"Daniel Keyes - Flowers for Algernon UC" - читать интересную книгу автора (Keyes Daniel)
The way I said it, he knew I was angry, and he looked surprised. УYes, of course. Now I want you to look at this one. What might this be? What do you see on this card? People see all sorts of things in these inkblots. Tell me what it might be for youЧwhat it makes you think of.Ф
I was shocked. That wasnТt what I had expected him to say at all. УYou mean there are no pictures hidden in those inkblots?Ф
He frowned and took off his glasses. УWhat?Ф
УPictures. Hidden in the inkblots. Last time you told me that everyone could see them and you wanted me to find them too.Ф
He explained to me that the last time he had used almost the exact same words he was using now. I didnТt believe it, and I still have the suspicion that he misled me at the time just for the fun of it. UnlessЧI donТt know any moreЧcould I have been that feebleminded?
We went through the cards slowly. One of them looked like a pair of bats tugging at something. Another one looked like two men fencing with swords. I imagined all sorts of things. I guess I got carried away. But I didnТt trust him any more, and I kept turning them around and even looking on the back to see if there was anything there I was supposed to catch. While he was making his notes, I peeked out of the corner of my eye to read it. But it was all in code that looked like this:
WF+A DdF-Ad orig. WF-A SF+obj
The test still doesnТt make sense to me. It seems to me that anyone could make up lies about things that they didnТt really see. How could be know I wasnТt making a fool of him by mentioning things that I didnТt really imagine? Maybe IТll understand it when Dr. Strauss lets me read up on psychology.
April 25 I figured out a new way to line up the machines in the factory, and Mr. Donnegan says it will save him ten thousand dollars a year in labor and increased production. He gave me a twenty-fivedollar bonus.
I wanted to take Joe Carp and Frank Reilly out to lunch to celebrate, but Joe said he had to buy some things for his wife, and Frank said he was meeting his cousin for lunch. I guess itТll take a little time for them to get used to the changes in me. Everybody seems to be frightened of me. When I went over to Amos Borg and tapped him on the shoulder, he jumped up in the air.
People donТt talk to me much any more or kid around the way they used to. It makes the job kind of lonely.
April 27 I got up the nerve today to ask Miss Kinnian to have dinner with me tomorrow night to celebrate my bonus.
At first she wasnТt sure it was right, but I asked Dr. Strauss and he said it was okay. Dr. Strauss and Dr. Nemur donТt seem to be getting along so well. TheyТre arguing all the time. This evening when I came in to ask Dr. Strauss about having dinner with Miss Kinnian, I heard them shouting. Dr. Nemur was saying that it was his experiment and his research, and Dr. Strauss was shouting back that he contributed just as much, because he found me through Miss Kinnian and he performed the operation. Dr. Strauss said that someday thousands of neurosurgeons might be using his technique all over the world.
Dr. Nemur wanted to publish the results of the experiment at the end of this month. Dr. Strauss wanted to wait a while longer to be sure. Dr.
Strauss said that Dr. Nemur was more interested in the Chair of psychology at Princeton than he was in the experiment. Dr. Nemur said that Dr. Strauss was nothing but an opportunist who was trying to ride to glory on his coattails.
When I left afterwards, I found myself trembling. I donТt know why for sure, but it was as if IТd seen both men clearly for the first time. I remember hearing Burt say that Dr. Nemur had a shrew of a wife who was pushing him all the time to get things published so that he could became famous. Burt said that the dream of her life was to have a bigshot husband.
Was Dr. Strauss really trying to ride on his coattails?
April 28 I donТt understand why I never noticed how beautiful Miss Kinnian really is. She has brown eyes and feathery brown hair that comes to the top of her neck. SheТs only thirty-four! I think from the beginning I had the feeling that she was an unreachable geniusЧand very, very old. Now, every time I see her she grows younger and more lovely.
We had dinner and a long talk. When she said that I was coming along so fast that soon IТd be leaving her behind, I laughed.
УI donТt feel intelligent. There are so many things I donТt understand.Ф
She took out a cigarette and I lit it for her. УYouТve got to be a little patient. YouТre accomplishing in days and weeks what it takes normal people to do in half a lifetime. ThatТs what makes it so amazing. YouТre like a giant sponge now, soaking things in. Facts, figures, general knowledge. And soon youТll begin to connect them, too. YouТll see how the different branches of learning are related. There are many levels, Charlie, like steps on a giant ladder that take you up higher and higher to see more and more of the world around you.
УI can see only a little bit of that, Charlie, and I wonТt go much higher than I am now, but youТll keep climbing up and up, and see more and more, and each step will open new worlds that you never even knew existed.Ф She frowned. УI hope. . . I just hope to GodЧФ
УWhat?Ф
СNever mind, Charles. I just hope I wasnТt wrong to advise you to go into this in the first place.Ф
I laughed. УHow could that be? It worked, didnТt it? Even Algernon is still smart.Ф
We sat there silently for a while and I knew what she was thinking about as she watched me toying with the chain of my rabbitТs foot and my keys. I didnТt want to think of that possibility any more than elderly people want to think of death. I knew that this was only the beginning. I knew what she meant about levels because IТd seen some of them already. The thought of leaving her behind made me sad.
IТm in love with Miss Kinnian.
PROGRESS REPORT 12
April 30 IТve quit my job with DonneganТs Plastic Box Company. Mr.
Donnegan insisted that it would be better for ali concerned if I left.
What did I do to make them hate me so?
The first I knew of it was when Mr. Donnegan showed me the petition. Eight hundred and forty names, everyone connected with the factory, except Fanny Girden. Scanning the list quickly, I saw at once that hers was the only missing name. All the rest demanded that I be fired.
Joe Carp and Frank Reilly wouldnТt talk to me about it. No one else would either, except Fanny. She was one of the few people IТd known who set her mind to something and believed it no matter what the rest of the world proved, said, or didЧand Fanny did not believe that I should have been fired. She had been against the petition on principle and despite the pressure and threats sheТd held out.
УWhich donТt mean to say,Ф she remarked, Уthat I donТt think thereТs something mighty strange about you, Charlie. Them changes. I donТt know. You used to be a good, dependable, ordinary manЧnot too bright maybe, but honest. Who knows what you done to yourself to get so smart all of a sudden. Like everybody around hereТs been saying, Charlie, itТs not right.Ф
УBut how can you say that, Fanny? WhatТs wrong with a man becoming inteffigent and wanting to acquire knowledge and understanding of the world around him?Ф
She stared down at her work and I turned to leave. Without looking at me, she said: УIt was evil when Eve listened to the snake and ate from the tree of knowledge. It was evil when she saw that she was
naked. If not for that none of us would ever have to grow old and sick, and die.Ф
Once again now I have the feeling of shame burning inside me. This intelligence has driven a wedge between me and all the people I once knew and loved. Before, they laughed at me and despised me for my ignorance and dullness; now, they hate me for my knowledge and understanding. What in GodТs name do they want of me?
TheyТve driven me out of the factory. Now IТm more alone than ever before.
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