"Homes And Other Black Holes" - читать интересную книгу автора (Barry Dave)

Neighborhood Checklist

Note What The Residents Do With Cars That No Longer Function Good Neighborhood: They get rid of them. Bad Neighborhood: They keep them all forever, arranged tastefully on their lawns, as if expecting the Car Fairy to come one night and whisk all the cars away and leave everybody a nice shiny quarter. Note What Kind of Names The Local Streets Have Good: jasmine View Court Terrace Bad: Interstate 95

Note What Kind Of Businesses Are Operating In The Neighborhood Good: Arthur A. Wutherington IV, Investment Banker Bad: Earl’s All-Night Nude Revue amp; Motorcycle Repair Note What the Neighborhood Youths Are Doing Good: Selling lemonade Bad: Selling you your rear wheels back Note What Kind Of Bumper Stickers The Neighborhood Cars Have Good: “SCHOOL’S

OPEN! DRIVE CAREFULLY!” Bad: “I LOVE MY PIT BULL” Note The Types Of Neighborhood Social Activities Good: Barbecues Bad: Cockfights

It also might be a good idea to do some formal research into neighborhood property values by going down to the Municipal Building and getting shunted from one civil servant to another in an increasingly desperate attempt to find one who is not hostile, brain-damaged, or eating lunch, until finally you open fire at random with a semiautomatic weapon. So we can see that this is not, after all, such a good idea, and it probably should not even be included here. Although frankly I doubt that any jury in the land would convict you.