"The Wizard’s Daughter" - читать интересную книгу автора (Michaels Barbara)

CHAPTER ONE

"Fifty pounds! But, dear Mrs. Jay, I was told that poor dear papa had left nothing at all. Fifty pounds is a great deal of money!"

Marianne's blue eyes sparkled; her silver-gilt curls, escaping from the net, glittered like imprisoned sunbeams; and the dimples that had dazzled so many susceptible Yorkshire youths returned to the places they had abandoned a week earlier, after the death of Squire Ransom.

Mrs. Jay's lips tightened as she viewed her godchild with something less than her usual doting fondness. She did not blame Marianne for the tossing curls or the dimples. The child had mourned her father properly; indeed, Mrs. Jay privately conceded, she had shed more tears for that rude, crude male creature than he had earned.

Perhaps Squire Ransom would have displayed more fatherly interest in a son, who, in good time, might have shared his interests: hunting, drinking, gambling, and… Mrs. Jay's thoughts came to a dead halt. The year was 1880, and Victoria had been on the throne for over forty years; the widow of a clergyman could not even contemplate the squire's favorite hobby without wincing. There was no acceptable euphemism for it.

In any event, the late Mrs. Ransom had not produced a red-faced, thick-set male infant to mirror its father's appearance. (Even in his declining years the squire looked alarmingly like a huge overdressed baby, especially when drink had smoothed out the lines in his moon of a face.) Instead she had born a girl, a delicate pink-and-white creature so unlike her sire that she might have been a changeling from fairyland. Within a few months the dark fuzz common to most infants had been replaced by a cap of soft silvery curls, and the ambiguous newborn blue of the baby's eyes had turned to a startling shade of aquamarine. And she had been as good as she was lovely; instead of howling vigorously when the baptismal water expelled the demons, as so many babies did, the little Marianne had opened her eyes wide and smiled.

Almost eighteen years ago… Mrs. Jay's grim expression as she remembered that perfect day, a day of soft sunshine and gentle breezes, when she had stood as sponsor to the child and her beloved husband had performed the ceremony of baptism. Dear Mr. Jay, now passed to his heavenly reward. She had never addressed her husband by his first name, and still thought of him in formal terms.

Then she realized that Marianne had seen her frown, and that fresh tears had flooded the sea-blue eyes. Young girls were supposed to be full of sensibility and tender emotion, but some of Mrs. Jay's original ill humor remained, and she spoke more sharply than was her wont.

"It is not a great deal of money, Marianne. I only wish it were."

She did not add, as she might with reason have done, that eight pounds of the fifty had been her own contribution, from a life savings that could ill afford any diminution. The remainder of the sum had been made up of similar contributions from neighbors and friends. Squire Ransom had left his orphaned daughter nothing but debts.

There was another fact unknown to Marianne that Mrs. Jay could not explain. As a Christian woman her fortitude ought to have been equal to the task, but it was not. She had only recently learned of the malignant thing that was gnawing at her life and would soon end it; she had faced the fact and the increasing pain without flinching. But she could not tell her darling of her approaching death. It had tried her faith to a degree she would not have believed possible,, not because she was afraid of dying, even in the dreadful manner experience had told her she could expect, but because just at the time when she might have hoped to be of use to the girl, who was as dear to her as a daughter, she could offer no help. She had no means of her own. If she took Marianne into her tiny home, within three months the girl would have to face the prospect she faced now, with the additional burden of having watched her old friend die an agonizing death. No. Better for Marianne to take the necessary action at once.

"You have no notion of money, naturally," she went on. "How could you have, when your father, despite his advantages of age and masculine intelligence, spent his income faster than it came in?"

"He spent generously on my account," Marianne said. "I cannot reproach him for extravagance when he denied me nothing."

"Hmph." Mrs. Jay said no more, but she had her own opinions about the squire's generosity. She had long been a reluctant observer of human nature, and she suspected that Squire Ransom's willingness to spend money on his daughter was an effort to make up for his neglect in other areas.

"At any rate." she said, more cheerfully, "you are well equipped with clothing and other necessities. That will not be a charge on your wealth. Did not Mrs. Maclean complete your new winter wardrobe only last week?"

"She completed it," said Marianne calmly, "and she is presently removing it."

"I beg your pardon?"

