"James Patrick Kelly - The Propagation Of Light In A Vacuum" - читать интересную книгу автора (Kelly James Patrick)

they think of one another? It's impossible.
(Everything here is impossible and yet you've created it. Make me another,
a better world. I believe in your abilities.)
She reaches up and cycles open the exterior hatch. Now there's only the
interior hatch left. A single barrier between me and the absolute. The
bells are deafening. The ship's hull rings like a bell.
(You can do whatever you set your mind to.)
I watch my finger extend toward a flashing blue button. I no longer
control my actions. Her trust sings down my arm. My muscles twitch with
her faith in me.
But you, you've already decided what's beyond the hatch. Majority opinion
wants me to pull back. Don't touch that button, you say, don't kill
yourself. But what if you're wrong? You're seeing this from a different
point of view; you're still locked in the logic of spacetime. String
theory tells us that the dimension of the observer is all important. How
can you possibly hope to know what is happening outside a starship that
has exceeded the speed of light? You can't hear these incredible bells.
And despite everything I've said, you still don't accept my imaginary
wife. Has anyone ever believed in you as much as she believes in me?
When I press the button, the hatch irises open. My imaginary wife and I go
together.
At first, I don't understand what's happening. I'm sprawled flat on the
floor of my room and I'm disoriented, groggy. I must've fallen out of bed.
I can feel the ship's vibration in my cheekbone. It's as if the decks were
ringing, except there's no sound. Something's wrong.
"Varina?"
She's not where she's supposed to be. My face is stiff, as if I've been
crying. I notice the scratches on my wrist. Four sticky scabs that look
like bad body makeup. Blood hammers in my head as I pull myself back onto
the bed. I toggle the intercom. Silence.
The rooms on either side are empty. No one in the library or fx. The
control room: abandoned. There's an odd animal stink in the air. I race
through the ship, bouncing off walls like a madman.
(You're not crazy.)
I find her standing beside the airlock. I don't recognize her at first.
She's pale. Dazed. Her chin trembles and she comes into my arms.
(Please, please tell me you're not crazy.)
I always hated it when Varina cried. She used her tears as a lever to move
me. I wouldn't be here if she hadn't sobbed. Now I realize that if I don't
help this one, she'll fall apart too.
"Who are you?"
She pulls away from me and sniffs. I've said the right thing.
(Who do you want me to be?)
She smiles then and I fall in love. It makes no sense, but there it is.
Impossible things happen, she tells me. There's a kind of music to her
voice. When she talks, I hear bells.

й James Patrick Kelly 1990, 1997
This story first appeared in Universe, edited by Robert Silverberg and
Karen Haber.