"Franz_Kafka_-_Diaries_1913" - читать интересную книгу автора (Kafka Franz)

Yesterday met B [his old governess]. Her calmness, contentedness, clarity, and lack of embarrassment, even though in the last two years she has become an old
woman, her plumpnessЧeven at that time a burden to herЧthat will soon have reached the extreme of sterile fatness, her walk has become a sort of rolling or shuffle
with the belly thrust, or rather carried, to the fore, and on her chinЧat a quick glance only on her chinЧhairs now curling out of what used to be down.



3 May. The terrible uncertainty of my inner existence.


How I unbutton my vest to show Mr. B. my rash. How I beckon him into another room.


The leper and his wife. The way her behindЧshe is lying in bed on her bellyЧkeeps rising up with all its ulcers again and again although a guest is present. The way
her husband keeps shouting at her to keep covered.


The husband has been struck from behind by a stakeЧno one knows where it came fromЧknocked down and pierced. Lying on the ground with his head raised and
his arms stretched out, he laments. Later he is able to stand up unsteadily for a moment. He can talk about nothing except how he was struck, and points to the
approximate direction from which in his opinion the stake came. This talk, always the same, is by now tiresome to the wife, particularly since the man is always pointing
in another direction.



4 May. Always the image of a pork butcher's broad knife that quickly and with mechanical regularity chops into me from the side and cuts off very thin slices which fly
off almost like shavings because of the speed of the action.


Early one morning, the streets were still empty up and down their length and breadth, a man, he was in his bare feet and wore only a nightshirt and trousers, opened the
door of a large tenement on the main street. He seized the two sections of the door and took a deep breath. УMisery, oh, damned misery,Ф he said and looked,
apparently calmly, first along the street and then at some houses.


Despair from this direction too. Nowhere a welcome.


1. Digestion. 2. Neurasthenia. 3. Rash. 4. Inner insecurity.



24 May. Walk with Picker. In high spirits because I consider УThe StokerФ so good. This evening I read it to my parents, there is no better critic than I when I read to
my father, who listens with the most extreme reluctance. Many shallow passages followed by unfathomable depths.



5 June. The inner advantages that mediocre literary works derive from the fact that their authors are still alive and present behind them. The real sense of growing old.


LЎwy, story about crossing the frontier.