"The girl most likely to…" - читать интересную книгу автора (Donovan Susan)

FIVE

The night rain spat down from the sky, and the wind was cold. Kat scrunched into the neck of her jacket as she walked the cemetery rows, holding the flashlight as steady as she could, the beam landing on one headstone after the next.

She found the words she'd been searching for on a large, oddly shaped slab of stone, the letters appearing as shadows on white marble. /BettyAnn Cavanaugh, devoted wife and mother…/ As Kat bent at the waist to look closer, the rush of pain forced her eyes shut and her mouth open. She heard a piercingly loud scream, but it was only in her head. No sound came out of her mouth. It hurt too much for soundthere wasn't sound big enough for the sorrow and regret inside her. Her mother was gone. Her mother was pinned down in this dirt, under this bizarre, misshapen headstone, Virgil's artistic vision keeping his wife in her place through all of eternity.

Nola's hand moved along the length of Kat's spine in firm strokes. I'm sorry, hon. So sorry Kat's insides twisted. She shook her head.

Let's get you out of the rain. Nola tried to make Kat straighten up.

Come on, Kat. Please. We can come back in the morning and leave her some flowers.

It took a moment, but Kat did stand up. She clicked off the flashlight they'd purchased at the Ace Hardware in Elkins, and shoved it in her jacket pocket. She looked up at the sky, gray clouds moving over an endless blackness. She wondered if that's what it felt like to be deadjust nothing. Black nothing everywhere… /Kat's mother pulled the screen door closed between them./ /I'm sorry, Katharine./ /Are you kicking me out because I'm pregnant or because I ruined his stupid sculpture of the governor's wife?/ /Her mother's mouth turned down at the corners. It was his biggest commission since his New York days./ /Kat couldn't believe her ears. Mom! He was screwing her out in his studio! Don't you even care?/ /I've never once questioned your father's behavior and now is not the time to start. It will be better if you go and let me handle him./ /Kat clutched her stomach, shaky and speechless. Her mother was trying to get rid of her. Her father was a liar and a brute and didn't love his wife and kid. He never had. Seeing this so clearly made her feel like she had no footing, like she was dangling in space. Utterly alone. With a baby inside her./ /So where am I supposed to go, Mama?/ /We'll think of something. With unsteady hands, she opened the screen door a crack and shoved a wad of bills into Kat's palm, trying to cover up her fear with a thin smile. Now, run on over to your aunt Rita's. She knows you're coming. Call me in the morning after your dad's gone to his first class and we'll put our heads together, all right? Now get along./ /Kat stared at the money in her hand, then looked up at her mother's gaunt face and hard eyes, knowing with certainty what she'd always suspectedthat if BettyAnn Cavanaugh was ever forced to choose between her husband and her daughter, the choice would be an easy one./ I'm so cold, Nola, Kat mumbled. So cold all of a sudden.

Nola hooked her arm through Kat's and pulled until she began walking. Of course you're cold. I'm cold. It's cold outside and now we're both soaking wet. Let's get out of here.

Kat sat motionless in the chair, her eyes staring unfocused into the fireplace. Nola brought her a glass of wine, placed it in her hands, then whisked away wads of used tissue that had accumulated on Kat's lap and around her feet.

I'm sorry I'm such a mess, Kat said, afraid to look at her best friend for fear of bawling all over again.

You're not a mess. You're just in shock.

Kat sniffed. Thanks for going out there with me. I just needed to see for myself.

I understand.

Thanks for being here.

Nola was in the kitchenette, clanking around. Hon, I'm not doing anything you haven't done for me a million timesevery time I got dumped, or divorced, or hey, remember that time we found out Joey had been selling my Grandma Tuti's jewelry on eBay? I must have cried for two weeks straight. Nola returned to her chair by the fire. To tell the truth, I'm kind of enjoying being the stable one for a change.

Kat managed a smile.

You want me to stay in your room with you tonight? Now that would /really/ give Madeline something to gossip about.

Kat laughed. After so many hours of crying, the sound of her own laughter surprised her.

You're going to be OK, you know. Nola smiled kindly.

Kat nodded.

