"Gustav Hasvord. The Short-Timers " - читать интересную книгу автораabout fear-about the fear of pain, of being maimed, of that half-expected
thud of an antipersonnel mine or the punch of a sniper's bullet, or about loneliness, which is, in the long run, more dangerous, and, in some ways, hurts more. We lock our minds onto yesterday, where the pain and loneliness have been censored, and on tomorrow, from which pain and loneliness have been conveniently deleted, and most of all, we locks our minds into our feet, which have developed a life and a mind of their own. Hold. Alice raises his right hand. The squad stops, now, within rifle shot of the DMZ. Cowboy flexes the fingers of his right hand as though cupping a breast. Booby trap? Alice shrugs. Just cool it, man. Our survival hangs on our sniper bait's reflexes and judgment. Alice's eyes can detect green catgut trip wires, bouncing betty prongs, tiny plungers, loose soil, crushed plants, footprints, fragments of packaging debris, and even the fabled punji pits. Alice's ears can lock onto unnatural silences, the faint rattle of equipment, the thump of a mortar shell leaving the tube, or the snap of a rifle bolt coming home. Experience and animal instincts warn Alice when a small, badly concealed booby trap has been set on the trail for easy detection so that we will be diverted off the trail into a more terrible one. Alice knows that most of the casualties we take are from booby traps and that in Viet Nam almost every booby trap is designed so that the victim is his own executioner. He knows what the enemy the warning signals that the enemy leaves for his friends-the strips of black cloth, the triangles os bamboo, the arrangements of stones. Alice really understands the shrewd race of men who fight for survival in this garden of darkness-hard soldiers, strange, diminutive phantoms with iron insides, brass balls, incredible courage, and no scruples at all. They look small, but they fight tall, and their bullets are the same size as ours. A lot of Marines who choose to walk point have death wishes-that's the scuttlebutt. Some guys want to be heroes and if you walk point and are still alive at the end of the patrol then you are a hero. Some guys who walk point hate themselves so much that they don't care what they do and don't care what is done to them. But Alice walks point because Alice thrives on being out front. Sure I'm scared, he told me one night after we'd smoked about a ton of dope, but I try not to show it. What Alice needs are those moments when he can see into what he calls the "beyond." Alice freezes. His right hand closes into a fist: Danger. All of Alice's senses open up. He waits. Invisible birds scatter from tree to tree. Alice grins, sheathes his machete, lifts his M-79 grenade launcher to his shoulder. The "blooper" is like a toy shotgun, comically small. Ancient trees stand silent, a jade cathedral of mahogany columns two hundred feet high, roots entwined, branches interwoven, with thick, scaly vines roped around solid trunks. Adrenaline gives us a high. |
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