clean aroma into Remo’s
nostrils. He watched a tiny pulse in her temple increase its speed. She stopped,
and led Remo by the hand out onto the balcony of the penthouse. Up
there, above the lights of the strip, the night was black. She still
held Remo’s hand as, with her other hand, she stretched out far
to the left and then swept around past the sea in front of them, then
further on, until her hand swung in front of Remo and came up onto
his shoulder. She leaned her head against his upper arm. ‘Remo,
this could all be ours,’ she said. ‘Ours?’ ‘I’ve
decided that my firm is going to open a political division, and I
want you to head it.’ Remo, who
knew that he had obvious political skills and was pleased that they
were recognized, paused a moment, then said, ‘Sorry. That’s
not my line.’ ‘Just
what is your line?’ ‘I like
to move from place to place, doing good wherever I go/ he said,
feeling for a moment that it was true, and sensing the satisfaction
the same lie always gave Chiun. ‘Let’s
not fool each other, Remo/ she said. ‘I know you feel the same
attraction for me that I do for you. Now how can we be together? To
satisfy that attraction? How and where and when?’ To which Remo
replied, ‘How about here and now? Like this.’ He had her
there, on the smooth tile of the balcony, their own body smells
mingling and strengthening the cool flowered smell of Dorothy Walker.
To Remo, it was a parting gift. She would go on to become a political
manager; Remo, he knew, would go back to doing what he did - being
the second-best assassin in the world. It would have been heartless
of him, not to give her some way to remember him in those empty years
she faced ahead. So he gave of
himself, until she shuddered and lay, smiling still, beneath him. And later,
she said, ‘This is a dirty business, this politics, Remo. Let’s
forget Polaney. Let’s go now.’ Remo watched
the stars blink in the blackness overhead and said, ‘Too late
now. There’s no turning back.’ ‘Just
an election?’ she asked. He shook his
head. ‘Not just an election. First, I elect Polaney. And then I
do what I really came to do.’ ‘It’s
that important?’ she said. ‘This thing that you do?’ ‘I
don’t know whether it’s important or not,’ he said.
‘But it’s what I do, and so I do it. I guess it’s
important.’ And then he
had her again. When the door
clicked shut behind him, Dorothy Walker rose and went to the
telephone. Her number came through quickly. ‘Papa,’
she said. ‘This Remo is your government man, and I don’t
think there’s any way to make him back off. He believes in what
he’s doing.’ Then: ‘Yes,
Papa, I suppose there is always that way. It’s just truly a
shame. He is a man like you, papa.’ CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE ‘FOR my
next number, I would like to play Nola. I would also like to play the
Flight of the Bumblebee. Since I can’t play either of them,
I’ll try to play My Old Kentucky Home.’ Mac Polaney
was wearing frayed bottom shorts, sneakers with no socks, a red
boatneck shirt, and a baseball cap with a script B on it that looked
like an old Brooklyn Dodger issue. He sat on a
wooden stool, braced his long woodcutting saw against one foot, and
began to stroke it with a violin bow. The wailing the ramin sound it
made was a reasonable facsimile of My Old Kentucky Home. In the wings
Remo winced. ‘This
is terrible,’ he hissed to Chiun. ‘Where’s Teri?’ ‘Her
whereabouts are not my campaign assignment,’ Chiun said.
‘Besides, I think he plays his strange instrument extremely
well. It is an art alien to my homeland.’ ‘And to
mine,’ Remo said. ‘We must be losing hundreds of votes a
minute.’ ‘One
can never tell,’ Chiun said. ‘Perhaps Miami Beach is
ready for a saw virtuoso in City Hall. He may be an idea whose time
has come.’ ‘Thank
you, Chiun, for consoling me.’ Remo and
Chiun watched in silence as Mac Polaney hammed it up for the
television camera. But where was Teri Walker? She was supposed to
have been there. Perhaps, she
could have gotten Mac Polaney to talk about the campaign a little.
Particularly with what this three-hour extravaganza was costing Remo.
And she certainly would have known how to handle that out-of-town
television crew. They had told studio people and Remo that they were
from a New York-based network and were filming a special on election
techniques. After some haggling, they were allowed to set up their
camera in the opposite wing of the stage, and now the two men manning
it kept it fixed on Polaney running off miles of film. They made Remo
uneasy, but he chalked it off to his longstanding feeling that
disasters would be kept in the family and not filmed for posterity. Chiun was
saying something to him. ‘Shhhh,’
said Remo. ‘I want to see if he reaches the high note.’ Polaney
almost reached it. Chiun insisted, ‘There are other vibrations
you might consider.’ ‘Such
as?’ ‘Such
as those two gentlemen of television over there, They are not
authentic.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Because
for the last five minutes, their picture machine has been aimed at
that stain on the ceiling.’ Remo looked.