You had two moms in your life and you've just lost both of them, and it's got to suck.

Kat nodded again, then grabbed another tissue.

But you can't feel guilty, hon. How could you have known your mom was sick?

Kat blew her nose and blinked at Nola. I could have called.

Nola scrunched up her mouth. True.

Or written.

Nola nodded. Well, OK.

Or knocked on their damn door! But I was pissed off and resentful and I never wanted anything to do with my parents the rest of my life!

There's that, Nola said.

Kat reached for another tissue and laughed. What a jokeI find out my mother is dead and all I want to do is talk to Phyllis, but she's dead, too!

Nola scooted her chair closer. I really miss her.

That woman was amazing, you know? Kat blew her nose. She took me ina complete nobody off the street. She didn't ask any questions. She gave me and my baby a home.

Nola nodded again.

And I think she seemed all that more amazing to me because my actual mother couldn't wait to get rid of me!

Phyllis Turner had the best heart of anyone I ever ran across, Nola said.

She really did. Kat raised her wineglass. To Phyllis Turnera woman who lived every day proud of who she was, nothing more and nothing less.

To Phyllis, Nola said, clinking her glass to Kat's. Whose investment instincts weren't too shabby, either.

They sat for a few minutes in the quiet. Nola put a hand over her mouth to hide her yawn and Kat checked her watch to find it was after eleven.

It had been one hell of a long day, for everyone.

Kat stood up. C'mon. Let's both get some sleep. She walked Nola over to the door. Would you mind if we hit the road as early as possible tomorrow, before anything else bad can happen?

Nola looked confused. What about your aunt Rita, the evil high school principal? Weren't we going to drop in and give her a piece of your mind? Wasn't she on the list of people who owe you an apology?

Kat chuckled. The list they'd come up with on the drive that morning seemed ridiculous now. I don't have an extra piece of mind to spare at the moment. Maybe I'll write her a letter when we get home.

Sounds good. Nola stretched. Sleep tight, Kit-Kat.

You, too. Hey! Wait a sec.

Nola turned back, yawning again.

I won't keep you much longer, but look, I know this is probably going to sound dorky You've never had a dorky moment in your life, Kat, except maybe for those yellow plastic snow boots you had back in the early nineties.

Thanks. So what I was wondering isdo you think anyone could know what love is at the age of sixteen?

Nola moved her head back in surprise. You're asking for /my/ opinion on relationships?

Well, yeah.

Hmm. She scrunched up her mouth. I guess it depends on the person. I sure as hell didn't know love at sixteenor at twenty-one or thirty or thirty-sevenso I'm maybe not the best example. This is about you and Dr.

Bohunk, I'm assuming.

Yeah.

You think it was love?

Well, if it wasn't, it was as close as I ever got. Probably as close as I'll ever get.

Nola opened her arms and gave Kat a hug. As Nola pulled away, she focused her rich brown eyes on Kat's. Hear what I'm about to say. Are you listening?

Kat nodded.

Don't you dare give up, Kat. If anybody deserves to be rich, beautiful, and in love, it's you, and you're already two-thirds of the way there.

Thanks.

And I know you came here for revenge and all, but leave your options openyou might walk away with something even better. See you in the morning.

Kat locked the door behind Nola and went into the bathroom to wash, exfoliate, tone, infuse, and moisturize her face with the obscenely expensive skin-care system she'd purchased from the spa several days ago. She remembered thinking to herself that nothing was too extravagant if it meant Riley would be rendered weak in the knees at the sight of her glowing beauty. Well, the way she was feeling right then, Riley Bohland could just shove her glowing beauty right up his tight ass.

How could he be so cold and unfeeling to her? Sure, he was angry about Aidan, but hadn't Riley missed her at all? Didn't he care what had happened to her all these years? Why didn't he throw his arms around herif only out of curiosity?

Kat brushed her teeth, flossed, and turned out the bathroom light, trying to decide if what she felt inside her belly was a heaviness or an emptiness, or if there was such a thing as a heavy emptiness or an empty heaviness, and whether she should look into therapy now that she had the free time and disposable cash for it.

