"How to survive in a Lovecraft story" - читать интересную книгу автора (Call of Cthulhu RPG)

Subject: How to Survive in a Lovecraft Story

I wrote this a while back, and while I originally had Lovecraft's
original 20's-era fiction in mind, a good many of these suggestions might
prove of benefit to DG agents today...

Note: these are tips for survival should one find oneself in a piece of
Lovecraftian fiction. Attempts to apply them to a CoC game campaign should
be undertaken only with extreme caution.

1: If you find yourself in a position to acquire your ancestral estate
(castle, manor house, etc.), *don't*. Especially if it's built on a cliff
or overlooking a bog. Just trust that your ancestors moved away from there
for a *reason*, and steer clear of the place yourself. Don't even go there
on holiday.

2: Never read *anything* whose author was reputed to be mad.

3: If, while dreaming, you find your dream-self going down a long
flight of steps toward a gate, *turn around*. *Go back up.* Settle for a
nice wet dream featuring a supermodel of your choice instead.

4: *Don't drink the water*. 'Nuff said.

5: Any electronic equipment you may bring along for the purpose of
artificially enhancing your sensitivity to unknown phenomena, or for
recording such phenomena, will only increase the likelihood of you going
insane and/or getting eaten. Just stick with a flashlight (if you really
*must* be able to see where you're going; even that is often ill-advised) and
a really good pair of running shoes.

6: Buy a gun, but use it *only* in the following situations: if somebody
you know comes to you claiming to have been dispossessed of his/her body,
which is then subsequently inhabited by an alien intelligence, *shoot that
person*. You're doing him/her a favor. Likewise, if you ever suspect that
your own mind has been has been displaced by another, just go ahead and
shoot yourself. Avoid the stress and aggravation.

7: In all other situations, *leave the gun at home.* You'll only drop it
in your mad flight to safety anyway.

8: Avoid fog, mist, shadows, darkness, and anything or any place that
smells bad. Avoid primeval forests, caves, cemeteries, charnel houses,
abandoned buildings, and the sea.

9: Break off friendships with anybody who tends to capitalize the
following words in their writing: "Old," "Elder," "Ancient," "Chaos,"
"Evil," "Dweller," "Lurker," "and "Horror," especially if any of these words
are used in combination with one another or with the word "God(s)".