"Claw Your Way To The Top" - читать интересную книгу автора (Barry Dave)

Step One: Setting Your Goals

The first step toward your successful business career is to determine your Career Objectives. To do these things, you’ll need a nice sharp number-two pencil and some three-by-five cards. I’ll wait right here while you go get them, okay? I’ll meet you underneath the asterisks on the next page! Hurry back! This is going to be exciting!

(Brief pause.)

The point of the preceding paragraph, obviously, was to get rid of the totally hopeless dweebs who actually think they need three-by-five cards to determine their Career Objectives. These are the same people who you just know are going to write down things like:

1. I would like to work with people.

Which of course is a joke, because it is a proven fact that the more you work with people, the more you hate them. Look at the clerks at any big-city Bureau of Motor Vehicles: They work with people all day long, and their basic approach to human interaction is to make you wait in line as long as possible and then tell you you’re in the wrong line, in hopes that you’ll have a very painful and ultimately fatal seizure, and they’ll get to watch.

So you savvy persons have ruled out “working with people” as a Career Objective. What you want, from your career, is a SENSE OF FULFILLMENT AS A HUMAN BEING and MAXIMUM PERSONAL SATISFACTION as measured in U.S. DOLLARS. You want a Rolex watch and numerous fast cars. You want employees so desperate for your approval that you could put your cigar out on their foreheads and they’d thank you. You want to be able to leave Supreme Court justices on “hold” for upwards of an hour. And you know that you do not get these things by diddling around with three-by-five cards.

Welcome back! Got your cards? Great! Now first, I’d like you to write down, on each card, a Career Objective, such as “working with people.” Okay? I want you to do this until you have listed 800 Career Objectives—you might have to go get some more cards!—and then I want you to arrange them in order according to which objective contains the most vowels, okay? Great! We’re on our way! Call me when you’re done!