"HOMES" - читать интересную книгу автора (Barry Dave)

might want to write this down, because it is the core philosophy of this
entire book--I try not to think about it. Trust me, this is the best way. If
God had wanted us to spend all our time fretting about the problems of home
ownership, He would never have created beer.

This is not to say that I am recommending that you totally ignore your
responsibilities as a homeowner and just sit around all day with a beer can in
your hand. No indeed, I have long been a believer in purchasing bottled beer,
and pouring it into a chilled glass. "If you're going to do something, do it
right"that is my motto, and you will find that throughout this book I have
made every effort to present all relevant house-owning information as
accurately and completely as possible given the fact that I am making almost
all of it up.

Which is not to say that I am unqualified to write this book. I have
bought and sold several homes in my day, although I will admit that in the
case of our current home, I never even saw it until after I signed the
agreement of sale. My wife, Beth, did the actual shopping. This is because I
get extremely nervous in sales situations. I will do absolutely anything to
please the salesperson. Usually, in stores, I can flee on foot before a
salesperson gets to me, but if I don't get away, I'm a dead man. Like, if I'm
walking through Sears, and I happen to pause for just a moment in the major
appliances section, and one of those Sears appliance salespersons in polyester
sport jackets comes sidling up and says, "Can I help you?" I instantly go into
a state of extreme anxiety and say: "Yes, I'll take one of these, please,"
pointing to whatever major appliance I happen to be standing in front of, even
though we probably already have one.

So I am a bad person to have on your side in a real estate sales
situation. I drive my wife crazy, because I always want to buy whatever
structure we happen to be standing in:

Me: Well! This looks perfect!
My WIFE: This is the real estate broker's office.
ME: Well, how much are they asking?

This is why I was not actively involved in the purchase of our present
house. But I still have to help pay for it, which is why even though you may
not be thrilled that you bought this book, I'm certainly glad you did.


CHAPTER 1
Getting Ready To Get Real Depressed


DECIDING WHICH HOUSE TO BUY

In deciding which house to buy, the first thing you have to do is
determine your Price Range, using this simple formula: