"Yuri Olesha. The three fat men (англ.)" - читать интересную книгу автора

The Negro laughed loudly. The red shoes on his long brown legs looked
like huge dried red peppers.
The pipe stem jiggled up and down in his mouth. The doctor was also
laughing and the new spectacles perched on his nose went up and down, too.
Auntie Ganimed flew out of the room.
"The mouse!" she screamed. "The mouse! The Turkish delight! The Negro!"
Doctor Caspar rushed out after her.
"Auntie Ganimed," he pleaded, "there's no need to be upset. I forgot to
tell you about my new experiment. But you could have expected. ... After
all, I'm a scientist, a doctor of many sciences,
I have so many strange things in my workshop. I'm always experimenting.
And you should expect to see not only a Negro there, but even an elephant.
Auntie Ganimed.... Auntie Ganimed! The Negro's one thing, but scrambled eggs
are something else again. We're waiting for our breakfast. My Negro would
like a large dish of scrambled eggs."
"The mouse likes acids, the Negro likes scrambled eggs," Auntie Ganimed
repeated nervously.
"Well, there you are. We'll have the scrambled eggs right now, and take
care of the mouse tonight. We'll catch it tonight for sure, Auntie Ganimed.
There's nothing left for it to do here, it's already eaten all the Turkish
delight."
Auntie Ganimed wept and added her tears to the eggs instead of salt.
They were such bitter tears that they took the place of pepper, too.
"I'm glad you put in a lot of pepper. The eggs are very tasty!" the
Negro said as he polished them off.
Auntie Ganimed was measuring out some drops to ease her heart. The
medicine smelled of carnations.
Through the window she could see Doctor Caspar going out. He looked
fine with his new scarf, new shoes (though they were really an old pair with
good red heels), and new walking-stick.
But there, going down the street with him, was the Negro.
Auntie Ganimed shut her eyes tight and sank down to the floor. She
landed on the cat, which yowled. This was the last straw. Auntie Ganimed hit
the cat. It was always getting under her feet and, anyway, it couldn't even
catch a mouse.
Meanwhile, the mouse found its way into Auntie Ganimed's cupboard,
where it was nibbling away at some almond cookies and thinking sadly of the
Turkish delight.
Doctor Caspar Arnery lived on Shadow Street. If you turn left at the
corner you'll find yourself in Widow Elizabeth's Lane. From there, crossing
the street famous for the great oak split by lightning, and continuing in
that direction you will find yourself at the Fourteenth Market Place.
That is where Doctor Caspar and the Negro were headed. The wind was
rising. The split oak creaked with every gust. A bill poster was having a
hard time trying to paste a notice on a fence. The wind tore the large sheet
of paper from his hands and slapped it against his face. From far away it
looked as if he was wiping his face with a big napkin. But he finally got
the paper plastered, to the fence.
This is what it said: