Plan 2020

Russia News

Sensation ! Sensation !

Truth ? Or provocation ?

Ones, who meaning learn and give – those, who Plan’s will outlive.

(Mihylach, ye stupid berk ! Who names articles as such, huh ? – a note of the editor-in-chief)

Top secret !

(Or for administrative use at the very least, - a note of the editor-in-chief)

As we have learnt, unique fragments from speeches of ancient Indian Dalaj-Llamas, entitled precisely “Plan 2020”, have recently been acquired by ubiquitous Chinese hackers. By means of extreme efforts and entire box of very strong drinks two of our translators managed to transliterate a part of ancient Sanskrit records from Chinese to Russian. Cannot translate it backwards, though.

As it’s well known for all semi-and-almost enlightened beings, mankind has been promised some wonderful New World for a long time, in which those who haven’t died on the way will once be able to come. Terms, unfortunately, were always indistinct and foggy, and that has generated a lot of coffee guessing together with other perversion, but all earlier predicted dates and terms have appeared to be nothing more than past.

Perhaps, these given fragments will be able to shed some light on the Doomsday date (and who are the judges ? – a note of the proofreader), as well as on some results of its coming.

As we were told by two of our translators, they managed to overpower the translation of text fragments,  speaking about how the geopolitical map of the world will change in (near?) future – or, to be more exact, how some of the countries, known to us, will be called.

And now we present the given fragment to your valuable (how much in $? – a note of the proofreader) attention.

Russia → Chinisia (heck, does that mean that my children are gonna to be narrow-eyed ? - a note of the proofreader)

USA→ DSA, Disjointed States of America (a fitting destiny ! - a note of the proofreader).

France → Faniggeria (Obama Sarkozy ? - a note of the proofreader)

Germany → Aaria (Angry Arians, no ? - a note of the proofreader)

Italy → Volcania (dunno know, dunno know …, - a note of the proofreader)

Poland → Treacherland (I have never trusted them ! – a note of the proofreader)

Ukrain → Stealin (do they have better options ? – a note of the proofreader)

Great Britain → Great Disastrian (plop-plop-plop ? – a note of the proofreader)

Japan → Japorobotia (Possible, a hint on mythical technological innovations, hmmm ? – a comment of the proofreader. More likely on consequences of mass application of an anime, - a comment of the translator).

Iraq→ Gloom (no comments, - a comment of the proofreader)

Iran → Uranium (nuclear louse ! – a note of the proofreader)

Israel → Crazyrael (remained without trousers without States …, - a note of the proofreader)

Canada → Calaska (what matters is that they have not encroached on our Siberia !, - a note of the proofreader)

India → Hindija (Gigglendia ? – a note of the proofreader)

Mongolia → Mogolia (who’s that Mogol, aye ? – a note of the proofreader)

Brazil → Braztilia (Bastilia ? – a note of proofreader)

Afghanistan → Poppystan (Red Alert ? – a note of the proofreader)

The republic of South Africa → SSAA, Successful State of the African Race (I hope they haven’t their own Barrack Obamas, at the very least, - a note of the proofreader)

Note : the given list in partially incomplete for two aforementioned translators have not yet recovered from their own Doomsday after having consumed above-named quantity of warming up drinks.

Expect more sensations in following releases of our newspaper !

Yours faithfully, - a comment of the editor-in-chief.