"Michael Stackpole "I, Jedi"" - читать интересную книгу автора
Expecting a charge, I took a step back. Gantoris' eyes blazed with triumph as if this concession of a meter's worth of territory was somehow a great victory. He gave me a cold smile, then slowly began to pace forward, much like a stintaril stalking a tree-tick. He kept his feet shoulder width apart as he came in, and his knees bent, but I knew the attack wasn't going to be coming until he rose on the balls of his feet and set himself to strike.
My sense that he was going to do just that came nanoseconds before I saw him gather himself for the attack. I almost lost the impression in the violence of his attack, but I'd begun to react to the Force-sense before the attack came in. My blade rose up to the upper right guard while I slipped to the left. I picked up his attack and knocked it aside so quickly that I surprised my-self. Because I had moved out of the line of his attack and was already drifting past his left flank, with a flip of my wrists I could have brought the wooden blade down and across his stomach, but I didn't. Instead, trying to cling to the warning I'd been given, I danced past him and set myself for a new attack.
Another one came hard and fast. Gantoris' blade came up, around and down in a crowning blow that would have split me from skull to navel. I snapped my blade up into the high guard, bracing myself to pick up the blow, but it never landed. Proving himself far quicker than I expected, Gantoris whipped the wooden practice sword around in his left hand and slapped it across my right shin.
Despite the padding on the blade, the blow hurt a great deal. As pain jolted its way up my leg, I tried to remember some of the Jedi techniques for shunting aside pain that we'd been taught, but being in the middle of a fight wasn't the most con-ducive circumstance for meditative arts. As I reeled away, Gantoris slashed at me again, catching me across the back of my thighs, making me yelp aloud.
My face burned with shame. Here I was, someone who was helping instruct the others in self-defense, and Gantoris was slashing at me with impunity. He had me hurt and I was all turned around and vulnerable. My self-image imploded as I read the shock and horror and comical smiles on my friends' faces. In their minds I was victim and clown, and those two images succeeded in grinding the image I'd held of myself as Keiran Halcyon, Jedi Hero, into little tiny bits.
Then I got the very clear impression that the next blow would land on my right ear and do all it could to drive it into my brain. Without conscious thought, I dove forward on my belly, then scissored my legs and rolled over onto my back. My legs tangled themselves up with Gantoris' legs and twisted the larger man to the ground. I brought my own stick around and smacked him across the buttocks, then kicked his legs free of mine.
Gantoris got up, his eyes narrowed, while I just sat on the ground and drew my knees up to my chin. I resisted the urge to rub my shin and forced myself to think past the pain about what had just happened. At that moment when I had been the most vulnerable, when I had been beaten, I had known what he was going to do and I had been able to react to it.
What surprised me was that my access to the Force had come at a point when I had been forced to abandon the image I had been trying to present to the others. Once I got past pretense and had just been what I was, the Force flowed more freely. It was as if the role I had created for myself had inhibited the flow, whereas abandoning the role brought me closer to it.
Perhaps it is not for me to sculpt the Force's flow to my pur-poses, but for me to be sculpted into that which more easily works with the Force.
Gantoris pointed his practice sword at me. УLet us go again.Ф
I tossed my wooden blade aside. УI'm ready. Come on.Ф
УTake up your blade, Keiran.Ф
I shook my head. УWhenever you want, I'm here.Ф
Gantoris looked over at the Jedi Master. УTell him to defend himself, Master Skywalker.Ф
Luke's blue-eyed gaze flicked between Gantoris and me, and then back again. УIt appears he is content with his defensive posture, Gantoris.Ф
The taller man pulled his chin up. УIt is dishonorable for me to strike someone who is defenseless.Ф
Luke smiled. УThen, if you will not strike, he has won. Won without striking a blow. That is a lesson for you to learn, Gantoris.Ф
УYes, Master.Ф
Luke gestured to my sword and it floated back over to me. УThat, however, is not the lesson Keiran needs to learn. If you will, Keiran, defend yourself.Ф
I plucked the sword out of the air and stood. I started to smile and offer a challenge to Gantoris, but I realized that would just be helping rebuild the illusion that choked off my access to the Force. I set myself and offered Gantoris a quick salute. УWhenever you want to start.Ф
He approached cautiously, but as I watched him, bits and pieces of my visual perspective shifted. I saw a second and third image of him arise, with each of them moving to the right or the left, with arms coming up or around and only when his true form rose up to match it would I know where his attack was coming from. I realized the images I was seeing were a sense of his thought processes, a reflection of strategies weighed and rejected. When he made his choice, I'd already seen it and could sidestep it with ease.
Over the next ten minutes we continued to spar. My reading of his intention was far from foolproof, and I had the bruises to prove it. I did notice a pattern: after four or five successful evasions I would become confident and even cocky, which is when the sense would fail me and I'd pay an agonizing price for my arrogance. By keeping myself calm and focused, by letting my senses project themselves beyond my mortal shell, I could feel Gantoris as well as see and hear and smell him. In the end I evaded him for a full minute with only the breeze from his blade hitting me.
