"Katherine Kurtz - Kelson - The Quest for Saint Camber" - читать интересную книгу автора (Kurtz Katherine)

УI-suppose not,Ф Dhugal said in a small voice. УAs you said before, weТll never know.Ф He swallowed noisily and raised his chin higher, but he could not sustain eye contact.
УThereТs something else I have to ask, though,Ф he said. УAnd in light of how things have turned out, perhaps itТs even more important.Ф
УIТll answer if I can, son.Ф
УYou went ahead and made your vows. You became a priest. But you knew you were Deryni.Ф
УWell, of course, but-Ф
УWhy do you continue to deny what you did, then, and what you are?Ф Dhugal blurted, turning to gaze at his father with the uncompromising eyes of youth. УYouТre Deryni and youТre a priest. And youТre a good priest! YouТve proven by many years of faithful and righteous service that the two are not incompatible. There were Deryni priests before the Restoration, for GodТs sake, and they were good ones, too!Ф
УThatТs true,Ф Duncan whispered.
УThen, why donТt you admit it? Why keep playing these games of not answering either way? What can they do to you?Ф
Duncan could feel his heart pounding like a battering ram at the walls of his chest and he prayed Dhugal would drop the line of questioning.
УThere are a great many things they could do, son.Ф
УBut they wonТt. They didnТt. Some of the bishops know, and all of them surely suspect. You heard Wolfram today! And they knew it before they elected you a bishop.Ф
УYes, and Edmund Loris knew, too,Ф Duncan retorted, lists clenching involuntarily as the memory of the renegade archbishopТs tortures loomed unbeckoned in his mindТs eye. The nails had grown back on his fingers and toes, and his .other wounds had healed, but the nightmare of being chained to the stake, with the flames leaping up around him, beginning to lick at his flesh, would be with Duncan McLain until the day he died.
But the invoking of LorisТ name had brought Dhugal back to the reality of what could happen, for it was he who had fought his way through the fire and LorisТ men to save his father, Dhugal gasped as he realized what memories he had stirred and he shifted his gaze out to the rain again.
УIТm sorry,Ф he said quietly. УI have no right to ask that of you. IТm new to knowing what I am. YouТve had to live with it all your life. It has to be your decision. ItТs just that Morgan and Kelson are able to be so open-Ф
УAnd youТd like to be, too, wouldnТt you?Ф Duncan replied softly. УI know, son. Believe me, IТve thought about it often, but-Ф
He broke off as Morgan stepped into the opening of the alcove, clearing his throat to announce his presence.
УSorry to interrupt,Ф Morgan said. УDuncan, had you forgotten we have some important further business with Bishop Arilan?Ф
Duncan blinked and shook his head. He had not forgotten, but he was not looking forward to it. Dhugal and Kelson did not know it yet, but tonight was the night that Morgan and Duncan had agreed Arilan should expose the two young men to merasha for the first time. The very notion made DuncanТs stomach queasy, for Loris had given him the drug when he fell captive of the renegade archbishop the summer before. It acted only as a sedative in humans, but even a minute amount could render a Deryni totally incapable of using his powers. Morgan, too, had cause to know merashaТs dangers from bitter firsthand experience, but it was important that both Dhugal and the king experience its disruptive effects in a safe, controlled setting before they chanced encountering it in less favorable circumstances. There was no antidote, but sometimes the effects could be minimized or made to work somewhat positively, if the subject was familiar with them.
Back in the supper room. Kelson was already seated at the now-cleared table before the fireplace, Nigel across from him-for they had agreed that the kingТs uncle should be present, as regent, since the king would be incapacitated for the rest of the night. Dhugal glanced questioningly at Kelson as he sat down at KelsonТs left and his father sat beside him, but the king only shrugged as Morgan took a place on KelsonТs right. Arilan came back to the table with a tooled leather flask in his hands and an odd, tight expression on his face.
УI apologize if this may seem a bit abrupt,Ф the Deryni bishop said, sitting opposite the two younger men and ignoring their expressions of apprehension as he set the flask on the table between them. УHowever, I have my reasons. Sire, I doubt you saw this flask on the day your father died- or that you remember it, if you did. You should, though. This is what killed your father.Ф
CHAPTER TWO
Open thy mouth, and drink what I give thee to drink.
-II Esdras 14:38
УThis is what killed your father.Ф
ArilanТs words pierced like steel in the hearts of the four present who had known Brion Haldane intimately. KelsonТs face drained of color, grey eyes like dead coals in a death-white mask. Nigel gasped soundlessly, stricken, in that instant looking uncannily like the beloved elder brother who had died in his arms. Duncan crossed himself in horrified disbelief. Only Morgan responded with action, half coming to his feet to lunge between Kelson and the bishop, an open hand stretching toward ArilanТs throat.
УDonТt touch me, or youТll regret it!Ф Arilan snapped, not even flinching as MorganТs hand pulled up in a fist a hairТs breadth from his face. УSit down. YouТd think I killed Brion. Actually, neither did this-though itТs what enabled him to be killed in the way he was. Surely you guessed it was merasha that made him vulnerable-or do you think I somehow had something to do with it?Ф
As Morgan drew back and sat down, not trusting himself to speak, Duncan slowly exhaled and glanced at Arilan, a hand staying Nigel, whose mouth was working, but without words coming out.
УNo one is making any accusations,Ф Duncan said carefully, at the same time bidding the others, with his mind, to keep silent while he sought an explanation. УThough I think it occurs to all of us, now, that you could have done. I assume thatТs the flask that Colin of Fianna shared with the king that day. We never learned how merasha got into it, however.Ф
Arilan sat back with a snort of derision, crossing his arms on his chest. His lean, handsome face, blue-jowled this late in the day, looked a little satanic as the shadows came and went in the flickering firelight, and his deep blue-violet eyes were nearly the color of his cassock in the dimness.
УDonТt be absurd. If youТll recall, Nigel, it was I who first told you that Colin said heТd gotten it from a mysterious lady.Ф
УThen, where did you get the flask?Ф Nigel countered. УWe searched high and low for it, but we never found a trace. Colin said he guessed heТd lost it on the ride back from the hunt.Ф
Arilan nodded. УAnd so he did. Only, I was the one who СlostТ it for him. I knew, the moment I reached BrionТs side and saw that he was dying, that heТd gotten merasha in him from somewhere-and IТd seen him drinking with Colin only minutes before.
УSo I waylaid Colin in the courtyard after we got back, while everyone was milling around and seeing BrionТs body brought into the great hall, and I relieved him of the flask- which was, indeed, the source of the merasha. He never remembered that part of our conversation, of course. I left it to the rest of you to draw the correct conclusion that Charissa had been the giver of the deadly gift-something I couldnТt tell you then, or even about the merasha, without betraying that I was Deryni.Ф
УI-assume there was nothing you could do to save my father, either,Ф Kelson finally said, speaking for the first time. УI donТt want to believe that you could have done something and didnТt, just to protect your precious identity.Ф
Arilan glanced down at his clasped hands. УKelson, I will not deny that I have been guilty of that accusation on more than one occasion. The nightmares I suffer because of it are worse than you can possibly imagine and only a foretaste of the answering I shall have to make one day before a higher Judge. But your fatherТs blood is not on my hands. The damage already was done by the time I got to him. I doubt that even a Healer could have saved him-if we still had qualified Healers.Ф
УIs that the truth, or are you just saying it to placate me?Ф Kelson replied, daring to turn his Truth-Reading ability on the Deryni bishop for the first time.
Smiling gently, quite aware of the feather-light probe, Arilan shook his head and opened his hands in a gesture of submission.
УI have told you only the truth. Kelson,Ф he breathed. УThere was nothing I could have done for your father save to prolong his agony a few more minutes. He would not have chosen that, I think. You were there. You know how he suffered.Ф
УAye.Ф Kelson swallowed down the lump rising in his throat and looked away for a few seconds, shutting himself off from the mental query of Morgan and even DhugalТs timid attempt to comfort. He tried not to look at the flask still on the table before him.
УSo,Ф he finally said, risking a glance at Arilan again. УYouТve had the flask all this time. Why bring it out now?Ф
УI think you know.Ф
Very deliberately, Arilan reached into his cassock and pulled out a small, stoppered glass vial, which he set deliberately beside the flask.
УItТs time you faced the thing that can set all your powers at naught. Sire,Ф he said. УYouТve never experienced merasha disruption directly. Nor has Dhugal. For Deryni fortunate enough to receive formal training, itТs an important part of that training, because even though merasha is probably the single most devastating substance that can be employed against our powers, an informed subject can sometimes minimize the effects and even use some of them to his advantage. Duncan can attest to that, IТm sure.Ф
Tight-lipped, Duncan nodded, covering one of DhugalТs hands with his own, and Kelson shifted an accusing glance to Morgan.
УAlaric, did you know about this?Ф he demanded.
Morgan drew a deep breath and let it out audibly.
УNot about the flask, no. Duncan and I had discussed with Arilan the need to expose you to merasha before you left on your summer progress. We had agreed that tonight was the logical time to do it. I didnТt tell you, because I didnТt want you to be apprehensive about that when you needed all your concentration for the hearing this morning. As you may have gathered, however, I was not expecting him to produce the very merasha that Brion was given. That was a foul blow, Arilan.Ф
Arilan spread both hands in a gesture of conciliation. For that, I apologize. I had not realized the wounds were still so raw. But it seemed a vivid way of underlining why itТs important they face merasha. In that, at least, I believe I have made my point.Ф
УAmply,Ф Kelson muttered. He picked up the stoppered vial and held it to the light, conjuring handfire with his empty fend to see it better. Through the greenish glass, he could just make out the shadow of a clear liquid filling it halfway. He shivered as he put it back down and quenched the handfire with an impatient closing of his fist.
УSo, thatТs merasha.Ф