She threw on a cotton tank top and a pair of drawstring pajama pants, then went out into the sitting room to turn off the gas fireplace. OK, fine. Maybe this suite wouldn't be so bad for a honeymoon. It was cute and comfortable, and the bed sure was romantic. Kat guessed that if two people were really in love it wouldn't matter what the surroundings were. After all, an old blanket had once felt like a magic carpet to her and Riley.

Kat swiped what she was sure would be the last tear of the evening from her cheek and climbed up the bedside step stool, allowing her lonesome self to fall into the embrace of the gigantic four-poster monument to romance.

She'd just closed her eyes when she thought she heard a soft knock on her door. She held her breath and didn't move. There it was again. Kat climbed down the ladder and tiptoed into the sitting room. Someone was most definitely knocking at her door.

Kat, a man's voice whispered. It's Riley. Let me in.

I know; I know! Carrie switched the cell phone to her other ear and cringed with impatience. I followed him here from Davis Memorial. I'm sitting a block away in my car and, frankly, I can hardly believe what I just witnessed. How could you let him in? How could you do that to me?

Madeline's voice sounded hurt. What was I supposed to doleave him out there on the porch, banging on the door, disturbing everyone? I've got other paying guests here this weekend.

Fine. Carrie nibbled on the last rice cake in the package, calculating that with rice cakes at thirty-five calories each, she could have just eaten a jumbo-sized Snickers bar and gotten some real satisfaction, then thrown it up. Just make sure he doesn't stay long.

Madeline sighed. Carrie, I can't just barge in on people. My guests are entitled to /some/ privacy.

That made Carrie laugh. Little late for the high road, don't you think, Maddie?

I'm just saying

Get him out of there.

How am I supposed to do that?

Oh, I don't know! Damn, damn, damn! Carrie rooted around in her purse until she found the pill bottle, opened it, shook one out and stuck one on the back of her tongue, then swallowed. Don't forget to leave the kitchen door open so I can use your bathroom tonight.

Madeline groaned.

Carrie snapped closed her cell phone. Right then, she saw a light go on behind the honeymoon suite window. She knew which window it was. She'd stayed in that room many times over the years, whenever the occasion rendered it tasteless to stay at the Bohland House. That's how she and Madeline met. Carrie had been a guest at Cherry Hill many times during the course of the diabetes study. She had been a guest there the day of Aidan Bohland's funeral. A year later, she stayed there for Matt's swearing-in ceremony as chief of police. And she'd been a guest the day of the clinic's groundbreaking, when she'd smiled for the local papers like it was the happiest day of her entire life! But it wasn't.

That illustrious day had been stolen from Carrie a year ago, when Riley was told he'd knocked up a high school skank named Kat Cavanaugh and he had a teenage kid roaming the country somewhere. It had taken Carrie twelve long months to get Riley's head screwed on straight, and nothingno thing and no onewould stand between her and her happiness again.

Carrie relaxed her neck and shoulders and breathed deep, seeking her peaceful center. She closed her eyes to allow the positive energy to flow through her. She envisioned the bridal bouquet of red roses and holly. She pictured each miniature ice sculpture centerpiece adorned with mistletoe, glowing atop a contrasting red velvet tablecloth. She felt the snowy satin of her dress brush against her skin, the luxurious whisper of white chinchilla at the dйcolletage and wrists.

Her moment would come in seventy-four days. If it was the last thing she ever did, she would place one foot in front of the other and float her way toward the altar in the cutest little pair of kitten-heeled satin beaded slippers this earth had ever seen. /That conniving ho!/ Carrie grabbed the phone again. First she paged the love of her life.

Six times. No response. Then she called his cell. No answer. Then she called his answering service and demanded they page him with an emergency. She was informed that he'd already changed over for the night to the doctor in Bowden, who was covering for him.

Do you want the doctor in Bowden?

Carrie stared at the phone in horror, hanging up without a response because, no, she didn't want the fucking doctor in fucking Bowden. She wanted Dr. Riley-Fucking-Bohland. And she was going to get him.

Kat stood in the doorway wearing pajamas and an expression of bewilderment. Riley decided that without the fringed boots and the haute couture, Kat seemed smaller. Softer. And as lovely as every one of the thousand fantasies that had kept him company over the years.

