"Stanislaw Lem - The Offer Of King Krool" - читать интересную книгу автора (Lem Stanislaw)

The Offer of King Krool
Stanislaw Lem

An Impressive Advertisement

The tremendous success of their application of the Gargantius Effect gave both
constructors such an appetite for adventure, that they resolved to sally forth once again to
parts unknown.
Unfortunately, they were quite unable to decide on a destination.
Trurl, given to tropical climes, had his heart set on Scaldonia, the land of the Flaming
Flamingos, while Klapaucius, of a somewhat cooler disposition, was equally determined to visit
the Intergalactic Cold Pole, a bleak continent adrift among frozen stars. The friends were
about to part company for good when Trurl suddenly had an idea. тАЬWait,тАЭ he said, тАЬwe can
advertise our services, then take the best offer!тАЭ
тАЬRidiculous!тАЭ snorted Klapaucius. тАЬHow are you going to advertise? In a newspaper? Do you
have any idea how long it takes a newspaper to reach the nearest planet? You'll be dead and
buried before the first offer comes in!тАЭ
But Trurl gave a knowing smile and revealed his plan, which KlapauciusтАФbegrudginglyтАФhad
to admit was ingenious, and so they set to work. All the necessary equipment quickly thrown
together, they gathered up the local stars and arranged them in a great sign, a sign that
would be visible at truly incalculable distances. Only blue giants were used for the first
wordтАФto get the cosmic reader's attentionтАФand lesser stellar material made up the others.
The advertisement read: Two Distinguished Constructors Seek Employment Commensurate
with Their Skill and Above All Lucrative, Hence Preferably at the Court of a Well-heeled King
(Should Have His Own Kingdom), Terms to Be Arranged.


The Emissary

It was not long before, one bright morning, a most marvelous craft alighted on their front
lawn. It gleamed in the sun, all inlaid with mother-of-pearl, had three legs intricately carved
and six additional supports of solid gold (quite useless, since they didn't even reach the
groundтАФbut then, the builders obviously had more wealth than they knew what to do with).
Down a magnificent staircase with billowing fountains on either side there came a figure of
stately bearing with a retinue of six-legged machines: some of these massaged him, some
supported him and fanned him, and the smallest flew above his august brow and sprayed it
with eau de cologne from an atomizer. This impressive emissary greeted the constructors on
behalf of his lord and sovereign, King Krool, who wished to engage them.
тАЬWhat sort of work is it?тАЭ asked Trurl, interested.
тАЬThe details, gentle sirs, you shall learn at the proper time,тАЭ was his reply. He was dressed
in galligaskins of gold, mink-tufted buskins, sequined earmuffs, and a robe of most unusual
cutтАФinstead of pockets it had little shelves full of mints and marzipan. Tiny mechanical flies
also buzzed about his person, and these he brushed away whenever they grew too bold.
тАЬFor now,тАЭ he went on, тАЬI can only say that His Boundless Kroolty is a great enthusiast of
the hunt, a fearless and peerless conqueror of every sort of galactic fauna, and verily, his
prowess has reached such heights that now the fiercest predators known are ┬╣longer worthy
game for him. And herein lies our misfortune, for he craves excitement, danger, thrills... which
is whyтАФтАЭ
тАЬOf course!тАЭ said Trurl. тАЬHe wants us to construct a new model of beast, something wild
and rapacious enough to present a challenge.тАЭ