Sure enough, the camera was pointing away from Polaney, its film
grinding rapidly away. The two cameramen were kneeling down next to
their equipment box. As Remo and Chiun watched, they came up
standing, guns in their hands, focused on Polaney. All the
people out there in what Mac Polaney had called ’television
land’ missed the most exciting part of his campaign special.
Remo moved for the gunmen, but Chiun was already there. Viewers had
seen only a green swish as the robed Chiun moved across the stage,
past Polaney, and
then, as Polaney finished his number with one last dying note, they
heard shots, then sharp thwacks, then screams. The cameraman
surrendered to his instinct and turned the camera off Polaney and
swung it to the side. Chiun hopped nimbly back behind the drapes and
the camera saw only the bodies of the two bogus cameramen, lying
there on the bare wooden floor, unmoving, dead. The camera
froze there a moment, then began moving back to Polaney. With horror,
Remo realized he was standing directly between Polaney and the
camera, ready to present his face to the audience for posterity and
all he could think of was how Dr. Smith would resent it. Remo turned
his back to the camera and said into the overhead microphone: ‘Do not
be alarmed, ladies and gentlemen. An attempt has just been made on
Mr. Polaney’s life, but our security guards have the situation
well in hand.’ Then, still
without turning, without showing his face to the camera, Remo sidled
off the stage, leaving framed in the center of the camera lens Mac
Polaney, holding his saw by the handle, looking off toward the side
of the stage where the dead men lay. Finally
Polaney turned back toward the camera. Slowly he
said: ‘They
were trying to silence me. But people have tried to silence me
before, and they all have failed. Because only death would silence
me.’ He stopped. A
cameraman cheered. In the control booth, an engineer applauded. Polaney
waited a moment, then said: ‘I hope you will all vote for me
tomorrow. Good night.’ And with his
saw under his arm, he moved away, off camera, into the wings where
Remo stood, now joined by Chiun. The
music of ‘Sunshine is Nicer’ came up and over. ‘That
was quick thinking,’ Remo said. ‘Quick
thinking? About what?’ Polaney asked. That bit
about people trying to silence you. Real good politics.’ ‘But
it’s true,’ Polaney said. ‘Every time I play the
saw, someone’s trying to keep me quiet.’ ‘You
were talking about the saw?’ ‘Well,
of course. What else?’ ‘Where’s
Teri?’ Remo bawled. Teri Walker
was not in the small apartment she kept in the hotel which housed
Polaney’s campaign headquarters, but something else was. On her desk
Remo found a note. It read: ‘Teri. Under no circumstances, go
to the studio tonight. This is important. Mother.’ The note was
fresh and fragrant and Remo lifted it to his face. It even smelled
like Dorothy Walker. It had that clean ... and then he realized it.
It had the smell of lilacs. The same smell that had been on the ice
picks he had found in Willard Farger and City Manager Clyde
Moskowitz. Dorothy
Walker. She had been the leak from the Polaney campaign, taking
Remo’s money and playing both sides against the middle. And the
night before, she had tried to use him. Remo walked
to Dorothy Walker’s nearby penthouse apartment, forced the
door, and sat on the soft brown arm chair in the living room and
waited. He waited through the night and until the sun was high. No
Dorothy Walker. And finally the phone rang. Remo picked
it up. ‘Hello.’ ‘Hello,
who’s this? Remo?’ said Teri Walker. ‘Right.’ She giggled.
‘So my mother finally trapped you. I knew she would.’ ‘Afraid
not, Teri. Your mom’s not here. She hasn’t been here all
night.’ ‘Oh.
She must be out on Grandpa’s boat. Probably talking about the
campaign. He’s very interested.’ ‘What
boat?’ Remo said. ‘The
Encolpius,’ she said. ‘It’s tied up in the bay.’ ‘Thanks,’
Remo said. ‘By the way, why didn’t you show up at
the studio last night?’ ‘Momma
left me a note and told me not to. When I talked to her on the phone,
she said there was a chance of violence, and that you said it was
best I stayed away. So I stayed at my friend’s house again. But
I watched. I thought it was wonderful.’ ‘If you
think that was good, watch what comes next,’ Remo said. He hung up
and left the apartment building, walking toward the water. ‘You’ve
lost, poppa,’ Dorothy Walker was wearing a green cocktail dress
in the main sitting room of the yacht, talking to Marshal
Dworshansky. ‘I
know, my dear. I know. But who would have thought our men would miss?
