"Paul Di Filippo - Two CC's of Bestseller, Stat" - читать интересную книгу автора (Di Filippo Paul)

I underwent the same procedure in my other ear.

тАЬFeel all better?тАЭ asked Dr. Gutenberg as I sat up.

тАЬNot one hundred percent....тАЭ

He cupped his chin and pondered. тАЬWeтАЩll have to perform a
papier-m├вch├й full-body wrap. Take off your shorts.тАЭ

I complied. The doctor secured and plugged in a little electric pot.

тАЬElectric glue pot. From J. Hewit and Sons. By appointment to the
Queen and all that. Top quality stuff. Just like this plough blade.тАЭ

Dr. Gutenberg flourished a big wood and rubber spatula.

тАЬNow, just relax.тАЭ

In a short time I was completely coated with sticky, smelly paste from
the neck down. Dr. Gutenberg began to rip pages out of a different book.

тАЬFirst edition Walden. Guaranteed to restore complete health.тАЭ

Soon I was immobilized like a mummy. Curiously, I began to relax
and feel better. Perhaps it was just the fumes from the glue pot. I drowsed
off peacefully.

But I was jolted awake by waves of pain as Dr. Gutenberg ripped
ThoreauтАЩs prose from my body! I screamed, and flailed about, accidentally
grabbing Dr. GutenbergтАЩs mask.

The naked face of the the тАЬdoctorтАЭ was immediately recognizable to
me!

тАЬYouтАЩre Harry W. Schwartz the Fourth!тАЭ

тАЬNo, no, IтАЩm Dr. GutenbergтАФтАЭ

I climbed down off the table. тАЬThereтАЩs no such thing as the
Schwarzenegger-Clinton Public Safety Act, is there? That entrance scanner
is a fake!тАЭ

The mock doctor caved. тАЬYes, yes, IтАЩll admit it! Sales were down at
the store, and we came up with this scheme. The nurses are my nieces,
and the contemptuous patrons were illegal immigrants hired from the Home
Depot parking lot. And those werenтАЩt true first editions, just Weston Press
reprints! Practically worthless, we get them for two dollars a carton.тАЭ

Now the smell of the glue registered with me. тАЬAnd this binderтАЩs paste
is just melted brie!тАЭ