"One can hardly blame her. It appears the garments were not paid for. She hopes to alter them in order to resell them."

"Yes, yes, I understand. But what a callous thing to do!"

"Not at all. She has her living to earn."

Mrs. Jay lifted her hands helplessly. The girl's calm acceptance dismayed her. She would have attributed it to the indifference of shock had not Marianne displayed considerable emotion over other matters. She could only conclude that the child did not understand the desperation of her plight, so desperate that even the loss of a few pieces of clothing constituted a major disaster. The bare necessities for the approaching winter would make a sizable hole in the fifty pounds.

The golden fall sunlight pouring in the open windows gave no hint of the bleak months ahead, but it showed, with pitiless accuracy, how badly the squire had neglected his family home. The drawing room's decay was all the more apparent now that the furniture had been carried off by creditors. Fifty years earlier the walls had been hung with imported yellow damask. Bright unfaded squares, where paintings had once hung, contrasted painfully with the shredded remains of the once lovely fabric, stained with damp from the leaking roof. The hardwood floors had been gouged by hunting boots and stained by spilled wine. Over the years Mrs. Jay had mourned the room's deterioration, but on this occasion its ruin seemed to her like viewing the corpse of an old friend. She had not had the courage to inspect the rest of the house, having come only to escort Marianne home with her. Fortunately – for she could not afford to keep a carriage – the cottage was within walking distance, at the near end of the village. Billy Turnbull waited outside with his pony cart for Marianne's boxes and personal possessions. Mrs. Jay reflected, wryly, that his services might not have been needed after all.

They were sitting side by side on one of the window seats. Every stick of furniture in the room had been removed, and through the open doors Mrs. Jay could hear the heavy footsteps and rough voices of the carters who were even then carrying away the last of the squire's property. The late-afternoon sunlight caressed Marianne's curls. No painted saint had ever had such a halo; as the breeze stirred the loosened tendrils they sparkled and flashed. Even her swollen eyelids, reddened by weeping, could not mar the girl's exquisite prettiness, and the somber black frock, hastily dyed by Mrs. Jay, set off her slim figure and delicate coloring. She sat quietly, hands folded in her lap, thick golden lashes shadowing her cheeks; and Mrs. Jay, watching her, felt a pang even more severe than the gnawing ache she had lived with for months. How could she let this child, her heart's darling, go out into the world alone? Her beauty made her even more vulnerable than an ordinary young girl of good family would be. Mrs. Jay reluctantly conceded that the squire had kept his daughter's innocence untarnished; he had not brought his – er – women friends to the house, and even in his cups he was careful of his language. He had once kicked a drinking companion clear through the window when the man forgot himself and bellowed out a vehement "damn."

Only a life of service to God kept Mrs. Jay from cursing His cruelty. If she had only had a year – one little year! She could have used the time to prepare the girl for useful work, or even found her a husband – a gentle young curate or honest tradesman. Her hands clasped tightly and her lips moved in silent prayer. "Thy will be done," she told herself, and half believed it.

A voice separated itself from the general uproar upstairs. It grew louder and more strident as the speaker descended the stairs.

"Take care, you stupid girl, you are letting the flounces touch the floor. If they are dusty you shan't have supper tonight. Now the sash is trailing. How can you be so incompetent? I rue the day I ever took you on. Be careful of the turn there."

Through the open double doors which gave onto the hall Mrs. Jay saw the mute object of these reproaches stagger by. Presumably it was one of Mrs. Maclean's apprentices, but her identity could only be surmised, for she was virtually concealed by a towering stack of dresses. Her own skimpy homespun skirts and heavy shoes looked like an ambulatory gray column under that rainbow assortment: pink ruffles, like cream stained by floating strawberries, a flounce of green gauze the precise shade of young spring leaves, heaps of ice-blue satin and mandarin-yellow silk.

The anonymous bearer shuffled past and disappeared. Her figure was replaced, in the doorway's frame, by the much more substantial shape of Mrs. Maclean. The village dressmaker's skill with the needle was not matched by her personal taste; her brown taffeta gown was trimmed with flounces of a shrieking purple, and her bonnet of the same brown taffeta had birds' wings on either side. Her face was bright red and shining with perspiration; it formed a perfect circle, unbroken except for her false front of auburn hair. Draped carefully over her arms was a ball gown of coral faille, its ivory Sicilienne scarf and train folded up over the full skirt. Atop this elegant heap were a pair of white kid gloves, an ivory fan, and – toes turned in pathetically – two little satin slippers.

