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Stan Dryer
Now I must get back to Zorphwar. Twenty more successful missions, and I move up to Sector Commandant!
Megalo Network Message: July 6, 1977
Source: W.S. Halson
Destination: P. T. Warrington
Subject: Enclosed Certificate
Congratulations, Fleet Captain! I am pleased to transmit to the facsimile printer in your area a copy of your certificate suitable for framing and wall display. Note that it is a fine example of computer-generated art, a project that a couple of my people have been working on for the last six months.
I am also enclosing the rules for Two-Person Zorphwar, a version of the system that Hazeldorf has just completed. Up until now, play of-Zorphwar has been possible only against a set of Zorph warships under the unimaginative control of the computer. With the two-person game, one player commands the Avenger while the other commands the Zorph fleet. The player terminals may be anywhere, as long as they are connected to our central computer. Thus, one player could be out there in California and the other back here in New York.
Megalo Network Message: July 13, 1977
Source: P. T. Warrington
Destination: W. S. Halson
Subject: Doom of Warship Avenger
Earthling Swine! I, Parker, Emperor and Commander and Chief of the Hordes of Zorph, do here give warning. Tomorrow afternoon at 14:00 hours I shall commence the obliteration of all decadent hu-manoid pigs in my galaxy. Be at your console at the appointed hour! You are forewarned but foredoomed.
Megalo Network Message:
July 15, 1977 Source: W. S. Halson Destination: P. T. Warrington Subject: Zorphwar Exposure Park Baby, I think we have a problem. That was a great game of
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Zorphwar we had yesterday, and I most commend yon on how weU you handled the forces of Zorph. It was a challenge all the way, and if I had not been on my toes, your final desperate tactic of launching an twelve thousand of your doomsday torpedoes would have destroyed me. However, when you made your attack, I was safely docked at a base star and thus protected by its powerful energy screens. Your attack succeeded only in wiping out the remnants of your own forces.
Unfortunately, launching twelve thousand torpedoes simultaneously put a serious overload on our computer system. Zorphwar runs at A-l priority on our machine, which means that any other use of the machine is halted while Zorphwar computations are completed. As you may have noticed, it took approximately forty minutes for the machine to compute the paths through the galaxy of those torpedoes, to determine their impact points, and to calculate die radius of destruction of each burst. Normally such overloads are handled by adjusting the work load in the Computer Center. However, at three thirty yesterday, the Center was in the midst of printing the paychecks for the entire Computer Products Division. The little delay our game occasioned upset the very tight schedule for that operation. As a result, all checks from R through Z were not printed on time and failed to make the courier flight to the West Coast That is the reason your paycheck was not delivered to you today. Regrettably, it is also the reason that Division President Tailing and Corporation Comptroller Westland were not paid this week. While you are more familiar than I am with the personalities at Headquarters, I Хaspect that both of these gentlemen like to receive their paychecks. I trust that, if any investigations come out of this little incident, you will do your best to emphasize the fact that the Zorphwar program has already been modified to permit the launching of no more than tea doomsday torpedoes in one attack. Thus, this particular problem on never occur again.
Megalo Network Message: ' July 18, 1977
Source: P. T. Warrington
Destination: W. S. Halson
Subject: Zorphwar Development Schedule
KU, Old Man: You were right as to the reaction of our President and Comptroller. The old stuff really hit the fan with about a dozen
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Stan Dryer Zorphwar!
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ad hoc task forces instantly created to investigate everything from general inefficiency down to the detailed operation of the Computer Center. Someone immediately spilled the beans about Zorphwar. (I suspect it was J.L., covering his ass.) Friday afternoon Westland came slamming into my office to ask about a thousand questions about our schedules and the cost of running Zorphwar. I tried to get him to try using the program, but he was too upset to listen to reason. He gave me one hour to produce a full report justifying the project and went storming back up to the executive wing. I'm afraid that your ass and mine would have been in the sling but for a stroke of incredible luck.
When Westland left, I headed for the men's room to down a couple of aspirin to steady my nerves. And who should I meet coming out of the door but Admiral Venerate. Venerate and I are old buddies, having been together on the Potlatch Investigation Team some eight years ago. At that time I proved there were no irregularities in the award of the Potlatch missile contract to Megalo. Venerate proved that the Navy had done nothing wrong. I was promoted to this staff position. Venerate moved up to Admiral.
"What brings you to the Megalo Corporation?" I asked him, trying to affect the nonchalance of a happy executive.
"I have just been given the ultimate garbage presentation," he said. "Your boys should know better than to try to snow me about naval-training games."
I smiled and spoke some platitudes about the vast technical expertise available at the Megalo Corporation and their ability to respond quickly to any technical challenge.
"Damn it," said the Admiral, "I don't want technical expertise. I want a working system."
The old light bulb went on inside my head. "You want a working system?" I said. "You follow me."
I led the Admiral into my office and fired up Zorphwar on the tube.
"Now before you play," I said, "you must understand that we did not wish it known we were working on a proposed naval system. Thus, we have pretended that we are fighting a space war of the future against the mythical race of Zorphs. The weapons you will be using will not have the standard Navy nomenclature, but you'll have no trouble recognizing what they really are.'*
"Smart thinking," said Venerate. "Now how do 1 get this game HBrted?"
'When Westland came charging back into my office an hoar later, he found the Admiral hammering at my console keys and shouting bis best Navy profanity at the Zorphs who had just zapped him for fifteen-hundred energy units.
"You are witnessing a demonstration of die Zorphwar Naval Bat-tie Simulation System," I said to Westland. "A valuable training aid, ft is a product of the research staff of the Megalo Corporation Programming Services Department"
Westland stood there with his lower jaw down around his ankles watching Venerate polish off the last of the Zorph fleet The Admiral turned around grinning like a child of ten who has found a pony under the Christmas tree. "That is what I call action!" he cried.
He turned to Westland. "How come you dunderheads didn't show me this right off?" he demanded,
By now, I am sure, the Naval Support Bid Team has descended upon Programming Services to begin costing out the proposal for a production version of Zorphwar. They are talking about a system with one hundred terminals running on two Megalo 861's for starters. Eventually they may order a dozen 861's. Everyone here in Headquarters is too excited about the prospect of selling that kind of hardware to worry about why the program was written in the first place.
Megalo Network Message: August 26,1977
Source: W. S. Halson
Destination: P.T. Warrington
Subject: Zorphwar Contract
Park, Old Friend: I just want to bring you up to date on the Zorphwar contract The team of programmers and technical writers is in place. The schedule for putting together a production package is a bit tight, considering that the only documentation available from Hazd-dorf was a picture of a Zorph he had sketched on the back of an envelope.
Speaking of Hazeldorf, I was a little disappointed in his reaction to the project When I explained to him what this contract would mean to the Megalo Corporation and how I expected him to assume a leadership role in the production of the final package, he simply
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Sum Dryer