Why are you here, Riley?

He tried not to stare and failed miserably. He stared at the way her hair swept back from the gentle angles of her face, the barely noticeable tremble in her plump lower lip, the delicate movement of the tendons in her neck. He stared at the sweet, small left hand that gripped the edge of the door, noting the lack of a wedding band. He stared at the rounded curve of her breast, the slope of her waist, the flare of her hip. He stared at the ten bare toes that looked so defenseless and pink against the dark hardwood floor.

He breathed deep, the essence of his youth rushing into his nostrils and straight to his brain, because Kat smelled the same. Even after all this time.

Riley shoved his hands in his pants pockets, which accomplished two thingsshe wouldn't see his hands shake, and it would keep him from doing the most stupid thing he could imagine: crushing her in his arms and never letting go.

I'm sorry you had to learn about your mother the way you did. And I'm sorry about Virgil, too.

Kat nodded, crossing her ankles and folding her arms in a blatant display of full-body self-defense. Yeah. Thanks. You know, I always thought a person had to have a heart before they could have a heart attack.

The force of Kat's bitterness caused Riley to tilt his head away. He stared into her familiar face, the delicate jaw now rigid and the honey-colored eyes hard. She might smell the same, but pretty Kat Cavanaugh had become as tough as rawhide.

He waited several moments for Kat to ask more questions about her mother. Kat didn't. She just scowled at him.

Riley blew out air through his mouth. We need to talk.

Kat stiffened, but she opened the door and motioned for him to come in.

It felt strange to be with Kat in a room where Carrie had stayed so many times. He closed his eyes momentarily in disgust, aware that Carrie had been stun-paging him for the last half hour. He double-checked that his phone and pager were on silent, only to see her numbers flash on the screen for what had to be the fifth time in as many minutes.

Busy night? Kat gestured for him to take a seat in one of the chairs.

No. I got someone to cover for me so I could spend time with you.

One of Kat's beautifully arched brows rose in a question. He could see her pulse pound under the translucent skin of her throat. Something to drink? she asked.

Sure.

Kat took a couple steps toward the tiny kitchen, grabbing a cotton hoodie sweatshirt from the counter as she went. Riley nearly groaned with disappointment when she put it on and zipped it up all the way to her chin. Not very subtle. Now he couldn't look at her throat and her breasts and the flesh of her bare arms.

Nola and I opened a bottle of red wine earlier. Will that work for you?

The phenomenon started as a faint rumbling, somewhere deep in his chest.

Then it rose to a roar, circling through his trunk and limbs shooting up to his brain. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt, and it was scary, yet exhilarating. Riley wondered if Matt would be able to hear the /snap!/ from his place across town.

Riley jumped to his feet, hands flying as the words came rushing out. It will not work for me! Nothing's fucking worked for me for twenty years!

You took my child from mehe was my child as much as yours, Kat. How could you do that? How could you leave with my baby and never even let me know?

Kat turned back to face him, her mouth open in disbelief. She laughed sharply. You told me to get lost. Perhaps that had something to do with it.

Riley could not believe this. Really? And maybe you never bothering to tell me I had a child was the lowest, most despicable thing a person could do to someone else, let alone someone they claimed they loved.

Kat's face flushed red and she stomped toward him. Right. Fine. I made a serious error in judgment and I apologize. And how about you, Riley? You said you loved me, that we would be together forever; then you threw me away like I was a piece of garbage.

Rage, lust, and loss pummeled Riley's body. He raced from one emotion to the next so fast his brain couldn't keep up. He'd dreamed about this moment for a yearhow he'd eventually find Kat and make her accountable for her selfishness. But now that the moment was here, nothing was clear. He had no idea what to say, let alone what he wanted. Because all he wanted was to hold her again, feel her soft weight against him from head to toe, disappear into the sweet, hot scent of her skin, and that would be a huge mistake. It wasn't even an option. He had to gain control of the situation, and himself.

He stepped closer. I was a stupid kid and I was so in love with you that it scared the shit out of everybodyme, Big Daddy, my coaches, everyone who wanted to see me make something of myself.