Marianne emitted a small, quickly suppressed sound, like the squeak of a mouse under a cat's claws. Her eyes were fixed on the coral-colored heap, and her lower lip trembled. She had tried to harden herself to her loss, but seeing this favorite gown her fortitude had given away; and although Mrs. Jay deplored the exhibition of sensibility over anything as frivolous as a ball gown, she could not help remembering how Marianne had looked in the dress the one and only time she had worn it. Sir Albert Martin's ball, only last month… Marianne had been the undoubted belle, despite the presence of several haughty young ladies from the metropolis of York. Sir Albert's son and heir had been assiduous in his intentions. Mrs. Jay had hoped…

But the loss of Marianne's inheritance had deprived her of that means of being relieved of the poverty that was its result. Sir Albert and the other country gentry would never permit their sons to marry a penniless girl.

Mrs. Maclean paused, her squinting eyes avoiding those of the two women sitting in the window.

"There are two more boxes," she said abruptly. "I shall return for those directly."

"Very well," Marianne said.

That was all she said; but Mrs. Maclean gathered the stiff folds more closely to her bosom as she correctly appraised the girl's hungry look.

"I will lose a great deal of money," she grumbled. "I must sell these at a loss, supposing I am fortunate enough to find a purchaser. Perhaps…" She hesitated for a moment, and then, remembering that Marianne would not patronize her establishment again, and that the vicar's widow had never been a good customer, she added belligerently, "I will take the blue coat and muff as compensation."

Marianne's yelp of distress was quite audible this time. Mrs. Jay rose to her full height, swollen with righteous indignation.

"You most certainly will not. The coat and muff were purchased in London, they were not made by you. Come, Marianne; we had better go through your wardrobe to make sure nothing was stolen."

Mrs. Maclean retreated as the vicar's widow advanced on her.

"But I will suffer a loss -"

"I doubt that. And if you did, it would be trivial compared with the sums the squire has paid you over the years. I always suspected you overcharged him; and goodness knows your profits have not been spent on those starved, overworked girls you employ."

She continued to move forward, and Mrs. Maclean, recognizing a superior will, beat a hasty and undignified retreat. She was muttering to herself as she flounced out, and she took care to make her comments audible.

"Paupers… charity… taking advantage…"

Marianne slipped her hand into Mrs. Jay's.

"You were wonderful! I would never have had the courage to stand up to her. She was always friendly and respectful; who would have supposed she could be so unkind?"

"You will find that adversity brings out the true nature of false acquaintances," Mrs. Jay replied. "And you must learn to defend your rights, Marianne. That coat is far too frivolous for your new station in life, but at least it is warm, and you will need it. Now let us do as I suggested and see what that wretch has left you. I wouldn't put it past her to take things that are not rightfully hers."

Resolutely ignoring the desolation around her, and the rude voices of the workmen, she started up the stairs. In this small way at least she could be useful.

There were after all quite a number of boxes to be taken away. Not all the squire's creditors were as hardhearted as Mrs. Maclean, and the trinkets and frivolities so dear to the heart of a young girl had little monetary value. By the time Marianne's possessions had been transferred to Mrs. Jay's house and put away, the old lady was more than ready for her tea.

There could not have been a greater contrast between two places than the rotting elegance of the manor house and the neat, overcrowded parlor of the cottage. Every table was decently swathed in cloths of heavy plush, and every surface was covered with ornaments, photographs, and the memorabilia of a long, active life. The windows had been sealed against the unhealthy night air, and Mrs. Jay had ordered the fire to be lighted. She felt the cold rather more than she used to.

Marianne found the room uncomfortably stuffy, though of course she did not say so. The day had been unusually warm for the beginning of October. A beautiful day – the last day in her childhood home. She tried to feel sad, but even her memories of "poor dear papa" could not quench her rising spirits. It is hard, she told herself sagely, to think of winter when the sun is shining. Then she smiled. I do believe, she thought, that I have composed an epigram!

