"Granvort, The Discount Wizard" - читать интересную книгу автора (Mendel R E)

УSilence!Ф demanded the Gatekeeper. УOnly the most worthy are permitted entrance to the Enchanted Forest. Be gone with you!Ф

Seconds of absolute silence were broken by a horrific shriek. Emerging from the woods was giant monster with six yellow eyes, four arms and a ferocious mouth filled with dagger-like teeth. The creature charged at Granvort who stood his ground and did not flinch. Just as the four arms were about to strike, the monster vanished in thin air.

УMagnificent!Ф exclaimed the Gatekeeper. УNo one has ever passed my test so definitively. You are truly worthy.Ф

Granvort barely heard what the Gatekeeper had said to him as he was desperately trying to dislodge his foot from a cracked bridge plank so that he could run away. He froze as he saw rustling in the woods on the other side of the bridge and out emerged ... a chipmunk.

The chipmunk looked at Granvort with its big bright eyes, its button nose twitching affectionately, its chubby cheeks glowing with glee. УYou are most welcome, my dear Wizard Granvort,Ф the chipmunk bellowed in its deep thunderous voice.

УWell, the pleasure is all mine,Ф responded Granvort meekly, covertly removing his foot from the broken plank.

The Gatekeeper, so impressed by GranvortТs show of courage, offered to personally escort him to the home of the Enchanted Florist. Rapidly skipping through the forest, the Gatekeeper wove effortlessly through the twisted and turning trails. Granvort was having difficulty keeping up, but his skipping and prancing was surprisingly passable.

At the end of an overgrown pass was a small cottage covered in vines and moss. A small sign stood in front reading: The Enchanted Florist of the Enchanted ForestЧNo Soliciting.

The Gatekeeper merrily skipped to the front door, knocking with great force. They waited for many minutes, but there was no response. The Gatekeeper enunciated in his deepest and most authoritative voice, УOh, Enchanted Florist, tis I the Gatekeeper. I bring the brave and noble Wizard Granvort of the Royal Court of ThyslandЧФ

УProbationary,Ф Granvort added helpfully.

The Gatekeeper continued, УYou know that I am not one for frivolity. I would not disturb you if I did not find merit in this mighty wizardТs quest.Ф

Granvort could hear the pitter-pattering of feet on the other side of the wall. A tiny eye hole swung open in the middle of the door.

УWell, well, the Mighty Wizard Granvort,Ф a disembodied voice laden with a palpable dollop of sarcasm pronounced through the eye hole, Уand how is the Minister of Finance?Ф

УI hear he is adjusting well,Ф responded Granvort, not picking up on the contempt oozing through the eyehole.

УAre you not the same Wizard Granvort who brought the Fughtstul Empire to its knees by a terrible plague?Ф The voice clearly knew the answer.

УA most remarkable feat, is it not?Ф demanded the Gatekeeper.

УTrue, but I believe that he was actually in the employ of the Fughtstul Emperor and was charged with adding vitamins to the water supplyФЧthe voice of the eyehole was clearly enjoying thisЧФI believe that you are also the same Wizard Granvort who, in the service of the Potentate of Naughwayr, blew up his castle in the midst of his daughterТs wedding?Ф

УIn fairness,Ф said Granvort, Уthe marriage didnТt last.Ф

УEnough!Ф insisted the Gatekeeper. УI unleashed upon this wizard my most terrifying apparition and he did not even flinch. The test of bravery has never been mistaken. By refusing entry to the Wizard Granvort you are insulting both myself and the office of the Gatekeeper.Ф

УOh, very well,Ф sighed the voice, which of course was that of the Enchanted Florist. The little door creaked open, unveiling an impossibly large room for such a tiny cottage. As far as the eye could see was shelf upon shelf of the most exotic flora and fauna.

The Enchanted Florist was a short, angry looking man whose age was impossible to guess. He made no secret of his irritation at this unwelcome interruption, but who could resist the authority, power and chubby cheeks of the Gatekeeper?

Granvort and the Gatekeeper sat in the undersized lounge chairs in the middle of the cavernous room. Granvort squirmed uncomfortably as the Florist brought him a cup of bitter smelling tea and the Gatekeeper a bowl of nuts.

УSo, Mighty Wizard Granvort,Ф the Florist began without conviction, Уwhat brings you to my modest home?Ф

Beginning to wonder how such a small man could produce so much sarcasm, Granvort proceeded, УHave you heard of the term dragon?Ф

Somehow the Florist managed to audibly roll his eyes. УI have been practicing the Black Arts since the days when the moon itself was young. Yes, Wizard Granvort, I have come across the term dragon.Ф