And such good men. Sasha and Dmitri. They would have done anything
for us.’ ‘Yes,
but miss they did. And now there is no way that Mr. Polaney is not
going to win the election. You failed to consider the public reaction
if your men missed.’ ‘That
is true.’ Dworshansky smiled sadly. ‘Perhaps I am just
growing old. Too old to have my own city. Well. There are other fish
in the sea.’ ‘Maybe
now, papa, you’ll retire as you should have years ago. Losing,
you always told me, is the only sin.’ ‘Do I
detect a note of exultation? You may have lost something too,’
he said. ‘No,
papa, I’ve won. Polaney will be the mayor. Teri and I will be
his closest advisors. Inside of six months, I will own the city. And
then I will give it to you. I owe you that gift.’ As
Dworshansky listened, he understood that Dorothy Walker’s offer
of a gift was not made in love, but as full payment of an annoying
debt. He looked at her and said, ‘Perhaps we both have lost
something.’ ‘That’s
right,’ came a voice. Remo stood in the doorway. ‘You’ve
both lost.’ ‘Who
are you?’ Dworshansky demanded. ‘Who is this man?’ Dorothy
stood up and smiled at Remo. ‘This is Remo, my associate from
Mr. Polaney’s campaign. The only other person with enough
vision to see that Mac Polaney was what Miami Beach needed.’ ‘Save
it for your next dog food commercial,’ Remo said. ‘I
finally wised up. When I found out why Teri wasn’t at the
studio. Did you do it just to capture the city?’ Dworshansky
nodded. ‘Why not?’ he said. ‘Can you think of a
better reason?’ He talked easily, almost happily. ‘But
why kill Farger?’ ‘Farger?
Oh yes. That was just to remind Mayor Cartwright’s people that
we did not look kindly upon defections. Of course, when you disposed
of Farger’s body and kept the killing quiet, that eliminated
any value we might have gotten from it.’ ‘And
Moskowitz?’ ‘Moskowitz
was weak,’ Dworshansky said. ‘I think he would rather
have gone to jail than to play in this high-stakes game. We could not
chance somebody on the inside cracking.’ ‘And
you dragged the federal government and the League papers into the
campaign because. ...’ ‘. ...
Because it was the only way to keep Cartwright and his thieves out of
jail and to get Cartwright reelected. You see, I figured that the
government would be afraid to act against Cartwright if it was,
itself, under fire from him.’ ‘Good
plan,’ Remo said. ‘It tied my hands for a long time, made
me afraid to do what should have been done to Cartwright and to you.
Too bad you finally lost.’ Dworshansky
smiled. A deep white smile in his dark tan face. ‘No, my
friend. I have not lost. You have lost.’ He lunged for
a small box on top of the sitting room’s piano and answered
Remo’s last question. When he drew
out the ice pick, Remo realized that he -not Cartwright, not Dorothy
Walker, not any of the hired hands - this muscled old man had been
the killer. He had wanted to clear that up. Remo grinned. Dworshansky
charged him. As he got close to Remo, Remo could smell the
overpowering aroma of the lilac cologne. Dworshansky wasted no time
on preliminaries. He aimed a roundhouse at Remo’s temple,
hoping to drive the ice pick in to the hilt. Remo slid back, just out
of the pick’s range, then moved forward again, slamming the
hell out of his left hand against Dworshansky’s right arm,
forcing the pick to continue its giant arc, until it buried itself
deep into the left side of Dworshansky’s own throat. The man
gurgled, looked at Remo in shock and surprise, then dropped to the
floor. Dorothy
Walker stood. She cast only a fleeting glance at her father, then
said: ‘Oh, Remo. We can do it. You and I. First this city and
then the state.’ ‘Not
even one tear to shed for your father?’ She moved
close to Remo, insinuating her body against his. She smiled. ‘Not
even one,’ she said. ‘I’ve always been too busy
living ... and loving... to weep.’ ‘We’ll
see what we can do to correct that,’ Remo said. Before she
could move or react, her scream was frozen in her throat as Remo
calmly shattered her temple. He let her down softly on the floor,
next to her father, and closed the sitting room door behind him. Remo
found the yacht empty of crew. He moved the big boat down to the
southern tip of Miami Beach and anchored it two hundred yards off
shore. The crew, who had been given the afternoon off by Dworshansky,
was not likely to happen upon it there. Remo swam into the beach. The
next stop on his schedule was Mayor Tim Cartwright. CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX MAYOR Timothy