Guiltily conscious that she should not have smiled, she glanced at Mrs. Jay. That lady, worn out by woe and emotion, and by another cause Marianne was unaware of, had nodded off, her head resting against the worn leather of the highbacked chair. In her white lacy cap and black gown she resembled the engravings Marianne had seen of a more famous widow, the royal widow of Windsor, who had been mourning her German prince for twenty years. Except, Marianne told herself disloyally, Mrs. Jay had a much more pleasant face than did the Queen. Once she must have been a pretty girl.

A strange little chill ran through her body, despite the excessive warmth of the room, as she contemplated the inevitable tragedy of time; but she was too young to think of disagreeable matters for long, and much too young to believe that such a tragedy could happen to her. Surely, she knew that one day she would grow old; but that would not be for a long, long time. Before her hair whitened and her cheeks grew withered (oh, impossible!) there was a great exciting world to be explored and conquered.

Of course it was very sad that poor dear Papa had died so suddenly. She had enjoyed her first eighteen years of life enormously, for her father was no disciplinarian, and she would have run quite wild had it not been for the admonitions of Mrs. Jay. Marianne loved her godmother and was always amenable to the old lady's suggestions; but Mrs. Jay had been a busy woman, as the wife of the pastor of a large parish always is, and during Marianne's childhood she had not had time to interfere unduly.

Marianne's father had taught her to ride – it was the one skill he did teach her -and he had not objected to her playing with the village children, though Mrs. Jay never failed to point out that they were beneath Marianne's station in life. As a child Marianne had never understood why this should be so. Billy Turnbull and Jack Daws and the others were far cleverer than she. They had taught her many useful things – how to set a snare for a hare (though they never could persuade her to take the poor thing out of the snare), how to fish with a bit of string and a pin, how to play ball and jacks and marbles.

Then, when she was thirteen, Mr. Jay had died, and Mrs. Jay had been free to devote all her time to her goddaughter. She had spent hours coaching Marianne in the manners and skills required of a young lady. Thanks to Marianne's instinctive gentility and affectionate disposition, this task had not proved as difficult as one might have supposed it would be, after thirteen years of neglect. The squire had also neglected the girl's formal education. Her governesses had been of two types: distressed gentlewomen, who found it impossible to adapt to the squire's boisterous life-style and invariably departed in a huff after a few weeks, and women of quite another sort, who adapted only too well and had, thereafter, little time for their pupil.

Fortunately, Marianne liked to read. She had acquired this skill early and had improved it by daily practice. At thirteen she had had no other educational advantages, but the squire, intimidated by the icy courtesy of the vicar's lady, was easily persuaded to make up the deficiencies. "Anything for a quiet life" was his motto. So they came and went – drawing masters, French masters, instructors in dancing and music and German. At eighteen Marianne had the usual young lady's repertoire of half-developed talents: a smattering of French, a soupcon of German, the ability to sketch a pretty stretch of woodland (if the drawing master outlined it first). She had also embroidered half a dozen fire screens and five pairs of house slippers for dear Papa. The squire never wore the slippers, but he thanked her for them nicely, after studying their patterns of pansies and forget-me-nots with poorly concealed astonishment.

Since she had never been told that children are entitled to develop their own personalities, Marianne had accepted the change of routine docilely. She really was a nice girl, with an affectionate heart; and if a bright October afternoon, crisp with frosty sunlight, made her yearn to be out playing tag with Billy and Jack instead of conjugating servir in all its possible tenses, she never said so. The new regime had its compensations. The changes in her body and heart, which coincided with Mrs. Jay's full-time tutelage, made it easier for her to abandon childish pursuits; performing prodigies of Berlin work, she dreamed of the young curate's soulful looks. (This was no adolescent fantasy; the curate was the first of many victims, and Mrs. Jay had been obliged to lecture him about his behavior.)

And there was music.

The squire had, upon demand, bought his daughter the finest available pianoforte, of carved rosewood with puckered silk panels and gold candleholders. Why should he not? He never paid for it, although, to do him justice, he fully intended to do so. If the piano dealer had not gone bankrupt first… Before that, Marianne had heard no music except for birdsong and the earnest but untrained efforts of the church choir. When M. George, the music master, flipped up his coattails, seated himself, and plunged into a Mozart sonatina, Marianne knew what she had been missing all her life. She made astonishing progress with her music, and for several years the squire avoided his own drawing room during the hours of Marianne's practice. She practiced quite a lot, and classical music made him want to howl like one of his own hounds.