His chest heaving and sweat staining his khaki robes, Gantoris leaned heavily forward on his sword. УThis dodging and evading works well against sticks, but it will not protect you against a lightsaber.Ф
Feeling similarly drained, I sat down on the grasses. УI don't expect to face many foes wielding lightsabers.Ф
When it does, beware.Ф
Luke entered the circle and dropped to one knee between the two of us. УWhen that day comes, your progress in the Force will mean you'll have other, better tools to use in de-fense. Remember, today you are in your infancy in the Force. The lessons learned here are but the beginning.Ф
f we were in our infancy in the Force, I was not proving myself to be a boy genius. The warnings I had been able to use, the dim sense of others grew slightly, then plateaued. If I was concentrating or if I wasn't thinking at all, I might notice someone approaching the doorway of my room. This definitely was an improvement over the split-second warnings I sometimes got when flying or back with CorSec, but not the sort of practical application of an ability that would allow me to find Mirax. Measured against that goal, my progress seemed far too little, far too late.
That's not to say I found the training disappointing. I didn't, not at all. In fact, I found in it a great deal about myself that surprised me. I didn't notice new talents or new sides of myself, but I recovered things I had long forgotten.
Master Skywalker took all of us through a series of exercises he said he'd learned from his teachers, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda. The exercises were typically little things that seemed, on the surface, to be child's play. Trying some of them seemed silly, but Tionne and Kirana Ti-the green-eyed witch from Dathomir-and even the hermit gas-prospector from Bespin, Streen, all approached these things with an open wonder and humor that made being silly a lot easier for me.
Master Skywalker stood before us, having arranged us in a semicircle on the grassy clearing near the Great Temple. УThis is an exercise in two parts that will build on what we learned a week ago. What I showed you then was a simple technique for shunting aside pain. Its use is obvious. That same skill also allows you to shut off sensory input. Why would you want to do that? Brakiss?Ф
The blond man gave Luke a smirk. УYour roommate might snore, so you could cut off your hearing to sleep.Ф
The Jedi Master smiled. УVery good. I recall using it for that a couple of times myself. Another reason?Ф
Kirana Ti raised a hand. УSince we rely heavily on visual senses, a visual illusion might blind us to what is truly going on. Being able to cut down or cut out our vision would allow us to determine what is truly happening.Ф
Gantoris frowned. УBut that would leave you blind.Ф
Kam disagreed. УYou would rely upon your ability to sense things through the Force to make up for the lack. Without the visual confusion, this sense should come much more clearly.Ф
Luke raised a hand and nodded. УGood points, all. The key here is learning to control perceptions. First you need to make certain that the data coming in is correct. Filtering out distrac-tions, or sharpening a sense to gather more information, will let you do that. We will work on that in this exercise. The second thing we will deal with, later, is determining truth or falsehood of what you perceive.Ф
I scratched at the back of my neck. УTruth and falsehood seem pretty straightforward to me.Ф
УOn the surface they are fairly clear, but truth can depend upon a certain point of view. As Obi-Wan Kenobi said to me, 'Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.'Ф Luke smiled indulgently at me. УYou would like an example to show this?Ф
I nodded. УI work better with duracrete than I do vapor.Ф УGood.Ф Luke's blue eyes narrowed until they became chips of ice in shadowed wells. УYou all know of Darth Vader as the most vile creature that ever lived. He became a symbol of the Emperor's evil. He personified evil in the minds of many, in-cluding all of you.Ф
Luke's voice dropped to a harsh whisper, forcing us to strain to hear him. УBut I tell you this, he was good.Ф
My jaw dropped open in complete disbelief. УThat's some point of view.Ф
The Jedi Master nodded. УPlease understand this: there was, inside Darth Vader, the core of the man he had once been. Though wrapped in layers of evil, this man still existed. In Va-der's final moments, he won out. He rejected the evil that had become his life. He rejected his master, the Emperor, and killed him.Ф
Brakiss' head came up. УI thought you killed the Emperor?Ф Luke shook his head. УI caused the Emperor to be destroyed by reaching out to the good in Darth Vader and making him change his heart. I was just the instrument of change that al-lowed Darth Vader to redeem himself.Ф
I dimly recalled Luke having said that he had been turned back from the dark side by the love of his sister and friends. УYou must have made a powerful appeal to him.Ф
УI did. Love is a powerful tool to employ against the dark side. My sister's love saved me.Ф Luke hesitated for a moment. УAnd the love of a son for his father is what saved Darth Va-der.Ф
I would like to claim that I instantly tracked the full import of what Luke said because I had been trained as a detective to analyze confessions and figure out what people were truly say-ing. The fact is, however, that with his words came beams of pride and compassion and just a hint of fear that played over me like an ion blast. My flesh puckered and I suppressed a shudder when the realization that Luke Skywalker was Darth Vader's son finally exploded in my brain.
I nodded again. УQuite a perspective there.Ф Knowing how much I revered my father and his memory, I could have nothing but sympathy for Luke. I had been lucky enough to know my father, to have him guide me. Even as we worked our way through these simple exercises, I recall watching my father do some of them when I was a child. As any child will, I imitated him, and he instructed me, telling me it was our private game, and that I should reveal it to no one. He taught me nothing that, in a display of youthful enthusiasm, could have revealed my Jedi proclivities to any of the Emperor's Jedi-hunters. Even so. they formed a foundation for my current training without which I would have been utterly useless.
I had a million questions I wanted to ask him about when and where he learned about his father. I wanted to know every-thing to fill in the background of the familiar Уorphaned hero from a desert worldФ biography we'd all heard countless times about him. The Vader revelation suddenly added depth to what we had been told. At the moment of his greatest victory, he lost the goal he sought. He redeemed his father and lost him at the same time. At least in my case, though I lost my father, I had all the good things about him to remember and cherish.
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