"IMAGINE SAYING NO"

"One of the girls in my threesome; she loved to have sex," Jim said. "She'd had sex with all the guys we know."

"Wait a minute," Chloe interrupted. "How do you know she actually had sex with them?"

"Because Ian had sex with her," Jim said. "Ian had sex with her, and he said she loved to have sex with every guy."

"But how does he know?" Chloe said, indignant. "Maybe she only liked having sex with him. That's what's wrong with you guys."

"Her idea is that she can be like a guy," explained Ian. "Her idea is: Why do women have to be different from men? If a man can have sex with every girl he wants, why can't she have sex with every guy she wants?"

"Look at Simon," Jonesie said. "He wants her name and phone number right now."

Jim continued: "The other girl was the opposite of the first girl. She was kind of virginal. She'd had two boyfriends in her whole life. Anyway, these two girls had moved in together. And the crazy girl changed the life of the virginal girl, because a week later, the virginal girl was ready to sleep with everyone.

"We're all good friends," Jim said. "I had slept with the crazy girl, and the virginal girl was a girl I'd been pursuing for a year. We went to see a movie, and afterwards we got a bottle of wine and went to their apartment. We drank the whole bottle of wine."

"But that's only three and a half glasses," Chloe objected.

"There was a time when you, too, Chloe, could get drunk off of three and a half glasses of wine," Tad said.

"Okay," Jim said. "So we went back to their apartment and drank the teeny, tiny, little bit of wine that we had, and afterward, me and the crazy girl went into the bedroom—it was one of those bedrooms where the bed takes up the whole space so the only place to hang

out is on the bed. So me and the crazy girl started fooling around. She wanted the other

her. She was walking around the apartment, trying to do her own thing. Walking into the bathroom and then the kitchen. Back and forth."

"What did she have on?" Simon asked.

"I don't remember," Jim said. "But we finally grabbed her hand and pulled her into the bedroom."

"And then you raped her," Simon said.

Jim shook his head. "Nooooo. We sat her down on the bed and just started touching her. Rubbing her back. Then we pulled her down onto the bed. The two girls were apart, so I just started putting one girl's hand on the other one's chest. And then the girls got into it. I was still involved, but I was trying to creep away, just to watch. After that, they went around and did it with everyone in New York. They probably did it with twenty guys from Buddha Bar."

Ian also had a story. "One time, I was having sex with a girl and there was another girl in the bed," he said. "At one point, I looked at this other girl and our eyes locked. And for the next five minutes, we were just staring at each other. That was the kicker. That's when it was great. That was intimate."

Peter Beard, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, suddenly spoke up. "Imagine saying no to a threesome," he said. "What an asshole you'd have to be."