"Help with Negative Self–talk Volume I" - читать интересную книгу автора (Andreas Steve)

Using location in a positive way

You have experimented with how to change a troublesome voice in order to make it less impactful. That same information can be used in reverse to make a positive voice more impactful. For instance, you may have an inner knowing that says something like, "Whatever happens, I am a worthwhile person," or "I know I am capable and resourceful." If this voice is far away and quiet, and doesn't sound very convincing to you, try moving it closer and making it louder. You could try putting that voice into your heart, your chest, or your belly, and find out if that produces a stronger feeling of truth and conviction. Or you can try any other change that you find increases the impact of that voice.

However, you need to be very careful when you do this, so please be very cautious, and extra sensitive to any concerns or objections. There can be some very significant problems with the words that you use, and I want you to know how to avoid these problems before you do much with adding or changing the words that you say to yourself.

For instance, if you have a supportive voice that is in opposition to a troublesome one, making the supportive one stronger can escalate the conflict, and that often causes problems. If a troublesome voice says "You're stupid," and you add a voice that says, "I'm smart," those voices are in direct opposition.

However, if you add a voice that says, "I can learn how to be smart," that voice is not in opposition, because a stupid person can learn to be smart. In fact the implication of "I can learn to be smart," is that the person is not already smart, which is in agreement with the voice that says, "I'm stupid," so there is no conflict.

Small changes in wording like this can be very important to avoid creating conflict. There are some very important criteria for the words that a resourceful voice says to make sure that it really works well to support you. When you learn what those are, you can make changes that won't "backfire" or cause problems that could be worse than the one you wanted to solve.

Another possibility is to first transform a troublesome voice, and then strengthen a supportive one. Avoiding conflict not only makes change much more comfortable, it makes it much easier to do, and much more lasting and useful.

In later chapters we will return to using the information in this chapter positively. I will discuss many other ways to change what a voice says in great detail in later chapters, particularly chapter 10, "Asking Questions." But first I want to explore several other simple ways to change nonverbal aspects of a voice, and its emotional impact on you. The first of these is to change the tempo or tonality.