"No longer virgin" - читать интересную книгу автора (Finch R W)

CHAPTER TWELVE

"Where the hell have you been?" Sander asked irritably when Wendy walked through the front door. And then, abruptly, his face softened and he exhaled loudly. "I've been sitting here for over an hour."

"Oh…" Wendy said slowly, handed him his mail. "I met a really nice girl in the building and she invited me over for a drink. Anyway, it's not even six o'clock. I didn't expect you home until much later or I would have been here."

"Something's happened," Sander said carefully, and Wendy glanced at him curiously. He said flatly, "Sherry killed herself last night."

"What!" Wendy gasped. She felt an icy chill grip her spine, actually considered the ridiculous possibility that he wasn't serious, that he was playing some joke on her for some reason. One look at his face, however, and she knew that he told the truth. "How?" she asked numbly.

Sander shook his head helplessly. "She climbed in the bathtub and slashed her wrists and the inside of her thighs. The apartment manager found her about noon today."

"My God!" Wendy sat down heavily on the carpeting. Trembling, she rolled over and curled herself into a ball, had broken out in a cold sweat. "My God."

Sander just sat looking down at his hands, unwilling or unable to say anything further. He finally stood up, then slowly walked out into the kitchen. He called to Wendy, "Would you like a drink?"

She didn't answer, lay staring blankly at nothing, her eyes open wide. She felt as though she had actually murdered her thin ex-roommate herself, as though – if not holding the knife or razor or whatever Sherry had used – she had at least pushed the girl into doing it. The oddest sensation passed over her, a sensation that made her feel like a spectator at a play, made her feel like she was merely watching from a distance, far enough away to be almost objective. She was amazed at her lack of tears, knew they would come eventually and in great quantity, but was for the moment somehow holding herself in check.

Wendy realized suddenly that she had to get away, had to get as far as possible from Sander, from his apartment, and from anything else that would remind her of what Sherry had done. And, more importantly, why she had done it. Wendy finally stood up and ran to the bedroom, began quickly throwing open dresser drawers and pulling her clothes out, tossing them on the bed. She found her small knapsack, filled it, cramming everything in without regard to how it would look when she unpacked it again. She was finished in a matter of minutes. She kicked Sander's bedroom slippers off her feet and sat down on the bed to put her shoes on and noticed for the first time that Sander stood silently in the doorway.

"Running away from home?" he asked quietly, his expression telling her nothing. "You're packing and leaving? Just like that?"

"Just like that," Wendy nodded grimly, but wouldn't look at him. "She killed herself because of us. If I stayed with you it would only compound the guilt I already feel. I… I'm sorry – for both of us."

"Maybe we could work it out together," Sander said. "Are you sure you have to go?"

"I'm sure. I seem to be making a habit out of running away when things get rough, but it's the only way I know. You… you can keep the money you were going to give me for making the movie. I couldn't take it now… I really couldn't."

"Where will you go?"

"I'll find something," she shrugged, standing. "I've still got a little money of my own left and I don't eat much."

"Are you going back home?" he asked. "Back to the farm or wherever it is you're from?"

"No," she shook her head. "I… I can't go back. I feel like I've been through too much, like I'm too… too corrupt to go back to my family. Anyway, don't worry about me, I'll manage." She picked up her knapsack, walked out into the living room, Sander following her.

"I hope you will manage," Sander said slowly. "Take care of yourself I mean it. And call me and let me know how you're doing."

"I will," she lied, knew that she wasn't fooling him. "Good bye, Sander."

"Good bye, baby."

And Wendy opened the door and stepped purposely out into whatever it was her uncertain future would bring.