The inadvertent mixture of educational styles had, in fact, produced a rather remarkable personality. From Mrs. Jay Marianne had learned that a lady did not acknowledge the existence of her own nether limbs – never to be thought of, much less referred to, as "legs." But before Mrs. Jay took over her education Marianne had watched the stable cats copulate and had been present when the squire's favorite bitch had her litters. Mrs. Jay had told her that ladies swooned at the sight of blood; but in childhood she had often torn up a petticoat to bind the scrapes and bruises she and her playmates incurred. Once she had even cut a fish hook from Billy's "nether limb."

How, one might ask, did Marianne manage to reconcile these opposing viewpoints in her own mind? In the same way most human beings are able to accept the shocking discrepancy between the ideal and the actual; as the merchant is able to nod piously at Sunday sermons adjuring him to relieve the poor and suffering, and on Monday watch complacently as his overworked, underpaid factory children drowse over their looms. As Mrs. Jay herself could trust in the loving kindness of the Creator after beholding countless examples of that same Creator's failure to relieve death, suffering, and pain.

When dusk was far advanced, the vicar's widow roused herself and ordered the candles to be brought in. Gas lighting devices had not reached the village, and if they had, Mrs. Jay would not have tolerated them. On this particular evening the pale, limited light seemed scarcely to relieve the darkness; Mrs. Jay had to force herself to reach for one of the pieces of fabric laid out on the table. Black thread on black fabric – difficult even for young, strong eyes to see. But the work had to be done, especially now, in view of the unexpected diminution of Marianne's wardrobe. Mrs. Jay had bought the black wool herself when the shocking news of the squire's financial situation had become known. At least the girl would have a few decent black gowns to wear when she left for… where? That was the question, and Mrs. Jay applied herself to it with her customary fortitude.

"We must discuss your future," she said.

Marianne, her head bent over a seemingly endless pattern of black braid, did not stop sewing.

"I must find work, I suppose," she said.

"You have, I take it, no other – er – option?" Mrs. Jay inquired. She was sure Marianne did not. The girl had always confided in her.

This belief was, of course, an illusion. No young girl is foolish enough to tell a strict older woman about her romantic daydreams and adventures. Marianne's encounters had been innocent enough; all the same, the flush that spread over her averted face would have been a dead giveaway if the light had been stronger and the vicar's widow had not been distracted.

It would have been better for Marianne if she could have forced herself to tell Mrs. Jay about the particular incident that had caused the blush. The older woman would certainly have interpreted the occurrence correctly, and she might have been shocked into giving her goddaughter a few useful hints.

It had happened that very morning. Marianne had insisted on spending the last night in her old home, and Mrs. Jay had reluctantly agreed, since a few of the servants still remained. The girl had arisen early and had gone for a solitary walk through the grounds, bidding a sentimental farewell to her favorite spots. When she returned to the house she found a visitor waiting.

John Bruton was a neighbor, the son of one of the squire's favorite drinking and hunting cronies. Mr. Bruton was of the new gentry; having made his fortune by the efficient exploitation of child labor in his mills, he had been able to retire from trade and purchase gentility, in the form of a country seat, which he promptly renamed Bruton Hall. His eldest son, John, had been one of Marianne's playmates until he was sent away to school. Returning, he had been astonished to find the hoydenish child grown into a beautiful woman. The fathers had talked vaguely of a possible match, and John had been enthusiastic. Marianne had not. Her dream hero, like that of most young ladies of that period, was dark and slim and melancholy. John's round pink face and plump, sweating hands roused no tremor in her heart.

Still, he was an old friend, and when she entered the hall and found him pacing up and down, irritably switching at the dying plants with his riding crop, she was glad to see him.

"Dear John, how good of you to come," she exclaimed, giving him her hand. "I trust your mother is better today?"

"Nothing wrong with the old lady but overeating. Now you – by Gad, you look absolutely first-rate today, Marianne."

"I don't feel first-rate." With some difficulty Marianne freed her hand and wiped it surreptitiously on her skirt. "Papa's creditors will be here soon – or their agents – I don't really understand what is going to happen, except that they will take everything. These are the final hours. I must leave the home of my childhood, never to return."

"Oh, well – Gad – yes, that's so. You always do put things so well, Marianne."

