GOOD FRIENDS, LOUSY HUSBANDS

I asked that very question to Charlotte, the English journalist. "I'll tell you why," she said. "I've gone out with some of those guys—the ones who are short, fat, and ugly—and it doesn't make any difference. They're just as unappreciative and self-centered as the good-looking ones.

"By the time you get to your mid-thirties and you're not married, you think. Why should I settle?" Charlotte said. She said she'd just turned down a date with a beautifully eligible, recently divorced forty-one-year-old banker because his unmentionable was too small. "Index finger," she sighed.

Then Sarah beeped in. She'd just gotten money to make her first independent film, and she was ecstatic. "This idea of

women not being able to get married? It's so small-minded, I can't even deal with it. If you want to get these guys, you have to shut up. You have to sit there and shut up and agree with everything they say."

Luckily, my friend Amalita called and explained it all to me. Explained why terrific women are often alone, and not happy about it, but not exactly desperate about it, either. "Oh honey," she cooed into the phone. She was in a good mood because she'd had sex the night before, with a twenty-four-year— old law student. "Everyone knows that men in New York make great friends and lousy husbards. In South America, where I come from, we have an expression: Better alone than badly accompanied."