Cartwright opened his upper right desk drawer. Where there would be
an opening on a normal desk, here there was a metal slide. Cartwright
undipped his keychain from the back of his belt, and with a thin
steel key unlocked the slide. He took from
the drawer piles of bills, twenties, fifties, hundreds and shoveled
them into his briefcase. How many
times, he thought, had losing candidates delayed their appearance
before their supporters at campaign headquarters? And how many times
had they been too busy to speak, because they had first had to go to
their offices to collect the money and get rid of the evidence? Well, it
didn’t matter. He had come in honest and poor; he would go out
dishonest and rich. The money in safe deposit boxes around the
country; the jewelry and bonds overseas. He would never have to worry
about the future. The city had chosen Mac Polaney, so that was their
problem. Let the voters live with it. He would be far away. And when
police protection fell apart, when city services became first
negligible, then non-existent, when the town was an open city for
hoodlums, bums and hippies, and the public clamored for Tim
Cartwright to come back and straighten things out, they could hold
their hands on their asses. He would be long gone. He visualized
his headquarters now, awash with tears. How strange. There were more
tears shed by one rabid supporter than by all the losing incumbents
in the history of the world. Not strange at all, he then realized.
The losing incumbent had already gotten his; what did he have to cry
about? ‘Going
somewhere?’ The voice
broke Cartwright’s reverie. ‘How
did you get in here?’ he said, knowing that the building was
locked and Sheriff Clyde McAdow stood guard at the back entrance of
the municipal building. ‘The
sheriff decided to take a nap. A long nap. Now it’s your turn.’ ‘You’re
that Remo, aren’t you?’ Cartwright said. His hand moved
stealthily toward a desk drawer. ‘That’s
right,’ Remo said. ‘And if your hand reaches that drawer,
your hand’ll come off.’ Cartwright
froze, then said casually, ‘Why? What have you got against me?’ ‘A few
things. Farger. Moskowitz. The attempt on Polaney?’ ‘You
know they were all the marshal’s idea, don’t you?’
Cartwright said. ‘Not mine. His.’ ‘I
know,’ Remo said. ‘Everything was his idea. The League
papers. Killing poor Bullingsworth. Attacking Folcroft. The federal
government.’ Cartwright
shrugged his shoulders and grinned, the kind of grin mastered best by
Irish politicians caught with their hands in the till. ‘So? It
was true, wasn’t it? You’re here.’ ‘That’s
right,’ Remo said. ‘We’re both here.’ ‘Now
what?’ ‘Here’s
what. You sit down at that desk and write what I dictate.’ Cartwright
nodded. ‘Okay. That’s what you get out of it. What do I
get out of it?’ ‘You
live. That’s one. That briefcase of money. That’s two. A
free ride out of the country. That’s three.’ ‘Do you
mind if I call the marshal?’ ‘Yes,’
Remo said, ‘I do mind. He told me he would not accept your
call.’ Cartwright
measured Remo again with his eyes, then with an almost imperceptible
shrug, sat down at the desk, took Mayor’s Office stationery
from the center drawer and a pen from the ebony desk set in front of
him. He looked up at Remo. ‘Address
it,’ Remo said, ’to the people of Miami Beach.’ Mac Polaney
held the paper up in his hands. To
celebrate his new found eminence as mayor-elect of Miami Beach, he
had dressed in a pair of full length blue jeans. His white tennis
sneakers had given way to open toed leather thong sandals. In place
of a red boat-neck shirt, he was wearing a long sleeved pink silk
shirt with Catfish Corners Bowling Team embroidered on the back. ‘Copies
of this paper are being made ready for you members of the press,’
he said. ‘In it, Mayor Cartwright tells how he tried to confuse
the citizenry about the League papers. They were all a fraud, he
said. The only purpose was to draw attention away from his shakedowns
and extortion, which he freely admits to in the letter. ‘He
apologizes to the people of Miami Beach and as the next mayor, I
accept the apology for the people of Miami Beach and cordially invite
soon-to-be former Mayor Cartwright to the annual Catfish-in-June
festival, which will award a hundred dollar prize for the catch of
the largest catfish, even if I warn him not to think about winning
the money, because I am going to be entered and will probably win. In
addition, according to Mayor Cartwright’s statement which I
have here in my hand, he doesn’t need an extra hundred dollars.
