"Robert A. Heinlein - To Sail Beyond the Sunset" - читать интересную книгу автора (Heinlein Robert A)

(Gulp.) No one I knew. No one I would choose to bed with, even were he in
perfect health. Which he was not; that side of the bed was soggy with blood.
(Two gulps and a frisson.) He had bled from his mouth - or his throat had
been cut; I was not sure which and was unwilling to investigate.
So I backed away and looked around for my clothes. I knew in my bones that
this bedroom was part of a hostelry; rooms for hire do not taste like private
homes. It was a luxury suite; it took me a longish time to poke through all the
closets and cubbyholes and drawers and cupboards et cetera . . . and then to
do it all over again when the first search failed to locate my clothes. The
second search, even more thorough, found not a rag - neither his size nor my
size, neither womenтАЩs clothes nor menтАЩs.
I decided willy-nilly to telephone the manager, tell him the problem, and let
him cal the cops - and ask him for a courtesy bathing robe or kimono or some
such.
So I looked for a telephone.
Alexander Graham Bell had lived in vain.
I stopped in frustration. тАЪName of a dog! Where have they hidden that
frimping phone?тАЩ
A bodyless voice said, тАЪMadam, may we offer you breakfast? We are proud
of our Harvest Brunch: a lavish bowl of assorted fresh fruits; a tray of
cheeses; a basket of freshly baked hot breads, crisp breads, and soft breads
with jams and jellies and syrups and Belgian butter. Basted baby barlops en
brochette; drawn eggs Octavian; smoked savannah slinker; farkels in
sweetsour; Bavarian strudel; your choice of still and sparkling wines,
skullbuster Strine beer, Mocha, Kona, Turkish and Proxima coffees~ blended
or straight; all served with -тАЪ
I repressed a gagging reflex. тАЪI donтАЩt want breakfast!тАЩ
тАЪPerhaps Madam would enjoy our Holiday Eyeopener: your choice of fruit
juice, a roll hot from our oven, your choice of gourmet jams or jellies, your
choice in a filling but non-fattening hot cup. Served with the latest news, or
background music, or restful silence.тАЩ
тАЪI donтАЩt want to eat!тАЩ
The voice answered thoughtfully, тАЪMadam, I am a machine programmed for
our food and beverage services. May I switch you to another programme?
Housekeeping? Head porter? Engineering?тАЩ
тАЪGet me the manager!тАЩ
There was a short delay. тАЪGuest services! Hospitality with a smile! How may I
help you?тАЩ
тАЪGet me the manager!тАЩ
тАЪDo you have a problem?тАЩ
тАЪYouтАЩre the problem! Are you a man, or a machine?тАЩ
Is that relevant? Please tell me how I can help you.тАЩ
тАЪIf you are not the manager, you canтАЩt. Do you run on testicles? Or
electrons?тАЩ
тАЪMadam, I am a machine but a very flexible one. My memories include all
curricula of Procrustes Institute of Hotelier Science, including all case studies
updated to midnight yesterday. If you will be so good as to state your
problem, I will match it at once with a precedent case and show how it was
solved to the satisfaction of the guest. Please?тАЩ
тАЪIf you donтАЩt put me through to the manager in nothing flat, I guarantee that