"James Patrick Kelly - The Propagation Of Light In A Vacuum" - читать интересную книгу автора (Kelly James Patrick)

Then we go to bed.
(Why don't you show them Mr. Boy? It's so layered. Every time I watch it,
I see things I'd missed before.)
Truth to tell, I'm awfully sick of my old stuff, so why don't we just skip
to the bells? It's an advantage I have: I don't necessarily have to stick
around through the boring parts. From my inertial framework, I can clearly
see that sequence is an illusion. At reasonable speeds, time's arrow
appears to travel in one direction only, from the past to the future. But
I'm moving at an irrational velocity.
So the bells wake me. I thought I knew every noise the ship could make but
I've never heard this before. My imaginary wife is confused too. We query
the computer from bed. It responds that all internal systems are green; it
detects no unusual sounds. The blood stirs within me as I listen to the
bells contradict its dry report. I can feel neurons firing in my
fingertips; tears burn my eyes. You don't realize what this means: after
all the deadening sameness, a life-giving mystery! I roll out of bed and
run naked to the control room. Nothing here has changed. The external
screens are still blank. The instrumentation is conspiring with the
computer. I notice that the bells are harder to hear on the bridge.
They're coming from elsewhere on the ship. The ringing reminds me of
church bells that call the faithful to service.
My imaginary wife wants us at the airlock. You don't have to wait for me,
I'll get there as soon as I can.
(It's not my fault. When he imagined me, he did better work than he
thought. Exceeded his limitations. He needed more than a mirror, so now I
love him for my own reasons. I do love him; you must understand that. It's
just that we can't go on like this. He's afraid to change because that
might unblock his memory. But he wants me to change -- and I have to
remember. It wasn't just him, they did it to one another. The halls reeked
of blood. At the end he was able to pull back from the madness. He found a
way to survive. I have to do the same.)
What have you told them?
(Listen.)
This is the place, isn't it? The bells are ringing just outside the hull.
(Do you understand what they're saying? They're calling me to become real.
I can't stay anymore. I've reached my destination.)
I wonder if this is how the others went. Varina. They answered the call of
the bells. The bells. The bells are very loud here. You can't ignore them.

All right, I'll admit I'm scared. But when she turns her face up toward
me, it doesn't matter. I love her. I don't want to lose her too.
(Will you come with me? I can't live without you.)
The ship seems different; the computer must have missed something. I'm
sure of it. I can feel a stillness in the deck beneath my bare feet. The
vibrations have stopped. I'm shivering, as if the cold of space has
breached the seals of the airlock.
(It's not space out there. It's nothing you can imagine. That's why we
have to go. To see for ourselves. It's why they went. Maybe they're
waiting out there for us.
Varina, waiting. How will I explain my imaginary wife to her? What will