"John Morressy - The Curse of the Von Krumplestein's and Other Horrors" - читать интересную книгу автора (Morressy John)

THE CURSE OF THE
VON
KRUMPELSTEINS
AND OTHER
HORRORS:
CONTENTS OF
VOLUME I
John Morressy
In these times When Trilogies Rule the Earth, John Morressy has
kindly done us the favor of synopsizing volume one. Once you finish,
you'll be able to fake your way through any cocktail party conversation
or editorial meeting. Just remember to smile and nod a lot.



CHAPTER ONE: IN WHICH our hero, with his ragtag band of outcasts,
misfits, undesirables, bums, and loafers, sets out on the quest for the
Magic Thing, despite the chilling prophecy of the Flat Man. A cloaked
figure is seen on the road to Castle Krumpelstein, bearing what appears to
be a large lump of tofu. The meeting between Mme. Brissard and the
infamous Contessa Di Pravity ends in tragedy following an interminable
discussion of free will. Norman reveals the truth about the missing
biscuits. A brief history of the chin, with suggestions for its use.
Chapter Two: In which a mysterious stranger arrives in Doyle's
Furnace, Ohio, and reveals the six secrets of instant hair loss. Ricardo and
his sister outwit the Slattery twins, save the orphanage, and get Mrs.
Zapinski to the Sorcerer's Institute just in time for George's
transformation. Inside tips on forging Uncle Harry's signature, building a
handy low-cost particle accelerator, investing in successful children, and
turning that dank root cellar into useful attic space, all for under ten
dollars or the amount on Line 44a, whichever is less.
Chapter Three: In which Sherman Tank, former Agent C21 of SLUSH, is
recalled to service when a TX2D-71B/3(a) manned by renegade
acronymists penetrates BAMNORDOPSIMFAT security and threatens the
meeting of WESNADSUBLIFDIPCOM ministers at CAPCOMSAC HQ,
bringing the world to the brink of tears. The little lost kitten is found
under Mrs. Tureen's porch. Mafouz delights the sultan with tales of The
Magic Eraser and wins freedom for himself and Selima, fairest flower of
Zonguldak (Pop. 36,874) in time for this once-in-a-lifetime vacation in the
Islets of Langerhans, with suggestions on what to pack and whom to leave
behind. The twelve Murphys return to life, having lost all interest in the
ukulele. A simple five-minute quiz will help you determine which of your
neighbors are dangerous sociopaths and which are harmless loonies.
Chapter Four: In which our hero is born, thanks to a generous grant
from the Ringling Brothers' Foundation. Scenes from his early life,
including the adventure of the seventh teddy bear, the enigma of the
laughing uncle, and the story of Eleanor the purple crayon lady. Pjmq,
Grand Wooxxo of Glippiland, disappears on the third day of the Festival of
Tiny Plastic Spoons, and the Soft People are suspected of plotting
mischief. After a pursuit spanning three continents, D. D. "Spats" Larsen