A sickeningly sweet smile spread across Kat's face. How nice for you all, then.

You don't understand. He stepped closer, but Kat held up a hand to stop him.

This isn't going to work, she said. Virgil was absolutely right. I never should have come here. You need to leave now.

Damn you, Kat! Riley lunged at her and grabbed her by the shoulders, locking his eyes on hers. She squirmed to get away from his grip, and though he'd never held a woman against her will before in his life, he felt he had no choice. Stop it. Just stop it, he said, his heart nearly shattering as he saw the real fear in her eyes. How could she be afraid of him? He loosened his grip and spoke gently. If you listen to nothing else I say tonight, you have to hear what I'm about to tell you.

He took her silence as his green light.

That afternoon at the quarry when I broke up with you, I was just trying to get Big Daddy off my back for a little while. That's all it was! It was a stupid thing to do, and I was at your house that night, ready to beg you to take me back, and BettyAnn told me you'd run away for no reason!

Kat's face went blank. Without warning, she shoved so hard against his chest that he had to step back to keep his balance. His hands fell away from her shoulders.

She threw me out, Riley. Plenty of things happened that day, but me running away for no reason sure as hell wasn't one of them.

What she did was wrong. He inched his way closer to Kat as he talked, his hands outstretched, palms up. But you should have come to me. You should have told me. You could have lived with us and I would have taken care of you and the baby!

Kat snorted, resting her hands on her lovely cotton-covered hips. I did come to you, Riley! I tried to tell you I was pregnant! That's the reason I asked you to meet me out on the quarry road.

Riley's chin dropped toward his chest with the weight of that information. God, Kat.

And forgive me, but I'm having a real hard time picturing me and my love child living happily ever after with Mayor Bohland and his boys.

She turned her back to Riley and walked into the kitchenette. He couldn't stop himself. He hated her for what she'd done, but she was so beautiful and he'd once loved her so muchand she was right in front of him in a pair of pajama pantsso he watched her ass move as she walked.

She was still such a tight little package of How the hell did you find out about Aidan? Kat spun around in time to catch his eyes scanning her backside. Still an ass man, Riley?

He was still a Kat man; that's what he was. Holy God, this situation was going downhill as fast as his dick was rising.

Let's sit down, he managed to croak out.

I don't want to sit down. She frowned at him. I'm going to pour us both a glass of wine and I'm going to stay on this side of the counter and you're going to stay on that side.

You're still stubborn.

Kat nodded curtly as she poured the wine into two large goblets, obviously planning what she was about to say. She handed him his wineglass, then clinked hers against it. Let's toast to my stubbornness, then. And my amazing luck. Because those were the only two things that kept your kid alive all this time, so I wouldn't knock it if I were you.

Cheers.

Riley put down his glass without taking a sip. He hated that she was so glib, like she was the only one hurting here. But she was the only person on earth who could tell him what he needed to know, so he swallowed his own anger. Tell me everything.

She shrugged, sipping her wine. We're both going to do exactly that. And you're going to start by telling me how you found out about Aidan.

Riley leaned his elbows on the counter, looking up into Kat's golden eyes. He remembered how, in the sunshine, he used to try to count the tiny flecks of brown and green. He used to get lost in her eyes. He was afraid that he still could. Your mother died of lung cancer last September, Kat. She'd been one of my patients for a whilein fact, she was one of the first to sign up when I got out of residency and began to practice here.

I can't believe you came back to Persuasion.

Well, I had no choice. He took a sip of wine. Money was tight and I accepted a whole boatload of local scholarships to attend med school, with the promise of coming back here to set up shop.

But you wanted out of here as much as I did.

Yeah. I wanted out with you. Once you were gone, it didn't matter so much anymore.

Kat gave him a tentative but genuine smile. It was the first he'd seen since October 1987.

I thought you were a construction worker, Riley. So when you walked into that exam room tonight, I thought I'd die.

Riley laughed. Did he dare allow himself to think she was warming up?

The construction project is the Persuasion Rural Health Clinicmy baby.

