"Colin Wilson - The Glass Cage" - читать интересную книгу автора (Wilson Colin)

He was interested to see a flicker of relief in Lewis's eyes, and he thought: Of course -- he
wonders how much she's told me. Lewis said, smiling, "I don't think that would solve anything. She'd hate
me and you'd stop coming here."
Reade said nothing, drinking his coffee and looking across at the hairy backs of Lewis's fingers.
Lewis sat back in his chair and seemed to be thinking, staring down at his stomach and at the top fly
button that was undone to allow it room for digestion. When he spoke, he gave the impression of saying
something he had already thought out. "Let me put it this way. You're an old friend of mine -- the oldest
in this part of the country, I suppose. . ." Reade nodded quickly in sympathy, but Lewis was not looking
at him.
". . . and so I'm as concerned about you as about her. Frankly, I'm fond of you both."
He now looked up, his face open and frank, and for a moment Reade was convinced that all this
was unrehearsed.
"So you see, Damon, it leaves me rather a problem. Put it this way. I don't really believe you're
madly in love with Sarah. . . no, let me finish. I think that you're a gentle and good-natured sort of person
who'd say yes to any woman who asked you, even if she was ninety. I don't doubt you're fond of Sarah.
. . But think of another thing. She's always had a schoolgirl crush on you, but are you really doing the
kindest thing by giving way to her? How long do you think she'll be happy in that cottage, living with a
man who spends his days with his nose stuck in Process and Reality? She hasn't thought about it
because a girl of her age doesn't really know what life's all about. But she'll find out by the time she's
twenty. She'll find out that she wants excitement and travel, and perhaps love affairs, who can tell? If she
really knew what she wanted, she'd go and share a flat in London with a girl friend and try to see
something of the world. You must agree that's reasonable?"
Reade nodded gravely.
Lewis went on quickly. "As to yourself, are you sure she'd suit you? She's quite a bright child, but
she'll never understand the first thing about Blake or Whitehead or anyone else. You might meet someone
who could really share these things with you. You see, I feel you're just a couple of innocents who don't
know what you're letting yourself in for. You're about as practical as a dormouse, and she never had any
experience of money."
Reade said mildly, "I wouldn't describe myself as a dormouse. And I'm not all that
inexperienced."
Lewis glanced at him from under the bushy eyebrows, and his face assumed for a moment a
Churchillian. expression. "No? Then let me ask you what might seem an impertinent question. Have you
ever had sexual intercourse?"
Reade said quietly and without embarrassment, "No. Although I almost married once."
For a moment he thought that Lewis was going to laugh, then his face straightened and he said
judicially, "Well, that's perhaps as well from a certain point of view, but. . ." He suddenly sighed and
shrugged. "I just don't know what to say. . . I don't know what to say. . ."
He picked up his coffee cup and emptied it with a determined movement, as if he had suddenly
made up his mind, then went on firmly. "Look here, Damon, we've been friends for long enough for me to
speak my mind. In many ways we haven't much in common. We disagree on almost every important
question. But we like and respect one another, so that doesn't matter much. I suppose this situation gives
me a rather unfair advantage, but I may as well be frank. Let me put it this way. I may not see much of
the world up here, but I think I see more than you do. And I honestly think that you don't have the first
idea of what the modern world's all about. You live in that cottage without ever seeing a newspaper, you
spend your days studying a philosopher who's been dead for a quarter of a century, and then you write
books about the crisis in the modern world. What on earth do you know of the modern world? And
while I agree this doesn't matter a damn while you're writing books about philosophy, it'll matter a great
deal if you've got a wife and four kids. Now look, take a case in point. A policeman calls on you and tells
you about these murders -- which you hadn't even heard of -- and you get so depressed you have to
come dashing over here to talk to me. Is that true or not?"