His eyes fixed themselves on her face with a look she had learned to know, and dislike, over the past months. Marianne turned away. He followed as she walked toward the drawing room.

"Yes," she went on musingly, "the end has come. I will see my ancestral halls no more. The orphaned child must wander, seeking her fortune in the cold, unfeeling world."

This touching sentiment ended in an inappropriate grunt as two arms wrapped around her waist so vigorously that the air was expelled from her lungs. The young man's moist cheek flattened the curls at her temple; his hot breath stirred the tendrils of hair above her ear as he whispered, "It don't have to be that way, m'dear. Er – that is – demmit, I can't talk elegant like you, but- er – I mean – I'll take care of you. No need to wander, eh? Pa don't ask what I do with my allowance, he gives me all I want, enough for a nice little house with a garden- you're fond of flowers and all that – even a carriage, if I can screw a bit more out of the old… oh, Marianne…"

It was not the first time Marianne had felt a young man's arms around her; but when John's hand groped for her breast, encased as it was in layers of corset, camisole, and bodice, a violent thrill of outraged modesty ran through her. She wrenched herself away. Turning, she faced the young man with flashing eyes and a look of such indignant innocence that he actually fell back a step.

Seeing his confusion, Marianne's quick temper subsided. Perhaps,, she thought charitably, he had been reaching for his pocket handkerchief.

"I forgive you," she said coolly. "So long as you promise never to do such a thing again. I esteem you as a friend, but I could never marry you."

John's fleshy mouth dropped open. "Marry?" he began.

A rumble of wheels outside, on the graveled drive, announced the arrival of the first of the carters who had come to carry away the squire's mortgaged property, thus sparing the young man the necessity of an explanation that would have been painful to all concerned.

Marianne remembered this incident as she bent more closely over her sewing. She was not experienced enough to understand why John Bruton's fumbling hands had offended her, as the tentative embraces of other enamored youths had not. Victorian young ladies were not as stupid as their elders fondly believed, but they were, for the most part, armored against rude behavior by the social conventions that made ladies immune from the sexual demands their female inferiors had to accept. What Marianne did not realize was that the death of her father had not only robbed her of a male protector, it had removed the social status that had made her sacrosanct. She only knew that her former playmate's proposal, as she believed it, had been unacceptable – and that she had better not mention it to Mrs. Jay.

Mrs. Jay took her silence for a negative reply and went on with her speech.

"I thought not. Well, one can hardly blame your father for not having made arrangements; you are quite young. And without a dowry, it is most unlikely… I fear that you must indeed consider some means of earning a livelihood."

"I understand that Lady Verill is looking for a companion."

"Out of the question!" In her agitation Mrs. Jay stabbed her needle into her thumb. "Lady Verill is always looking for a companion. She is… Her affliction is of a nature that… It would not do for you."

Lady Verill drank. This fact was well known to all the neighborhood, as was the corollary, that her companions were expected to see that she was supplied with just enough brandy to keep her in a mild stupor. It was no easy task to judge this correctly, and the consequences of misjudgment were horrendous. If sober, the lady fell into deep melancholy and attempted suicide; if too drunk, she flew into a maniacal rage and attempted homicide upon Lord Verill.

"I only suggested it," Marianne explained, "because it would be one means of my remaining in the neighborhood. I see no other opportunities here – unless I attend the next Mop Fair, displaying the proper uniform for the trade in which I seek employment. If cooks wear colored aprons and nursery maids white linen, what is the symbol for a companion, I wonder? A genteel but worn morning dress of gray cambric, adorned only by a neat white collar and cuffs? I might borrow Lady Verill's lap dog."

Mrs. Jay let her ramble on in this vein while she marshaled her arguments. She had no intention of explaining her real reasons for wishing Marianne out of the area. Luckily there were others.

"There are no opportunities in this backward country region. And it would be too humiliating for your neighbors to see you reduced to such a position. I have given the matter much thought, I assure you, and I see no help for it. Your only chance of finding a suitable situation is in a large city."

Marianne dropped her sewing and clasped her hands.

"London?"

"You needn't look so pleased," Mrs. Jay said, with some asperity. "I suppose that like all girls you think of London as gay and exciting. It is a great filthy hive, riddled with sin and vice and crime. However, it happens that I have a friend there who has turned her home into a boarding house for young ladies in your position – those of respectable family, but reduced circumstances. The need for such establishments is so great, and the supply is so limited, that her rooms are in constant demand, but I feel sure that if I ask she will find a place for you."