He’s got enough money.’ ‘Where
is the mayor now?’ one reporter asked. Mac Polaney
wiped his brow in the heat of the overhead TV lights. ‘You’re
looking at him, bub.’ ‘To
what do you attribute your landslide victory?’ ‘To
clean living and eight hundred international units of Vitamin E each
and every day.’ Remo turned
from the television set. ‘All right, let’s go,’ he
said. He pushed Cartwright out of the dingy waterfront bar and led
him to the end of the dock where they boarded a small outboard motor
boat. In two minutes, Remo was at the Encolpius, following Cartwright
up the gangplank to the main deck. Cartwright still clutched his
money-filled attaché case. ‘Where
is the marshal?’ Cartwright asked. ‘Right
in here,’ Remo said, pushing open the door to the main sitting
room. Cartwright walked past Remo, saw on the floor the bodies of
Dworshansky and his daughter, and turned back to Remo. ‘You
promised,’ he said. ‘Never
trust a politician’s promise,’ Remo said, just before his
hard, iron-wedge hand crashed against Cartwright’s skull. As
Cartwright dropped, Remo said: ‘You peaked too early.’ Remo moved to
the bow of the boat, started the yacht’s engines, and set the
automatic pilot on a low-speed course heading due east. Then he went
down below into the engine room, emptied out one of the diesel tanks,
and spilled its contents all over the engine room. On top of that,
for good measure, he emptied another twenty gallon drum of regular
gasoline, setting a small trail of saturated rags and papers out into
the passage-way. He dropped a
match into the rags which lit with a puff, as Remo ran up the
stairway to the main deck and slid down the steps into his motor boat
which was being pulled along by the powerful yacht. He untied the
ropes lashing him to the yacht, let his boat drift away for a hundred
yards, then started his own motor and aimed the small outboard back
to shore. Halfway to
the shore, he heard a loud thump behind him. He turned around and saw
a flash of fire. He cut his motor and watched. The flames burned
brightly, slowly reduced themselves to a glow, and then exploded with
a crashing thump that resounded in Remo’s ears. Seconds later,
the sea was again still. Remo stared
at the spot for awhile, then turned his attention and his boat back
to shore. Later that
night, Remo watched the television news. It was a
tapestry of complicated story after complicated story. Reporters
hinted that Mayor Cartwright had fled after submitting his confession
to Polaney. They speculated that Cartwright himself had killed
Bullingsworth and Moskowitz because they had unmasked his thefts, and
then had killed Sheriff Clyde McAdow, whose body was found in the
city hall parking lot, because McAdow had tried to prevent his
escape. And then of
course there was Mac Polaney’s overwhelming election victory,
and the television film of his press conference, at which he
announced his first appointment, Mrs. Ethel Hirshberg, as city
treasurer. Mrs.
Hirshberg grabbed the microphone from him and said, ‘I vow to
watch city money like it was mine and to keep an eye on the mayor and
to treat him like my own son, for which I have plenty of time since
my son never even calls me.’ Remo could
take no more. He flipped off the television and dialed the 800
area-code number. It rang.
Once. Twice. Three times. And then it was picked up. ‘Yes?’
said the lemony voice. ‘Remo
here.’ ‘Yes,’
said Dr. Smith. ‘I recognize the voice. Even if it has been a
long while.’ ‘I’ve
pulled your irons out of the fire,’ Remo said. ‘Oh? I
was not aware I had any irons in the fire.’ ‘Have
you seen the news? Polaney’s election. Cartwright’s
confession that the League papers were all a fake.’ ‘Yes,
I’ve seen the news, I wonder where Mayor Cartwright has gone,
by the way?’ ‘He’s
gone to sea,’ Remo said. ‘I
see,’ Smith said. ‘I will carry your report to Number
One. He returns tonight, you know.’ ‘I
know,’ Remo said. ‘We political types keep on top of the
news.’ ‘Is
that all?’ Smith asked. ‘I
suppose so.’ ‘Good-bye.’ Smith hung up
and Remo replaced the telephone, feeling disgusted. He looked at
Chiun. ‘Does
one expect thanks from an emperor?’ Chiun said. ‘I
wasn’t expecting to have my feet kissed if that’s what
you mean. But maybe, just a thank you. Just saying it wouldn’t
have been hard.’ ‘Emperor’s
do not thank,’ Chiun said. ‘They pay for and expect the
best. Just consider yourself blessed that you were almost the city
treasurer of Miami Beach.’ |
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