State grants we'd counted on fell through a few months back, and the whole town has been pitching in to make sure the clinic gets up and running. I was hoping by some miracle to open by Christmas.

Kat nodded. Good luck with all that. Now tell me about my mom.

Riley ran his fingers along the goblet's stem, choosing his words carefully. She'd been sick for about six months. As she was dying she asked your dad to leave the room and told me to come close. She told me you'd had a boy and it was mine. She told me you were living in a small town in California, but she died before she could give me any more details. /California?/ Kat's wineglass hung in midair. I've never been there in my life.

Riley shrugged. That's what she said. I hired a private investigator out there, and when he came up empty-handed, Matt and I went out to look for you. We followed leads that took us to fifteen states, and I can tell you with authority that you are the country's best-looking Katharine Cavanaugh.

Kat set down her glass. Her mouth was pulled tight, but he could see her hands tremble. I never saw or spoke to my mom after I left that night. I don't know where she got her information. It was wrong.

She was right about the child, wrong about the location.

Kat's voice went soft. Did she suffer?

Riley nodded. She was in pain, though we tried to make her as comfortable as we could at the end. He studied Kat's eyes, trying to figure out what feelings lurked behind there. There was certainly something going on. Did you win your fortune as a card shark by any chance?

Kat snorted in surprise. Excuse me?

You've developed quite a poker face.

She raised her chin and walked past him to the chairs in front of the fireplace. She collapsed in one and pulled her feet up under her in silence.

Riley returned to his chair and propped his elbows on his knees. He stared at her profile. The same small nose and pouty mouth. The same graceful neck. She had grown into her looks. As a teenager, she had been cute. As a woman, she was flat-out beautiful. And cunning. How the hell did you make it, Kat? You were only sixteen.

Like I said. I was lucky.

How so?

She avoided looking in his eyes. I hitchhiked out of town and ended up in Baltimore. As she talked she glanced around the room and down at her perfectly groomed fingernails. A nice lady took me in, got me hooked up with prenatal care, and got me in a GED program.

Is this woman a relative?

Nomuch nicer than any relative I ever had.

Go on.

So I worked part-time at a flower shop and took evening classes at the community college. She watched Aidan for me. I lived with her for seven years, until I was working full-time and had the money to rent my own place.

Riley felt his eyes bugging out of his head. Your parents never tried to find you?

Never.

You never contacted them?

No. And I used another name so they'd never be able to track me down.

Riley's mouth fell open. Shit, Kat. You were serious.

Kat still didn't look at him. I was.

Riley shook his head. And what about me? Did you ever tell our son about me?

When Kat's gaze finally connected with his, Riley saw something that went way beyond stubbornness. I told him I didn't know who his father was. Kat squared her shoulders, ready for a fight. I did it to protect him.

A shout of surprise escaped from Riley's mouth; then he felt a deep stab of hurt. This woman had it so unbelievably wrong, for all this time! For God's sake, what exactly were you protecting him from? His history? His family? Being /loved/?

Her head snapped back like Riley had smacked her. You told me to get lost. I did. She swallowed hard. Is this your way of telling me you're going to sue me?

Riley blinked in bewilderment. Sue you for what?

Well. Kat looked down at her hands, then returned her gaze to his face.

At the construction site you mentioned that your lawyer would Riley laughed, setting his wineglass on a nearby table. Kat, sweetheart, the best lawyer in the world couldn't wrangle me any satisfaction out of this huge fucking mess.

OK. Kat sat up straight, readying herself for whatever more he had to say.

Because what I want is the twenty years you stole from me, all those years that my son was a baby, then a kid, then a young man. How's a lawyer going to get me that?

Kat's eyes remained steely, but her chin began to quiver. I did what I had to do, Riley. I'll be right back. She hopped up and ran into the adjoining bedroom, Riley catching a glimpse of that huge bed as he followed her movement. God, he wanted to throw Kat up on that high mattress and devour her until two decades' worth of emptiness had been filled up with passion. Love.

He still loved her. After all the damage she'd done to his life, he still loved her. It was as if seeing her again flipped a switch in his soul, adjusting the setting back to the way he was when he was sixteen, full of passion and dreams. It was hard to believe, but he'd just lost his temper! He was practically drooling on Kat, he wanted her so badly.