"Oh," Marianne said.

Mrs. Jay did not notice the flat tone. She was sincerely pleased with her plan; indeed, the recollection of her old friend, so conveniently situated to do Marianne good, was the only bright spot in an otherwise dreadful state of affairs, and it never occurred to her that her description, with its reiteration of "respectable," might not thrill her auditor.

"She also has connections which enable her to place young ladies in respectable situations. It is an excellent opportunity, Marianne, and I can go to my rest – my nightly rest, I mean – with greater peace of mind, knowing you will be in her care."

"It is very kind," Marianne murmured.

"You might accept a position as companion, if the establishment were of the best quality. And, as I have reason to know, your accomplishments qualify you to instruct the young. Then there is your music -"

"My music," Marianne repeated, visibly startled.

"Yes, you play quite nicely. Eventually you might hope to set up as a music teacher, if you are very frugal and save your earnings. That would be pleasant, would it not? Your own rooms, where pupils could come to you?"

"Oh, certainly." Again Marianne bent over her sewing. Unseen by Mrs. Jay, she let out her breath in a sigh of relief. She would not have been at all surprised to find that Mrs. Jay had been reading her secret thoughts; often in the past, when she had meditated some improper act, the vicar's lady had seemed to know precisely what she intended – and had, of course, forbidden it.

She would certainly forbid Marianne to develop the plan she had formulated after the first shock of her father's death had passed and she had realized she was on her own. The girl was not above dramatizing the tragedy of her situation; references to poor orphans and cold, cruel worlds were romantically thrilling; but in fact Marianne was more pleased than intimidated by her freedom. She had the careless self-confidence of a young person who has never been hurt or deprived, and she yearned for excitement. Of course it was sad about poor dear Papa, and seeing her favorite ball dress carried away had been exceedingly painful; but now she could carry out the daring scheme that had oft occurred to her when, angered by some small punishment or frustration, she had vowed to run away from home and seek her fortune. She did play the piano well, and her singing voice had been much admired. The preceding fall, when a well-known mezzo soprano had visited Ripon – had not several gentlemen assured her that she sang the Che faro with much more feeling than did Madame Belledame?

Daunted, at first, by Mrs. Jay's suggestion, Marianne soon realized that the plan would provide no real obstacle to her ambition. The lady who managed the boarding house could hardly chaperone every single one of the respectable young ladies every hour of every day. Once she was actually in London…

A dazzling vision filled her imagination: an elegant theater, marble-columned without, red plush and gilt within; distinguished patrons in formal evening dress, the ladies glittering with diamonds; the Royal Box – and on the stage, the focus of a hundred footlights, she herself (pale blue satin and pearls, ostrich plumes in her hair) bowing, as thrown blossoms littered the boards around her and the applause deafened her, and the Prince of Wales leaned forward, the Garter ribbon across his breast…

Her needle continued to flash in and out, sewing the black braid in a complex scrollwork; but she had learned, long since, to carry out work of this sort while her imagination soared free. So absorbed was she in her fantasy ("Ah, Miss Ransom," the Prince exclaimed, tears moistening his beautiful eyes, "never have I heard…") that she scarcely heard Mrs. Jay's voice extolling the advantages of the genteel boarding house.

The poor lady had her own vision, and it was, needless to say, considerably more realistic than Marianne's. All she dared hope for her darling was a comfortable small apartment, with a genteel pianoforte and genteel students, a canary bird, and perhaps a genteel kitten. Marianne did not notice when Mrs. Jay suddenly stopped speaking, nor did she observe the older woman's pallor.

Later that evening, after they had retired to their rooms, Mrs. Jay unlocked a small cabinet and took out a dark, sticky-looking syrup. She stood holding it for a few moments, an expression of distaste on her face. The doctor had pressed the laudanum upon her in spite of her insistence that she would never resort to drugs. If God chose to afflict her, she would bear the pain. It was not pain that weakened her resolve, but her determination that Marianne should not have worry about her godmother added to her other troubles. Her hand was quite steady as she measured out a careful dose. It was a sin, no doubt. If so, she would suffer the consequences.