"C M Kornbluth - The Silly Season" - читать интересную книгу автора (Kornbluth C M)

The Silly Season



C. M. Kornbluth




The Silly Season



IT WAS a hot summer afternoon in theOmahabureau of the World Wireless Press Service, and the
control bureau inNew Yorkkept nagging me for copy. But since it was a hot summer afternoon, there
was no copy. A wrapup of local baseball had cleared about an hour ago, and that was that. Nothing but
baseball happens in the summer. During the dog days, politicians are in theMainewoods fishing and
boozing, burglars are too tired to burgle, and wives think it over and decide not to decapitate their
husbands.

I pawed through some press releases. One sloppy stencil-duplicated sheet began: "Did you know that
the lemonade way to summer comfort and health has been endorsed by leading physiotherapists from
MainetoCalifornia? The Federated Lemon-Growers Association revealed today that a survey of 2,500
physiotherapists in 57 cities of more than 25,000 population disclosed that 87 per cent of them drink
lemonade at least once a day between June and September, and that another 72 per cent not only drink
the cooling and healthful beverage but actually prescribe it-"
Another note tapped out on the news circuit printer fromNew York: "960M-HW KICKER? ND
SNST-NY"

That wasNew Yorksaying they needed a bright and sparkling little news item immediately-"soonest." I
went to the eastbound printer and punched out: "96NY-UPCMNG FU MINS-OM"

The lemonade handout was hopeless; I dug into the stack again. TheStateUniversitysummer course was
inviting the governor to attend its summer conference on aims and approaches hi adult secondary
education. TheAgriculturalCollegewanted me to warn farmers that white-skinned hogs should be kept
from the direct rays of the summer sun. The manager of a fifth-rate local pug sent a writeup of his boy
and a couple of working press passes to his next bout in theOmahaArena. The Schwartz and White
Bandage Company contributed a glossy eight-by-ten of a blonde in a bathing suit improvised from two S.
& W. Redi-Dressings.

Accompanying text: "Pert starlet Miff McCoy is ready for any seaside emergency. That's not onjy a
darling swim suit she has on- it's two standard all-purpose Redi-Dressing bandages made by the
Schwartz and White Bandage Company ofOmaha. If a broken rib results from too-strenuous beach
athletics, Miff's dress can supply the dressing." Yeah. The rest of the stack wasn't even that good. I
dumped them all in the circular file, and began to wrack my brains in spite of the heat.

I'd have to fake one, I decided. Unfortunately, there had been no big running silly season story so far this
summer-no flying saucers, or monsters in the Florida Everglades, or chloroform bandits terrifying the city.
If there had, I could have hopped on and faked a "with." As it was, I'd have to fake a "lead," which is
harder and riskier.