He was thawing out. He was coming alive.

Then she was back, standing at his side. This is the only photo I have with me. It's his high school graduation picture. You can keep it. I put his cell number on the back. I'll send you more.

Riley cradled the wallet-sized photo in his palm, almost afraid to look.

The instant his eyes made contact with the image, it felt like the rest of the world peeled away in layers, leaving only the core of his soulthis teenager in a clearly uncomfortable suit and tie, with too-long black curls and intelligent blue eyes. If Riley didn't know better, he'd think he was looking at Matt, circa 1992.

Oh God, Riley whispered. That's really my boy.

I didn't realize how much he looked like you until today. Kat's voice sounded far away as she settled back in her chair. I have to tell you, I took one look at you at the construction site and Riley's head dropped. He couldn't carry the weight of the grief anymore, and he cried. Kat's hand reached across the space between them and she stroked his knee.

I am so sorry, Riley.

He looked up, not caring that she saw him this way. You could have found a way to tell me. He let the tears fall down his face. You underestimated the hell out of me, and you cheated me out of my own life, /our/ life! Who's going to give me back the twenty years I could have had with /you/?

Kat's eyes got wide.

Fuck this. Riley stood up. This was no time for caution or reasonhe'd spent twenty years hog-tied by caution and reason. Riley glanced once more at the face of his child, tucked the photo into his pants pocket, and did what had to be done.

He pulled her to her feet and held her by her upper arms. Damn you, Kat.

He pressed his mouth to hers. There was so much hunger in his attack that she yelped in surprise. But she gave in. Within seconds they were feeding at each other, clutching at each other, the tears flowing, moans of desperation filling the room.

Kat managed to move her mouth from under his long enough to gasp, I hate you for throwing me away like you did!

I hate you for keeping the truth from mefor twenty fucking years, Kat!

How could you /do/ that?

Their mouths went back to work. Kat's hands were all over the buttons of his shirt. She was unbuckling his belt and unzipping his chinos. He had his hands in her hair, then up under the hem of her sweatshirt and little tank top, and his hands were on her breasts. Riley groaned as soon as his palms covered her nipples. He remembered this. His heart and his body remembered this well.

I used to love you so much, Kat whispered.

I loved you, too.

You were my whole life, she said.

You were mine.

I'm not sure I should be doing this.

I /know/ I shouldn't.

Riley picked her up and threw her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. With one hand he grabbed his pants to keep them from puddling to the floor, then staggered through the double doors into the bedroom. He threw her on the bed, ripped off his clothes, and got a leg up on the bed frame so he could dive on top of her.

I am so fucking angry with you, he said, tearing her pajama pants off her body.

I hated you! I hate you still! Kat reached for him, her nails digging into his biceps, her poker face gone. I was so lonely! You were the only thing I had to hold on to! Do you have any idea how lost I was? I've been lost this whole time, right until right this second. Why didn't you run after me? /Why couldn't you find us?/ Riley reached under her soft body and gathered her to him. He kissed her. He tried to take away the pain with that kiss, heal her, make everything OK if only for that instant.

Kat pulled her mouth away from his and whispered in his ear, Please, Riley. Don't break my heart again. I'm afraid you're going to break my heart again.

Never. He kissed her throat, collarbone, licked the swell of her breasts.

We're making a mistake. She gasped from the pleasure of his tongue flicking on her nipple. This will be too hard.

The only thing that's hard is me. Riley raised up on his elbows and let his cock nudge between her legs. She looked into his face, unsure, vulnerable, and filled with desire.

I need you inside me, she whispered. I'm going to die if I can't feel you inside me.

That was all he needed to hear. With a single thrust he was in deep.

Immediately, the heat of the pleasure began to burn away layers of pain and uncertainty, and he knewthis woman and her boy were his life. They'd always been. This woman was his destiny.

Riley insisted that the lights stay on. He didn't want one more precious second lost, one image obscured. They were together againthis time it wasn't some fantasyand through sex and love they would suck the marrow out of their lives once more.